10 Places to Meet Women Other Than a Bar or Nightclub

by A Manly Guest Contributor on March 27, 2011 · 176 comments

in Dating, Relationships & Family

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Joe Weber.

Who: Her.

What: Potentially a relationship.

Where: …um…

It’s that last question where most guys get stuck and end up with the cliche answer of “the bar.” The reality is very few relationships begin in bars and pubs. According to a survey by sociologist David Grazian, only 20% of adults met their most recent partner at a bar.  So there has to be other places to meet a woman, right?

Sure there are. But first, do yourself a favor. Forget the where for a second and instead focus on the why. Why are you looking? Be honest. If your answer is: “because I’m unhappy/bored with being alone, and I’d just really like to be in a relationship…” then you might as well be looking for a date on Jupiter. Get more than okay with yourself and be fine with being alone, and then it’ll happen. As to where? Could be anywhere. Amazing, single women are certainly out there. But they tend to only reveal themselves as such to confident men who are open to a relationship, yet at the same time aren’t exhibiting the slightest hint of desperation. Now with all that said, here’s a few non-bar places to keep your ears up…

Your Friend’s House

You got friends right? Friends that might even be married or have significant others? These friends probably throw parties/get-togethers/poker tournaments/Kentucky Derby shindigs (whatever, you get the point) from time to time. Show up, look good, have fun. One of those times your pal’s wife is going to invite her new co-worker friend to that same party. Maybe you two will hit it off. Just don’t egg your friends on to set you up.

Charity Galas / Non Profit Functions

Nice guys don’t always finish last. And nice guys show up to charity events to support great causes. Every non profit from food banks to humane societies have started throwing swanky evening affairs. Silent auctions, live auctions, dinner, dancing, etc…not a bad way to spend some cash for a good cause and maybe meet a few people along the way.

The Gym

It’s a pretty difficult place to launch a relationship, but if you’re a gym rat that gets to your health club of choice at the same set time, more than a few days a week, then you’re going to see some familiar faces. You get used to seeing the regulars. And if there’s a particular regular that you find yourself working out around that’s of some interest to you? An opportunity might present itself. Plus, if you care about your health, and she cares about hers, well there’s something in common already. But this is seriously dangerous. High adrenaline + lack of clothing almost always makes you the creep. She’s there to workout. Just like you. Respect that. But don’t shy away from it if there’s maybe something there.

Coffee Shops

They’re just like bars. Only instead of alcohol, the drug is caffeine. And the women who frequent coffee shops tend to be more laid-back and grounded.

Work

Take a look at these awesome plans I've drawn up here...to take you out on a date.

It’s where I met my wife. Actually, we met before I had the job there. I went in for the interview, saw her walk by, and felt extra motivated to land the gig. It can get pretty dicey if you’re dating someone in your workplace, but if it’s someone you really connect with? It’s worth the land mines. Just know your company’s procedure and shoot a quick email to HR. Best case scenario is that the two of you become great friends, develop a mutual attraction, and then she leaves to take a better job at an ad agency across town. Worked out perfect for me.

The Bank

The tellers. Goodness. You’re given just the right amount of time to make small talk and perhaps even make her laugh. Plus you have a natural exit each time. Let that develop. And if it doesn’t work out? There’s always the ATM.

The Dog Park

Pet owners get each other. Especially those that love their dogs. If your dog and her dog get along and like to play? Bonus. But don’t go out looking to adopt a dog just to use as date bait.

Online

Don’t laugh. You’re online right now. And as great of an idea as an Art of Manliness dating site spin-off may be, Brett hasn’t gotten to that one yet. Yes there are plenty of odd ones (both male and female) lurking on dating websites. But if you live in a city where people get married young? And those that aren’t married have a hard time connecting? It’s not a total waste of time. Two of my most favorite people on the planet met online. She’s a whip smart, big city gal with a job that takes her around the world…and he’s a works with his hands, born and raised in North Dakota, ready to match wits, hunter-type who loves his yellow lab and 57 Chevy. They ended up together because they’re perfect for each other and neither was desperate to be in a relationship. That and he resisted making his dating site profile pic one of him holding up his latest kill from a hunt. Don’t do that. Women don’t tend to like that.

An Airplane/Airport

Step 1: Leave your crocs and torn jeans at home. Attractive women seem to really be into guys who take the time to dress well when travelling. It’s probably because outside of Walmart, an airplane is where people tend to dress their absolute worst. Look down the rows of any major commercial jet and most people look like they’re dressed to clean out the garage. If you’re the guy in the suit, or even nice jeans, decent shoes, and a cotton blazer? Congrats. She’ll want to sit next to you or maybe even share a drink during a layover. The most obvious drawback is that she might not live where you live.

Church

Now don’t go showing up to some church just so you can pick up the ladies. Even if they don’t immediately sniff out your insincerity, success will mean snagging a devout woman who will eventually discover your true intentions and the fact that you’re not on the same page. But if you’re already the religious type, church is a great place to meet women. First, the odds are already in your favor with women outnumbering men at nearly every church. Second, many of these women are looking to meet Mr. Right, so they’re approachable. Third, you know right off the bat that all these women likely share your same religious beliefs and values, which is an important factor in the success of long term relationships.

Many churches have singles programs that you can join. Sign up for the activities and get involved.

