Womanly Things We Wish Women Still Did?

Last month the website Madame Noire posted a list of the “7 Manly Things We Wish Men Still Did.” I don’t recommend clicking over there, because they do that super annoying website thing where each item on the list is put on a different page and there’s a pop-up audio play ad running. So here’s the list:

  • Move Out of Their Mothers’ Houses
  • Insist on Paying the Bill
  • Dialing Our Number (as opposed to texting)
  • Hold the Door Open for a Stranger
  • Keep Us Warm (give a lady your jacket)
  • Help Us with Our Bags
  • Have a Signature Aftershave

What’s interesting, is that over the years people have sent us several iterations of this kind of article, but we’ve yet to see a list by men of things they wish women still did. Because of course, writing such a list would get you clobbered over the head with charges of sexism. This double-standard generally extends to all articles about the sexes these days–it is generally okay to complain about the deficiencies of men, but never women. One cannot imagine an article entitled “The End of Women” or “Where Have All the Good Women Gone?”

Whenever you read an article like this, in the comments there are always complaints that women want to have it both ways–to be equal and independent and be treated with chivalry. And some guy always says something like, “Well I’ll go back to doing some of these old fashioned things for women, when women start bringing back some old fashioned things too.”

So a few points for discussion:

-Are there old fashioned things that you wish women still did?

-Or do you think that neither men nor women should be expected to do any old fashioned things?

-Or do you think that men should have to still do old fashioned things, but not women?

Hat tip to Darren for this link.

 

{ 116 comments… read them below or add one }

Mack Bee November 26, 2011 at 6:38 am

1. Dressing with the following three things in mind: Dignity, Modesty, and Class. I’m not saying that you have to have the latest styles (which are typically immodest, undignified, and unclassy). A good woman, or rather a lady, can take a modern style and make it dignified, modest, and classy. She can even breathe new life into something old. Nothing wrong with the second-hand store. Some of those things can be downplayed on the homefront. I wouldn’t expect my wife to wear her Sunday best dress, stockings (with the seams in the back that Matt mentioned – I like those too), and heels while cleaning the house, washing laundry, or cooking supper. Sunday best is only expected for church or formal functions, i.e. having guests for dinner. Going out in public – for instance, shopping – doesn’t require the Sunday best look, but also not look like someone on People of Walmart. A halfway decent dress or skirt will do just fine, as will a pair of flats if you’re not comfortable in heels all the time, and nylons are optional, but will add to a classy and dignified look.

2. Learn how to sew. Like I mentioned before, it helps to know how to sew. Then you don’t necessarily have to buy clothes that are immodest, indecent, or trashy. I hear women complain about how men oogle them when they dress like sluts. Women who know how to sew their own clothes don’t have that problem. A young lady I know from church started her own dress-making business, and dresses are not all she makes! She’s made vests and ties for her brothers, and even tailored their suits and trousers.

3. Cook and/or bake (or as previously mentioned by someone else, have the desire to learn to do so). The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach the old saying goes. A woman who knows how to cook or bake will never have an unhappy man. And ladies, I’m not saying a man shouldn’t cook. On the contrary, a man should give his beloved a “day off” here and there. I, for one, am capable of cooking a fairly good meal, baking a decent cake or pie, and making a good meatloaf and mashed potatoes or stuffed cabbage for dinner. And I’ll even take care of the dishes afterward!

4. Tattoos! Why do you ladies get these things? Too often, I see lovely women going out to the local tattoo parlour to get inked. And at that, they’re getting ink where the whole world can see. And with the immodest attire that they wear, they’ve got tramp stamps, boob tattoos, all over their legs, their backs, their arms, necks, you name it! They start looking like Sailors or bikers! Lest anybody think I hold a double standard, I don’t think a gentleman should get tattooed either. I don’t have them, and I was a Marine! And how many people in their 40s and 50s regret getting inked in their youth? Remember: a lifetime is a long time to pay for the stupidity of youth.

5. Your conversation. It’s been covered a bit here before. Avoid profanity/abuse of the Holy Name. I was a Marine, and I’m still working on cleaning up my speech. I don’t utter too much profanity. My Drill Instructors say that it is Discipline and Spirit that make a Marine. Constant use of profanity and abuse of the Holy Name shows a lack of discipline. And how many times have you ladies used, “I swear to God,” in your speech? Are you taking an oath in court? Why do you swear to God so frivolously? At that, why are exclamations always, “Oh my God!?” (It cracks me up when atheists exclaim “Oh my God!” when they don’t even believe in Him.)

6. Host parties. A good woman is a most gracious hostess, much like a good man is a most gracious host. Offer to take your guests coats and/or hats. If you know how to cook, you can make excellent hors d’oveurs (I think I may have botched the spelling there). You would know a good wine or beer to serve, depending on whether it’s a holiday party, or folks coming over for cards on a Saturday night.

I think that pretty much covers everything here.

Nick November 26, 2011 at 10:37 am

Wow well given this opportunity I will keep it simple:

1. Be kind again. Beautiful women these days are cruel heartless creatures. Whenever I am curtious to them they give me a crazy look like “what the hell?”
2. Stop lieing to try to impress us, men don’t need to be lied to in order to be impressed; I quote Jeff Foxworthy: “All men want is a beer and to see something naked.” So stay classy and don’t try to impress us because we are geniunely fond of honesty in a woman because it means we can trust them.
3. Treat yourself and others with dignity, don’t smoke cigars, its NOT lady like. Don’t get tattoos in ridiculous places and don’t do cocaine cause that will make you a whore.
4. Be appreciative and don’t act like you expect me to do something for you, if I am going to be curtious than I will do so through dignity and grace and not through someone giving me an attitude.

