Dim & Dash: Picking Up a Date

by Brett & Kate McKay on January 19, 2012 · 92 Comments

in Dim & Dash, Visual Guides

{ 92 comments… read them below or add one }

1 JJ January 19, 2012 at 6:13 pm

My sister dated a guy who picked her up like Dim–honking his horn. He was a douche bag. Thankfully she finally came to her senses–they’re no longer dating.

2 Kerr January 19, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Well ladies, if any guy “picks you up” by blairing his horn, that pretty much tells you everything you need to know about him…

3 Jessie January 19, 2012 at 7:13 pm

One of the few times, particularly in recent years, a man that I was interested in came to the door I got so flustered with excitement I didn’t know how to react. I was like a little school girl. It didn’t hurt that I was already like a school girl around him, but that was the hot sauce on the chicken wing.
I’ve only been following your page for about a month, if that. So far, so completely refreshing and great. Thank you!

4 matt January 19, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Dash also dresses like his date.

5 JeffC January 19, 2012 at 7:44 pm

No doubt Dim greets his date with “Hey, Babe, gimme some sugar” once she opens her own door and climbs in.

6 Bellaisa January 19, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Oh Dim…I’ve dated you so many times that I know not to even open the door.

7 William January 19, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Dash’s girl seems cute, but I only see dims girls silouette… Maybe she isnt worth walking to the door for..
Kiddinggg. :)

8 William January 19, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Oh and it’s clearly night time, why is dim wearing sunglasses while driving. Rude, and looking to cause an accident.

9 Ryan January 19, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Obviously a guy who honks a horn for the girl to come out to him doesn’t care enough for her in the first place. Man up, punks.

10 Chris January 19, 2012 at 10:08 pm

On the flipside. Dim gets some while Dash goes home alone while his date says “Oh you’re such a nice guy. Let’s be friends.” Because girls date Dim’s a lot. It’s a weird world we live in.

11 Christopher January 19, 2012 at 10:31 pm

If you’re in the friend-zone and/or she is bored, you only have yourself to blame :)

12 Philip January 19, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Dim is one of those Jersey Shore types…

13 Steve January 19, 2012 at 11:38 pm

The sad thing is, there should really be an “artofwomanliness” website too. Girls these days suck. They spend 50% of their waking moments texting, and are influenced so heavily by mass media.

14 Emily R. January 19, 2012 at 11:45 pm

It’s a rarity that a guy even offers to pick me up anymore! And the end of the date is also important. I’ve had guys start driving away as soon as I get out of the car. They don’t even think to walk me to the door or wait to make sure I get in OK. I gave one a hard time about it later and he defensively argued that if he waited to make sure I got in that would be like stalking. Sigh…

15 Emily R. January 19, 2012 at 11:51 pm

@Steve: you’re dating the wrong women.

@Chris: Guys who have a chip on their shoulder are not fun to date, however “nice” they may be.

16 J-Kreepo January 20, 2012 at 12:00 am

Maybe tha fellas in a hurry! Maybe he has to take care of some business! Maybe he has somewhere to be! C’mon!

17 Jeff January 20, 2012 at 12:15 am

In this context, cell phone and/ or texting = honking.

18 William January 20, 2012 at 12:23 am

I second the art of womanliness thing, as much as guys may have lost it, at least when I look at most guys, they still have some hope, and are usually even open to bettering themselves somehow. but I’m hard pressed to ever see a woman trying to become more then just a woman, they have no ambition to be something truly great. And the few I see who try to educate themselves or something, tend to either be feminists with something to prove or an uptight with an inferiority complex. Rarely any I would look a and say “what a great role model for women.”

19 Cory January 20, 2012 at 4:07 am

@William: I don’t know what women you’re looking at, man. There are multiple news articles and the like (one or two here even) that point out how women in their early 20′s to 30′s are graduating college more often and starting more businesses than their male counterparts (in the US anyway). I see so many more men, guys I should say, wasting away their time and money. Every woman I know that I would consider a good friend lives on her own, but when it comes to my guy friends, I can name 3 off the bat who still live with their parents or are rather dependent on them still, at close to 30.

As well, people (men…) tend to confuse a strong woman with being a feminist or “uptight”. Just because you’re not used to a woman taking more than a tentative stand doesn’t make her a feminist. Of course there are the fanatics, but I see a lot of people taking things too personally.

