Dating Advice from 1944: How to Pick Your Right Girl

by Brett & Kate McKay on March 30, 2012 · 124 comments

in Dating, Relationships & Family

For $.98 cents you too can unlock the mystery of getting along with girls.

In one of the old men’s magazines I have in my collection, I spotted an ad for a book called How to Get Along with Girls. Curious on what sort of dating advice was dispensed in 1944 when the book was published, I wanted to get my hands on it.  The ad said all I needed to do was send in .98 cents and the secrets of getting along with girls would be mine. What a deal! Unfortunately, after further research, I found that the publisher no longer exists, so I had no place to send my pocket change. Drat!

Undeterred, I went to eBay to see if any of the original copies still existed. Lucky for me I found one for just $5.00. It arrived in the mail a few days ago, and I’ve enjoyed thumbing through it, chuckling at some of the advice that clearly needs to stay in 1944. But, overall, How to Get Along with Girls offers some pretty solid and timeless dating advice for men.

So I thought it would be fun (and perhaps useful) to share some of the book’s advice with you all from time to time.  The first excerpt comes from a chapter called “How to Pick Your Right Girl.” It’s reminiscent of the post we published back in 2008 called How Do You Know When She’s the One? and is all about figuring out whether you’re in a relationship with the right gal. Enjoy.

How to Pick Your Right Girl

“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage; half closed afterwards.”

Sooner or later, if you are “stuck” on a girl, you arrive at the crucial indecision, “Is she the right girl for me? Shall I marry her?”

Yours is an unbelievable lot, brother. You are required to decide for the rest of your life, at a time when you are bereft of reason. You are required to be impartial about the object of your love, when love prejudices you in her favor. Unfortunately, such is the cockeyed nature of things that every marrying man gets into this predicament.

What you seek in a wife is strictly your business. To rephrase the old proverb: one man’s wife is another man’s poison. But it is only fair to warn you that what you desire may not coincide with what you require. You may have no idea of what is good for you. Perhaps you need a woman to bolster your ego, but are masochist enough to “go” for a girl who slaps you down every time. Haven’t you seen that happen? Or you may need a girl to slap you down, but egoist that you are, you “go” only for “fluff” that flatters your vanity.

Before you make the momentous decision, you would do well to ponder the questions in this chapter. Obviously, you will not be objective; but it is of the utmost importance that you make the effort. To compensate for your prejudice, be extra hard in judging her.

  • She is attractive, of course, but is that her chief asset? (Try to imagine her ten years from today.)
  • Do you want her because she is popular–because other men have wanted her? (Don’t be a copy-cat!)
  • Could you spend seven consecutive evenings in her company without being bored? (If the answer is affirmative, it is a good sign.)
  • Do you have similar tastes in most things?
  • Is she a good sport?
  • Is she reasonably healthy?
  • Is she a flirt? Does she make you jealous? (Decide whether you can stand the strain; your jealously will persist until you grow indifferent.)
  • Are you constantly irritated by some small mannerism of hers? (You can’t be terribly in love.)
  • Does she tell lies? Do you mind?
  • Is she a nag?
  • Is she quarrelsome? (The Bible warns, “It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop than with a brawling woman in a wide house.”)
  • Is she hard on other people? (Don’t judge by her behavior to you.)
  • Is she trying to reform you? How do you feel about being reformed?
  • Has she tried to boss you? (Maybe you need a boss.)
  • Would she put up with all your faults if she knew them?
  • When you quarrel, who capitulates first? (A combination of two stubborn mules is bad.)
  • Do you agree on children, or a career, or both? (Better settle this beforehand.)
  • Does she expect you to support her in a definite style? Could you count on her cooperation in hard times? Would she go to work if necessary?
  • Will she help you get ahead? Or will she pull you away from your work?
  • Can she handle money?
  • If you marry her, will you also be marrying her family?
  • Does she let you get around to see your old pals? (If you have been too infatuated to notice, make it a point of finding out.)
  • Are you proud to present her to your friends? (If not, reconsider.)
  • Do you hope to reform her? (Give up the idea. People change, but not according to plan.)
  • Do you know her faults? Are you willing to live with them?
  • Do you still think her perfect? (You’re wrong, of course, but marry!)

Any other questions a man pondering marriage should consider before making the plunge? Specifically, are there questions a man should ask in 2012 that a man might not have asked himself in 1944? Share them with us in the comments!