Harry Knox November 26, 2011 at 11:04 am

this takes me back.makes me think of my grandmother,whom i never once saw in pants.she worked in a shoeshop,cooked,but always found time for us kids. did it all,and without bitchin about it . sure miss her.

Mike Dalton November 26, 2011 at 3:06 pm

Real men don’t even know what a signature aftershave is…

Mike Dalton November 26, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Btw, what is a signature aftershave?

Guy November 26, 2011 at 4:56 pm

Mack-Bee +1

John November 26, 2011 at 10:04 pm

Mack Bee hit my biggest peeves right on the head.

Dress appropriately! I’m so tired of seeing women in public in thier PJ’s or sweats. I’m not opposed to jeans if they are a modest cut. When I’m not doing physical labor I go out of my way to be sure I’m wearing a collared shirt and everything is clean. I would really appreciate a similar ammount of effort. Don’t over do the perfume. Believe it or not unless we’ve been at the gym working out, you probably smell pretty good without it. A little bit goes a long way

Tats are only half of it. excessive piercings are just as bad. A small taseful tatoo placed in the right place can be very attractive. Cartoon characters or plastering half your body is just unattractive. Having so much metal in your head that you can’t get through an airport metal detector is disgusting.

Foul language is way overused by both sexes. It’s also shows a lack of intellegence. Try reading a book or watching a movie. Anything that gives us something to talk about besides the weather.

Learn to be gracious. I like to open doors. I’ll pick up the tab. I’ll do alot. I don’t expect you to go out of your way to acknowledge it. I would like a small amount of apreciation. Be kind to strangers without coming accross as condecending. I used to be part owner in a restaraunt. Treat the waitstaff with respect.

Alcohol!! Be in control. The best way to make me think you are a bimbo is to not know your limits. A drink or two is great. If three make you slur words and make you giddy. Stop at two.

Not that this matters that much anymore. I met someone 6 years ago that already knew these things. I wasted no time in making sure she didn’t get away.

John

Heather Marie November 27, 2011 at 7:48 pm

Class Class Class. It goes such a long way. As for BOTH sexes, I think nothing is more fetching than an extensive vocabulary and vast intellect. I like to be surprised by peoples’ brains. So sad it’s so rare.

Jonathan November 27, 2011 at 10:49 pm

First I am pretty sure the women who read this are not the ones who need the help.
1. Ladies please say no to the muffin top. Wearing tops, as well as pants, that are too tight make you look like an overstuffed sausage.
2. Please stop wearing pajamas in public. When I am getting my morning Diet Coke, I don’t want to see you stroll by with no bra, wearing a dirty wrinkled Twilight t shirt, Bud Lite flannel pajama bottoms and slippers. (This was a real life sighting)
3. Everyone should stop wearing crocs!
4. Quit comparing yourselves to what you see in a magazine or on tv.
5. Say no to tats on the neck and breasts! Not attractive!
6.Skinny jeans should be banned as should high waisted mom jeans with no pockets.
7. There is nothing wrong with normal hair color especially when you are considering hot pink as a change.

Ctace Palasin November 28, 2011 at 2:34 am

1) Stop wearing shorts that are cut so short that it leaves nothing to the imagination.
2) Stop wearing jeans or shorts so lowcut we can see we can almost see what we didn’t bargin for.
3) Stop wearing tops so low we can see your belly button.
4) Start being ladylike and stop swearing and cursing (its not even manly to swear let alone ladylike)
5) Start dressing smart and and attractive
6) Stop acting like you have now grown a male appendage and be a woman
7) Say thank you when a man opens the door, or pulls your seat out or helps you with your jacket.

Adam sandoval November 28, 2011 at 7:15 am

Its a lot easier to respect a woman if she respects herself. Clown make-up, and revealing clothes don’t make up for your poor manners and personality that resembles on old moldy shoe. Oh and try just smiling once in awhile, it doesn’t matter if it betrays your cold metropolitan exterior… no one was buying that any how.

CombatMissionary November 28, 2011 at 11:53 am

A lot of this has already been touched on here, but here’s my two cents:
1. Be proud to be a lady. The other day I saw a woman in a skirt, and I actually did a double-take. Yeah, it’s getting THAT rare to see a woman dress attractively and in a feminine manner. I miss it.
2. Swear off foul language. If I wanted to date someone that can curse like a sailor, I’d relocate to the nearest Navy installation.
3. Be cheerful. It may sound saccharine, but honestly, the most attractive feature a woman has is her smile. I spend most of my day fighting the forces of evil and the armies of stupidity. You can have a bad day just like me, and I’m here for you to lean on, but I want to date someone who gives me something to fight for. I don’t want to date someone as jaded and cynical as I get sometimes.
4. Dress attractively, not like a slut. There’s a difference. Learn it.
5. Don’t use tobacco or alcohol. I’m disgusted when I see guys on post dipping, smoking, drinking, etc. I am even MORE turned off by a woman who does it.
6. Don’t get tattoos or body piercings.
7. No insane hairstyles and weird hair color.
8. Don’t define yourself by who you’re dating. Get an education, a career, give service. Nobody worth being with wants to date someone who’s shallow, co-dependent, a doormat, wishy-washy, etc. After you’re married, devote yourself completely to your spouse. You’ve been made “one flesh” at that point; you should both be defining yourself as part of a bigger whole at that point. But if you aren’t a complete individual, you can’t be a complete part of the marriage.
9. Command respect. Treat people with courtesy and grace, and don’t tolerate it when other people fail to do so.

Really, this is good advice for both genders. It boils down to some simple things.
Treat yourself with enough respect to dress well without being a slave to worldly fashion. Don’t use stimulants. Take care of your body, don’t alter it with ink, piercings or surgery without necessity. Control your tongue. Be a healthy, well-rounded individual. Be kind and gracious. Be cheerful. Be a hard worker. Sometimes I think we all focus too much on FINDING the right person to be with, and we’re not nearly concerned enough about BEING the right person to be with.