I don’t know, I’m just saying I see plenty of women all over the place I’d sooner take as a role model than the men I see about. Womanliness =/= manliness, and I doubt many men today have a view of womanhood that isn’t at least a touch misogynistic.

20 Mike January 20, 2012 at 6:47 am

depends on the car doesn’t it…

21 uscroger January 20, 2012 at 7:28 am

Why would Dash honk or go to the door? He would just send a text or call on his cell that he is outside ready to go!

22 Jake January 20, 2012 at 7:43 am

These people who are saying that he should just honk, call or text her, this is why you’re single or the woman you’re with is with multiple other guys.

23 William January 20, 2012 at 8:37 am

@Cory, I was talking about being more then just the standard, the norm is to go to college, and being as there are programs out there encouraging women to start businesses with loans and such of course the number of them is going to rise. I didn’t say they don’t work and do normal things in society, doing the same as men doesn’t translate into becoming something great. Yeah I can say a huge percent of women I knew from childhood went to college and got jobs.. Some even opened businesses, but so did a large number of the men, But as we both know that doesn’t mean a site like this is any less needed. Culturally, however it’s terrible especially in the US, for both sexes. And What I said was I find more guys willing to try and better themselves, as in they humble themselves and realize their flaws and try to grow. That is not what I see often from the ladies. So it’s not about what standard your lady or guy friend stuck to growing up, ie; going to college getting a job, it’s what they do as a person to make their lives better, and how willing they are to do it.

Think about it this way, as a guy who is trying to raise the bar in his own life, I have begun to see appreciate those who take the same joirney, and I just don’t see it from them.

24 Daniel C. January 20, 2012 at 8:42 am

I would have thought Dash’s date would be wearing a skirt that went at least below the knee. Oh well … ;-) Maybe they’re going to a sporting event.

25 Titus January 20, 2012 at 8:56 am

Without disagreeing with the point of the post, why is Dim’s date so much better looking—or at least so much more elegant—than Dash’s?

26 Jeff January 20, 2012 at 9:11 am

@Titus – I think that’s the mother of Dim’s date wondering wtf is making all that racket in the driveway.

27 clint January 20, 2012 at 9:25 am

i wouldn’t expect much more from a grown man who hasn’t figured out how to wear a hat.obvious sign of his immature nature.

28 Rafael January 20, 2012 at 9:49 am

my grandmother used to say “Why is he honking at the door? This is a lack of respect! Looks like he’s at the door of a whorehouse.”

29 John January 20, 2012 at 10:17 am

At midnight, I ran across a frosty lawn in bare feet to let a young man know how inconsiderate he was to be beeping for his date to come out at that hour. Around here date’s don’t start until late for those over 21. Times have changed.

30 Tyler S. January 20, 2012 at 10:38 am

Have the girl pick you up…problem solved.

31 Ben January 20, 2012 at 10:48 am

This goes for picking your buddy up for work as well. I start work at 4 AM. I’d tear my buddy a new one if he honked for me at 3:45 AM. I don’t care if it’s winter, get out and knock or, yes, call (after you’re parked in the driveway). Don’t be an @$$ to the neighbors.

32 Jessie January 20, 2012 at 11:38 am

Unfortunately it seems many men don’t want these women that want to better themselves, aside from the shallow aspect. If a woman actually thinks for herself or differently she’s just crazy, or if it ain’t broke they’ve got nothing to fix. They are either intimidated by a woman that seems to have her shit together, be it the independent thing, or don’t know how to handle a girl that keeps it simple, treasures traditions, and is happy. It’s like men want a woman with issues so they can feel tough. Actually, the whole basis of this rant is about boys. I still believe there are real men out there, and even know a few, these just aren’t them that I’m referring to in this context. Men just have to man up. A girl might like a text from you because you’re thinking of her when she’s not around, but what she’d love is a phone call from you because you were so excited to tell her something or hear her voice. Or better yet, spend time with her and actually have something to say – that you didn’t run out of things to say after texting each other your every move all day. While I’d like to see the name of a certain man come across my phone as much as the next girl, I’d much rather be spending time with a seeing the smile on his face as he tells me some amazing thing that happened to him that day. Or when something bad happens I’d like to be there to kiss him and take his mind off of it if I can’t fix it, also because it’s an excuse to kiss – which makes me happy. That’s another thing, men and women like to do things to make someone happy that makes them happy. Unfortunately the days of being a bitch brought me a lot more men fighting for my attention, but I don’t wish to use that as an excuse to resign to being a bitch toward all men. People say that nice guys finish last. No, she’s just not that into you but you’re too nice for her to come out and just say it; plus, she doesn’t mind the attention. When you meet the right person, who respects you and loves the kind of person you are, you’ll be happy that you didn’t change because it brought you to that point in your life. While I believe that, a man must still man up. He is not going to get the woman he loves by sitting around hoping she knows or being afraid of being hurt. You can still treat a woman with respect and be a man. In fact, that’s what makes a good man great. I didn’t suggest being nice to ladies, treat them with respect. There’s a difference. I know many great men exist, they just don’t steal the limelight quite like the assholes having their fifteen minutes of fame.