{ 124 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Daniel March 30, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Does she spend all day on Facebook?

Is she constantly glued to her phone?

2 Andrew#2 March 30, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Is she tough?

Does she have brains?

Is she good enough for me to devote my life to?

Is she kind?

3 Bob March 30, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Does she Keep up with the Kardashians?

4 JakeEagle March 30, 2012 at 12:18 pm

I want to see the rest of the book!

Even if it should stay in 1944 I’m sure we all could get a good laugh.

5 Oleg March 30, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Does she a positive person?

Does she have passion in life?

Does she a strong woman, which can stand for her ideas and pricipals?

6 Timm March 30, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Would she stay at home, if necessary?

7 dc March 30, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Has she read Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch?

8 tdd March 30, 2012 at 12:25 pm

How much can she squat?

9 CoachT March 30, 2012 at 12:31 pm

* If it doesn’t come in a can or a box, can she cook it?

* If the microwave breaks, can we still have dinner?

10 A6 March 30, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Does she actually you know….LOVE YOU in return. In other words, will she leave you on your one year anniversary and marry her former lame from High School a year later.

11 Joanie March 30, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Does she love you more than herself? This coming from a woman! Married 31 years and he still gives me butterflies!

12 eve March 30, 2012 at 1:57 pm

How does she treat the help, i.e. waiters, janitors, panhandlers…

13 Gerhard March 30, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Is she a hygienic person for heavens sake!

14 Chase Christy March 30, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Two Considerations -

1. Do you share the same belief system, worldview, etc? Doesn’t have to be super specific, but if you believe in contradicting systems – you could be in trouble. Say the husband is a devout Christian and believes his life should be lived led by the Holy Spirit even if it is difficult, and the wife is an Atheist and wants all decisions to be perfectly logical. This can make for a very strained marriage.

2. How does she really feel about divorce? My parents taught their kids to never even talk about divorce (in non-dangerous circumstances). Growing up, I always assumed that my parents never really had difficult times, and they were just being idealistic. When my own marriage was in crisis, my parents opened up to me about the many VERY difficult times their marriage weathered, and again encouraged me to stay with it.

All marriages have difficulties. You want to marry someone who will really stay with you even when things aren’t perfect.

15 Drew Thompson March 30, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Does she have a good credit score?

Does she have a criminal record?

It’s not that either is a deal breaker, but you should know both going into a marriage!

16 Sarah March 30, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Does she give a good back rub?

Is she proud to be your girl?

Does she respect you (in private and in public)?

17 Daren Redekopp March 30, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Do you worship the same God?

18 Steve March 30, 2012 at 3:25 pm

1) Can you afford to lose half of everything you own and pay her child support for the next 18 years while she shacks up with some loser who refuses to support her?

2) If so, are the two dozen or so times she’ll agree to have sex with you before divorcing you worth question one?

19 Pat March 30, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Many of these points she should be considering about you:
Is she intelligent, able to discuss a variety of topics?
Does she display rash behavior (socially, financially, in private)?
Does she have core values, does she adhere to them, are them similar to yours?
Does she have the same religious beliefs as you?
What is her opinion regarding her future plans (work, having children)? Will she put the role of wife / mother as a primary responsibility in her life?

20 George March 30, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Is she happy?

More generally, when someone makes you unhappy, it turns out to be that they are not happy. People have a natural level of happiness. If you marry someone who is as naturally happy as my wife is, you will congratulate yourself every day.

21 Todditski March 30, 2012 at 4:17 pm

I’d actually like to see what “should stay in 1944″. Can you add those, too?

22 Phinn March 30, 2012 at 4:34 pm

There’s one part of a marriage that a lot of people overlook, but is extremely important: recreational companionship.

If you spend all of your time having fun with other people, then you and your spouse are actually building a loving relationship with those people, not each other.

I would recommend that, as you contemplate a marriage, consider whether you would want to spend at 50-75% of your recreational time together with her, forever.

It’s not a good idea, I don’t think, to spend 100% of your recreational time together, since men need to be around other men from time to time, and she will need time away from you sometimes too.

But spouses really ought to be each other’s primary recreational companions, or else your marriage will erode over time.

Also, never take advice from women about what they want. They really don’t know.

What they want (but will never tell you) is a man who COULD be with lots of other women, but chooses her. They want you to be attractive to other women, but not cross the line and act on it. They need to see other women being interested in you, from time to time, which you should then follow up with an assurance of your loyalty.

