Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Ty Karnitz.
Men today have been bringing back many classic things from the past: the hat, old cocktails, shaving with a safety razor…and now it’s time to revive another quintessential piece of manliness: the codpiece.
What’s a Codpiece?
In the 1500s, men wore hose to cover their legs. Now the hose they wore were nothing like the hose women wear today. The hose covered the legs but did not cover the genitals. As the jackets and doublets got shorter with fashion, men began to accidentally expose themselves when they sat down or mounted a horse. So, to cover their manhood, men began to wear a codpiece (from the Middle English “cod,” meaning “scrotum”).
The codpiece began as a simple piece of fabric that would be tied down, really just an extra piece of linen. However, as time wore on the codpiece became more elaborate and decorative, longer and padded. So instead of helping to conceal the genitals, the codpiece emphasized them.
However, there are alternative theories as to why the codpiece was developed. Author Marion Sichel, in the book History of Men’s Costume, suggests the codpiece developed because men’s hose became so tight they restricted movement, and the codpiece gave men more freedom of movement.
While the most readily accepted idea is that the codpiece was used to emphasize a man’s sexual prowess, there is another idea about what a codpiece was used for. Anthropologist Grace W. Vicary believes that the elongated codpieces might have contained medication to relieve symptoms of venereal diseases; this way the medication would not ruin the outer clothing.
Whatever the reasons for the codpiece’s evolution, it is without a doubt one of the most unique and distinctly manly articles of clothing ever seen. And though its height of popularity might have been in the 1500s, there is evidence that early precursors to the codpiece were around even in Ancient Greece. Some figurines recovered in archeological digs on Crete depict codpieces.
Who Wore Them in The Past
Some very manly men in the past have worn codpieces. Henry VIII is a prime example. His armor on display in the Tower of London shows that he wore a very large codpiece.
Now, the codpiece has fallen out of fashion in the last five hundred years or so, but that doesn’t mean it has vanished entirely. The Star Wars movies show great examples of codpieces on the armor of Darth Vadar and the Storm Troopers. David Bowie wore a codpiece in The Labyrinth, and Malcolm McDowell sports one in the Kubrick film A Clockwork Orange. You also see them in a lot of heavy metal bands today and in the leather subculture. Also across the world, at Renaissance fairs, men wear them still to this day.
Codpieces are handsome AND functional. Seen here: an incredibly stylish bulletproof codpiece.
Why Men Should Wear Them
The codpiece should be brought back because it can help men today Command a Room like a Man. Any man boldly sporting a codpiece as he walks into a room will instantly gain everyone’s full attention. But remember, the codpiece is supposed to accentuate and not dominate, so even though everyone is likely to be staring at you, keep the focus on them. Maintain eye contact and talk about others. Following those simple rules will also help draw a lady’s attention.
Where to Buy
Luckily enough, the codpiece is not extinct. They are still readily accessible on some very popular websites, including Amazon, and most of them will only cost you a little over 100 dollars apiece.
But perhaps that is too expensive. Perhaps, as a cautious man you want to make sure that you’re not spending money on something you won’t want in a few years. That’s okay, too, because there are cheaper alternatives.
Sports Authority, and other sport stores, offer a wide variety of jockstraps and cups that with a little effort could be turned into beautiful codpieces. Some of the newer cups look like shorts and could be worn by themselves. Some of the older styles might need a little paint, so they don’t look so white and out of place over your jeans.
Just remember to be creative about it. To make the cup look more sophisticated, try painting a design on the outside of it, like flames or dragons or an axe or maybe just a smiley face. There’s really no wrong way to bring back the codpiece–just get to it!
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{ 93 comments… read them below or add one }
Pretty appropriate post, considering the day… ;-)
While that is an interesting piece of clothing, I don’t think it’s gonna catch on. Just saying politely.
No, no, a thousand times, NO
If ever I saw a man unabashedly and without either reserve or pretension successfully pull off the wearing of a codpiece I would surely surrender all to him. How extraordinary that would be!
I took this seriously, and was quite bewildered, until I realized what day it was. Tricky tricky.
An excellent post for April 1st! Bring back the codpiece!
This is one of the ugliest things I ever saw. I don’t think any man would ever wear that.
Well this is must be a cod-piece…
I see what you did there. Well played sir, well played.
Ah, I’ve been April-fooled.
Well played! I was thinking you all had lost it until I realized the date. Well played, indeed!
lol. The first pic just gives me the creeps. Looks like giant clitoris. Just creepy.
Well done! Had me for a moment…
Hahahahahahahah…. *deep breath* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *wiping tears…* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…
April what ? Great one played well !
Great Idea.
And add a bell on the top.
Full attention guaranteed!
As an opera singer, I have worn cod pieces for various characters and I want to stress to the gentlemen reading this post:
Don’t knock it until you try it.
CODPIECE ’11!!!!
Well ! The size actually matter !
Word up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZjAantupsA
Awesome post….you had me as well until I realized the date…
I see what they did there.
Ha ha. April Fools. So long as no one tries to bring back the chastity belt I’m okay.