33 Joseph January 20, 2012 at 11:41 am

Why is Dim even wearing his seat belt? Someone like that wouldn’t do that.

34 Bobby January 20, 2012 at 11:43 am

Dim will get the girl. Women are inherently attracted to alpha males, it’s an unfortunate but real aspect of evolutionary psychology.

Take the red pill men.

35 tim_lebsack January 20, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Is that an air scoop on Dim’s car?

36 Mike January 20, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Dim has a cool car, plus he’s got a hat on backwards and a toothpick- two hallmarks of awesomeness and the latter a clear hint at dental hygiene. He honks the horn happily for his date and she finds this amusing and joyfully trots out to him.

Dash is dressed like Richie Cunningham and has his name sewn into his jacket in case he loses it.

37 dgd January 20, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Dating is a lost art. It took me a while to learn to court a lady properly. Not that I have a complete understanding, but better than where I was a few years ago.

38 Chuck January 20, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Kinda sad that we have to remind men about this sort of thing. Thanks AoM, for taking one for the team and helping young heathens elevate themselves to a world of manliness.

39 Brucifer January 20, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Unfortunately, with so many, many Dims out there, women often don’t know how to respond to such courtesy. I’ve opened my passenger door for women and received either the deer-in-the-headlights look or some snippy pseudo-feminist comment because they’ve been taught that such actions equal chauvinism. And dropping off a date, properly waiting to insure she gets in her door safely, has sometimes led to being accused of *somehow* being “stalky.” Perhaps perish the thought I should actually walk Milady back to her door, she’d probably see that as a sign I was demanding to be invited in for sex.

In dating Dims, she hasn’t had much experience with courtesy. She probably is too used to brushing off an inch of Cheetos crumbs off his passenger seat and kicking beer cans aside so she’ll have some place to put her feet.

There are indeed a number of women out there who still much-appreciate courtesies. But because they either haven’t been raised properly to value them or they are too resigned to dating Dims, there are a plethora of women for whom courtesy and manners is ….. suspect.

And I must sadly concur with those that say FAR too many women are actually attracted to the Dims of the species.

40 Dan P January 20, 2012 at 1:53 pm

@Daniel C.

Dash’s date is wearing a long-ish blouse with pants, not just a super-micro skirt…

41 Math You January 20, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Another great Dim and Dash.

42 Math You January 20, 2012 at 3:14 pm

And by the way, Dim is really the insecure boy posing as the alpha dog. Dash is a true gentleman – not a feeble ‘nice guy’, but a man who confronts difficulty with the courage a man should. He has the tenderness to show his date the love and respect she deserves, and he also embodies the strength that Dim only pretends to have.

43 Jake January 20, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Nice guys do just fine with the right girl. The wrong ones like the wrong guys.

@ William – I teach high school, and I can tell you that the kids who are DOING things and acheiving things, and I don’t mean just sports, are 3:1 girls. 3:1 in honors classes, 3:1 in scholarships earned, 3:1 going to college, in the service clubs, etc, etc. Heck, even our girls teams are better than our boys teams in sports.

Women are poised to run the world, and that’s exactly why this website is necessary. We need to re-establish ourselves and be MEN in order to stay relevant in today’s world.