That’s 90% of long-term attraction, right there — being fun, and being (at least potentially) attractive to others. Combine that with being basically decent and capable, and you’ll have a wife who adores you.

23 Billy March 30, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Is she modest?

24 Jo Ellen March 30, 2012 at 4:59 pm

does she drink beer?
will she travel 11 hours to drink special beer?
if she doesn’t drink beer will she be your designated driver?
I’m a beer drinkin’ woman who truly loves her man but I’m not so sure we would still be together after 18 years without the beer.

25 Phinn March 30, 2012 at 5:07 pm

See? Recreational companionship includes beer tourism. That’s love.

26 Sheree March 30, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Jo Ellen, I love your entry the best of all so far~!! I can totally relate and agree completely. My answers: I do. I will. Yes. Right on~!!

27 Powda March 30, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Is she completely crazy?

28 Daniel March 30, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Is kind of weird, i would have say yes to almost every question in there, but i was already thinking on my ex, she didnt dumped me when i was quiet cold too her at the beggining cuz i still belive love works with effort and time, and she looked me with devotion so early almost not knowing a shit about me, i felt pretty bad cuz made her think i was playing with her, but i was kind of confused there so i made up my mind and started to date her and everything worked out untill last year she cheated on me twice, and mostly for the way i was before i thought it was some karma stuff there, so i forgave her and sstarted all over, but she ended up taking distance from me, became pretty cold, lost the respect to me, and ended up breaking up with me and three days laters she started to go out with a guy and then a week later started a serious relationship with him xD so yeah i dunno why did i say yes to almost every question

29 Daniel V March 30, 2012 at 7:36 pm

does she have kids? are this her first marriage?

30 Pialbo March 30, 2012 at 8:11 pm

I hope my future wife won’t have a list like that, or I won’t pass the exam! :-)

I think that nobody is perfect and if we want to marry, we better to avoid looking for perfection… What if she can’t cook? I will cook! :-)

31 BritTex March 30, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Do you LIKE her? Most men are too busy fancying her to ask themselves that question.

32 El Comendante March 30, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Does she know how to use punctuation or does she write/speak in huge run-on sentences that never end… like Daniel’s?

33 Tom K March 30, 2012 at 10:42 pm

Can she attend a party with you and not be glued to your hip even if she does not know a lot of people?

34 J.C. March 30, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Can we get this whole pamphlet?

35 Daniel Kim March 30, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Can she take correction, and thoughtfully consider what you say before telling you that you’re wrong? I mean, she doesn’t have to give in every time, but she should think about what you said, at least. And so should you.

36 HQ March 31, 2012 at 12:37 am

Would you still want to be with them even if sex were removed from the equation? Example: they are in a horrible accident and become paralyzed. Are you prepared to be their care-giver?
Is your friendship as strong as your love?

37 T. Thema Martin March 31, 2012 at 6:27 am

As a woman, I would think that I man would be concerned about what I would do if he became incapacitated.

38 Reese March 31, 2012 at 10:21 am

Beyond how many kids, in what religion, even what religious sect, will you raise the kids?
As a protestant dating a catholic, this has been an issue of much discussion.

All about the ge-og-raphy, How much of her life does she have planned out? Are you willing to follow her, or must she be willing to follow you, where ever life may lead?

39 Patrick March 31, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Amazing, some things never change. All of these points are perfectly valid 68 years later.

40 Dave March 31, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Absolute number 1 in my book. Does she have a strong social network of friends? This will tell you a lot about her. Also when you go out for a night with the guys, she will be able to occupy herself socially as well. Otherwise it results in having to do everything together which I find is a strain on the relationship.

41 Been There Done That March 31, 2012 at 4:27 pm

1) Can you afford to lose half of everything you own and pay her child support for the next 18 years while she shacks up with some loser who refuses to support her?

2) If so, are the ̶t̶w̶o̶ ̶d̶o̶z̶e̶n̶ eight or so times she’ll agree to have sex with you before divorcing you worth question one?

42 Phil March 31, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Does she have a better beard than you?

Can she bench press more than you?

Can she beat you at wrestling?

43 Jasper March 31, 2012 at 5:49 pm

“Will she put the role of wife / mother as a primary responsibility in her life?”
That’s one that should have stayed in 1944!

