Another example of why I drive old, well maintained, paid for with cash cars. Gets me richer, and I do not get upset when I find yet another ding in my door.
I park dim, but I do it in the back 40 of the empty end of the parking lot. I value my ride more than some clown in his POS door dinging “I have no pride” SUV, minivan or rice burner. To “Dim” park up front by the door is A**hole-ish though.
A bit of a ‘Dim’ response in retrospect, but one time there was a Dim parker at the local grocer. Thanks to a friend and I, Dim came out to find his car surrounded with shopping carts (we were careful not to ding and to park them in a way that they wouldn’t roll into his car).
I do HATE whene people park in an inconsiderate fashion. Critter, your perspective works for you, but not for all. Regardless of what condition your car is in, you’d have the right to be upset at other people damaging it.
Andrew, I disagree with the Mustang perspective, since I generally see BMWs and Mercs parked this way. Also, for the record, (have to stick up for the stang here) I drive a brand new 5.0 Mustang, my friend on the other hands drives a Cadillac, my boss drives a BMW and BOTH of them continuously salivate over this “poor man’s sports car”.
Bottom line, worried enough about getting dings to park across two spots, park further out in the vacant area of the lot and walk further.
Apologies for the typos in the last entry I am working with a cell phone here. I would like to add another incosiderate parker. People who are just lazy. In my neighborhood there is always the person who parks with just a wheel spilling over the line, or just crooked enough, and then is too lazy to straighten up. As a result the next person can’t fit, or every other car has to park crooked as well, not fitting into the lines.
I have a really big truck, so when I’m at places like the mall I always take up two spots as far from the door as possible. On less crowded days I’ve taken up four.
I cannot tell you how many cars are just blatantly parked by jerks. They are inconsiderate so I am inconsiderate to them…one time I didn’t have a spot because they were all taken except one. Oh, but there was a car taking that last spot and the one next to it. Saw the driver and asked him to move. He got confrontational and took extra long at the shop we were both at. So I let the air out of two of his tires (not slashed – just pushed down on the valve so it would cost $1 at a gas station to fill them back up), but his little sports car was too low to the ground at that point to drive. Enjoy waiting for a tow truck like you made me wait. Be considerate people.
Barring an emergency parking job at the ER, I can’t understand why you would take up more than one spot. I don’t care if your car was built by an order of nearsighted monks – if you want it to be safe, park it in the back. In states with real winter, parking can get really out of hand, as even the lightest dusting of snow seems to be carte blanche for inconsiderate drivers to pretend like the lines are never there.
I will say that good parking goes unnoticed becuase it doesn’t annoy us, but here’s to the 95% of drivers that treat complete strangers with the respect and dignity they deserve.
If you drive and park in MIA sometimes its necessary to be the Dim Dick. People in MIA drive and park like asses. Most of the people here have never even seen a car until they get to MIA then next thing you know they have some beater ass ride, a cell phone and they graciously throw their door right into your sports and/or classic. If you have to park the Dim dick way to protect your vehicle, its only for a quick in and out from whatever establishment I’m visiting.
The people who gripe me are the ones who park right on the lines. Either you can’t park in the space next to them because there is no room. Or, you come out and have a hard time opening your door because they are so close.
Living in Alberta, every 8 out of 10 vehicles are very large pick up trucks. Most of the drivers seem to think that backing up and straightening out is possibly the most difficult thing in the world to do. So however they pull in is where they stay. The whole parking lot is filled to capacity, with less than half the amount of vehicles it can handle. Dim is a very familiar person here in Cold Lake.
I stopped to get a drink on my way to work this morning. As I was exiting the convenience store, Dim slid his care in the space next to mine and was so close to my vehicle that it made for some interesting manuvering to get my not so slender self slid into the cab. He was at such an angle that that the driver of the vehicle on Dims other side had to wait for him to move. Sometimes I’d like to …….to !@#$%^&& Dim’s like him.
The only thing better would be if Dim was parking in a handicap reserved spot and then faking a limp as he sheepishly slinks away from the vehicle! seriously, I’ve seen him do it before!
I’ve dealt with so many people that can’t park that I just park in areas I know there won’t be many people. I have to disagree about backing into a parking spot being “Dim”, though.
I always back in, that way I have a clear view of everything around me when I leave. (Granted, if another vehicle is behind me or coming towards me I go look for another spot so I don’t hold up traffic).
When I was a college student in the mid-’80s, my ride was an oxidized-green 1972 Ford Courier pickup. This thing screamed “Uninsured,” and I completed the image with my long hair and ratty cloths. Funny how nobody ever wanted to park next to me….