44 Ardyth January 20, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Unfortunately most of the comments here have much truth in them. I have been lucky enough to date real men, and have been educated in how to enjoy dating real men. I had the opportunity to date during the 70′s as a teenager, and, because I lost my first husband in the 1990′s, again as a mature adult in the early 21st century. The story was the same both times. Plenty of men invited me on quality dates and conducted themselves as gentlemen. The reason some of my girlfriends have not had the same experience is because they want something else. For example: one night my best friend and I were having an after dinner drink when she saw a handsome guy she wanted to meet. I smiled at his friend, then shyly looked away. A minute later I looked back to see if he was looking, gave him another smile, and looked down again. A few minutes later, the two young men asked to join us. The conversation was going well and we were making plans to see each other again. The taller of the two (the one my friend liked) turned to my friend and said, “You are so pretty, you must date a lot.” “No, only @$$holes ask me out.” Do you think a gentleman would care to join that club by inviting her to the theater? I couldn’t believe my ears. It may have been a slip of the tongue, but she didn’t fix it in the one brief moment possible, so suddenly I had two men to entertain . A few weeks later, I was still friends with the boys from the bar, and she was entangled in an abusive relationship with a bad boy and justifying it by saying “ladies love outlaws.” As a real lady, I can testify that the opposite is true: Ladies love real men, like Dash. In my case the real man in my life is named James.

45 Magnanimous_J January 20, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Picking your date up at her door is a basic courtesy. But as far as the other old school manners, your mileage may vary.

Opening car doors, bringing flowers for a first date, pulling out chairs, or ordering for your date could come off as cheesy, and unless you do it with total confidence, your date will probably think you’re a virgin.

However, offering your coat, having your car clean before picking her up, and not cursing excessively will go a long way.

I wouldn’t necessarily walk a date to the door at the end of the night, though. It could be interpreted as presuming I was about to close the deal. Unless of course, that is what I was doing.

Waiting until she gets safely inside before driving off is perfectly polite.

46 Donnie Lurker January 20, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Dash-Goes to the door
Donnie-Gets inside

47 Trisha January 20, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Great Article AoM! Kudos to @Jessie: You echo my sentiments superbly. Thank you!

48 Eric January 20, 2012 at 8:34 pm

Donnie Lurker,…isn’t that the name given to guys who have to stalk women in order to get anywhere near one?

49 zeus January 20, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Many guys don’t have a clue and sometimes just need a little guidance to understand what they’re doing wrong. What they think is cool others find annoying.

50 Chris M January 20, 2012 at 10:04 pm

I love these strips. I think a lot of them stem from having the confidence and instinct to just do the right thing. My dad taught a lot of that to me, and he still does even after I’ve moved away and started on my own. The best thing to build confidence and instinct is to just practice. It might seem hard to practice going on a date, but I have some very good female friends who I’ve asked to do just that, go on a practice date. I haven’t met a girl yet who doesn’t like to be treated right, and it’s even better if they can help you out in the process. I’ve made some really close friends that way, and some of those female friends I trust more than my guy friends. If you practice, it becomes an instinct. You won’t even think twice about walking up to the door, paying for dinner, holding a door open, or walking her to her car. If you’re confident, you’ll do these things in a non-threatening way that doesn’t come off as stalkerish. I think women know when you’re confident in what you do and you do it because that’s just who you are, rather than you trying to put on a show and get in their pants. I don’t even go to a date thinking of whether I want to do something more, I just go believing I’ll have a good time and meet someone nice, and if it turns out to be more, great! It can be risky. You can hurt someone’s feelings, but I think that as long as you and your practice date have a good agreement, it goes fine. Guys can sense that confidence in each other, and women can sense it just as well. Practice builds confidence!

51 Waylander January 20, 2012 at 11:10 pm

I love these strips, but I can’t help but feel some slight despair that they are even necessary. Thankfully my father raised me true and proud to good old-fashioned manners and common sense. I’m proud to say that too this day a military upbringing has served me well.

52 Brett January 20, 2012 at 11:58 pm

Dim gosh you look so cool doing it ha ha.

53 Hutch January 21, 2012 at 2:37 am

Looks like Dash is nervous. His feet aren’t planted, he’s got shaky lines drawn around his legs. Dim looks like his is a sure thing. If you’re complaining about women not liking “nice guys” you might take a note. If a 125 lb powder-nosed princess makes you look like you’re going to fall over, you don’t look too secure.