Despite the benefits of meeting women at church, there are a few drawbacks. The dating pool is often small which can create a lot of drama. For example, you can date one woman one month and decide it won’t work, so you break it off. Problem is you’ll still have to see her Sunday, which can make things awkward. Things can get even more uncomfortable if you decide to date another woman in your congregation. Tread carefully.

The Rest – Where Women Tend to Be

Rec sports leagues, volunteer organization events, bookstores, affordable furniture and decor stores like Cost Plus World Market, even Bed Bath & Beyond. These are all places where you can, if you so choose, engage a great looking woman in conversation without coming off as creepy. How do I know? I asked a panel of six female friends, and they all agreed that these extra locations should give a guy ample opportunities to strike up a conversation with someone whom he probably has something in common with. For the shopping locations, they’re relatively gender neutral but are also places where most women will gladly give you her opinion on an item (a new book, a bottle of wine, something that hangs on a wall). Activities like sports leagues or volunteer organizations guarantee you’ll have something to talk about. Whether it’s the cause you’re supporting, or the softball game that was just played. Just be your normal charming self, dress like you care about your appearance (because you do right?), and let it happen.

As a final note, keep in mind that women aren’t specifically in these places to be picked up by a dude. They’re working, exercising, and relaxing. So be wary of becoming an annoyance, where she has to dread seeing you walk in the door at her place of work or has to switch her workout time to avoid seeing you at the gym. Start with really short, passing chit chat, and slowly work towards having a little longer conversation. If she’s giving off signs that she’s into you, then continue. If not, then back off. And if you can’t read those kinds of social cues? Well you should probably work on that before you start dating.

Time for an AoM poll… Where’d you meet your significant other? Leave it all, bars included, in the comments section below.

______________________________________________________

Joe Weber is the Director and Editor of www.Dappered.com where affordable style is the one and only focus. He believes that living right, living well, and looking good doesn’t mean you should go broke in the process.

{ 176 comments… read them below or add one }

101 Tim March 28, 2011 at 3:25 pm

I met my wife in college but it wasn’t until her roommate married one of my best friends that we hit it off. The kicker: she was a bridesmaid, I was a groomsman and yes, I walked her down the aisle in their wedding. I still remember the first time I saw her in her bridesmaid gown. The first thought that went through my mind, “now there’s a girl I could marry.”

102 Bruce March 28, 2011 at 3:31 pm

My wife and I met in a community theater group. The production was Ann of the Thousand Days, about Ann Boleyn and Henry VIII. She was Ann and I was her Uncle, the Duke of Norfolk. I presided over her trial and sentenced her to death…by beheading.
We’re best friends, been together for 26 years, married for the last 25 and have three beautiful daughters. Obviously she got past that little beheading thing…

103 Jim Smith March 28, 2011 at 4:11 pm

My roommate’s girlfriend’s best friend became my wife. The first time I saw her, I thought wow so I periodically dropped hints to my roommate to try to get us in the same place at the same time. He and his girlfriend disagreed, and said that the two of us would be horrible for eachother. So, I waited, then one night all of us ended up in the same bar and we’ve been together for almost 17 years now. Neither of us was looking for a relationship. Everyone I know that was looking, got divorced. Everyone I know that wasn’t looking, still together. Hmmmm.

104 Mike Duty March 28, 2011 at 4:18 pm

My wife and I had two initial meetings. We were in college and we “officially” met in a cafeteria. I was sitting with a mutual friend of ours and the place was packed. He could see her looking for a place to sit and there was a place next to me and my friend. He stood up and shouted to her and invited her to sit with us. He introduced us and invited her to a Friday night Chi Alpha meeting.

The following Friday, the two of us showed up early. Everybody else was late, so we talked and she asked me to take her to the homecoming dance. We dated until she graduated then we got married and that’s been 15 years ago.

105 Rick Reed March 28, 2011 at 5:04 pm

My beautiful bride and I met @ church. We had both grown up at this church and our families knew one another. It wasn’t until my wife was in her 20′s when one day I looked at her and saw her in a different light. I definitely “married up” 25 years ago. She’s the greatest person in my life and I’m so grateful for her.

106 Kevin March 28, 2011 at 8:02 pm

I met my girlfriend at a local shooting range. She asked mt if she could borrow a couple of targets because she ran out. We’ve been shooting together for a year and a half now.

107 ZZ March 28, 2011 at 8:50 pm

Good for you for having the courage to suggest church.

108 Scott Howard (ScLoHo) March 28, 2011 at 9:16 pm

I met my current wife 11 years ago at an online dating site. This was before it was an acceptable and common practice.

My first wife and I were married 13 years and are still friends. We met when I was working as a night time disc jockey. She requested a song, I told her if I didn’t play it in 15 minutes, call me back.

Of course I didn’t play it, and she called. We set up our own blind date for the weekend and were married 5 months later!

109 Brad March 28, 2011 at 11:06 pm

O.K. I’ve been happily married for more than twenty years, but I’m going to take pity on my single, date-less brethren and pass along the secret of getting women–young women, older women, single women, married women, groups of women, and women in the company of other men–to walk up to you and speak to you spontaneously. (What you make of the encounter after the ice has been broken is up to you.)

It’s simple. Get a dog. Get an interesting, friendly-looking, cuddly dog that says that you’re manly but not homicidal (no teacup poodles or pitbulls), probably a good provider (since you can afford dog food and vet bills), and that you possess the ability and desire to care for other living things besides yourself.