I’m with the post recommending buying used, pre-dinged, low mileage, well maintained cars. New is just to stressful. I friend of mine had a beater with homemade wooden bumpers and the words “The Lane Changer” handpainted across the back. Oddly, no new cars were ever parked anywhere near him.
When I worked at a summer camp years ago, somebody decided to park right next to my car. And when I say right next to my car, I mean that this guys car was in physical contact with mine. I think I may have had to climb in through the passenger side door, if I recall correctly. And it is not like there wasn’t lots of room in the parking area: there was! At first I started fretting because I was going to scratch the guys paint getting out (how could I not when his cars side was planted flat against mine?), but then I realized “wait, the guy parked himself against my car. So, if his paint gets scratched when I pull away, it is his own dumb fault”. Fortunately for both of his, the damage to our cars was minimal-to-non-existent when I pulled away.
I agree with most everyone, don’t be a Dim, that just shouts that I am more important than everyone else.
But what I truly hate is stupid engineers who design parking lots with spaces to small. They do this to fit more cars in and do not account for larger vehicles. In our area there are several parking lots with spaces too small. Both people can be parked correctly and you have to be contortionist to get out of your door.
I see flare ups of temper at Little League over who gets to park behind the dugout…end up more upset later when fly ball dents hood or cracks glass. Common sense ain’t that common.
To clarify, if you park in more than 1 spot (even in the back of the parking lot), and you are not pulling a trailer–you are a Dim, my friend. Someone who parks in multiple spots, even in the back, is inconsiderate. If you were that special, your chauffeur would be driving you and would, in fact, drop you off at the front of the store/building.
I park in the way back, in 1 spot. I do not want my doors dinged.
Our neighbors in our apartment complex both park as bad if not worse than this at times and I hate it! It is so incredibly frustrating to me how inconsiderate they can be! They think they are gangsters. Since when was an Chrysler 300C and an old GMC Denali such great luxury cars!? My grandma drives a 300C!
I agree with Matt. There is absolutely no reason to park like Dim.
The closest thing I can think of to a reason is when you’re driving one of those Ford 1250 giant trucks that barely fit in a lane of traffic, much less a parking space.
In that case, though, unless you’re in some sort of business where you *need* a truck that big (and there are such cases, I’ll grant), it’s your own dang fault you bought a needlessly large truck, so go park that abomination in the back of the lot and let people with sensibly sized vehicles park nearer the store.
While Dim is highly annoying, I find the person that parks over the line after you’re already parked there to be much worse. I took my son to BJ’s for a shopping trip one day. When we got back to the car, a large pickup had parked next to me. I was one spot away from a cart return and he parked in between me and the cart return. He was so close to me that I couldn’t get my son into the car to get in his car seat. I had the driver paged and he didn’t show up. I had to pull through with my son in the front seat so I could get in his door. Needless to say, I wasn’t careful with my own door as I got in. And that’s usually the case when someone parks so close to me that it causes me trouble getting in…
If you can afford a $60K car you can also afford to get the incurring dings out. It’s tough, I know, but as my dad liked to say, “that’s one of the responsibilities of owning and operating a vehicle.” If you don’t like it then leave it in the garage.
I’m really not getting the “two spaces because my car is old/expensive/rare” thing. Are American parking spaces so small that people are gonna bang on your car if you park it correctly?
I park my dad’s luxury BMW the same way I park my crappy van here in Portugal, occupying a single space, and I’ve never had any trouble with it.
Hey, Brett. I have to say that this is definitely one of the neater and simpler things done with the site. Why not sell high-quality prints of these? The elegance of the pictures is brilliant and I personally would like a couple!
When I see Dim while parking my motorcycle, I help everyone out by taking the half-used space…on Dim’s driver-side door of course. And preferably just a few inches away, too.
My favourite move is to line up my passenger door centimetres from the idiot beside me. He then has to slide in through the passenger door to get in. I have had one or two dirty looks by these yoyos, but they can’t argue with the fact that I am within the lines and they are over and partially in my spot.
Here in Canada, people lose their minds in the mall at Christmas time. Several years ago, some goober in a large SUV thought that he could park on a large pile of snow on a median. He literally parked it on a large slant on the snow. When we came out of the mall, the police were there laughing because the truck had melted just enough of the snow at the lower end to tip the truck over and roll onto its side. Haha.
Check out the above site. It allows you to print out a “Checklist” of things that “Dim” has done wrong and then place it under their wiper blade. Then you take a picture of his parking skills with your phone and upload it to the website. The “Checklist” tells “Dim” why his parking is wrong and that it is displayed at the above website. I don’t know if it helps, but it atleast makes them aware and possibly might change their ways.