Anyway, I’m blessed, I found someone who embodies all of the above years ago and somehow managed to convince her to marry me. I’ve never regretted it for a minute.

JollyG November 28, 2011 at 2:48 pm

I’d really like to see them stop wearing jeans so often. Sure, they’re okay if out camping or horseback riding, but 7 days/week?

Living in rural America, it would be nice to see them graduate High School without a baby as well. If your wonderful boyfriend isn’t concerned about knocking you up, maybe you should be. Despite what you think, you are not an adult yet, don’t know it all, and kids early in life can really mess up future plans.

Richard C. Skrzypinski November 28, 2011 at 8:36 pm

-Stop rubbing your backside against another mans erection while you are out at a night club. That is not dancing you just come off as an easy whore.
-Do not over drink(both sexes),noboody likes the sloppy drunk who is passed out in a toilet bowl.
-Tattoos are okay, as are peircings but in moderation.
-When a man offers to help you with something it is not an insult, it has been beaten into our brains by our mothers and grandmothers. We just want to help.
-Please stop wear your pajamas in public.
-If it does not fit throw it away of donate it.
- Make up in moderation you do not want to look like a two dollars whore.
-Stop using the word”like” when you are not compairing something.

oldefashionedgirl November 29, 2011 at 1:07 am

Ha, I’m liking this conversation. I’m a girl. I like to be pretty. I wear knee-length-and-below dresses and skirts every day of my life (because I want to, not because I’m Amish . . . though I kinda-sorta-really think Amish people are cool), I knit and sew and cook. I don’t swear or smoke or drink or do that sort of thing. I like chivalry. I would love to be a stay-at-home mom after I get married.

In high school, nobody thought that was cool. I was Dorky McDorkington. In college, though, people started thinking maybe it was.

Stephen Kohn November 29, 2011 at 1:25 am

Mack hit the nail quite squarely.

To add on to it…

Women in the past were wives, mothers, and home makers by choice, not because they had no skills. The skill set of the average 1800 woman on the plains was so extensive and mastered that people today dream of coming close. These women took care of the family, the cooking, and plenty of chores around the homestead. They cooked, sewed, canned, dried, gardened, knitted, raised animals, home-schooled, and still had time to sit down and enjoy themselves. They were proud, and respected themselves. They did not reveal themselves to those who were not their husband, and dressed with modesty AND beauty in mind. Again, they were both modest AND beautiful. Men need to realize that in supporting your wife dressing like she is single and on the prowl, you will inspire men to lust after the woman who dignity you swore to protect. Most women try so hard to please the men in their lives and we shamefully abuse this amazing gift.

Now our society has changed and we have lost touch with our roots, but women still exist who believe that they can get what they want from the world by doing themselves and their morals right, and they don’t need to show off the goods to get it. These women WANT to play the role they happen to be so good at. They don’t rebel simply because the common role of women was to raise a family, or support a hardworking husband. It’s not a burden to have a wonderful ability that results in a beautiful family. It’s not beneath anyone to be a mother and wife. I’m not against women in the workplace, so long as it’s reasons are not selfish in their need. You do what you must, but you don’t sacrifice the love of your children to a daycare worker simply so you can get recognized by strangers who don’t care much about you. Those who love you most are sacrificed for a fantasy of worth. No one in the workplace will ever love you like you family will, and that should always be enough. It’s becoming obvious that many women of the world rebel against the old roles BECAUSE they are so difficult to do, and yet so vital.

A man is a loser for not providing for his families financial needs, but a woman is applauded for forsaking the emotional and spiritual needs of her husband and children. Families all around us are falling apart because a woman is “to good” to be stuck at home. Yet most of the greatest men in history were great because of a woman. Without that inspiration, they would have become nothing. My wife wants to raise my children, and see them become great men and women themselves, and she will have my eternal gratitude for the effort she will put forth in this endeavor. She will do what I cannot, and I will do what she cannot, and together, by this method, we will create our legacy and through them, be remembered.

Brandi November 29, 2011 at 3:56 am

Arturo is completely right. It’s not about having a signature aftershave(honestly guys, I want to kiss your cheek and not be repeled by the chemical smell of aftershave, your face smells fine as long as you wash it I promise) or about wearing a dress(this is another ‘you’ll just have to trust me on this’ moments, chasing after a toddler in a dress is one of the hardest and most inconvienent things to do). It’s about showing the person you’re with that you have respect and love for them as a friend, a lover, and family member, or whatever have you. I bake for my boyfriend because I want him to enjoy something that I made by hand while thinking of him. I want him to open the door for me because he wants to be helpful rather than because he feels he HAS to. In this economy it’s unrealistic to expect a guy to pick up the bill every time you go out on a date. To go back to dresses for a moment, let me just say that I wear a dress. But that just makes it special, like him wearing slacks. I wear jeans because it allows me to slide across gass and carpet and cement to play with my daughter, or catch her when she falls. Don’t knock jeans just because they aren’t what June Cleaver wore. My jeans make me ladylike because they allow me to be an active and caring mother to a VERY active little girl.

Linda Paschke November 29, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Wow, I am so pleased to read that men want what they have always wanted…or do they? I told my husbands that I was going to stay home when babies came along, and I did. Yes, husband(s)…three, with one child from each. I breast fed because boobs are for babies, shopped, cooked, canned, set formal tables for holidays, cleaned up afterwards, taught my children to read, attended every parent-teacher conference, dentist and doctor appointment, and got my children baptized and confirmed in my family’s tradition. My husband’s, meanwhile, were busy getting fired, having affairs, and buying the bar rounds! Who with? You gussed it, those slutty, foul-mouthed, drinking, cigarette-smoking, tattooed & pierced women, and their fellow drinking buddies. Maybe men want it both ways? I’m now 54, single, and have no social security to look forward to, and am just starting a carreer. So, will I change? Not on your life? I opened my own barbershop, cuz I enjoy men, and someday maybe I’ll find one who appreciates the qualities I have. I still have my wonderful children, wonderful because of my efforts.