Specifically, get a mastiff.

I’ve had two different mastiffs over the years, and it is just about impossible to walk one anywhere in public without having at least one woman come up to me and ask me about him. I’m not Quaismodo, but I’m certainly not George Clooney either, so it’s not me that’s the attraction. Find any store (one of our local bookstores, for instance) or public place that allows dogs, and prepare to have women walk up to you and ask you about your dog. Procede from there. As a married man, I use this power wisely and have never taken advantage of the many conversational openings I have been granted over the years. You may wish to do otherwise.

Frankly, if you can’t meet an attractive woman and engage her interest for at least a few minutes with a mastiff as a companion, you may want to consider life in a monastery as an alternative.

Another advantage of this method is that it automatically excludes women who don’t like dogs (and who would want to associate with someone like that?) and, if the relationship progresses, will learn to live with a creature that sheds, drools, snores and farts more that you ever thought possible. In comparison, your own drooling, snoring and farting will seem but a minor nuisance.

And if the relationship doesn’t work out, at least you still have your dog.

110 Beowulf87 March 29, 2011 at 3:36 am

Ha! This is a great post!

111 Anonymous March 29, 2011 at 7:39 am

I agree with all of them except for meeting women at the BANK………

I haven’t had a stable job for a bout two years…..
So my bank account is always almost always empty…

There’s been atleast 4 times when I got the “hey” looks from the female tellers while I’m still in line…………, but as soon as they saw my balance their face and body language changed….
3 minutes ago they were all perky…. and now they won’t even look at me..??

They were attractive women … but.. A couple of years ago when I was still finacially stable I wouldn’t have consider them datable….

Now…… They look down on me….??

POINT IS… If your going to make a move on a teller… consider them judgin you from what they are seeing on their screen….

Can’t wait for this “chapter” of my life to be over….
“It’s always darkest before the dawn”….??
Well..,, I’m blind… can I atleast get a match..??

GOD I NEED A JOB…….!!

112 Greg Jahnke March 29, 2011 at 9:24 am

I met my wife in her living room. I was out with some buddies one night and one of them was friends with her room mate. She came home from work and there we were. She worked at a group home at the time (troubled teenage girls…my wife is a brave woman) and had just had a terrible day at work. She was not real thrilled to come home and find a house full of people, but she was absolutely beautiful.

That ended up costing me a friend. I did not know it, but the buddy who took us over there had been “working on” her for about a year and had never gotten anywhere. He still hates me for that.

113 Levi March 29, 2011 at 11:38 am

I met my wife while I was working in a bowling center. She would always come in with her mom or her friends and I started talking to her. She had a boyfriend at first so I was just her friend. After a year and a half of friendship we started dating, two months later we were engaged, seven months after that we were married.

114 Anon March 29, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Kind of in line with charities and church, GO TO RALLIES! There was a protest due to our city cutting funding for the battered women’s shelter, I was there because my mom had received help from that same shelter years before and I wanted to show support. My future wife also happened to be there ;) Protests are a great way of finding someone with similar values and you could get double points with the ladies for showing you care about women’s issues.

115 The Texian March 29, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Met my first wife via a mutual friend.

Second wife and I “met” via MySpace. At that time (meeting “online) we were both in relationships found via more typical means (we both were unmarried but attached). We were mutually “friends” with someone, and began communicating online.

For me, in that period of time, I recognized her as someone attractive physically, and it was she was easy to communicate with, but I had no intentions or desires to take it to any other level, via respect for the both of our relationships. She had about the same mentality.

We both got out of those relationships within about a month of each other, and later decided to meet for a beer. The rest is history. We have been together since 2005, and married since 2008.

The advice I give my son (16 years old) is to never walk away from an opportunity to communicate with, and get to know (even if it is only acquaintance-wise) most anyone who you find the least bit interesting, and is not involved in something illegal or immoral. Male or female. I spent lots of time in coffee shops, gun ranges, blues bars, restaurants, work, and most any place I went talking to and with women when i was single. I didn’t hit it off with all of them, I didn’t get but about half the dates I asked for, and not every date did I want a repeat of. But, I also had some neat short term relationships and dates, made some cool friends, went a lot of places, and met my future wife.

116 JG March 29, 2011 at 3:47 pm

I met my wife online. We had a long distance relationship for 8 years through part of high school and all of college. We just got married last July.

117 Tara March 29, 2011 at 7:15 pm

I met my spouse at work. I liked being able to observe him over a long period of time in a neutral (non-romantic) environment so I could accurately assess his character and personality. We’ve been together for 10 years now and very happy.

As for dogs, get a cute fluffy dog – they are chick magnets!

118 EJ March 29, 2011 at 9:00 pm

We met at a restaurant, she was the chief Needless to say its been 19,710 good meals (or 18 years) ever since. In all seriousness we met one night when she came off duty. I didn’t know she worked there, I figured she was another customer like me and wanted conversation. She asked if the seat was taken, sat down, started talking to me, and we hit it off. So far its been a good match.

119 Refe March 30, 2011 at 12:29 pm

I met the woman I have been seeing in a roller derby league. I was new and town and looking for something to do when I was asked if I wanted to be a referee. I dind’t have anything else to do…and the woman asking was attractive, so I agreed. It was a learning experience! Those girls can be wild! Well safe to say once I settled down with one of them I had to quit doing derby because there were too many woman and she did not enjoy any other woman giving me attention. I enjoyed my time and recommend anyone else to do it…but be careful because 30 women to 2-3 guys sounds great but the drama does tend to follow!