44 Seth March 31, 2012 at 6:26 pm

@ Jasper:
“Will she put the role of wife/mother as a primary responsibility in her life?” I disagree sir. My Mother put that first and foremost, and I believe that I and my eight siblings are the better for it. i thank God every day that my mother choose the most difficult and challenging career of all: motherhood. If women desire to work outside the home, far be it for me to be a nay-sayer, but don’t anyone dare say that being a stay at home mother is less work, or less challenging, or less womanly, or less anything than a woman who works outside the home. Call me a chauvinist if you wish, but a stay at home mother, to me, is the ultimate display of womanly quality. A nurse, psychologist, counselor, chef, economist, ambassador, supervisor, maid, chauffer, tailor, and most important, a mother, all rolled into one. Unfortunately, Motherhood is one career choice that the feminist movement scorns, but I believe it is because they are afraid of it, because they are unable to meet the challenge, because desiring power, they became weak.
Maybe I am a chauvinist or old fashioned, but don’t dare insult mothers by calling them, or their honorable choice of career old fashioned or whatever else they call it these days. Don’t patronize them, or pity them. They are doing a job no man ever will be capable of doing. Respect and admire them; like my mother used to say, “Your mother brought you into the world, be sure she can take you out of it!”

45 Edite March 31, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Regarding questions for potential spouses.
I believe…
#1 You should care for WHO each other ARE…not what you look like. (who wants to just be wanted for their bodies!?!?)
#2 You Must RESPECT and SHOW RESPECT for each other .
#3 Want to spend most of your time together but not all of it and have at least one pursuit each that the other isn’t into themselves (ie. golf, bingo, skydiving, stamp collecting… whatever)
#4 Hardcore basics should be the same…kids, who is the breadwinner, where to live…
#5 BOTH need friends/family as support network. Marrage as a partnership works…one LIVING for the other…not a good thing.
#6 Important…is she happy being with you? If you don’t make her happy being you…she’ll eventually do the same back.

46 Edite March 31, 2012 at 6:59 pm

@Jasper.
Not true regarding feminism…All feminism states is that women have an integeral right to work at…whatever…not that they must.
I believe myself a feminist and don’t think you chovenist for showing apprechiation of your mother’s CHOICE to be an at home MOM. We all have to decide what makes us happy and fulfilled, and feminism opens up a woman’s ability to choose and true chovenism applies ONLY antiquated steriotypical roles (pregnant in the kitchen – bla bla).
Arn’t you surprised you’re a feminist Jasper? (grins)

47 Edite March 31, 2012 at 7:00 pm

opps….ment SETH…my bad

48 Shipsa01 March 31, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Wait a minute, is that Mittens Romney on that cover?

49 AC April 1, 2012 at 2:55 am

Would it be a problem if she made more money in the relationship?

50 Carding April 1, 2012 at 4:57 am

Darn! I Had this Wonderful Book!!
Very Helpful indeed!

51 Ryan April 1, 2012 at 7:39 am

BritTex, that’s a very good point. I’ve seen so many relationships where he loves her as his girlfriend/wife, but doesn’t actually LIKE her as a person (and that goes both ways – there are plenty of women who love their boyfriend/husband, but don’t actually LIKE him).

52 John April 1, 2012 at 9:45 am

@Jasper

A housewife is the hardest career known to man. Not only is a housewife a mother, but also an ecologist, a nurse, a doctor, a therapist, a social worker, a hygienist, a law enforcer, a lawyer, a judge, an artist, a performer, a musician, a communicator, a dancer, an economist, an accountant, a manager, an advertiser, a historian, a philosopher, a theologian, a mediator, an entrepreneur, a legislator, a diplomat, a psychologist, a sociologist, an anthropologist, an educator, an engineer, a scientist, and a technician. A housewife is the ‘Jack of all trades’ if you will. Yet, a housewife is chastised because such a calling is “degrading” and “exploited.” I give the utmost respect to women who choose to be housewives because I know I could not handle it. Working women having nothing to complain about compared to housewives.

53 April April 1, 2012 at 1:42 pm

are we sexually compatible

54 Stacy April 1, 2012 at 6:54 pm

I love these kinds of books. This is great! And the comments raise some really good points, too. I am easy to please. As a woman, I would love to meet a man that doesn’t have to be told to walk me to my car at the end of a date, instead of leaving me standing in a dark parking lot as he makes it to his car. Or how about calling the woman you call “your girlfriend” during the week for conversation, to really get to know what’s in her heart?? Please don’t tell me you love me and care while treating me like an after thought or second option to the rest of your life.
I’m sorry. I really needed to vent that.