Kevin Daley November 29, 2011 at 7:16 pm

1. Start a site like this one where you learn about the old ways of women with class.
2. Learn to write.
3. Wear something appropriate and marginally less frumpy (I don’t know women’s style, but I do know what I detest). Don’t worry about looking like the women in the magazines, because real men don’t read those.
4. Don’t date men just because they’re there; it shows weakness, and the more suitable men are left single.
5. Take up a hobby, or learn a craft, or get a job. Don’t just sit around and gossip or idle.
6. Learn how to survive without our company for months at a time in a pinch.
7. Don’t give us direct orders. It’s rude and completely distorts the nature and purpose of relationships between genders.
8. Don’t let what men think of you influence how you behave, especially when they’re not around. We wouldn’t do it for you either…

C.S. November 30, 2011 at 12:47 am

Mack Bee +2 & Dittos to CombatMissionary
I add:
1. Understand that most MEN are not trying to rob you of your rights, liberties or happiness. We want to place a divine woman, our personal Goddess, on a pedestal and spend our lives making her happy; treating her with kindness and respect and have a desire to shower her with love. (not sex) So, tell your inner feminist to pound sand–she’s doing you no favors.
2. Realize that a MAN has an innate drive to guide, protect and provide for his woman. If your man does not want this, either he is not a MAN or does not regard you as a divine woman. If this one tipped you over, see #1.
3. Become a Divine WOMAN. Be the Goddess. (Do not confuse ‘Goddess’ with diva or princess. Only tools are attracted to these sorts of females and you will never find respect. Anywhere.)
4. Cherish your femininity. Foster it. Protect it. When you do, MEN will move mountains for you. The tools will run in fear.
4A. A vulgar woman is 10X more vulgar than a vulgar man; if not in fact, certainly in perception. Sweatshirts, man pants, nail biting, belching and other such behavior is repulsive. The tools who laugh at this behavior are laughing AT YOU, not with you and the MEN who witness it ache with embarrassment for you. Acquire some dignity.
5. Recognize that as you do the things that most of these MEN have listed you will move into a very rare category of WOMAN and will be more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
6. Ignore the world. Hollywood, magazines, record labels and media in general understand that sex sells. What they don’t tell you is who they are selling to. Their customers are cheap, uncouth, immoral, indecent, disrespectful and bestial. When they ‘buy’, the purchase is disposable and they use the ‘product’ just as they use a restroom. When the need is gone, the toilet is forgotten. When the need returns, any old toilet will do. So…IGNORE THE WORLD and stop trying to put yourself in the ‘bargain bin.’
7. Remember: DIVINE WOMAN–THE GODDESS

DreddPyrateRoberts November 30, 2011 at 3:03 pm

A lot to chew on and digest here…
My two cents:
1. Be a lady, but be an individual. You can look great without being a Stepford Wife or an inked-up tramp.
2. Be talented. It could be sewing, baking, whatever. Just don’t sit in front of the television or computer all day. Shopping is NOT a hobby or talent. A lady passed on a piece of wisdom to me a few years ago: Find three or four things you like to do and do them well.
3. Exercise is not unladylike. I don’t want to date a female bodybuilder, but that dance class is keeping you sane and healthy. Two left feet? Fine. Skiing, running, swimming, there is something you can do to to look good and feel good.

ASustachek November 30, 2011 at 4:32 pm

I agree with Steven Kohn and would like to add that I’ve noticed a trend that has been passed down from mothers to daughters. Women of the baby boomer generation (which are probably most of our mom’s) were the first to really rebel from the ideals we seem to be seeking from the women we want. Women’s lib was in full swing and the young women were trying to leave the oppression of the stereotypical stay at home wife. In turn divorce rates and childbirth out of wed-lock started to climb causing women to go back to work to support their children. This caused the women of today to not learn the traits most men in this forum seem to seek. My wife is a perfect example of this. She was raised by a full-time working mom who had no husband to depend on (alcoholic) nor time to look for another man. She did not have time to raise the girls with the morals or traits that she was raised with nor did she completely agree with the way her parents raised her. She “rebelled”. Therefore, my wife learned to walk all over her mom and get what she wanted, because by the end of the day her mom was just to damn tired to want to deal with it. She didn’t learn to clean the house or cook or dress appropriately but she did learn to become an independent, self-sufficient woman. My wife stays at home and raises our children and she does a fine job. Could it be better? Sure, she could keep the house clean, keep up with the laundry and have dinner prepared when I walk in the door but that’s not what she learned nor who she is. She would prefer to work outside the home, like she did before we had children, but she selflessly decided to stay at home so our children would not have to be raised by daycare strangers. It’s the male testosterone and love of the old-fashion that makes me get frustrated at her for her inadaquicies. But I love her and accept her for who she is, a selfless giving wife and mother.

What we need to consider now is what kind of trend are we setting for our children? The children of the “What’s in it for me” or “Instant Gratification” generation are our own and I feel like we’re in for a world of hurt if we don’t stop giving them what they want because we’re to busy on our computers, smart phones, watching TV, or working. They see it folks and they’re gonna think it’s OK if we don’t cut it out.

