Editor’s Note: The article was originally published in January 2008. We’ve updated it.
Over the past few years, many social observers have noted that young adults are dating less. Instead, dating is being replaced by “hanging out” with members of the opposite sex. Dating and hanging out are two completely different things.
Hanging out consists of people getting together in groups and doing stuff together. It could be going to a club, a restaurant, or just staying home and playing Wii. The atmosphere is relaxed and relations among opposite sexes never rises above the level of friendship (or friendship with benefits). There is nothing wrong with hanging out, but it is not a replacement for dating.
Dating consists of pairing off with someone in a temporary commitment so you can get to know the person better and perhaps start a long term relationship with them.
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A lot of men today don’t seem to believe it, but getting hitched to the right woman is a very desirable thing.
So while there is nothing wrong with hanging out, it’s not a replacement for dating. Dating is the pathway to finding your true love and eventually settling down and getting married. Marriage is a one on one relationship, so you need to start getting to know women on a one on one basis. You might be hanging out with her and your friends right now, but if you don’t take her on date, she’ll forever be just your friend. So, start dating and stop hanging out. It really is not that hard to get a date with a woman. Here are some guidelines to remember as you take hanging out up a level to dating.
How to Ask a Girl Out
So, you’re ready to start dating and stop hanging out. You’re wondering how to ask her out. It really is not that hard to get a date with a woman. Here are some guidelines to remember as you take hanging out up a level to dating.
1. She wants you to ask. Despite the rhetoric you hear about the liberated woman, women still appreciate it when a guy asks her out on a date. They like when men take the initiative. I’ve heard lots of successful young professional women lament the fact that men don’t ask them out. They’re beautiful, smart, and charming, but don’t have a man. Be a man and ask these women out.
2. Asking is easy. Asking a woman out on a date isn’t rocket science. When you ask, though, do it in person or over the phone.
3. Keep dates simple. Dates don’t have to be huge, expensive affairs. Keep it simple. If you want to keep things informal, ask her out for lunch or coffee. If you want a more romantic date, invite her over to your place and make dinner for her. She’ll be impressed that you know how to cook. The whole point of dating is to get some one on one interaction with a person to find out if she is someone you’d like to start a long term relationship with. Simple and frequent dates will assist you in this.
4. Prepare for rejection. Face it. Not every woman you ask out is going to say yes. Prepare for that. It’s no big deal if she says no. Think about it. You’re no worse off getting rejected than you were before you asked. You didn’t have a date with her before, you don’t have a date with her now. Your situation has not changed.
5. Just do it, damn it. So what are you waiting for? Quit reading this post right now and pick up your cell phone. Call a woman and ask her on a date. Stop hanging out and start dating. Stop being scared of commitment. Commitment is liberating, not confining.
This stuff works. Ever since we originally published this article back in 2008, I’ve received several wedding invitations from men who met their wife to-be by following the advice in this article.
So When Should You Ask Girl Out?
Like getting married, having a baby, or starting a business, there’s never a right time to ask a girl out on a date. If you’re not sure, if she’s interested, learn how to know if a girl likes you. So just go ahead and ask her out if you’re interested. Will she say “no?” Possibly, but you won’t know until you ask.
And even if she says no, you’re no better off than you were before you asked.
Listen to my podcast about the problem with ambiguity in relationships:
- 8 Best First Date Ideas
- 15 Creative and Fund Date Ideas
- 10 Cheap Date Ideas
- 10 Great Fall Date Ideas
- How to Ask Better Questions on a First Date
- How to Invite People to Do Things Without Being Awkward About It