Kirk, have to disagree about backing in. You have to back in or out, so no extra time is wasted. If you pull in faster than I back in, I drive out faster than you back out. I actually may be quicker as backing in is typically a lot easier as nothing is moving where I am backing into, and backing out requires you to move slowly as you back into traffic.
Down here in FL, I see two types of cars parked the “Dim” way; ginormous trucks that physically cannot fit into a single spot (Ford F-350 Super Duty, I believe), and anything larger than a subcompact at the local malls… I swear, if I ever find the guy that did the lines at the local grocery stores + malls, I’m going to deck him.
Dim & Dash: At the Gym
Dim & Dash: The Best Man’s Toast
Dim & Dash: At the Thanksgiving Table
Dim & Dash: Shoveling Snow
{ 63 comments… read them below or add one }
Pondering printing a few pages of these and leaving them on offending people’s windshield. Only question, would that be the Dim or Dash thing to do?
Another example of why I drive old, well maintained, paid for with cash cars. Gets me richer, and I do not get upset when I find yet another ding in my door.
I like how dim drives a mustang…its always some poor mans sports car thats taking up all the spaces…either that or some ginormous suv…
When I see DIM I usually shudder–selfish parking, really. I’ve seen cars parked in 4 spots!
I always park in the way back, in 1 spot.
Dim also gets his car keyed, and has other cars park really close to him making it impossible to get into his car.
This reminds me of an entertaining xkcd.
Whenever i see a “Dim” park job i have to fight the urge to key the car, or toss a lug nut at it. Thankfully ive yet to give into that temptation.
Preach it, brother man!
I love these Dim and Dash cartoons and I hope to see many more of them in the future!
I park dim, but I do it in the back 40 of the empty end of the parking lot. I value my ride more than some clown in his POS door dinging “I have no pride” SUV, minivan or rice burner. To “Dim” park up front by the door is A**hole-ish though.
A real man rides a bicycle.
I thought it was funny when I saw that he drives a black Mustang like I do!
That is what we like to call “Parking Like a Fish”.
A bit of a ‘Dim’ response in retrospect, but one time there was a Dim parker at the local grocer. Thanks to a friend and I, Dim came out to find his car surrounded with shopping carts (we were careful not to ding and to park them in a way that they wouldn’t roll into his car).
reminded me of this.
http://xkcd.com/562/
I do HATE whene people park in an inconsiderate fashion. Critter, your perspective works for you, but not for all. Regardless of what condition your car is in, you’d have the right to be upset at other people damaging it.
Andrew, I disagree with the Mustang perspective, since I generally see BMWs and Mercs parked this way. Also, for the record, (have to stick up for the stang here) I drive a brand new 5.0 Mustang, my friend on the other hands drives a Cadillac, my boss drives a BMW and BOTH of them continuously salivate over this “poor man’s sports car”.
Bottom line, worried enough about getting dings to park across two spots, park further out in the vacant area of the lot and walk further.
Apologies for the typos in the last entry I am working with a cell phone here. I would like to add another incosiderate parker. People who are just lazy. In my neighborhood there is always the person who parks with just a wheel spilling over the line, or just crooked enough, and then is too lazy to straighten up. As a result the next person can’t fit, or every other car has to park crooked as well, not fitting into the lines.
I have a really big truck, so when I’m at places like the mall I always take up two spots as far from the door as possible. On less crowded days I’ve taken up four.
I don’t think that makes me rude.
I cannot tell you how many cars are just blatantly parked by jerks. They are inconsiderate so I am inconsiderate to them…one time I didn’t have a spot because they were all taken except one. Oh, but there was a car taking that last spot and the one next to it. Saw the driver and asked him to move. He got confrontational and took extra long at the shop we were both at. So I let the air out of two of his tires (not slashed – just pushed down on the valve so it would cost $1 at a gas station to fill them back up), but his little sports car was too low to the ground at that point to drive. Enjoy waiting for a tow truck like you made me wait. Be considerate people.
Looks like Dim is a dick. Don’t be that guy.
Unless you own a handbuilt Italian sports car, or another equally rare vehicle you have absolutely no reason to take more than one parking space.
Dim also backs into the spot taking triple the time.
Barring an emergency parking job at the ER, I can’t understand why you would take up more than one spot. I don’t care if your car was built by an order of nearsighted monks – if you want it to be safe, park it in the back. In states with real winter, parking can get really out of hand, as even the lightest dusting of snow seems to be carte blanche for inconsiderate drivers to pretend like the lines are never there.