I wish women would stop watching all of this reality television though. If they stopped then the networks would stop making this crap….

chantal November 30, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Ok, I’m pretty old fashioned when it comes to alot of things. I like cooking and cleaning. I like wearing heels when I go out. And a nice dress, given I live in a pretty schizophrenic climate, when the weather is nice. But I also have a Mohawk, many tattoos (including knuckles), and most days I wear Jeans. My job merits it. I agree that what women wear these days is gross. I hate sweatpants in public. Even if I’m just going to the store, I put on real pants. I hate that “I just red out of bed” ponytail, that you know took 20 minutes. I think smoking wad in fashion back in the day. A was drinking. So I don’t think that should be on the list. How many old movies do you see, where both sexes aren’t smoking and/out drinking? In my opinion, they’re both disgusting though.
I think a mutual respect for each other would really go a long way, in this day and age. It’s never going to be like it was. There’s too much going on in the world to go back to the old days. The world is too expensive, and moves too quickly to send the women back to the kitchen.

Kathleen November 30, 2011 at 6:38 pm

I’ve found this insightful and refreshing. As a woman who meets most of your points I have a request. Please remember to conduct yourselves as the male equivalent; be both manly and a gentalman. I’m sure most of you are already both of these. But please incourage you’re less accomplished friends to do the same. It is increasingly hard for a woman like me to find a man like one of you.

kevin November 30, 2011 at 6:44 pm

1. Intelligence and meaningful conversation are attractive. Stop being so shallow and vapid
2. Yes, you have cleavage, use it sparingly.
3. Leave something to the imagination ladies.
4. Learn to laugh. A sense of humor is definitely sexy
5. ‘Thank you.’ and ‘You’re welcome.’ Learn them. Use them.
6. Smile once in a while.
7. Repeat the phrase “tramp stamp” ONE THOUSAND TIMES before getting ink.
8. Sexting is a bad idea

Robyn November 30, 2011 at 6:56 pm

I wish most women still did these things as well. I think I do and I dislike seeing most of the “womanly” things thrown away in the name of “feminism”. Just make sure you men teach your daughters and advise your sisters to do these things and maybe these virtues will survive.

Matt December 1, 2011 at 1:19 pm

As a whole, I don’t really wish women still did certain things. There are, however, certain things that turn me off when it comes to dating them. Not surprisingly, most of them are what some would call “manly traits.” While women are certainly equal to men, they are not the same. And that’s a good thing. A real man knows that women are different from men and prefers it. Anyway, here’s what I look for that few women seem to have these days…

- Dresses like a woman. This means no sweats unless you’re sick or working out, and more dresses/skirts than jeans. I’m also not a fan of fashion trends. These are usually boring or silly. For example, I don’t understand (or like) the whole wearing-a-scarf-indoors trend.

- Social drinker and not a smoker. Just because you can get drunk, doesn’t mean you should. Same with smoking. I’m not interesting in making out with an ash try.

- Speaks and writes in proper English. The occasional cuss word is fine, but please don’t make it part of your everyday conversation. Similarly, text speak is cute when you’re 16, but not when you’re 26. Also don’t tell me about your sexual experiences and preferences. It’s not very “lady-like.”

- Not really into sports, cars, or other “guy things.” On dating profiles, some women brag about being into sports. They think it makes them different than most women. Um, no it doesn’t. I know lots of women who are into sports. It’s not a turn on. At least it isn’t for me. It’s weird.

- Doesn’t offer advice or commentary unless I ask for it. Most women hate it when men do this and guess what? We don’t like it either!

- No tattoos and no piercings, except in the ears. They’re ugly, manly, and pointless.

- Doesn’t act like she’s better than me or that women are better than men. It seems like every month there’s a new show featuring a “tough” woman who “plays by her own rules” (and is rude to most of the men she encounters). It was kind of funny when Roseanne did it in the 80s, but it’s gotten old. If you watch women in movies from the golden age, you’ll notice that all they often do when they’re right about something is to give a rye smile. It’s not about giving in or being weak, it’s about being classy.

- Has one hair color. Pink streaks and skunk spots may look cool when you’re a teenager, but when you’re an adult, you look like an idiot.

- Doesn’t lie to me. At least not when it’s something important. I’m not an idiot. I’ll find out the truth sooner or later. Even though it may not be something I want to hear, I appreciate honesty. It means I can trust you.

- Genuinely likes men. I have no use or patience for feminists.

- Has long hair. Okay, this one might be a bit shallow, but what can I say? Short hair is not sexy.

I guess the overall theme here is that I love women who embrace their femininity. So many women these days think they’re suppose to act like us. Not sure if it’s years of social programming from feminists or dating so many losers, but it drives me nuts! And yes, I adhere to most of these things as well.

Angelica December 1, 2011 at 3:43 pm

I’m curious about the fact that a lot of the comments are regarding skirts/dresses. Do a lot of you live in warmer climates? Where I live it’s too cold to wear dresses (even with thicker woollen tights) during the winter and most of spring. Not to mention how ridiculous it looks to match your parka with an a-line.

One of the old fashioned things I wish I could do was sewing. My mother is a genius at sewing which I discovered only when a friend received her pre-paid, non-returnable (made after her measurements!) prom dress 2 sizes too big. She was heartbroken and when my mother saw the dress she offered to fix it. It turned out amazing! Turns out she used to make her own clothes before us kids came about :) I’d really love for her to teach me, but she doesn’t have the time.

Lamont Cranston December 1, 2011 at 4:33 pm

How about “do your hair?” These days, it’s “pulled back in a pony tail,” “pulled back in a braid,” or chopped off in a masculine cut.