120 Robbie March 30, 2011 at 3:12 pm

A few notes on “those social cues” that could inform one to continue on with a conversation with a relative stranger:

It is fairly obvious within the first 15-30 seconds of communicating with a stranger if she wants to continue the conversation or not. If she is pretty non-responsive and is using closed off body language (arms crossed, no direct eye contact, facing away, legs crossed opposite of you if you are on her side and are sitting), and you cannot pick up a trace of enthusiasm in her voice, welcoming the conversation, it’s probably best you move on.

THAT’S TOTALLY FINE!

What did you lose? All you did was further build up your confidence in APPROACHING a woman, which is truly the hardest part. Just b/c she wasn’t chatty, doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you. It could be a number of circumstances completely beyond your control, and the saying really is true: “There’s always plenty of fish in the sea.” So keep trying to approach women at these locations, and begin to hone your conversation skills with the opposite sex, further prepping you for a really great lady out there!

Remember to keep your conversation relevant to the moment and be enthusiastic. If you’re at a book store, ask what she typically enjoys reading (or some other book related thing), not “do you come here often?” (just sounds creepy right from the get-go) If you’re at a shop of some kind, ask her for a recommendation on something, and endear yourself to her in the process. “I’m really terrible with stuff like this sometimes, do you think this shirt works with these pants?” (Be well-dressed, but sometimes women like to help a guy out with fashion advice…besides, the vast majority of them know more than the average guy, so they really are worthy to consult!) Or, “what do you think of these [random food item in the display at a coffee shop].”

After you open it with a question that is relevant to the moment, validate yourself somehow, by connecting yourself to the area, or event, or place of work nearby, or something, that takes the attention away from you being a complete stranger, but someone actively involved in the community in some way. This often opens further doors of conversation… BUT

After you connect yourself, 15-30 seconds surly have passed, and you should judge her body language. If you’re getting positive feedback, mention when you’ll be there again or at another event or whatever it is, and suggest how you would enjoy talking to her again, maybe even ask for her number, or ask if she wants to talk again soon. You should definitely show your interest in future conversations.

If you’re getting a “no,” even a polite “no,” be polite and ease your way out with a casual, “well thanks” or “see you later!”

Boom, no matter what, you’re succeeding in some way!

121 Juan March 30, 2011 at 5:24 pm

My wife and I met through a church internship. She noticed me years before I noticed her, but in the end I snagged her up!

122 michael c March 30, 2011 at 9:30 pm

In our culture, the time and place to find someone’s future mate is in college. That’s just the way the culture is set up now. If you don’t find someone then, well, good luck. Try the above. I guess. But, contrary to the stupidities perpetuated today, the time to get married is when one is young and relatively unformed. We are actually less selfish when we are young–we have not yet developed the self-oriented habits that we eventually will form as we age. Thus, as we get older, we become highly particularized individuals, and hence, less compatible and less marriageable. I am forty-six, never been married, and am finding the dating scene to purely Darwinian.

123 Chrissie March 31, 2011 at 2:11 am

I first met my husband in our analytical chemistry lab class 13 years ago. :-)

124 Benjamin Herrin March 31, 2011 at 8:44 am

I met my wife ballroom dancing. I moved back to Johnson City to help out with my elderly parents. I’d been dancing in and around D.C. but found almost nothing locally until a studio opened in nearby Kingsport. I started there and kept casting around for a partner until I met Gail. Women of all ages love a man who can dance, I tell you what.

125 Lou March 31, 2011 at 5:05 pm

This works really well. Craigslist activity partners listing for co-ed non competitive singles tennis. Almost all of your responses will be women. If they play tennis, they will be fit. You can specify your age and get responses for a similar age range. And even though this isn’t looking for romantic partners, it is a date that could lead to other dates. The lady will be all worked up. If you plan the timing right you could go get a bite to eat together after, now that’s a date. I have a friend who does this, and he does very well, and he is not very attractive.

126 Steve O April 1, 2011 at 7:27 am

Offer to babysit for a friend/relative with a baby or toddler, preferably a child young enough to push in a stroller. Dress nice. Then head to the most populated park in your area. The women will flock in droves. Now this is important….you must know how to feed and change this child! Although, some of the women will gladly offer to do these tasks for you, refuse. When they hear you are helping out your brother or sister by babysitting and how much you love kids they will be eager to see you again.

127 MOJTABA April 1, 2011 at 8:15 am

SALAMJOM

128 Caleb April 2, 2011 at 12:13 am

I met my girlfriend my sophomore year in high school, and we now both go to college together. Getting together so young has led to its fair share of problems, but I wouldn’t change a thing. There is one important lesson I’ve learned from my relationship though: BE YOURSELF. I’ve had relationships in the past where I’d presented myself as a certain way, and it just leads to you, her, or both of you not being happy. Also, women love confidence, and it’s much harder to have that when you’re not in your comfort zone.

129 Katie V April 3, 2011 at 3:43 am

Please, oh Please, do not try to ask out a lady while she is at the gym! Women who like to stay fit aren’t always trying to stay fit to be more attractive to the opposite sex. Sometimes they just feel like going for a run where they don’t have to worry about being hit by a car or abducted. The last thing they want to deal with is being stared at and asked out. Following them to the parking lot does not improve your chances either.

