Dating has never been more ambiguous than it is today. People sort of end up with each other without explicitly defining the nature of their relationship, level of commitment, or expectations for the future. What begins as hanging out, slides into spending the night, which slides into moving in together, and can even sometimes slide into marriage.
While keeping your romantic relationships ambiguous may seem to make them safer and less complicated, my guest today has conducted research that shows that’s not necessarily the case. His name is Scott Stanley, he’s an author and professor of psychology at the University of Denver, and he specializes in studying commitment, co-habitating, and marriage.
Today on the show, Scott explains why dating has gotten more ambiguous during the past 20 years and why that has led people to slide into relationships instead of explicitly deciding and committing to them. He then highlights research that shows that, contrary to popular belief, co-habitating before marriage actually increases the chances of divorce when you do decide to get married and how living with someone makes it harder to break up with them, even when you realize you should.
We then get into what men can do to make dating less ambiguous and more decisive, and how being upfront about your intentions with women will make you more attractive, reduce drama down the road, and put you in a better position for a happy and fulfilling marriage. Scott then shares what you should do if you feel like you’ve slid into your relationship and what married couples can do to strengthen their marriage.
Whether you’re dating, thinking about getting married, or already hitched, this podcast is crammed with research-backed advice on how to have better relationships.
- Why and how dating today is much more ambiguous than 20-30 years ago
- The truth about the link between cohabitation and marital success
- Why living together makes it harder to break up
- The biggest change in the dating world in the last 40 years
- The problems with keeping relationships ambiguous
- Why giving labels to a relationship is actually a good thing
- How can men make dating less ambiguous?
- Why taking risks in dating is important
- What to do if you’ve slid into marriage
- Maintaining a strong marriage, and getting through rough spots
- The power of small, easy acts of kindness in a relationship
Resources/People/Articles Mentioned in Podcast
- Stop Hanging Out With Women and Start Dating Them
- Should You Live Together Before Marriage?
- How Delaying Intimacy Benefits Your Relationship
- “Is this a date or not?”
- How to Ask a Woman on a First Date
- The Secret to a Successful Relationship
- Funding Your Relationship Bank Account
- Scott’s blog: Sliding vs. Deciding
- Men and Opposite-Sex Friendships
- 10 Commandments of Clean Communication
- How to Communicate Your Needs in a Relationship
Connect With Scott
Listen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)
The Strenuous Life. The Strenuous Life is a platform for those who wish to revolt against our age of ease, comfort, and existential weightlessness. It is a base of operations for those who are dissatisfied with the status quo and want to connect with the real world through the acquisition of skills that increase their sense of autonomy and mastery. Sign up for email updates, and be the first to know when the next enrollment opens up in January.
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Last updated: November 16, 2017