I will say that good parking goes unnoticed becuase it doesn’t annoy us, but here’s to the 95% of drivers that treat complete strangers with the respect and dignity they deserve.
If you drive and park in MIA sometimes its necessary to be the Dim Dick. People in MIA drive and park like asses. Most of the people here have never even seen a car until they get to MIA then next thing you know they have some beater ass ride, a cell phone and they graciously throw their door right into your sports and/or classic. If you have to park the Dim dick way to protect your vehicle, its only for a quick in and out from whatever establishment I’m visiting.
I’m so confused right now
if I complain about Dash type parking does that make me a Dash as well?
I’ll just simply nod my head with approval and move on.
The people who gripe me are the ones who park right on the lines. Either you can’t park in the space next to them because there is no room. Or, you come out and have a hard time opening your door because they are so close.
How about “dim holds up the entire parking lot waiting for someone near the front to leave. Dash keeps driving and parks a bit farther away”
Hey!
I haven’t seen parking spaces that wide in over a decade!
Living in Alberta, every 8 out of 10 vehicles are very large pick up trucks. Most of the drivers seem to think that backing up and straightening out is possibly the most difficult thing in the world to do. So however they pull in is where they stay. The whole parking lot is filled to capacity, with less than half the amount of vehicles it can handle. Dim is a very familiar person here in Cold Lake.
I stopped to get a drink on my way to work this morning. As I was exiting the convenience store, Dim slid his care in the space next to mine and was so close to my vehicle that it made for some interesting manuvering to get my not so slender self slid into the cab. He was at such an angle that that the driver of the vehicle on Dims other side had to wait for him to move. Sometimes I’d like to …….to !@#$%^&& Dim’s like him.
The only thing better would be if Dim was parking in a handicap reserved spot and then faking a limp as he sheepishly slinks away from the vehicle! seriously, I’ve seen him do it before!
I’ve dealt with so many people that can’t park that I just park in areas I know there won’t be many people. I have to disagree about backing into a parking spot being “Dim”, though.
I always back in, that way I have a clear view of everything around me when I leave. (Granted, if another vehicle is behind me or coming towards me I go look for another spot so I don’t hold up traffic).
When I was a college student in the mid-’80s, my ride was an oxidized-green 1972 Ford Courier pickup. This thing screamed “Uninsured,” and I completed the image with my long hair and ratty cloths. Funny how nobody ever wanted to park next to me….
I’m with the post recommending buying used, pre-dinged, low mileage, well maintained cars. New is just to stressful. I friend of mine had a beater with homemade wooden bumpers and the words “The Lane Changer” handpainted across the back. Oddly, no new cars were ever parked anywhere near him.
I’m surprised at this because of course, Dash would reverse in…
I was expecting dim slams his door into someone else’s car, while dash opens the door for a lady.
When I worked at a summer camp years ago, somebody decided to park right next to my car. And when I say right next to my car, I mean that this guys car was in physical contact with mine. I think I may have had to climb in through the passenger side door, if I recall correctly. And it is not like there wasn’t lots of room in the parking area: there was! At first I started fretting because I was going to scratch the guys paint getting out (how could I not when his cars side was planted flat against mine?), but then I realized “wait, the guy parked himself against my car. So, if his paint gets scratched when I pull away, it is his own dumb fault”. Fortunately for both of his, the damage to our cars was minimal-to-non-existent when I pulled away.
I agree with most everyone, don’t be a Dim, that just shouts that I am more important than everyone else.
But what I truly hate is stupid engineers who design parking lots with spaces to small. They do this to fit more cars in and do not account for larger vehicles. In our area there are several parking lots with spaces too small. Both people can be parked correctly and you have to be contortionist to get out of your door.
I see flare ups of temper at Little League over who gets to park behind the dugout…end up more upset later when fly ball dents hood or cracks glass. Common sense ain’t that common.
Chevy Driver
To clarify, if you park in more than 1 spot (even in the back of the parking lot), and you are not pulling a trailer–you are a Dim, my friend. Someone who parks in multiple spots, even in the back, is inconsiderate. If you were that special, your chauffeur would be driving you and would, in fact, drop you off at the front of the store/building.
I park in the way back, in 1 spot. I do not want my doors dinged.
Our neighbors in our apartment complex both park as bad if not worse than this at times and I hate it! It is so incredibly frustrating to me how inconsiderate they can be! They think they are gangsters. Since when was an Chrysler 300C and an old GMC Denali such great luxury cars!? My grandma drives a 300C!