If you absolutely have to meet said lady, proceed with caution and make sure that she is into you before making a move. A good ice breaker would be to buy her a smoothie, cup of coffee or even just a bottle of water at the gym’s coffee bar, but have the barista give it to her. You will make her smile, let her know that you care, and create mystery all in one move while avoiding the creep category.

130 Emily April 3, 2011 at 11:41 pm

I met my fiance at an atheist meetup…at a bar. Just a thought for you non-religious folks out there. As an aside, these groups can be found all over the country- even deep in the bible belt.

131 DrSara April 6, 2011 at 11:51 am

Dancing! You forgot dancing! Women love to dance but in our modern American culture, men don’t. So there are always a bunch more women who are totally into their bodies and comfortable with a close embrace sitting out at dances. Sure you’ll feel dumb and awkward for a couple of classes, but if you’ve got the cojones to push past that little bit of discomfort then…woo hoo…a whole world of possibilities will open up for you…not to mention that you will have cultivated an essential skill for suave executive entry into the most sophisticated of social circles later on, circles that have advanced careers since time immemorial. Knowing how to mix a dry martini and knowing how to dance are just two of the most fundamental skills for being a well rounded gentleman!

132 Matthew April 7, 2011 at 10:51 pm

I met my wife at a church retreat. We traded emails for the better part of a year. (forwards and stuff. I kindly replied “thanks I have seen that one”

I then went to lunch with her and a female friend of hers. I was excited about have lunch with two young ladies. My roommate crashed the lunch plans. I flirted with my now wife and played footsy. (i not sure why I did it.) We started talking more seriously after that meal together.

We have been together 12 years and married for 10.

133 Jia Jun April 10, 2011 at 10:48 pm

I’m still single~~ hahaha~~
What about shy person? :p

134 Drew Scott April 11, 2011 at 6:05 pm

I met my soul mate online, it was on a personal interest forum, her profile had some photos of her that I loved so I sent her a message saying a quick hello, we began talking to each other and after a while we decided to meet up, we have been together since.

135 joey April 11, 2011 at 6:22 pm

Currently not in an actual relationship with anyone, however these are my spots in the past…
School – i know many of you are out of school, but for those that aren’t, your class, the library, rec center, even places just off campus such as a “main street.”
The gym – as mentioned in the post, this can be tricky. However I did meet a girl once, after catching each others eye over about 2-3 weeks I made a move. Things didn’t quite work out but were good friends.
Work – My first few years at university I worked at a retail store in the mall that had a high turnover of girls, which was nice because when one didn’t work out there was always more coming in.
Bars and clubs have never resulted in the “relationship” type of girl that i prefer, but its always a fun time if the opportunity arises.
Meeting girl in class is most likely my favorite. There is always a topic to bring up, and if you take it slow you can learn about the girl and her interests without that forced awkwardness. From there its easy to decide if you want to ask this girl out and you already have a base to build a strong first date.

136 Where find women April 13, 2011 at 9:46 pm

Nice website and great information. There is a lot of mis information on where can I find women, so its always satisfying to find info that is spot on.

137 Marcus April 15, 2011 at 6:06 am

Church is where I met my girlfriend more than 3 years ago. We’ve been dating for more than 2 years now and my life will never be the same.

I plan on marrying this girl in due time. I couldn’t picture myself with anyone else, and I’ve never met a person more beautiful than her. I’ll never know what made God think I deserved someone like her, but I’m sure glad He put her in my life.

138 Rich April 16, 2011 at 2:24 pm

We met 19 years ago at a party that neither of us wanted to go to, but friends begged us go to. So yes, you can find your other half somewhere you would normally never set foot like a goth club…

139 Will April 16, 2011 at 5:35 pm

Slightly off-topic,
but I agree with @Robbie’s advice.

70% of all women a guy meets will not be interested in a relationship.
95%+ of all women a guy meets will not even be a good match for him.

That’s just people. There doesn’t have to be any implied judgment.
And ideally, you want women to say “No”; that’s their job.
-Because when they finally do say “Yes”, the chances are higher that it will be with someone she really connects with.

It’s GREAT for women to be hard-to-get in general but less-hard-to-get for the specific guy they hit it off with.

With all our testosterone, someone’s got to bring a little sanity to the table.

140 Adam April 17, 2011 at 10:28 pm

The only thing I can think of whenever I see this article is how my grandparents met at a bowling alley, through their company bowling leagues, and how my grandmother always said “You meet the nicest young men at bowling alleys.”

141 Danielle April 26, 2011 at 12:11 am

I met my fiancee at a chemical engineering club meeting. Nerds can find love, too.

142 Heyseed September 25, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Sorry, I met my wife in a saloon. In the rural community where I lived, that was one of the few places single people congregated.
When I got out of college and went home to the farm to go into business with my dad, I entered a social environment where most of the people around me were coupled up, and where the single men in my age range outnumbered single women.
Getting involved in agricultural organizations, community projects and political causes got me acquainted with married men and women, but no single women. There were single women in the church I attended, but they were either under age, or relatives of mine, often both. I have always had a dog, but since he ran loose around the farm, there was no need for me to take him out for walks.
And since the internet didn’t exist thirty years ago, I started hanging out in saloons.

