4 Suggestions for More Memorable Dates

by A Manly Guest Contributor on January 6, 2011 · 51 comments

in Dating, Marriage, Relationships & Family

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Kyle J. Byard.

When I was in elementary school I had to do an essay on part of my family history. My father suggested I interview my grandfather and have him tell me of how he met and eventually married my grandmother. I remember thinking it was a little bit silly that one of the dates my grandparents went on was to see a 3D movie. Even as a kid I remember thinking that a 3D movie wasn’t particularly romantic, but now that I’ve gotten older, dated, and gotten married, I’ve come to realize that my grandfather was actually on to something.

It seems to me that a lot of men these days believe dates fall into one of three categories:

1. Dinner

2. A movie

3. Dinner and a movie

Boring!

Put yourself in the shoes of the girl who’s agreed to go out with you. Even if she likes you she’s taking a chance by going out with you. The modern world is a busy place with a lot of things to occupy our time. A date needs to be memorable in order to set you apart from other potential suitors and frankly you’re not going to stand out going with the old dinner and a movie routine.

So I’ve decided to list a few suggestions that will help you plan a date that will stick with a girl long after it’s over. Even if the relationship doesn’t end up working out there’s still some gratification that the dates you took her on may very well become the standard by which she judges any dates she goes on in the future.

Suggestion #1: Your First Date Is the “Conversation Date”

In junior high “going out” meant that you claimed to be somebody’s “boyfriend” (it usually helped if the girl in question agreed to be your “girlfriend”). You didn’t even have to talk to the girl to be considered “a couple.” Well it’s time to man up!

No matter how well you think you know a person there is always more to learn about them. Therefore the first date should be memorable and fun but should also be conducive to conversation. That means no movies. There’s no way to talk during a movie without annoying a bunch of people who shelled out ten bucks for a ticket—not something that you want to do.

I know you’re thinking, “Well that’s fine, I’ll just take her out to dinner,” but that might not be the best option either. Dinner can be problematic for several reasons. Some women tend to be a little bit self-conscious about their dining habits (including the foods they order and the way they eat). In many ways, eating is a more intimate activity than we often give it credit for. Also, the gentleman in training may forget to slow his pace when it comes to shoveling down whatever succulent slab of meat he decided to order enough to actually have a conversation with the living, breathing human being across the table from him.

Besides, who wants to spend the rest of the night wondering if they have asparagus stuck in their teeth?

Instead of centering on watching each other chew, a good first date will provide plenty of opportunities for interaction as well as cater to the common interests of you and your date.

This brings me to my second suggestion.

Suggestion #2: Do Things That She’s Interested In

Tennis anyone?

This is especially nice on the first date because it shows you’ve taken the time to find out a little bit about her interests, but it’s equally important on subsequent dates as well.

As an example, my wife likes to play tennis. She used to play for her high school tennis team, but when she came to college she didn’t have much time to play anymore. It was a perfect date opportunity because it was something she enjoyed doing but didn’t get to do very much because she had no one to play with. It didn’t even matter that I’m a terrible tennis player—in fact she seemed to enjoy making me run all over the court. I was of course a good sport about it, and it ended up being highly enjoyable for both of us.

If you don’t know a girl too well, her blog or Facebook page could be excellent sources of information. Read her blog and look through her favorites to see what sort of things she likes doing. I wouldn’t suggest making your date feel like you are Facebook stalking her, but if she asks where you came up with the idea for the date it’s best to be honest and say something along the lines of,  “I saw on your blog that you’re interested in (insert name of activity here),” and leave it at that.

Later in the relationship you will likely find common interests, and those will be perfect platforms for dates that you will both be able to enjoy as you grow closer together.

You can never, never go wrong with a weenie roast. But make sure you don't spend too much time looking into each other's eyes!

Suggestion #3: Do Something Unique or Novel

Grandpa was a smooth operator.

This is where my little anecdote about my grandparents and the 3D movie comes in (I know you were wondering when I was going to tie that in). While 3D seems to be the newest scheme to suck ridiculous amounts of money out of moviegoers, back in the 1950’s it was a rather novel concept. My grandpa gets mad points for doing something a little bit “out there.”

Not only will unique and novel dates give you easy fodder for making conversation, but the excitement they generate will bond you together.

Take a drawing or cooking class. Go kayaking. Play some Frisbee golf. Go see an interesting art exhibit or visit a museum.

The idea is to get out and actually do something. Most men have the idea of the passive date ingrained in their heads, but an active date will always be much more memorable.

