Podcast #1,140: Go Ahead and Feel Envious (It Can Be a Positive Force)

Envy is a universal human emotion, but it’s one we don’t like to admit we feel. When a friend gets a promotion, a neighbor buys a bigger house, or someone you follow on social media seems to be living a better life than you, you might feel a pang of envy. And then you probably feel bad about feeling envious.

But what if envy isn’t necessarily a bad thing? What if, instead of trying to suppress it, you could use it to build a better life?

My guest today says that’s entirely possible. Her name is Dr. Stacy Kim, and she’s a social scientist, a coach who works with high achievers, and the author of Envy: Why Wanting What They Have Is the Key to Getting What You Want.

Today on the show, Stacy explains the difference between benign and malicious envy, how envy can reveal what we really want out of life, and how envy is experienced and expressed differently in the U.S. versus Korea, where Stacy was born. We also discuss why you can’t simply stop comparing yourself to others, how to turn envy into motivation and meaningful action, and how this uncomfortable emotion can actually help you build stronger relationships with others.