143 ML October 12, 2012 at 5:14 am

I met my wife while handling a suspicious incident at a store (I was a police officer, she worked for the store). We eventually got married. Of course eight years later when I was deeply in love with her she divorced me. But oh wait, you were just asking where I met her, not how she left me :)

144 Will Morrison October 15, 2012 at 5:56 am

I never thought of using the bank! Great post.

145 Bobby January 27, 2013 at 2:23 pm

i am a straight man that was married at one time, and i was a very caring and loving husband until she cheated on me. now going out is the very hard part for me, since i seem to meet all the very nasty ones instead of just a good one for me. there are just too many low life loser women out there now than ever before, which seems to be the problem. where on earth are the good ones today?

146 jeremy February 24, 2013 at 6:54 pm

I love book stores to meet women, especially if they have coffee shops but women are every where…most men need to focus on learning what to do before they ever think of where to do it. Once you get the what, you can meet women every where….

147 FeatherBlade March 25, 2013 at 10:58 pm

Small word of advice for those using dogs to meet women: you had best make sure that your dog is ~well-mannered~. There is nothing that says “I am a weak and out-of-control man who will not be a good leader” like than an ill-mannered and undisciplined dog.

148 TheAbsoluteTruth May 14, 2013 at 8:20 pm

it is very hard to meet a good woman anywhere nowadays, especially in a bar which would be one of the worse places anyway. women are much nastier to talk too these days, and they will curse at us when many of us guys will try to start a conversation with the one that we would really like to meet. since many women today are like this, they are obviously not worth meeting at all to begin with.

149 Guinevere May 15, 2013 at 11:17 pm

As a woman who has various city and country based hobbies, what I can say is – go socialize as much as you can in places and at events that you are interested in and care about. You will have more stuff to actually strike up a conversation about and not accidentally seem a creep. For example: I am an amateur photographer, so I often can be found at vintage rallies or open air museums; I run, so perhaps – the finish line of the local 10 mile charity run (nothing like the feeling of achievement to make you like everyone you see!)?

I agree about bookstores, but a little caveat: nothing worse than the guy who tries to ask you about the book you’re reading and obviously has no idea of the author or the topic/genre, so conversation dies after two lines! Awkward. Saying that, some of the best relationships I’ve had have started off because of a shared preference for a window spot in the bookstore café :)

150 Tyler May 16, 2013 at 9:57 am

+1 to the previously mentioned dance classes. You usually rotate partners every so often, so you get to meet all the ladies. They’re usually really cheap, too, if not free. My school’s dance club (which I’m president of) is open to the public, and we sometimes get a couple people who heard about us from a friend. And on top of that, you learn how to dance, which can be applied to basically any dating scenario. Girls love a guy who can dance.

As for specific dances, as mentioned above, it’s probably best to stick with ballroom (waltz, tango, etc.), latin (salsa, cha cha, etc.), or swing (east/west coast, charleston). I’d suggest learning one of each; for example, you could learn nightclub two-step for slow songs, salsa for really upbeat music (and if you want to get a bit closer to that one girl), and west coast swing for anything else. If you’re lucky, you might find a place that offers multiple dances in one class. My dance club does one or two dances per term.

151 MS June 19, 2013 at 8:19 am

I met my wife in church 30 years ago. It’s just like the Kenny Chesney song – she had me from hello…

My heart fluttered the first time I spoke to her and now it flutters more than ever after 25 years of marriage.

152 Kerry June 19, 2013 at 6:42 pm

The perfect wing-man is a wing-woman. I think the easiest way to meet women is to make friends with one in a non romantic way. From here it becomes much easier to meet other woman, especially because to another woman’s eyes you now have a credible witness to the fact your a good sort.

153 Della June 22, 2013 at 1:41 am

I would also say, where ever you meet a woman, talk to and be NICE to everyone while in her company. Nothing makes a woman less interested in a man who acts like a jerk to less-attractive women, wait persons, or disabled/elderly folk. Sometimes less-attractive women have gorgeous sisters-or you can also come to find that her beauty is on the inside! Oh, I met my husband while I was dating his room mate. He was just NICE; good manners, quiet, looked me in the eyes when we spoke, etc., whereas the other guy was always trying to be a wild man and show off how ‘manly’ he was. My husband and I hit it off and we’ve been married nearly 20 years.

154 Anne June 22, 2013 at 4:47 am

My ex-husband literally showed up at my door step. He was accompanying a young man who had come to visit me. I was not expecting the visit and had absolutely no interest in the young man who came by my family’s home. I also had no interest in his friend (my would-be husband). Over the course of two years, during which time he called me countless times, would show up at parties and social events where he knew I would be with my family, and once again showing up at my door step bearing a dozen roses and a box of candy (after almost one year of not having kept in touch because he had finally realized that I wasn’t interested in him), we went out on one date, he started to grow on me, I grew to love him, and we got married. Over the course of the marriage I discovered that we had little in common and that he wasn’t the person that was right for me, so I divorced. He wasn’t a take-charge person, he wasn’t assertive, and he preferred that I take care of problems when they arose, rather than he doing so. I can’t stand being “mother” to a husband or a boyfriend, so that was a major turn-off to me and over time it was too much to continue bearing. However, overall, he was a good guy – at least what I call benign, but that is not enough to keep a relationship going.