Suggestion #4: Get Cooking

They say the key to a man’s heart is his stomach; well the same is true for women, too.

Remember, cooking is manly. If you want to have a dinner date then skip the restaurant and save a little money (but don’t be cheap!) and whip up something amazing in the kitchen.

If you want to really surprise her the next time she invites you over, show up with a box of cooking supplies, commandeer her kitchen, and impress her with your culinary prowess. Just don’t leave a mess! (It’s important that you be invited over for this to work because you don’t want to show up without giving her ample time to tidy up; she’ll just be annoyed, not impressed.)

Don’t know how to cook? Well start learning! Learning new skills is manly. If you have some patience and you know how to read then cooking shouldn’t give you too much trouble. My wife and I like to check the website “allrecipes.com” for ideas. Matt Moore always offers some good suggestions here on AoM. Or you could also just download the Art of Manliness Man Cookbook and whip her up something manly and delicious.

I hope my suggestions have given you some ideas in terms of how to make dates a little more memorable. What are your suggestions for interesting dates?

{ 51 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Nick January 6, 2011 at 10:45 pm

Cooking for your lady is the best! I’ve made various types of pasta, a veggie stew, and even a breakfast egg/potato/sausage scramble on different dates with the same person. (She’s crazy about me!) Have a bottle of wine and a dessert ready, and you’re setting yourself up for success. Cooking also has the built-in benefit of great conversation opportunities while she’s watching and/or helping you.

2 TimRC January 6, 2011 at 10:48 pm

Thanks! I agree very important on the first date not to see a movie!!! In fact i have been dating a girl for 3 and 1/2 months and have not yet saw a movie with her! We talk, walk, drink, paint, build, ride, drive, go places do things…and it has been amazing!

Thanks for the article!

3 Ricky Cadden January 6, 2011 at 11:10 pm

Great post! When I was dating, I always made Putt-Putt my first date location, for a few reasons:

1. It gives you plenty of time to talk
2. Everyone sucks at Putt-Putt (this means you’re both going to look goofy, which can help to break any awkward barriers or inhibitions.
3. It’s pretty cheap

I also never, ever ate on the first date. I personally find eating with someone to be quite awkward, especially if it’s just the two of you. Sure, several dates ended quite awkwardly, with the girl expecting dinner and me dropping her back off at home, but I figured, it either intrigued her, or turned her off. If it turned her off, she probably wasn’t for me anyways (my wife later revealed that she thought it was weird, but intriguing, so I guess it worked).

4 Jason January 7, 2011 at 12:42 am

Awesome! Thanks! I just met a lovely young lady and have been racking my brain on an impressive SECOND date with her as well as subsequent dates (swing dancing is on the books)! The first was casual cocktails at a nice quiet little pub, since she was feeling ill and it was kind of a late date. She showed despite being ill! Date #2, that jazz and blues club she keeps raving about!

5 LibraryDeskGraffiti January 7, 2011 at 2:07 am

NEVER, EVER dinner or a movie!!!!

Movies are for people who don’t want to or aren’t able to talk to each other the whole night. Dinner is completely anhedonic and stale.

Thumbs up on the “active” date suggestion. Get her out of her comfort zone, chasing, a little awkward and the work is done for you. Just don’t say dumb stuff and ruin it!

6 Dan January 7, 2011 at 5:41 am

Finally! I thought I was alone, I’ve always hated the idea of a movie as a date, though I figured it wasn’t so bad if followed by dinner, at least you can discuss it then, but even so, it’s a “default,” no imagination date. I prefer to go for a walk through a park or something, which is also cliche but gives ample time to converse while showing that you appreciate simple things in life. My girlfriend and I are going to an aquarium tomorrow :)

7 Sam January 7, 2011 at 5:53 am

I’m from a country in Southeast Asia and shopping malls are a favorite destination for dates (and it doesn’t help that new ones are built once a year). I suspect because our country is tropical, shopping malls are a no-brainer since it has free air-conditioning. But I really hate going to a mall for a date. The rage nowadays is to build malls for tenants like Burberry, Swarovski, Louis Vuitton, basically things that normal people can’t afford and are just there to show off to foreigners (read: Europeans, Americans and oil-rich Arabs). So it’s just basically window shopping and coffee at Starbucks or Gloria Jean’s. It makes my date meaningless. Do you have any other ideas besides malls for my date situation? Oh btw pubs are nonexistent in my country, the Islamic society here frowns upon them. Thanks :)

8 Liverpoolpaddy January 7, 2011 at 8:01 am

Go to a zoo!