Jenny December 2, 2011 at 1:53 am

I personally think its sad what most women today do to themselves and do for attention. I’m in my mid twenties and maybe the way my parents raised has become a dying breed. I went to three years of etiquite school when I was younger. I had it drilled into me that if you dont want people to comment on it then dont show it. Dont get me wrong, if you got it, flaunt it. But there are ways to do that with respect for ones self that isn’t trashy and desperate. I dont know what it is with my generation and younger but i do agree with just about everything comment. Maybe its the southern bell in me or maybe its because I work with all men that I see things differently. What is this world coming to? Geeze

Ally December 2, 2011 at 10:30 am

I’m a cooking, cleaning, sewing, breastfeeding (young, college-educated) full-time mom, and I devote a lot of thought to the way women have done things in the past, because, frankly, my post-feminist upbringing didn’t prepare me for this, even though my mother also cooked, cleaned, sewed, breastfed and left her career to raise us. It’s not an aesthetic thing, it’s a practical thing.
I’d be interested to hear what you commenters mean by “classy,” because it’s not a very specific term but it seems really important to you.
I think that what men like is femininity. Long hair and dresses can cover a feminine woman, but not everyone who wears them is feminine and not everyone who doesn’t, isn’t. It’s entirely possible for a woman to be a modest, gentle, pleasing, feminine woman with short hair and jeans, just as I have met undignified, harsh, unpleasant, domineering women in the most old-fashioned getup (unwomanly women were around even when those things were commonplace!). My husband likes me in skirts but also in (gasp!) skinny jeans (which really are very figure-dependent and not flattering on everyone) and he thinks my short-but-soft hair is attractive – and that’s the key, I style myself in a way that’s pleasing to him. Real femininity is a spirit that governs & inspires behavior, not a style of dress, and without that no cosmetic change is going to truly please you.

Colonel December 2, 2011 at 11:24 am

I had to think about this one for a while, because my first response felt a little off. It wasn’t until I read some of the other responses that said pretty much the same things I did that I realized it. Some of these answers strike me as very prudish. To each their own, but I wonder how many of would really enjoy a woman with the Victorian sensibilities you seem to desire.

That said, I do feel there are some things I wish women today would learn from women in the past, but at the same time I feel that a lot of these apply to men, as well.

Domestic skills – I think this is a perfect example of something both sexes need to know more of. Cooking, cleaning, sewing, how to fix things things. I’m 25 years know how to do all of these things well (With the exception of sewing, which I blame on childhood arthritis), but I didn’t learn these skills growing up. I learned them when I got my first apartment and realized I didn’t make enough money to pay someone to do all these things for me. The first time I had to chose between changing my own oil or buying groceries did a lot to teach the value of knowing these skills. The sad thing is nobody is learning these skills because nobody is teaching them.
I especially would like to see more women cooking, and I mean real cooking, not reheating something that came from a bag or a can. Not because I feel the woman should necessarily be responsible for all the cooking (It is, in fact, the one domestic task that I really enjoy), but rather because, personally, nothing makes me feel better than a home-cooked meal and even if I usually do the cooking it would be nice have someone cook one for me.

Take pride in your appearance – I know this is preaching to the choir at this site, but we all know both men and women are lacking. I know that these days putting on ties or high-heels to leave the house borders on anachronistic, so I wouldn’t ask for that much, but just a modest attempt to put yourself together before leaving the house. Also, I think the hoodie is the most unattractive garment ever created. Stop with those.

More confidence and less attitude – This especially goes for women. A woman with a bad attitude berates a waiter for getting an order wrong, a woman with confidence will have the order sent back and get what she asked for. Small differences like that. I know men can be bad about this as well, but I see a lot of women these days who seem to be short on confidence but overflowing with attitude.

Personal decorum – Acting like a person of character and refinement. This seems to be a completely lost art these days, especially in America. Too many women act like dudes (Not men, mind you, dudes) and too many men act Seth Rogan, who acts like a trashbag filled with coffee cans.

Joshua December 2, 2011 at 11:39 am

1. Have a domestic skill up your sleeve. Be it cooking, sewing, knitting, crocheting, baking, etc. it is nice to know a woman can do something for herself and it provides an activity for a woman to pass something along to her daughter. This is equivalent to men being able to work on cars, be a carpenter, repair stuff around the house, etc.
2. Be gracious when we treat you like a lady. Don’t be offended or act as if we view you as weak when we WANT to hold the door for you, pull out your chair, pay the bill, etc.
3. With the change of women being more in the work force more than ever in history there is a rule that everyone needs to remember; do not unload your day’s stress on your husband/wife whenever you first get home. If you have had a bad day wait a while, relax, enjoy dinner, and then talk about it. Men of old should have known this and it’s something that everyone needs to be reminded of.
4. As a retort to “Move out of your house” for men; Do not call your father/mother for advise or help without first talking with your husband. When ladies do this it makes the man feel like he married her parents along with her. Decisions in the family need to be between the couple and not anyone else.

Ray December 2, 2011 at 12:26 pm

1. Wear a bra. It shows respect for yourself, it shows respect for the men in your life, and your boobs will thank you in 20 or 30 years. We know you have boobs, and we know your boobs have nipples. You don’t have to show us.
2. Don’t show me your bra! Keep it under your clothes, where it belongs. If your top doesn’t hide bra straps, cups, and everything else, then for Pete’s sake, wear a different top.
3. If you’re going to wear low-cut jeans or pants, please please PLEASE wear something other than a thong on your lower regions. Whale tails on a woman are only marginally less disgusting than plumber’s crack on men.

I guess what I’m trying to say is STOP DRESSING SKANKY. I can already tell you’re a woman. Now show me you can be a lady.

Ray again December 2, 2011 at 12:34 pm

About that Signature Aftershave: I wore it until the babies started coming and the smell made my pregnant wife barf. (Actually, every smell in the world made her barf.) After we stopped having babies, she was too exhausted from the kids to enjoy the smell, and since I only wore it to please her, I stopped. By the time she stopped being exhausted, the maker had changed the formula and it didn’t smell the same. Soap is my aftershave now.