54 Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff January 21, 2012 at 3:34 am

The guy in your anecdote has a point. But you also say that no one walks you to the door at all; when literally every guy you date is driving off immediately, you have to at some point stop and think and wonder if maybe YOU’RE the problem.

55 Ceecee January 21, 2012 at 12:02 pm

I have a boyfriend who recently refused to walk me to my car after several dates, leaving me standing in a dark parking lot! Recently, he told me that for 7 years he lied about his age and that he’s actually 11 years older! He continues to tell lies and hold secrets in. We have allegedly dated for about the past 4 years exclusively. I don’t believe a word he says anymore, I don’t care how nice and humble he comes across. He even stopped calling me to talk during the week after we started dating more because he said he can’t think of anything to say. In addition, I am totally bored with him wanting to do the same thing all the time, like watch movies, and I need to end this. Every time I do, he comes back begging. I think I have developed low self esteem at the age of 43 and still being single. I have not had many boyfriends in my life, to boot. Anyway. not wanting to be alone again, I let him back in my life like a dummy. However, I will be leaving to relocate to another state next year and that will finally and totally cut him off. He strings me along and like a dummy, and I have let him for long enough. Your thoughts?

56 Kat January 21, 2012 at 12:04 pm

If I can throw in my two cents here as a twenty-something year old female, I would argue that it’s frustrating for many women who are single, independent, financially and emotionally stable and who want to be asked out by someone nice, funny, respectful, etc, yet only seem to attract the “Dims” of the world. It makes us wonder what it is exactly that we’re doing wrong, and we wonder where all the good men are. Or maybe my generation simply doesn’t know how to date anymore; I’m not too sure.

On the other hand, I have to point out that a lot of women today have double standards for men that are pretty much impossible to meet: tough, but emotionally sensitive when needed; sexy, but not too sexy; masculine, and yet appreciative of the finer things in life, etc etc…And I’ve seen plenty of women going for the “alpha” make over the stereotypical “nice guy”, so women aren’t completely innocent in all of this gender confusion. I think an art-of-womanliness site would be a great idea, personally.

57 Ceecee January 21, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Well, I just need someone who is honest, has some goals for his life, is not an OVERaged teenager, loves God, and has no problem saying he wants to build a future with me. :)

58 Ceecee January 21, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Still, I know that there are many, many wonderful Dashes out there, and they have all my respect and appreciation! :>

59 Ngdoms January 21, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Pretty good points Kat, i feel like sometimes being a gentleman can equate to being too soft or nice. I also believe that those who try the most get the most so while you may look around and see how some dbag is always dating your friends, realize that the dbag prob asked out a dozen girls or more before he even got to your friends……something to be said to having no shame to ask out every girl in a club, one of them is bound to say yes! haha.

I also think that asking a girl out can be intimidating for most decent guys because the fact is that american women tend to group themselves together in impenetrable circles of friends so that the male would have to not just talk to the girl he is interested in, but have to “flirt” with the whole group…which can be intimidating and unproductive if even one of the friends doesn’t like the cut of his gib. There is something to be said for that i suppose, but i suspect that this might have a curtailing effect that only allows the most shameless to approach in most situations (which is why i never approach a woman who is in a group of more than 3 unless i have friends with me). I sometimes feel that all women think of at a club or bar is: any guy who hits on me just wants to get laid, so I’m going to be standoffish and avoid them. so for all us gents who just want to talk get pegged with the dbags of the world……Oddly enough i never have this problem when i travel abroad, especially to mexico and europe…..maybe the women there have better defense mechanisms to weed out the dbags? i do not know

60 Mike January 21, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Dim wears a backwards hat on a date like a d-bag – Dash dresses to impress.

61 JohnT January 21, 2012 at 3:29 pm

I am in a relationship with a brilliant and beautiful young woman who is a feminist like myself. People throw the word “feminist” around like it’s a bad thing when she just wants the same opportunities as everyone else. This doesn’t make her a “man hater,” nor does it mean that she doesn’t love the fact that I do my best to always be a perfect gentleman with her.

62 Ron Keck January 21, 2012 at 3:47 pm

When I was dating, any gorl who caught my eye rated at least the common courtesy of my going to the door, and meeting her parents. When my daughter recieved gentleman callers, they came to the door. If a young man pulled up in from of the house and honked, he’d better have been making a delivery, because he sure as hell wouldn’t be picking anything up. Better luck next time, Don Juan.