You will always share that something in common. I used to work in a safari park and I think that something a little “out there” will make you eternally memorable.

9 Adventure-Some Matthew January 7, 2011 at 8:30 am

I’ve always been a fan of picnics. They sort of combine #3 & #4. I cook, pack everything up (just use tupperware and a cooler), and have a location picked out. Favorite spots are the local park, the lake shore, or the cleared living room floor when the weather is bad.

10 Eric January 7, 2011 at 9:56 am

While we weren’t big on Dinner & Movie dates 15 years ago when we started dating, nowadays they are one of mine and my wife’s favorites for date night. After a week of work and shuttling kids around and making sure homework gets done and food prep and cleaning… it’s a big deal to go have somebody make a nice meal for you and not have to do the clean up afterwards, and then enjoy an entire show with no interruptions. We’ll certainly do other stuff too, especially live music events, but I don’t think either one of us wouold ever turn up our nose at dinner and a movie.

And unlike some here, I think dinner is a great way to spend time with somebody and get to about them, depending on the dining establishment. In my single days, one of the things I always liked about dinner dates is that it was one of the few things could do where you sat facing eachother for an extended period of time. Museums, movies, music concerts, walks in the park, sporting events, just about anything else you do… your attention is focused away from eachother, you are both enjoying a shared experience together, but the experience is external. On a dinner date, at least until the food arrives, your attention is usually squarely on the other person, (and vice versa) so the enjoyment, if there is any to be had, is more personal and revealing.

11 Kevin January 7, 2011 at 10:47 am

I think the key here is “memorable” dates, with the goal for her remember the date, then associate it with you. Most women have seen enough movies that they’re not going to think anything’s special when you pay for one. They will remember the view when you snuck on the roof of those apartments, or the cute puppies when you volunteered at the shelter, or the score when she beat you at Horse.

It doesn’t have to be expensive, it just has to stir up emotions. Get creative!

12 Feldman January 7, 2011 at 11:21 am

Want an easy way to impress a woman if you own a car and are going out in it? If you’re a gentlemen, you do this already. Open and close her car door for her. It’s a basic, simple act that can score huge points and make you look like a champ. It’s easy. You just unlock the door, open it up, let her get in and get situated, then gently close the door. That’s it. Do it every time, even in the rain. Do it until it becomes second nature. It’s a nice gesture from a bygone era, incorporate it into your mannerisms, you’ll be a better person for it.

13 Matt J January 7, 2011 at 11:24 am

This is great. I’ve just recently gotten back in the dating game and I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out something to do. I was about to settle with dinner and a movie, but this post has inspired me!

14 Jasanna January 7, 2011 at 11:29 am

Love this post!! It’s so true. Do something fun and out there! Don’t be scared about it being “weird.” Just let her know if she needs to bring anything special in advance. :’P

http://www.etsy.com/shop/SoliloquyShoppe

15 Dan January 7, 2011 at 11:51 am

I took a lady apple picking, and picked pumpkins. Later we went back to my place and carved the pumpkins. She said it was a great time, “a perfect fall date”

16 M January 7, 2011 at 12:31 pm

I went to an antique mall on a date once. I wasn’t really sure what I thought of that when he stopped there, but we walked around and looked at all the old stuff and found really crazy things that started conversations like, “I wonder what they used this for?” or “Would you ever need something like this in your house?” Eventually, we sat down in some really old chairs and just talked. We’ve done picnics, gone to museums, painted, carved pumpkins, went to amusement parks, gone fishing, etc. Dinner and movies are nice and easy (especially once you’re married), but when you’re getting to know someone, it’s better to do something out-of-the-ordinary and memorable.

17 andy January 7, 2011 at 1:13 pm

I actually think it is more beneficial to do something you want to do. If the girl likes it, then great you start off having something in common. Why start a relationship then spend the rest of the time revealing your true self.

18 Mike January 7, 2011 at 1:56 pm

When I was in college a lot of times, I’d strike up a conversation with a girl after my 7am class and invite her to a late breakfast. It was a little unique just because of the time and because it was impromptu the pressure was gone. It was always very relaxed.
When dating I would go to the Dallas Museum of Art or we would go rummage through an old antique shop for fun. There is a really unique park nearby my home town that was always good for a tour. I even had a girl for a long time and would hit up garage sales and resale shops just for fun (although not a first date type-a-thing).