55 Lucius April 1, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Back where I’m from there are only three questions. Is she pregnant? Is it yours? Does her father have a shotgun?

56 David April 1, 2012 at 7:41 pm

@ Jasper Actually, yes, that advice rings quite true. No woman should have to be a wife and/or mother, but if you ARE one, then that had better be the primary role in your life, or you’re doing it wrong. If you’re spending the rest of your life with someone you love, then they are THE most important thing in your life. And if you have kids, it is your duty to raise them the best that you can. If you put your career (or any other kind of self-interest) before those people in your life, you don’t deserve to have them in the first place.

57 Zachariah April 1, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Do I respect her?

Does she garner my respect, or just my attraction?

58 larry April 1, 2012 at 9:17 pm

I agree with APRIL…..huge issue.

59 Dave April 2, 2012 at 12:31 am

Find out what she most values. Ask, “What are you willing to die for”?

60 Dave D April 2, 2012 at 1:13 am

Is she sure enough of herself to not feel threatened about your strengths? Do you complement one another, such as are your weaknesses her strong points and vice versa. Can you handle the reality of morning breath, bad hair, financial challenges, raised toilet seats, passing gas, and all the other myriads of annoying things that are overlooked during the dating process when everything is a new and exciting adventure. Are you mature enough to face reality and lifelong commitment? Or will you one day trade in your forty for a couple of twenties?

61 Dave Lee April 2, 2012 at 1:15 am

Is she sure enough of herself to not feel threatened about your strengths? Do you complement one another, such as are your weaknesses her strong points and vice versa. Can you handle the reality of morning breath, bad hair, financial challenges, raised toilet seats, passing gas, and all the other myriads of annoying things that are overlooked during the dating process. Are you mature enough to face reality and lifelong commitment? Or will you one day trade in your forty for a couple of twenties?

62 Dave Lee April 2, 2012 at 1:17 am

Is she sure enough of herself to not feel threatened about your strengths? Do you complement one another, such as are your weaknesses her strong points and vice versa. Can you handle the reality of morning breath, bad hair, financial challenges, raised toilet seats, passing gas, and all the other myriads of annoying things that are overlooked during the dating process. Are you mature enough to face reality and lifelong commitment, Or will you one day trade in your forty for a couple of twenties?

63 youGuysAreAllWrong April 2, 2012 at 5:19 am

run home and pretend youve just hit someone with your car on accident and the body is in your trunk

have fake blood on your hands and a torn shirt

ask her to bury the body with you.

does she call the cops ? gtfo

does she help ? marry her

64 Ali April 2, 2012 at 9:48 am

Does she has a strong moral character(per your definition)?

Can you trust her that she would be loyal to you, in your absence for more than two weeks?

Would you like to grow old with her?

@youGuysAreAllWrong nice idea, I
would try :D

65 Max April 2, 2012 at 10:01 am

Nice find Brett! I need to get a copy :)

66 STEPcoach April 2, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Discuss your marriage vows before you get close to saying them. Make sure you both agree to all of what you’ll SWEAR to stick with until you die.

“To have and to hold from this day forward,” means comfort, sex, cuddling, ownership – yes, ownership. I am my wife’s, no one else’s – just hers. And vice should be versa.
“For better or for worse,” is a nice, broad way of saying, “whatever comes along, including employment, mental health, political fortunes, etc.”
“For richer, for poorer,” means just that – if we’re doing well or if we lose everything and have to bunk with one of our parents.”
“In sickness and in health,” means if you become physically debilitated, I will change your diapers and bathe you for the rest of your life.”

“To love and to cherish” is an important one. loving and cherishing means more than putting up with someone; it means placing that person first before anyone else, ever. And finally, “from this day forward until death do us part.” This has really taken a hit since 1944, what with the divorce rate going through the roof. Death in this phrase is referring to the physical cessation of any life signs, not just the life of my interest in you or the life of your remaining the same as you are now. Your children are counting on your holding firm to these vows. If you can’t be a man enough to stick with your vows, you have no place marrying someone … or having children with them.

67 Mike Duncan April 2, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Andrew#2
I would not advise asking if she is good enough to devote your life to but rather if you are good enough to think of someone else before yourself.

You might also want to ask how she handles difficulty. If she is a run-away-and-bury-it-in-the-sand kinda gal you’re probably going to wind up in divorce court. If she is level-headed enough to interact with difficulty without minimizing the truths of hardship or exaggerating their impact: you’ve got a keeper.

