Art of Manliness Podcast #45: Mating Intelligence with Drs. Glenn Geher and Scott Barry Kaufman

by Brett on May 2, 2013 · 7 comments

in Podcast

Welcome back to another edition of the Art of Manliness Podcast!

In today’s episode we discuss mating intelligence with the authors of a new book on the subject. Drs. Glen Geher and Scott Barry Kaufman are pyschologists and the authors of the book Mating Intelligence Unleashed: The Role of the Mind in Sex, Dating, and LoveTheir book takes a look at cutting edge research from evolutionary psychology, intelligence, creativity, personality, social psychology, and neuroscience to show what men and women find attractive in one another and what we can all do to increase our mating intelligence in order to have more success in forming and maintaining relationships. 

mating

Highlights from the show include:

  • What men and women find attractive in one another
  • The number one thing women find attractive in a man (it’s not what you think it is)
  • The difference between short-term and long-term dating strategies
  • How sharing a passion for a hobby can make your long-term relationship stronger
  • The differing mating strategies of men and women
  • How the Pill changes what women find attractive in a man
  • The difference between prestige and dominance and what women find attractive
  • Do Pick-up Artist techniques really work?
  • The positives and negatives of technology on mating intelligence

Mating Intelligence Unleashed is a great read. Super interesting dating advice that’s actually backed up by science instead of hype. Definitely recommend picking it up.

I also recommend checking out Scott’s blog on creativity, The Creativity Post (it’s one of my new favorite websites), as well as Glenn’s collection of articles on evolutionary psychology.

Listen to the podcast!

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

1 paininabox May 2, 2013 at 5:38 pm

Wow, these guys aren’t very good at communicating scientific ideas without the jargon. Evolutionary psychology basically says that human behavior is encoded, to some degree, in genes, such that certain behaviors cause them to be selected and passed on; for example, body shape preferences, pheromone detection, or voice pitch preference. Non-mating behaviors that may have been selected, for example, are being protective of offspring, or seeking food when hungry, or drink when thirsty. The point of evolutionary psychology being applied to mating is that men and women have similar preferences across the board because those preferences are encoded in their genes, as opposed to other ideas that think that opposites attract or that everyone has different preferences. This idea can be used in many ways, such as clothing choices that make someone appear to have a more desirable body shape (as found through evolutionary psychology), makeup being used to give a glow or blush to the cheeks to give the impression of a woman currently ovulating and being more attractive, and perfumes or colognes. As is mentioned, pick-up artists attempt to apply the idea to become the evolutionarily ideal man or woman in order to key into these subconscious desires in the opposite sex.

The premise of the book, then, is to discuss scientific research findings that suggest possible mating choice preferences that are common to all people through their genes, which is always interesting to anyone trying to get a boyfriend or girlfriend. However, these kind of findings aren’t absolute; it is easy to think of examples of people you know that completely disagree on what is attractive in a man or woman. Also, a lot of this kind of research is done by conducting interviews asking people what they find attractive, which could be inaccurate as it is common knowledge how inaccurate self-reporting is. Like most things, it is probably a mix of both evolutionary preference and specific preferences of each individual that dictate what they do and don’t like in a mate.

2 Srinivas Kari May 3, 2013 at 4:05 am

These are very subjective findings. I know of instances where fat, ugly men end up with hot, beautiful women. What I really observed is this: women only see your body language, the way you talk, your confidence and your general life skills. They do not take out a measuring tape and measure the size of your biceps, hips, number of abs etc. They are only affected by body language, what you think, your confidence etc and other things related to your general behavior in the present.

3 Kevin May 3, 2013 at 12:28 pm

Srinivas
While their definitely are instances as you said where these ideas are not true, you’re looking at it at to narrow a field. These findings are based on overarching similarities found in hundreds of people, but in a study not every single variable is going to agree. Out of hundreds of women, not everyone is going to be so attracted to the physique of a potential mate, but a strong percentage of them will. And while you say, no one is going to take out a tape and measure your biceps, The initial viewing and subconsciousness attraction will definitely affect the interaction in most people. Of course you are right, in that body language is a huge portion of personal attractiveness, it is by no means the only factor.

4 Srinivas Kari May 6, 2013 at 12:16 pm

@Kevin
I agree that humans evolved to naturally like certain physical/character traits such as a symmetrical face, a thin body, a positive body language etc. which meant a better chance at survival and prosperity/ lack of disease for the offspring. However, what I am saying is that body language and the way men talk and make eye contact is the most important factor. I am not saying that physical beauty plays no role, I am just saying that women are ultimately attracted to positive body language and charm/confidence first and then to physical attractiveness second.

5 Jerry May 7, 2013 at 11:29 am

“The girl you marry will take a terrible chance on you. She will give her all to the young man she marries. He will largely determine the remainder of her life. She will even surrender her name to his name.” -Gordon B. Hinckley

Based off of my experiences if a girl/woman does not view you as a leader, comfortable in your own skin, able to stand your ground, and be your own man.. you can forget about her remaining attracted to you. You may be as physically attractive as Brad Pitt or as funny as Ron White but if your a guy with no backbone or direction in your life,(mommas boy) the interaction/relationship is going to be short lived.
Women need a man who leads his own life, And this is where A LOT of guys fail.
As I see it, this is the #1 thing a woman wants to know about a guy after she meets him and believe me, women can usually figure it out within minutes or even seconds after meeting you/him.

6 Thomas May 13, 2013 at 2:07 pm

This was an awesome interview and a topic that I find very interesting because I am 43 years old and still single. I have always had a problem attracting the women that I am interested in.

I Downloaded “Mating Intelligence” from Amazon yesterday and have begun reading it!

7 Adrian May 15, 2013 at 9:59 pm

Having read the book and then reading these comments again, I come to realize that those who made these comments likely did not read the book.

The book is so comprehensive and is backed by so much research that it reads more like a textbook than a regular non-fiction. I absolutely love it and recommend it to everyone.

This book is less about finding techniques to impress girls, but more about the pursuit of truth within the domain of evolutionary psychology and other biological inferences being made from empirical data.

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