19 Thalia January 7, 2011 at 2:40 pm

We receive catalogs from the local community colleges. They have amazing extension classes. Some of the classes are single day, for 2-3 hours– crafts or skills like cooking. Community colleges also arrange group travel to local destinations. That would be a great date– visit caves, gardens at the peak of cactus flowering, historic house that’s not usually open to public.

Walking tours in general could be a great date. Check with Historic Conservation society. Find out where the tour ends, and locate a great coffee shop for conversation and unwind after.

Bicycling
Museum

20 Kyle Webs January 7, 2011 at 2:50 pm

I say do something fun, and make yourself look like an idiot. They love that. haha. But seriously though, you’ll have more fun if you’re being weird. And it opens up chances for jokes and laughs.

21 Anna January 7, 2011 at 3:21 pm

One really good suggestion I heard was to go do some volunteer work with your date because you can tell a lot by a person’s character. For example, do they help do the work or do they just expect you to do it? Also if you (the guy) suggest this it makes you very appealing, trust me!

If you think about it, we base whether we want to be in a romantic relationship with someone on whether we have fun with them. Obviously you wouldn’t want to be with someone who bored you, but in the grand scheme of things it is not super-important.

22 Kyle J. Byard January 7, 2011 at 5:27 pm

@Eric–I think dinner and/or a movie is a great date for people who are already well acquainted and comfortable with each other. My wife and I love to get a break and go out and get some dinner and go see a movie. I’m certainly not anti-dinner and a movie. However, in my opinion, going on a date with someone you’ve been with a long time is different than going on a first date. If my wife and I are out having dinner and there is a lull in the conversation that’s OK, but on a first date that same silence is probably going to be awkward.

@Sam–I think Adventure-Some Matthew’s picnic suggestion would be a great idea. I understand that the tropical weather might be a bit of a concern, but I think a nice shady spot around sunset would help a little (as well as help set the mood). Other activities might depend on the girl you are dating. If she has a favorite non-mall related activity then that might make for a good date if it’s something you can do together.

23 Kory G Leach January 7, 2011 at 6:40 pm

I recommend going for a walk around dusk around a golf course or a nice park, they are quiet, so voices can be heard. They are often scenic so there are good views and usually have good insect control so bugs are less of an issue. The nice part about a golf course is after the walk the clubhouse is usually a nice place to have a drink afterwards to cool down and enjoy the views from a small table in an intimate atmosphere.

24 Kaye January 7, 2011 at 11:37 pm

I wish more men would take this advice. I’ve been single for about a year and every date I’ve gone on during this time has been a typical dinner date. The only other advice I would give is don’t make the lady plan the date. If you’re asking her out, you should have a plan of where you want to go and what you want to do.

25 Jeff January 7, 2011 at 11:59 pm

Good article: creativity is manly. My best first date was washing her car together in the driveway. Then there have been early-relationship bicycle rides. Feeding the homeless Thanksgiving meals. Christmas caroling with a group of friends. Painting a room (I brought the expertise: women appreciate a handy man).

Brett, you got your quote wrong, I think. You wrote:
“The key to a man’s heart is his stomach.”

I believe it goes “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

Keep up the good work.

26 Sir Lancelot January 8, 2011 at 9:03 am

I think you shouldn’t only do things she likes but things you like, especially on the first dates,as a way of showing her who you are. That of course doesn’t necessarily mean taking her to a game and swelling beer, but sharing wih her things close to your heart.

27 Peter Johnson January 8, 2011 at 10:20 am

My first date with my now wife was to show up at her house (invited, of course) and make her lamb with garlic mashed potatoes, roasted veggies and crepes for dessert. I had to bring my own gear cause she wasn’t much of a cook. That impressed her the most.

28 dt January 8, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Nature hikes and live music venues are great dates and very inexpensive. The zoo is excellent for a first date, wild animals are conversational gold and it’s a great opportunity for that first walk while holding hands.

29 Christian January 8, 2011 at 10:05 pm

A lot of great ideas, y’all! I think what’s key here is whatever you decide to do for a first date (or second, third…) make sure you try to meet two criterion: 1. Try to make it enjoyable and interesting while 2. Providing the opportunity to build a conversation around it. The whole idea of a date is to get to know one another and not simply be in the same vicinity as each other. I think this is why a movie *typically* isn’t a great idea at first.

30 Milan January 9, 2011 at 3:25 am

This post was just what I was looking for. I have been on two ‘conversation’ dates with a girl. Now we are going to an art museum this week. I am planning salsa dancing lessons for the next date. Being the beginning of the year, it’s a great time to join a dance class as they are expecting new entrants and you’ll learn from the basics, meaning you won’t feel out of place.