Craig C December 2, 2011 at 1:55 pm

What a great discussion. I would echo so many points that have already been stated eloquently. With humility, I’d add that although I’d love to see ladies possess many of the domestic capabilities of our grandmothers and before – I, myself, would love to have many of the capabilities of my grandfather and his before him! That concept could make for a gratifying quest for my wife and me together! And since I am blessed with a wife with whom I’ve had many of these same discussions, here are a couple of pertinent points we would both add to this list:

- give up/stay away from the romance novels and their media equivalents on the big screen or TV. Men are expected (rightfully so) to stay away from porn and unrealistic representations of women. Ladies should likewise be expected to stay away from unrealistic representations of men. These are never helpful regardless of gender.

- ladies, please stop interrupting and belittling your husbands to come across as clever. It’s neither attractive nor cute. It’s inappropriate in real life, just as it is in the media – where it has, for far too long, been considered funny. Nobody, man or woman, should try to gain positive favor among friends by insulting or placing their mate/date in an unfavorable light. But, true to this forum, I’ve noticed it from a great many women lately.

Michael December 2, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Ditto to most everything already said. I may be behind the times, but I (a U.S. Marine, I just haven’t been on active duty for 24 years :) have no tats and I don’t want to see them on my wife/girlfriend/daughter/daughter’s friend etc.etc.

As previously stated, I would like to see women treat men with respect (and vice versa). Not deference or blind adulation, just respect. I see far too many of my friends and colleagues being treated as the “extra child” in the family. However, as with everything, this privlige has a responsibility. Men (most likely not the ones reading this forum) need to take a more active role in their family – not deferring all decisions regarding the children to the wife. Respect is earned, not given.

I would also like wives to understand the balance of work it takes to keep a household operational. Don’t get your shorts in a knot about me not helping fold the laundry unless you’re going to push the lawnmower every other Saturday.

Finally, something that just rubs me wrong – I wish women would stop coloring their hair. I told my wife (girlfriend at the time) that I had no intention of fighting mom nature. There is no Grecian Formula or Hair Club for men in my future and I wish she would do the same. I find women that allow their hair to go grey to appear not only attractive, but dignified. Petty, I know.

Joe December 2, 2011 at 11:41 pm

I;m going to have to agree with Brandi on the jeans. Growing up in a small town in the South, women have things to do that just can’t be done properly in a skirt. As long as they’re clean and fit properly, jeans can be just as attractive on a woman as a casual dress.
That said, I also think that one of the most interesting things a woman can do is to change the routine for special occasions. I once dated a very attractive lady who worked in a fairly casual office and always wore jeans to work. We went for coffee after work a few times, but on our first actual date, she showed up in a nice skirt and blouse. It was a nice change, and the strong contrast with her normal daily wear really helped kill the first-date jitters that time, and gave me a nice feeling every time after that, because it showed that she considered our dates to be special occasions and worth dressing up for. Since I always try to dress up for a date, (and even to some extent for not-a-date outings with female friends – I don’t want to be one of those dorks escorting an attractive, well dressed, classy woman while looking like I just got done changing my oil after a heavy metal concert even if I am just helping her pick out a present at WalMart) it’s nice when a woman also has some contrast with her normal routine to show that she put some effort in.
By the same token, a woman who always wears dresses to the office can change things up nicely with a good pantsuit for a business occasion or good jeans for a casual one.

StarMan December 3, 2011 at 10:52 pm

Women should stop trying to be and look look marcho. Females should act dress accordingly and get out wearimg friggin jeans and pants, and into a dress. Young ones today have no class or style. They don’t care how they look or act in public. Older women know how to be a woman and woo the man, but Gen Y’s? Ha! too rude, arrogrant and lazy. A woman should dress like their sisiters did back in the 40′s and 50′s and 60′s, when feminity ruled. Gone are the days when a young lady dressed to kill, wore frilly nickers, suspenders, stockings, slips, etc and made a man feel like areal man!

Kenneth December 4, 2011 at 5:57 am

This turned ugly real quick.

Are you sure you guys aren’t in the Taliban or just bi#@#*$?

Women keep doing what you do you fascinate us and you are beautiful no matter what.

Liz December 4, 2011 at 2:56 pm

On Womanliness: Men, i can assure you that my tattoos, Mia Farrow pixie-cut, and jeans are in no way an obstacle to myself projecting the image of a self-respecting, feminine, intelligent being with skills. It is all about how we carry ourselves! I’ve seen plenty of young ladies dressed to the nines in skirts, heels and the rapunzel hair which you apparently seek. However, many of them are seen slumping around as if they thought themselves absolute garbage. Yes, I knit, sew, and cook but I also work, explore the outdoors, and indulge in the occasional well-crafted beer. I do things not with the objective of pleasing men, but for the care and happiness of my own being. This, gentlemen (if gentlemen you are) is self-respect, from which sprouts the modesty, “class”, and wholesome qualities you request, if not demand, of us. Womanliness is not a haircut, an outfit, or a home-cooked meal; it is the gumption that it takes to respect, value and care for others as well as herself, despite what is popular in our culture or media. If a strong, well-rounded, happy woman does not satisfy your tastes, perhaps these “tools” are closer in relationship to you than you think.
A brief note on feminism: Good sirs, please understand that many women follow a brand of feminism that merely supports and encourages women to live and think independently, not in spite of, men. We are not all “Man-Haters” or “Femi-nazi’s”. I appreciate a door opened or a gentlemanly gesture just as much as I cherish my right to vote, work and wear pants. Hats off to the Kind, Intelligent men here who can grasp and celebrate these concepts; I commend you.

Geoff December 4, 2011 at 5:58 pm

I like Mack Bee’s list, but I’m with Kenneth on this.

I would agree with some of the items listed in various posts such as:
- showing your man and others respect
- dressing appropriately
- watching your language
- drinking only in moderation.

What I found surprising in a couple of the posts is the aggression directed at women who don’t demonstrate the desired behaviour. Were we asked for a wish-list or a set of rules that women should follow?