155 Nikki June 23, 2013 at 8:38 am

I met my husband at a bar. My best friend called me around 10 PM saying she was hosting a rowdy party of frat boys and to come “rescue” her. I totally got the wrong idea, not being fond of frat boys, and threw myself together to pick her up, only to find that she expected me to JOIN her – handing me someone’s shirt to “protect” and giving me the command NOT to let the birthday boy buy any drinks. My ex boyfriend was sitting nearby with his new gf, and at the time he was still smarting over my ending things two years earlier, so it was even more awkward. I’m a bit of an introvert, and under the scrutiny of the ex, I figured I’d just “fake it” and pretend this rowdy hoard of 20 frat boys were my friends. I wound up wrestling with the birthday boy when he tried to buy drinks. I grabbed his arm and he looked at me in surprise, to which I just grinned at him, and he kind of froze in place with a silly smile on his face. I knew the bartender pretty well (college) and told him not to let my new friend buy any more drinks. That night we walked back to my friends place and one of the other guys started peppering me with questions. I eventually went home, only to find out a few months later that Josh, the birthday boy, had been asking about me frequently, and his friend had been questioning me because he realized his friend liked me, and hadn’t dated anyone in years.

Long story short(er), two months later I ran into Josh again, in another city, and he persisted in trying to get me to go out with him. I eventually did, only to find that he was legitimately the kindest, most thoughtful, strong, considerate man, with the most integrity, that I’d ever met. That was five years ago now. :)

156 Brian July 30, 2013 at 11:43 pm

I met my wonderful wife at a soccer game we were both attending. She and her friend were new to the area and it was their first time at the stadium so I offered to show them around and hung out with them before and after the match. We kept in touch and a little while later, boom, we’re married.

157 Ben G August 10, 2013 at 2:47 pm

I met my wife when we were both 6. Our famililes just happened to be in the same place at the same time and hit it off. Over the next several years, she became my younger sister’s best friend. Then they moved but the families kept in touch. At 12-13, I had a crush on her but kept it to myself. Fast forward 8-9 years and I surprised her at her college to take her to the Valentine’s Day banquet. That was our first offical date. We were engaged the next month (March) and married that May. She’s by best friend ever, the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to me. We have a beautiful 17 month old daughter and a son due on Thanksgiving.

Sometimes we get so focused on what’s “out there” that we completely miss the jewel at our fingertips.

158 Michelle November 27, 2013 at 12:27 am

Don’t knock the bank! That’s how my parents met. She agreed to go out with him despite his balance, and they were married six months later. Still going strong and with a considerably healthier account 37 years later.

159 zali December 7, 2013 at 9:26 pm

some of the above stories are so beautiful, even brought tears to my eyes. Divorced for 2 years, looking for that special person, so hard to find. But maybe I shouldn’t be looking, sometimes it seems they just fall from the sky. Thank you all (I met my ex in a blind date…)

160 BUCK OFAMA December 8, 2013 at 1:57 am

If you clowns think you need a fvcking dog to get a broad, you’re fvcking CLUELESS.

161 Tonny January 3, 2014 at 12:52 am

I may agree to all the ways except for one, IN CHURCH! I absolutely disagree on spiritual grounds. If you decide to meet her at church, it means you are turning God’s temple into a dating ground, actually you are likely to focus your attention to her while at church and not God. One of the consequences is what happened to Eli’s two sons in the bible: read 1Sam 2.

162 Ken March 18, 2014 at 8:52 pm

Halloween parties. Sometimes. However
when I first met my wife-to-be she was dressed as Vampire and I as a Wizard.
We had no idea what we we each looked like but the conversation was great. When we met for coffee the next day we were both pleased with each others appearance. However the marriage turned out to be a disaster some years later. I should have taken the hint from her Halloween persona. Later I had a very romantic relationship with a woman I met in a youth hostel in Greece – youth hostels are great place to meet young women. However, later at home, my cat became terrified every time she saw her so it took the hint and said goodbye..
great post!

When my cat became frightened around the next woman I dated (who I’d met in a youth hostel), I took the hint and broke off the relation ship.

163 Robin S March 28, 2014 at 3:43 pm

Find a local dance club and go! I never understand why guys don’t dance anymore. It’s the one acceptable time to put your hands on a woman you’ve just met. Seriously, think about it. There’s never a shortage of partners and even if you don’t see any women you’d want to date at least you are cultivating skills. You never know when your knowledge of said groups and the ability to dance will come in handy. Guys, just go to dances. We’re there hoping some guys our age show up so we have don’t always have to dance with the senior citizens.

164 Robin S March 28, 2014 at 3:47 pm

I guess I should clarify that by “dance club” I mean groups that get together for “old timey” dancing. Not the bump and grind clubs. You can find them on MeetUp or searching for period groups like Jane Austen/Victorian appreciation societies, square dance, contra dance groups, and the like. The dress code is relaxed for most groups and dance sessions. They usually put on a more formal dance a few times a year in which people dress up or wear period clothing.

165 Brady Jay March 28, 2014 at 4:25 pm

I met a great girlfriend at a crappy party. It was one of those “bring a friend” party, but when we arrived, it was everybody else’s friends, and barely anybody knew the host. (who was horribly self-centered and pushy) A couple of cute girls were wandering outside, and I yelled at them to come in. (That works with MY personality) We all left together 5 minutes later and went somewhere else. I ended up inviting them to a bonfire the following weekend, and I hit it off with my future girlfriend.