68 John April 2, 2012 at 10:04 pm

youGuysAreAllWrong
Great example, I agree.

My fiance would help me bury the body for sure.

69 Rupert April 3, 2012 at 10:57 am

If you met her in Connecticut and you are a Red Sox fan and she a Yankees, can you survive ? We have 26 years !

70 Wild Bill April 3, 2012 at 5:28 pm

I am learning the difference right now between what you want and what you need. I’m dating a girl right now who is not what I “wanted,” but exactly what I need! And I’m pretty crazy for this girl. Sometimes what you need is far better than what you want. Trust me!!

71 Gabriel Capen April 4, 2012 at 12:08 pm

@Jasper,
I completely agree with Edite. My mom put her entire life into homeschooling me and my 4 siblings, and I cannot imagine a greater gift, when we did not have to compete with her job or vocation or other activities for her love and attention, and she did not have to compete with teachers or caretakers for our complete love and respect. I believe that it is in motherhood that women shine the brightest, and God bless every full-time mother out there! You are giving one of the biggest gifts you can to your children!

72 Gabriel Capen April 4, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Edit: My bad, it is SETH I agree with.

73 Brad April 4, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Can she handle an AK47 and pistol?

74 k2000k April 6, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Does she view marraige as an equal partnership in a household? Meaning after the normal period were she stays at home with very young children will she return to the workforce, or if she expresses a desire not to return to the workforce, will she then make being a homemaker her new job versus a bon bon poppin stay at home?

75 Jasper April 6, 2012 at 7:42 pm

@Gabriel Capen and others: From my own experience I know it is important for a woman to have at least a parttime job. My father died when me and my sisters were very young. If my mother didn’t have had a job before that happened she would never have been able to support us. I think everyone should always be prepared for things going wrong in their lives. Just to be clear I DO have the most respect for mothers taking care of their children.

PS sorry for my bad English.

76 Ben April 7, 2012 at 1:03 am

One important thing i’ve found around this that if you are constanly attracting the wrong women into your life, then it is due to something you are holding inside.

I used to have so much drama in this area, and I started to let go of negative emotions, insecurities, doubts, negative beliefs and also past experiences that I held onto that made this keep happening.. and suddenly I attracted very little drama, relationships go much more smoothly.

I used a technique called EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and it really helped me in this area and many others!

-Ben

77 Andrew April 7, 2012 at 4:23 pm

what temperature does she like the thermostat at?

78 Nycki April 7, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Ben, I would love to know more about how you applied the EFT to “let go” of things which held you back.

Nycki@slingshot.co.nz

:-)

79 Ben April 7, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Very good Nicki, I have sent you an email. :)

80 Hank April 8, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Can she cook? Can she clean? Is she loyal or is she a skank?

81 Lucille April 10, 2012 at 12:39 am

I think that, out of all of the suggestions, the most illuminating is “Could you spend seven consecutive evenings in her company without being bored?”

After all of the initial highs of being with this person, you’ll be living with them (presumably) for the rest of your life. If they make a good roommate as well as an awesome romantic partner, then I’d say you made a good choice.

Also, I’m a little disappointed at the “1944″ mindsets of some of the commenters on here. “Can she cook and clean? Will she make being a wife/mother the primary part of her life?” Maybe that was an ideal set up in America 50 years ago by advertising, but the reality of the matter is that men and women have many different roles to fill, and it’s okay if they don’t match an outdated standard of the “pinnacle” of their gender.

82 Lalo April 10, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Well the reason I knew that my gal would be my wife is because, even though sometimes I was wrong or mistaken she was supportive of my position or idea. That could be a good thing or bad thing depending on the situation, but has turned out to be a plus in our relationship.(Married 13 years & still very much in love).

83 flavio April 17, 2012 at 4:21 am

Thanks! Most of these question I would have never thought of asking myself!

84 Rich April 19, 2012 at 12:13 am

Can you see yourself changing her diaper when you are both old and grey?
Can you see her doing the same for you?

85 Frankie April 26, 2012 at 11:11 am

Quoting Daniel:

“Does she spend all day on Facebook? Is she constantly glued to her phone?”