63 Heather January 21, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Do guys really honk anymore? I’ve never had that happen to me.

(Now texting, I’ve had guys text me instead of coming to the door)

64 Brian January 22, 2012 at 12:25 am

Wow. Granted its been 20 years since I dated but DIM and DASH still exist. I can’t remember how many women told me that I was “Too Nice” for them. Mainly because I acted like a gentleman and treated them with some respect. I was fairly shy as well so that came into play as well. For the “Nice Guy’s” out there it will happen for you! I have seen a few of the gals that called me to nice and they are now divorced from their non nice picks. Chalk it up as experience and move on!

65 Oh please! January 22, 2012 at 10:10 am

“Dim will get the girl. Women are inherently attracted to alpha males, it’s an unfortunate but real aspect of evolutionary psychology.”

Only the kind of desperate geeks who go to “PUA” seminars and buy “phermone cologne” use the word “alpha male”. Furthermore, only they think being an obnoxious clown makes you one.


66 JJ Walker January 22, 2012 at 12:03 pm

It is rather obvious that Dim doesn’t want to break away from a gripping story on NPR.

67 Victor January 22, 2012 at 2:41 pm

This is an excellent theory (and as a rule I would rarely break it) but if from this we extrapolate an opinion on how the date goes (as many comments above do), Dash ends up with a bottle of Vaseline and a sears magazine (because porn denigrates women) and Dim finds a new exciting friend. This isn’t often discussed on AoM (probably due to an incredible lack of knowledge) but I’ll elaborate.

In my experience, Dim and the girl have a great date (or two) leading to a couple months of late night ‘hang-outs’. She likes the simplicity of the relationship and his low expectations of what she is to him. She usually has a great time and has a ‘void’ (literal and figurative) in her life filled. Dim doesn’t do much to actively impress the girl, only respects her, enjoys her company and provides her with attention. Both Dim and his date have a great time then, occasionally, Dim or his date forget that, unlike Dash, all Dim did when he arrived was honk his horn. Sometimes Dim has to break it off, sometimes Dim has to accept that this incredible girl doesn’t take him seriously. Sometimes they are both satisfied with the relationship, become friends, and maintain an excellent memory of how they came to know each other.

Dash, on the other hand, is looking for a great girl. He is willing to win over every girl in hopes she will be ‘the one’. He avoids starting a ‘physical-type relationship’ because he wants the girl to know he is looking for more than that or he doesn’t want to mislead her. When Dash isn’t convinced she then struggles with the fact that Dash doesn’t want a second date.

Here is the catch 22. The girl that Dash is looking for is out having a fun time with Dim. She is independent, exciting and wants to have fun and be silly with Dim.

Sometimes Dash manages to finally get a date with his perfect girl but because he is such a gentleman she is bored and categorizes him in the ‘boring, too nice, gentleman box’. She knows everything about him (she thinks) because he treats her so well. But he creates ‘expectations’ and ‘complications’ in her life. He doesn’t try and skip to the physical bits out of respect but this apparently puts her on the defensive because he doesn’t take action.

Now at 25 this is my perspective of the women of the world. The Dash in me lost an unbelievable girl and should have pretended to be Dim(!!). The Dim in me starts great relationship with girls but ends up ending it once she decides she wants to go from fun to serious. Dim also wanted to get serious with two dates, but neither took him seriously.

On the next date which would you be, Dim or Dash?

68 Devlin January 22, 2012 at 10:37 pm

@ Daniel C. – Dash’s date is wearing pants.

It looks to me like Dash should be providing his date with a helmet.

69 Karl January 23, 2012 at 12:42 am

Someone above made a comment about calling/texting is the same as honking. I really do agree, but I’m still in college and if my date lives in a dorm, I have no choice but to give her a short call (never a text) and let her know I’ve arrived seeing as I can’t gain entry into her building. I still meet her at the dorm entrance though! It’s close as I’ll be able to (:

70 JCRogers January 23, 2012 at 12:55 am

Is it just me or does it look like Dash is vibrating?

71 Moeregaard January 23, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Who are we kidding here? We all know that both girls will end up marrying Dim types–maybe more than once–and by the time they’re back on the dating scene in their 30s and 40s, will be complete messes with two, three or four kids in tow. Then, their gal pals will try to fix them up on a blind date with some unsuspecting nice guy in the hope that he will somehow “fix” their friend.