P.S If your post was not aggressive, then don’t take offence at my observation.

Daniel December 5, 2011 at 3:22 am

Seven things I wish women would still do. Well, should be simple.

First of all, I don’t mind inked women or any percieved lack of class. I don’t mind if if women say that they wish that men were gentlemen dspite them not having taken a serious look at themselves.

But let’s get to it. First thing I’d love it if women – okay, I’ll admit it, I’m too young to be able to say “women did this back in the day” but I hope that doesn’t disqualify me in your eyes.

FIRST THING. To me it feels like women have become so focused on not being oppressed that they come out at the other side – they feel completely at ease with giving in to hysteria when their actual arguments runs dry, and if the man -or woman- they’re arguing with refuses to give in and lose his/her head as well, they start attacking this other person’s character. If that still doesn’t work, it’s “impossible to argue” with them because they “can’t win against you”. Please, calm down and stick to the issue at hand. An argument is not a war, it is a diplomatic method to reach a compromise. Any man would love being with a woman like that.

Two. Call me sexist but women, learn some rudimentary cooking! This should go for men as well, but I’m not sure if men have done this enough to justify “still did”. But it isn’t so hard to learn which spices goes with which food, how much you need, how various spices mix with each other. It’s a simple skill but it really makes a difference. Of course, any man ought to learn this as well. If not for themselves then at least for the times they’ll cook for someone else.

Third. …
Actually there is no third. Those two points are the only ones I have.

Dione December 5, 2011 at 11:11 am

I am well rounded and enjoy my femininity
1. Respect for self and others.
2. Personal hygene and appropriate dress for the occassion. ( I wear clothing that complement my body, i.e., dresses, skirts, slacks/jeans, sweats, etc., that are the right size. I wear high heels most day because I like the way they make me feel.)
3. Education is important, get as much as you can and never be afraid to learn something new. (I’m college educated and believe it’s important to keep learning.)
4. I know how and do cook/bake, clean, sew, make repairs and even call the appropriate repairperson, etc.)
5. Work/Career/Hobbies are very important for developing skills and showing self sufficiency and self awareness.

Most importantly I am raising 2 daughters to be respectable and self sufficience young women that will be capable of doing whatever I can and much more (thinking outside of the box).

Garret G. December 5, 2011 at 12:01 pm

I agree with most of whats been said here, modesty, language, tattoos, appreciation, moderation, all great things I think a true Man seeks. That being said not only does he seek these things, he lives them every day. I feel sorrow for the woman who posted on her three husbands and have this to say. They weren’t men. Not true men. You married boys who never elevated out of the self gratification stage of life. Men have honor, respect, appreciation, and love for women. Boys do not. It is easy to do what is wrong, while its hard to do what is right. It takes courage to do what is right. Courage to stay faithful, to stay honorable, to be engaged, to have moderation. These are things a Man strives to do, to be.

I’m 23, single, and in most eyes, still a young man. However, the thing which I desire in women, which I don’t see in my generation and have such trouble finding is this: Support.
Still being in college, I find the vast majority of women here are concerned with their own careers, and self betterment. Which I hold great respect for, and don’t denounce by any means. However, It’s my honest belief that Eve was put on earth to support her Man, and when I find my wife someday, my one and only wife I will ever wed, it will be because she will be my supporting stone to which I fight my everyday battles.
I don’t believe by any means that it makes you any less of a Man to have a woman by your side. I believe God intended it as such.
That being said it is possible for men to be great without women by their side. I’ve gone to war, I’ve been a law enforcement officer, been a volunteer, donated my time and hands to thrown sandbags, and helped those in need. All before I was twenty three, and did it all while single. A women compliments a life that should already be an endless pursuit of self betterment and growth. A woman should never define you, but adds a level which a self reliant man is ready for: Marriage, Family, and Love.

Hodan December 5, 2011 at 10:01 pm

lmooo, some of these suggestions are hysterical, while others are spot on. I think having manners, self respect, intellectual curiosity and spiritual growth, as well as celebrating ones femininity are timeless.

Luckyjinx7 December 6, 2011 at 3:57 am

I’m a young woman who was raised in an old fashioned family with my grandmother. I’m disgusted with the way my generation has turned out. I wish people were still kind and neighborly. I think girls really forget that men don’t want to hear a ton of bitching and wanting. Don’t talk bad about people. Let your man feel macho when he wants to do something for you, because all to often, you bitch that he doesn’t do enough. Cook more. Clean together. And I think almost all men can agree… Be a little more generous with the head, and tell me it doesn’t make a difference in the relationship.

William December 8, 2011 at 11:37 am

To be a true gent, a man should do these things and more regardless of the general population of women’s behavior. However, I find it a little ridiculous that hardly any woman want to cook or raise kids anymore. Also, a woman should not be the one to pursue a man. Let the man be the man. If he’s not, you don’t want him.

Roolahlah December 10, 2011 at 12:04 pm

I love Kevin Daley’s response. It’s true, woman have forgotten what it like to be a woman. Feminine, graceful, curteious and educated. Everyday I pretty much wear a cute vintage dress, hair is always clean and done. Nails are free of polish and I’m finishing my Masters in psychology.

Everynight when my boyfriend comes home from working hard in the elements each day, dinner is hot and on the table and not from a box.

Women I think, forget that they can be modern and still be traditional without sacrificing their opinions or their goals.

Women have advantages men do not and we abuse it. A. Call out of work due to cramps, when its really a hangover. Or obsessing over a guy who dumped you and wearing your bitterness on your sleeve, by being synical, will only chase away the good guys. Or being snobbish and rude around other women, when single men are around.
Competitiveness is ugly.

There is a lot of room for improvement needed for both sexes in this kind of society.

mark December 24, 2011 at 12:39 am

Thank you Liz, well said.

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