Well said. I could not put up for long with a woman like this. I don’t even own a cellphone – and I know I’m in the minority in that regard, but the attention which people pay to their portable devices and social media today is staggering. Find me ten or twenty people in an average setting – women in my age group (20s and 30s) in particular – who don’t, upon disembarking from a bus, train or other vehicle, or who don’t have their hands busy with other tasks, immediately pull out their phone and start texting or chattering – and from what I overhear, inanely.

I like the article. Basic tenets which will never go out of style.

86 Abby September 19, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Do you have a similar sense of humor?

Will she chastise you for your hobbies?

Is there a hobby you can both share together?

Couples that play together stay together : ) I laugh with my man everyday.

Also in response to sexual comptablilty, it is super important, and most couples don’t find out if they are compatable until down the road past the honeymoon phase.

87 Mike October 3, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Haha, yes that’s what I want to determine first: Is she perpetually glued to Facebook/iPhone?
Next, Does she own a Hulk costume.

88 Dylan October 12, 2012 at 12:24 am

Does she let you spoon her when she is already asleep?
Does she ‘return the favor’?

89 Ekwere October 12, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Will she be able to give you children?
Because she’s taller than you, Will she respect you as her husband?

90 Nick October 15, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Are you noticeably smarter than her? Is she noticeably smarter than you?

It’s of my opinion that the more intelligent of the two always ends up manipulating the other, whether they know it or not.

91 ALM October 20, 2012 at 3:33 pm

some things do not change over time. better to have wife that is respectable with ZERO question of a good reputation. Otherwise the husband will look like a stupid fool and looked upon with pity. Only when these party chix type girls wake up they may realize, ” it’s easier to retain a good reputation than recover one!”, it’s too late. After all, the world will judge the man by the appearance and actions of the wife. why rush?

92 Jacky October 20, 2012 at 10:08 pm

I wish someone had handed me this this list about 23 years ago…I would have never made the biggest mistake of my life and married the wrong woman (and when I say wrong I mean WRONG). Better yet I wish I had had a male in my life wise enough to sit me down and have a long talk with me about choosing the right woman.

93 Brett October 22, 2012 at 8:30 pm

Does she throw away her bills? I should have picked up on that right away (with wife #1). Headed for a world of financial strife.

94 David H October 24, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Wanting a woman who devotes herself to being a mother is far from old fashioned, whatever else a parent is they should be a PARENT first.

Wanting a woman who can cook and clean is not old fashioned, there will be times when you both have to rely on the other as caretaker and both sides must be prepared. In the case that a man cannot cook, he may seek this quality out of necessity and not chauvinism, though i do suggest learning to do so to fulfill the previously mentioned role of caretaker if a situation arises that you have to.

For me the number one quality a woman can have is resourceful creativity and awareness. If we need something we do not have, will she and i be able to figure out a replacement by taking from what we do have? If yes, then she is an absolute keeper, mostly because no-matter the problem we can work through it, material, spiritual, or emotional.

95 Nathan October 29, 2012 at 3:23 am

Does she blend?

96 Sara November 7, 2012 at 6:23 am

I think the issue about they staying at home with kids thing, isn’t whether the world thinks you’re chauvinistic or demanding by what you expect, but whether your wife does. At the end of the day, it’s her choice so it’s important to be in agreement.
I’m in the opposite situation, where I want to stay at home and homeschool my children and be a homemakering housewife, but my husband wants me to work. To him, financial stability and material things are more important, because that’s how he was raised. I was raised on practically nothing, playing board games and getting hugs and learning everyday, and that’s what I want my children to experience. Although, we’re teaching each other the value of both worlds.

A good one is, will I be capable of loving this woman, and stopping my eye from wandering when my (potential) children have altered her body and sense of self-image? Don’t get married if the answer is no, or if you can’t curb your wandering eye even now when she’s still youthful and beautiful. You’ll end up ripping her apart. Just stay clear of women until you’ve learnt that lesson.

97 Paulie November 7, 2012 at 8:39 am

Is she a royal complainer?

Does she neglect you?

Is she a pain in the butt?

98 so very true November 16, 2012 at 1:54 pm

in the early days women were certainly much more easier to meet than now, and many of them as well as men were VERY COMMITTED to one another. today women are so very DAMN NASTY, and want men that either are very rich or make a ton of money. with so many women that have an ATTITUDE PROBLEM now, just makes it very difficult for us good serious men that are looking today.

99 mr1moment November 16, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Is she giving importance to your effort?

100 Peter January 8, 2013 at 3:34 pm

Is she a woman or is she still a girl?

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post:

Site Meter