I wish I had a dollar for every time one of my female friends told me about a girl “who’s really sweet, but has had a few ‘problems’ and now just wants to meet a nice guy.” I’ve bought dinners for women with multiple baby-daddies (whereabouts often unknown), drug and alcohol problems, an ex-con, and one who was “…a sweet gal with a great sense of humor.” This latter description is a euphemism for morbid obesity. I could write a book on this stuff!

Working under the assumption that these guys have been fixed up on blind dates, Dim is WAY better prepared to get the hell out of there when some 200-lb. train wreck answers the door than is Dash, who will most likely spend the evening trying not to look at his watch.

All kidding aside, when I do take someone out, I always try to make the evening so special that my date can say she had a great time even if there isn’t going to be a second outing. Always take the high road. Great discussion!

72 Edward January 23, 2012 at 6:04 pm

@Victor: Been there. Now in my late twenties, I’ve discovered that woman have matured a bit, and respect the ‘Dash’ type character.

In short, it apparently works to be a ‘Dim’ when you are on the younger side of 25, and a ‘Dash’ when you are over that age.

Of course, habits once set are hard to break…

73 Jessie January 23, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Kat had terrific points. Women do begin to wonder if they’ve been the one doing something wrong. Often, admittedly, we have. We’ve made less than ideal choices in dating – either in who we date, how we act, letting a relationship that isn’t working go on too long, or letting ourselves believe something exists where it does not. By the last I mean that on either end, we even continue to try to be friends with someone that we have no real interest in until we get accustomed to their company; or even become great friends and begin to create feelings when you know it’ll never work. I admit to pushing a man away or not giving him the time of day because he was nice or brought me flowers the first time. There were a combination of reasons for me doing so. The fact that he was so nice so quickly did appear suspect to me, as someone put it. I didn’t think it sincere and thought I might just be another girl of many he courted or that I might be all he had and was desperate to hold on, not that he might have an actual genuine interest in me. The other problem was that I was 22 and had been in a relationship since a teenager. Neither is a good excuse, but in retrospect I’m still glad I did it even though I missed the opportunity with an amazing man. Since then I’ve matured and learned a lot. In the meantime I haven’t always made decisions I’m proud of, but they’ve made me who I am. I spent some time with him recently, after a few years, and was reminded what a wonderful person he is. It’s unfortunate that I didn’t appreciate him then but I’m glad I didn’t drag him through the mud like boys I toyed with in days past. Everyday and every situation is a learning process. Women make mistakes, as do men. We miss out on a good person sometimes, but I like to think we learn from it – and the romantic in me likes to believe that there is a right person, at the right time, and those experiences make you a better person. wow, I got mushy.

74 Brandon Weldy January 23, 2012 at 10:17 pm

If I ever have a daughter and Dim comes for her you better believe she won’t be going on that date. If he does not feel she is worth coming to the door then he does not deserve her!

75 Brandon January 24, 2012 at 12:30 am

Moeregaard is on the right path…. always have an exit strategy. LOL.

Face it, rad cars are exciting and get girls with skirts and heels. He didn’t honk – she heard it coming down the block…. she’s ready to go have fun. The smell of the interior and the vibrations of the car are stimulating enough to wind her up… LOL.

Dash, on the other hand, pulled up in his Sonata and the dog didn’t even bark. Shelly No-touch is ready for a free dinner at a place her friends like, like the Macaroni Grille, and a few hours of no talking during a movie. Then a peck on the cheek because he’s “sweet” and into the friends zone in a few weeks… Hehehe.

76 Moeregaard January 24, 2012 at 11:23 am

Brandon is correct. At the very least, the girl who goes out with the bad boy will have something to whine about to her friends. Let’s face it; there will always be that large percentage of gals who enjoy being treated like sh*t so that they have something to complain about. No Touch Shelly on the other hand will always have Dash to confide in!

77 Corey Krueger January 24, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Hilarious. Check out how these douchebags pick up their dates.

78 don Roberto January 25, 2012 at 1:19 am

I have an eight-year-old daughter. When she gets to dating age, I plan to live by the maxim “If you pull up and honk, you’d best be making a delivery, because sure as Hel you’re not picking up.”