31 Mark Petersen January 9, 2011 at 1:27 pm

Tandem bikes are good but I would recommend waiting until you know each other better. They take a bit of cooperation.

32 M-Squared January 9, 2011 at 6:53 pm

During college, a good one I had was going to a pet shop/animal shelter and just play with the animals. Especially during college you and the girl alike will miss your pets, it gives the girl a sight into your playful & fun side, your discussion topic is right there… talk about pets you’ve had or fun animal encounters. Everyone has stories like that.

33 Jennifer January 9, 2011 at 8:17 pm

My first date with my husband we drove to a town about 45 minutes away for dessert. Shortly after he followed up with a hike then after he made dinner in his new apartment, no furniture so we ate on the floor. He made shark for dinner. Another date we went off roading in his landcruiser. There was a problem with a radiator so we worked as a team to run back and forth from a waterfall with small cups of water.

He doesn’t realize that we still go on dates all the time but they are never called “dates”. Snowmobiling for the day. Scuba diving lessons. Photography classes. Almost always something neither of us have ever done. I love it but don’t tell him that he is actually going on a “date”.

34 Steve January 9, 2011 at 9:16 pm

I agree that a movie is a terrible choice for a first date, or even a 10th date. What do you do when you’ve been dating someone for a few months and you’re both looking forward to seeing the same film? I’m sure some of your girlfriends & wives have already mentioned that they’d like to see Black Swan, right? I bet not one person thought the best response to that was, “OK honey, have a good time. I think I’ll go see it with the guys next weekend.” So, assuming you haven’t given up on cinema entirely and you have, if not similar, then at least overlapping tastes with your significant other, you’re going to see some movies together.

Here are some suggestions:
1) Pick a nice theater.
If there’s a drive-in, it’s worth seeking out! If there’s a slightly fancier, or even just a cleaner theater in town, head for that. Many theaters have either double seats or seats with retractable arms, making hand-holding and cuddling much more comfortable.
2) Movie first, dinner after.
That means looking up how long the move runs, and possibly making reservations. After the movie is a great time to talk about the film over dinner. Also you’ll both be more relaxed having had an hour or more in a dark room with no work, kids, school, or other pressures. As always, choose a restaurant she’ll like, be nice to the wait staff, etc.

35 Chris January 10, 2011 at 2:51 am

Wow, I recently found about about this website because my brother got me the book for Christmas. I literally just invited this girl over for Thursday night. For this, our third date, I told her I would cook her dinner around 9 and then watch the Jersey Shore afterwards. We’re both transplanted northerners that just moved to DC, and the fun thing is, she happened to graduate from the same college during the same year that I did, but we just met in DC about a month ago! Needless to say I’m pretty scared because A) I don’t know how to cook besides spaghetti or chicken on the skillet (I know, I’m ashamed that I’m 24 and still can’t cook) and B) This is going to be the first time either one of us has gone over the other person’s apartment.
If anyone has any easy recipes for Manicotti or Lasagna please let me know!!!!

36 Jack January 10, 2011 at 9:39 am

Stuffed pasta might seem like a good idea, but lots of people who cook more than you do still manage to make it crunchy. Try this link for easy meal ideas. http://tinyurl.com/ykamhcg The first one is really simple. You just have to be careful not to overcook the salmon. You might even want to try making the meal for yourself between now and Thursday so that you have a better chance of making it well.

I would say the part of you life where you really need help is choosing TV programs. Jersey Shore? Really? Just kidding. Not my cup of tea, but if you can sit there laughing about it together I guess it all works out.

37 Chris January 10, 2011 at 11:38 am

Hahaha yeah, that’s the plan. The Jersey Shore reminds us both of home in a good/bad way, so it should provide plenty of entertainment. I’m going to do just that, make the meal for myself ahead of time, because I promised her Italian. And stupid me told her that I wanted a challenge because spaghetti would be too easy…

38 rick January 10, 2011 at 1:43 pm

My favorite used to be to take a first date to a gun range. Full safety gear and all(earplugs, safety glasses, etc) . Most were pretty pathetic, but every now and then I’d run into a daddy’s girl who could surprise me.

39 john January 10, 2011 at 2:29 pm

My wife and doubled dated with another couple to a gun range as well. It was one of our more unique dates and quite fun. We also took a picnic to a little league game before we had kids. When you are removed from the parent/child pressure of it all, it provides some pretty entertaining moments, especially when you watch the really young teams.