I just ordered mine from classiccodpieces.com!
Ha! I was so focused on today being the opening day for the Rockies that I didn’t realize that today was the first of April! I guess I should go cancel my leather codpiece order from Amazon!
Just realized what day it was! Now what am I going to do with this sports cup and all the spray paint I bought?!
I like the idea. I would love to wear a codpiece to my Mother-in-laws home. Better yet, to service on Sunday Morning
Wow. Just wow. I was surfing all my favorite sites, trying to see what they were doing for april fools when I took a little diversion to read my favorite manly website.
I got halfway through this article, hoping against hope that they weren’t actually endorsing the wearing of this article in public, when I finally realized that I had been had!
Well played sir, well played.
Tomorrow you can post an article on how to pull an april fools prank on thousands of readers like a man.
I didn’t catch it until you suggested wearing a painted cup over your jeans.
Very good. INSPIRATION! I shall find my victim.
I made my codpiece out of a 1949 Pontiac lucite hood ornament. Glows in the dark !
You should probably be careful about the jokes you make, Gentlemen. Seen a rap star lately? That started as something of a joke.
THANK YOU! Finally someone the cod enough to write about it!
I took this advice and ran straight out to get one. I couldn’t wait until I got home to wear it, so I just sported it on the way back from the store. I must say, some of the looks made me a little self conscious at first, but I got a lot of winks and flirty eyes from women as I walked past. I decided to go with a classic, yet subdued sueded codpiece – I figure I’ll ease people into it until they get used to the idea, then maybe we can whip out the leather. It’s tough being on the vanguard of paleo-fashion.
You had me going for a minute there.
Finally, a decent April Fools!
I am wearing a codpiece right now! Its the ONLY thing I wear when reading AoM!
Got punked! Clever, very clever, you are!
Dammit! Hook, line and sinker!
Dear Sir: Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
I ran into my friend Carson at an industrial club a few months ago, and he was wearing a shiny chrome codpiece. (It was quite appropriate to the atmosphere.) I was just saying goodbye to him when a beautiful young woman stepped in beside me and said, “Excuse me.” She got down on her knees in front of Carson, took out a lipstick, and used his chrome codpiece as a mirror to fix her makeup. She stood up, thanked him politely, and gave him a light kiss on the cheek, leaving a small kiss-shaped lipstick mark perfectly placed on his jawline.
Everyone out together that night agreed that Carson won the night. There was no competition going on, but he won anyway. Apparently chicks dig a shiny codpiece:)
I was about to write a lengthy email pertaining to the quality of this article and how it does not fit in with the overall nature of this site… and then I realized I had been fooled.
Well played sir, well played.
LOL!….cod pieces…good one….wink
You could also strap half a potato across your bits. Way cheaper, looks ‘natural’ and doubles as an emergency food source.
Ha ha. But for those of us gay men who grew up reading superhero comics and spend much of the day bulge-watching as we walk down the street, this is not a joke but a dream, hopefully to one day return. It’s always funny to see how Victorian hetero men are about their sexuality, shown with all the comments here. Yet at least once in their lives they’ve checked out other guys packages in the locker-room for manly comparison with their own, to see how they compete. Everyone knows how a man’s personality is fundamentally tied to the size of his equipment – hung guys are more confident, and the rest either hang back or overcompensate in other ways (you know what they say about all those guys with big trucks).
Bulge-enhancing underwear exists now for those who want it. It’s just a matter of time and cultural change before the codpiece or its equivalent come back into common use. No joke, I say, bring it on!
Uh… no.
Please tell me this a joke……April fools right?……..Right!!!
This was a pitch perfect April Fool’s joke. You really had me going there. Well done sirs, well done!
Perhaps something like Blackadder’s Black Russian would be the thing for April 1.
I was thinking to myself… What?!?! Then, reading the comments below I realize it is indeed the day of tricksters. I’ve been bamboozled!
I want one with Catfish whiskers!!!
Oh…no,h-ll no,I didn’t think much of today except for the fact that I had school,I was supposed to have a senior league baseball game and that everyone said they hate me then screamed,”April Fools!”then hugged me…should have known.
Then we can listen to some Ludwig Van and hang with our droogs
(If you don’t get the allusion, read / watch “A Clockwork Orange”)
What a load of bollocks :) and a TIMELY and WELL POINTED article
AoM, i’m sorry. you’re a great blog site and all, but i aim to disagree on this one.
April fools day article!! Lol
Only if I can get one with mini moose antlers.
I like the part where it’s April fools
I think some Amazon-Indian tribes rock some nice variations on this theme… :-)
How about a photocontest on this subject?
Wow! I had a lot of respect for this site until this posting. Joking or not, this has nothing to do with the “art” of manliness.
Great Post.
One very important part of being a man is the ability to laugh at yourself. It looks like some of those commenting here could use a little self improvement in that aspect.
It’s unfortunate that the emails go out a day after the posting.
Sooo happy that this is a joke. Admit that you had me but in all fairness, it is April 2nd.
The author is certainly entitled to his opinion.