79 Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff January 25, 2012 at 5:03 am

Dim’s getting on with his life and having fun.

Dash is at home writing comments on blog posts instead.

80 Ceecee January 25, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Matured women with good foresight go for Dash.

81 Halbert January 27, 2012 at 7:36 am

Dim will most certainly get sum snooch time.

Dash will soon race home to be with his hand.

Moral: Don’t be a Dash.

82 Hislocal January 27, 2012 at 10:00 am

Here’s the problem – it all starts in high school. The Dim’s are the cool guys/bad boys, and that’s what teenage girls like. So the Dim’s get all the action. The Dash’s try to act like they’re from their grandfather’s generation, which makes girls not want to go out with them. Fast forward a few years, and (some of) the Dim’s have matured and are now the confident, respectful Dash’s that we all want to be, because they’ve had a lifetime of actual dating to build real honest-to-goodness confidence. The guys who were Dash’s in high school didn’t date a lot, didn’t build up real confidence, and are uncool guys as adults because of it.

So the moral of the story is, you need to be a Dim first and then mature into a Dash, otherwise you’re just pretending to be a Dash by reading articles on how to act gentlemanly, rather than naturally evolving into a confident Dash.

83 smashing January 28, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Here’s Truth: girls like Dim, that’s why he can be so callous and rude – he wouldn’t behave this way if he wasn’t so awesome that women crawl all over him. Dash behaves as he does because he is desperate and can’t get any action. The women whom Dash treats so baroquely are the cold/dried up/bags who aren’t giving out any candy in any case. Boys: be Dim, forget Dash – this is the same as saying be carefree assholes & women will like you better. Be uptight momma’s boys and the women will laugh at you and flee.

84 Dash Douglas January 29, 2012 at 5:03 am

Dash may just be the coolest name. Ever.

85 Wayne January 29, 2012 at 11:07 am

Guys, stop downplaying what Dash or Dim are doing. It’s all about balance.

When I first started dating my girlfriend, I was more of a Dim than Dash but as time went by and we fell in love, I became a Dash but remained a Dim in bed.

It’s all about balance, and always look at it from the point of the woman’s… If you’re like Dash in the beginning, it may come off as needy.

86 Buddy January 30, 2012 at 7:32 pm

I was going to say, Dash isn’t getting any by being the nice guy, that’s for sure. That’s a pre-purchased one-way express ticket to the friendzone. It seems women these days have lost their abilities to tell the difference between the jerk, aka “Dim”, and the alpha male; they also have a hard time telling the difference between the guy that truly cares about them, aka “Dash” and a sissy who they’ll throw in the friendzone faster than Dim can honk his horn. That’s just some hard-earned experience talking.

87 Dominic January 31, 2012 at 11:25 pm

I believe a wise red neck put it best:

“If you show up to my place and honk the horn, you’d better be dropping something off, cause you SURE ain’t picking anything up.”

88 Danimal February 3, 2012 at 12:41 am

Honestly most of us just have to man up and simply ask her out. Dont be too cheesy. Like Chris M said, be confident. Women would fall into your arms if you’re confident. It doesnt matter if you are ugly, short, or fat. Guys, just be confident. It will take a lot of practice and like CHris M said, try it out on one of your female friends.

I have to admit I am not the greatest dater and I’ve been rejected several times. But you cant take the rejection too emotionally. Theres really such thing as a bad boy. The Dim guy is just extremely confident. Dash on the other hand is a bit nervous but has confidence as well.

So I guess what I am trying to say is be confident! Forget everything else. If you like her, ask her out!

89 Em February 4, 2012 at 4:00 pm

I think art of manliness should do a post for all the men who think there should be an “art of womanliness”. There is and this book is it: http://www.healthhouse.co.nz/freestuff/fascinating-womanhood-book-(4mb).pdf

90 Michael February 8, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Yeah I have seen this many of times!!!

91 FeatherBlade March 2, 2013 at 8:37 pm

To all those who say acting like Dim will get you the girl – if she has any sense of self-preservation or self-worth, she’ll be shutting that door and DIm won’t have a date at all, much less one with an R-rated ending,

92 Ed October 7, 2013 at 1:09 pm

several guys have asked if there is a website like this for ladies. Yes there is:


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