40 Cody McCloud January 10, 2011 at 9:17 pm

A while back I was on a first date with a girl I’d been friends with for a while, and while it was very exciting and we were both nervous, I was actually a little upset about missing a once-in-a-lifetime free concert put on by a local radio station here in Nashville. We’re both into Geo-caching (google it friends, makes for a great first date) so after an outside dinner at SatCo. we decided to try a geo-cache that turned out to be a historic tour of Nashville landmarks. And you’ll never guess where it started … at the site of the free concert. She looked gorgeous and the Wailers were fantastic. It was one for the books folks.

41 CA January 13, 2011 at 2:33 am

My wife and I spent many of our early dates walking through the “Old Town” section of our hometown looking at the Victorian and Edwardian homes. It was a great way to be active, spend a lot of time talking, and since she was about to go into architecture school, definitely played to her interests.

I think live shows can be good, especially if it’s something out of the ordinary. Our first date was to a live brass band concert. Our second “official” date was to a Victorian-style ball, complete with tail coats and bustles. Out of the ordinary for sure, but she was actually dating someone else at the time, and look who she ended up with. ;-) All’s fair in love and war they say.

42 Mike January 13, 2011 at 8:41 pm

This article is great soley for trying to get people out of the dinner and a movie routine. I have often found myself stuck in that routine and they were never memorable. My most memorable first date was when I met a girl and we went to the arcade and aquarium together. It was way out of the ordinary and fun!

43 Jacob January 14, 2011 at 8:32 pm

One of my favorites is a road trip of any kind. Traveling someplace like the beach or a city we haven’t been to. Both of these places have tons of things to do.

44 Darren January 15, 2011 at 8:52 am

Great advice. First date: Seeing Jeremiah Johnson at the University Cafeteria then a walk in the fall leaves. She wore my overcoat.

Second date – Frisbee and a picnic. She was lame at Frisbee but a really good sport. Then the flies came out at the picnic area and we ended up hiding under the picnic blanket. Again, a good sport…much laughing and cursing of flies. Secretly we were both delighted. She kissed me. :-)

That was 1984. Last night’s date was ice skating at the local lake (the city keeps a section plowed and smooth) and hot chocolate.

If you want to stay married, block out date nights (at least two a month). Otherwise you’ll get lost in the mundane.

45 Saeed January 15, 2011 at 11:01 pm

I took a girl out to a Rock climbing gym. that was a lot of fun. its a hobby of mine which i actually had not done in a while. she didnt really know how, so i was pretty much teaching her. i actually surprised myself how much i knew. she learned, and good at it really quickly. it was amazing actually

the car ride home was long..and just awkward lol, so nothing really happened after

46 Alex January 17, 2011 at 3:35 am

Last couple of first dates involved shopping and hide and seek with nosy friends, skiing (although i was terrible) and a fun easy night on the wii!

47 Trimegistus January 17, 2011 at 2:14 pm

I’m going to take issue with suggestion #2: don’t tag along to something she’s interested in. You look like a doormat — and if it’s any kind of athletic activity she’s probably got more experience so you may get trounced. Invite her into your world. Let her do the fun and exciting things you do when she’s not around (even if you’ve never done them before, don’t tell her that).

Thought experiment: which guy is more sexy? The one who tries to play tennis with her and makes a fool of himself on the court? Or the one who takes her on her first kayaking trip and shows how well he can handle the boat? Give her a reason to respect you!

48 Annie January 21, 2011 at 7:24 am

Some amazing suggestions here, but I think most of these feel like second dates. I think that the first date should be as simple as possible, so you can get to know each other a little and focus on the conversation. If you’ve nothing to talk about, it’s best to know that straight away, as there’s no amount of abseiling/ pony trecking/ make-your-own-cocktail classes that will get round that longer term.

49 Stefanie January 22, 2011 at 2:50 am

Going on a hike and having a picnic after is always fun. I like going to dinner on a first date, but it has to be with the right person. I am a server, and I see so many awkward first dates. If you know conversation is not going to flow, don’t do somethig where you are just sitting across from each other. Do something active first in order to break the ice, and then sit, talk, and get to know each other.

50 how to get a girlfriend in middle school February 3, 2011 at 9:17 am

I agree with stefanie opinion above because we all have to know our partner more right if not how we could get along with each other in the future.

51 Derek December 3, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Although the ideas of the actual date should be different every time, I find it great to both secretly think of an idea, then when you pick her up, you flip a coin to see who chooses!

Then…. you have a great reason for a second date as the other person gets to do their idea!

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