I liked that relationship because we didn’t have a mutual friend to press us about news of the progressing relationship. We keep in touch on Facebook, but she is now happily married.

166 Shawna Elise March 28, 2014 at 5:53 pm

If you have any manly projects that you might need sewing supplies for (canvas, good scissors, leather, etc) a fabric store is a GREAT place to meet women. They are almost always 90% women, and since the advent of Pinterest, they are usually teaming with women in their 20′s and 30′s. Nice friendly gals who want to talk to you about making stuff. Trust me. Plus, if some good looking guy walks into a fabric store full of women, they will quickly have the attention of almost every woman there.

167 Shh March 28, 2014 at 6:11 pm

Most of these are good ideas for meeting women. However, might I suggest that you make sure she’s not wearing a wedding band? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone to a coffee shop looking for a little quiet time, only to be unwillingly engaged in a conversation. Sometimes it takes quite a bit of obvious disinterest for the message to get across… and I wear both my wedding and engagement rings. So, guys, make sure she’s not married (and pay attention to those “I want to be alone” vibes, too).

168 Kristoffer Peterson March 28, 2014 at 6:17 pm

My wife and I met in high school at restaurant we both worked in. She was a sophmore from the a really nice part of town that went to the fairly wealthy school and I was a senior from a bad neigborhood that went to a pretty troubled school. So the ingredients for a great love story were there imediately. We dated for a few months but this was back in 2001 and like alot of young men that year I enlisted in the Marine Corps as soon as I graduated. I didn’t even stay ling enough to walk in the graduation cerimony. So, I left to go war, and she, being from the other side of the country originally, moved back to her home town after she graduated 2 years later. We lost contact for quite a few years. I did my time and came home. We reconnected online while she was still living in her home town and I was getting back on my feet after recovering from a divorce, unemployment, and alcoholism. We maintained a long distance relationship for 6 months before she decided to move back to the city where we had met to be with me for good. We’ve now been married two years and we have a ten month old son.

169 Black_star March 28, 2014 at 6:26 pm

I have had 6 serious relationship, first one when i was about 15-16yo. They have all lasted about a year, couple about 2 – 3 years. None of my gf’s was met in a bar, but online, hobbies, through friends. So yes! There’s a lot of places to meet great and interesting people.

170 Matthew March 28, 2014 at 11:08 pm

I met my girlfriend at the airport. I saw her standing at the gate and thought “I’m going to sit next to her.” Flying Southwest let me pick my seat. Over the next 5 hours, traveling from Chicago to Seattle, we talked and laughed.
Story gets more complicated and unintentionally movie-like, but we’re just talking about where we met.

171 Eli March 28, 2014 at 11:16 pm

I met my fianceé on a film set. Before I switched my major I was studying film, and during what would have been my sophomore year a friend of mine was shooting a personal project (I think to this day the postproduction remains unfinished), so I ended up being a crew member. I was a grip, and she did make-up for the actors. One day she basically started chatting me up about how funny I was on Facebook, but the conversation didn’t last very long (I’m a very socially awkward person). Nonetheless we started talking more and more, and hanging out during downtime on set. No more than a few weeks later we were officially dating. I asked her to marry me last September, and holy CRAP have those months flown by.

172 Fernando March 29, 2014 at 12:20 am

Hey guys.
Nice article and great tips!
This is my first ever comment here and I have onde more place to add, if you don’t mind.
The bus.
Thats great! I take the bus every day to work and a while ago it came to me to try and talk to girls on them… gotta tell you, Lady Luck smiled at me.
Recently I feel like I lost my mojo with that, but still working to get it back.
If you have any suggestions, I’m all ears.
Also, let me ask – Women at the bank, gym and work seem all kinda arrogant/indifferent when it comes to flirting, is it just me or it’s something related to those places or whatever?

173 MisterRon March 29, 2014 at 1:15 am

I met my wife at a fencing club. She didn’t even fence, she was just hanging out with another guy who did. No, I didn’t steal her, but I more or less caught the rebound. I was not really looking for a relationship, and neither was she after she broke up with the other fencer. Not actually looking made it easier for us to find each other. We were just friends for a while, then the relationship changed. We’ve been married for 32 years now.

174 Chris March 29, 2014 at 1:19 pm

I’m very surprised the article didn’t advocate getting involved in something! Sailing, local sports, community events, charity, etc. You’ll make a life for yourself, become passionate about something, organized, and you won’t be by yourself and distracted by the thought of being single and alone. Interacting with people = meeting people!

175 Jason Reeser March 30, 2014 at 5:35 pm

I met my wife in the worklplace, a grocery store. We still both remember the moment we met, over 25 years ago. We worked together for ten months before I ever asked her out. By then we were good friends, and dating seemed natural.

176 Trent April 11, 2014 at 7:22 am

I met my wife at a neighborhood picnic my parents were hosting; at the time she was just knees and elbows. I liked her in a “she’s a good kid” kind of way, and always made a point to say a kind word, but never thought more of it.

The thing about family events though, is you tend to be yourself (the good and the bad). Unbeknownst to me, she had a bit of an “older boy next door” crush going on, and when I came back from college and the military, we started dating. So just get out, be yourself, be social, and be kind to everyone, because you never know!

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