Cmon we all have a little dim in all of us.(maybe not conciously,especially the lrg suv drivers).
I agree with jrh, nothing wrong with the Mustang especially with a proud heritage spanning nearly 50 years.
For better or worse, I do tend to have an immediate negative impression of a driver who can’t manage to occupy just one space.
Reasons to do so are practically non-existent.
I agree with Matt. There is absolutely no reason to park like Dim.
The closest thing I can think of to a reason is when you’re driving one of those Ford 1250 giant trucks that barely fit in a lane of traffic, much less a parking space.
In that case, though, unless you’re in some sort of business where you *need* a truck that big (and there are such cases, I’ll grant), it’s your own dang fault you bought a needlessly large truck, so go park that abomination in the back of the lot and let people with sensibly sized vehicles park nearer the store.
While Dim is highly annoying, I find the person that parks over the line after you’re already parked there to be much worse. I took my son to BJ’s for a shopping trip one day. When we got back to the car, a large pickup had parked next to me. I was one spot away from a cart return and he parked in between me and the cart return. He was so close to me that I couldn’t get my son into the car to get in his car seat. I had the driver paged and he didn’t show up. I had to pull through with my son in the front seat so I could get in his door. Needless to say, I wasn’t careful with my own door as I got in. And that’s usually the case when someone parks so close to me that it causes me trouble getting in…
If you can afford a $60K car you can also afford to get the incurring dings out. It’s tough, I know, but as my dad liked to say, “that’s one of the responsibilities of owning and operating a vehicle.” If you don’t like it then leave it in the garage.
I’m really not getting the “two spaces because my car is old/expensive/rare” thing. Are American parking spaces so small that people are gonna bang on your car if you park it correctly?
I park my dad’s luxury BMW the same way I park my crappy van here in Portugal, occupying a single space, and I’ve never had any trouble with it.
Hey, Brett. I have to say that this is definitely one of the neater and simpler things done with the site. Why not sell high-quality prints of these? The elegance of the pictures is brilliant and I personally would like a couple!
I believe this website is relevant to this situation:
http://www.youparklikeanasshole.com/
I recommend printing out the “Notice” forms on that website and let these people know they’re a bunch of Dims.
Well Done, obiviously a case of a picture being worth a thousand words.
Sometimes I park like Dim on purpose…..I call it my “Bubble of Protection”
Jeff
There is NO reason to park like Dim.
When I see Dim while parking my motorcycle, I help everyone out by taking the half-used space…on Dim’s driver-side door of course. And preferably just a few inches away, too.
The worst Dim parking I ever saw was at the BMV. Seriously, how do you take up four spaces while renewing your licsense?
My favourite move is to line up my passenger door centimetres from the idiot beside me. He then has to slide in through the passenger door to get in. I have had one or two dirty looks by these yoyos, but they can’t argue with the fact that I am within the lines and they are over and partially in my spot.
Here in Canada, people lose their minds in the mall at Christmas time. Several years ago, some goober in a large SUV thought that he could park on a large pile of snow on a median. He literally parked it on a large slant on the snow. When we came out of the mall, the police were there laughing because the truck had melted just enough of the snow at the lower end to tip the truck over and roll onto its side. Haha.
Check out the above site. It allows you to print out a “Checklist” of things that “Dim” has done wrong and then place it under their wiper blade. Then you take a picture of his parking skills with your phone and upload it to the website. The “Checklist” tells “Dim” why his parking is wrong and that it is displayed at the above website. I don’t know if it helps, but it atleast makes them aware and possibly might change their ways.
youparklikeanasshole.com
Sorry, it didn’t post.
How to tell if you’re a complete pile:
If you found yourself making ANY justifications for parking like Dim.
Because there are no justifications for it. No matter where you do it, you are a prolapsed asshole who regards things over people. End of story.
Your forgot the third guy – Flash – who, of course, reverses into that space! Like a boss!
Kirk, have to disagree about backing in. You have to back in or out, so no extra time is wasted. If you pull in faster than I back in, I drive out faster than you back out. I actually may be quicker as backing in is typically a lot easier as nothing is moving where I am backing into, and backing out requires you to move slowly as you back into traffic.
Cody, great checklist. Thanks.
Down here in FL, I see two types of cars parked the “Dim” way; ginormous trucks that physically cannot fit into a single spot (Ford F-350 Super Duty, I believe), and anything larger than a subcompact at the local malls… I swear, if I ever find the guy that did the lines at the local grocery stores + malls, I’m going to deck him.