That said… um, no.
One will indeed command everyone’s attention when walking into a room or strolling in public while wearing a codpiece — by looking like an idiot! It’s true that the occasional woman may be intrigued, but most will think you’re trying WAY too hard to get attention, and probably trying to make-up for having a smaller than average johnson or trying to cover up some other flaw — and as a man, I’d have to agree.
If the author feels strongly that the codpiece should be brought back into common fashion — fine, but subtlety would be a better way to start. Low profiles, neutral, monotone colors that blend into the other outerwear, and a non-exaggerated size & shape would make them more widely accepted.
Still, maybe I’m just a “fuddy-duddy” at 46… but I’ll pass.
I completely fell for this at first. Well done AoM.
This was by far my favorite article. So entertaining and informative! You guys rule the internet.
This is hilarious. I’m sorry, but I would laugh at someone for wearing a codpiece walking around. I hope this was an April fools post haha
Love it!!!, ya almost got me, until the idea of making your own to stay on budget overdid it ever soooooooooo slightly.
by the way, favorite modern use of a codpiece has to be by Blackie Lawless of the shock-rock band WASP, who was known to wear a fireworks shooting, buzz-saw blade adorned leopard skin piece on stage. Now, there’s manliness!
@ Hp & John Wardlow- Have a friggin’ highball and lighten up. April Fools, sourpusses.
@AoM- You make us laugh, and you make us proud. Still the best blog ever.
I am a 38 y.o. and have been a reader of this blog for some months…I have since purchaced a fedora…compliments wherever I go…have started and successfully mastered the art of wet shaving, just as my grandfather had…and will never go back to the disposable cart razor.
Now with that said…I have had one of the best laughs in almost a year over this post. I nearly pissed myself.
@ Zeus-oh my…I was laughing so hard I nearly fell off the chair…WASP…just too much.
So I go my new codpiece and wore it to pitch a branding system to my newest clients. I didn’t want to continue with the work. I think its because the cod piece was to intimidating. Any ideas on how I could tone it down?
i was falling for this, HARD. until i hit the last two paragraphs.
well done, rofl!
Oops, in my previous comment I meant to say “they* didn’t want to continue with the work”
Come on Brett. I love your site but you must have been on drugs when you wrote this article. I could handle the first 3 photographs but that last photograph is where I lost you. Those 2 guys with their patent leather boots, their pretty white make-up, the crushed velvet and the faux fur……..Not deserving of any manly status. I am quite sure that Roosevelt and Churchill would agree with me.
I’m laughing harder at the commenters who didn’t get the joke than at the joke itself….
Yes! I’ve been wearing a codpiece for years! I wore one for my renaissance fair in high school and loved it. It has been a vital part of my wardrobe ever since. I’m so glad AoM has brought it into the light. Anyone know any other good places to buy them? I’ve only found them in good costume shops which don’t have the best quality.
The first time around, i saw this when perusing AoM on the 2cd. The thing is, since i’m in china right now, the morning of April 2cd is still April 1st for those of you in the US of A. So of course, i completely missed the joke and didn’t realize it until today.
But to reiterate my first words upon reading.
“Wow… just… wow….”
What the……?!
I love this website, but my first thought on this article is, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Hilarious.
I really hope that the people who took this seriously and made negative comments have since realized their folly…. some people really need to grow a sense of humor. As was mentioned on another comment, part of being a man is being able to laugh at yourself once in a while.
If you think “Droogs” is a reference that requires citing, you have barely scratched the surface of pop culture.
thass what I said, you knocked-up-by-a-fed-ex-delivery-man, Admiral Jo fightin’ punk
Hurmph! You must be North of I-40…..Osage county or someplace with lots of cod heads.
I didn’t realize this was an April Fools joke until AFTER I pulled out my sixteenth century bejeweled codpiece and wore it to work. But I must say, joke or not, I commanded the Wal-Mart LIKE A BOSS! My supervisor couldn’t take her eyes off it. One of the teenage girls at the cash wanted to count the jewels and I let her. During the day, some punk tried to steal a cart-load of DVD’s and fishing lures. I headed him off in the parking lot, struck a pelvis-forward pose and took the cart “head-on”. It struck my iron groin and ricocheted back, knocking out his front teeth. The store manager let me eat all the Hostess Cupcakes I wanted.
If wearing a codpiece is wrong, I don’t want to be right!
Classic check the date article. Well done. Was going WTF for about 2/3 of it.
Folks,
Believe me, the codpiece is alive and well in Quartzsite, Arizona.
Go to the “Readers Oasis Bookstore”.
You will meet Paul the owner wearing, depending on the temperature, nothing but a codpiece and his cowboy hat.
Check out his website.
jc
So glad it was only a joke
Sorry to be late to the party, but I am sadly disappointed that no one has mentioned Cameo on this yet.
Word Up!
Hilarious article! Well done AoM, well done indeed.
It’s one thing for a waterpolo player like me to be wearing a speedo and have attention drawn down there but this is ENTIRELY another thing…….. at least speedos help you swm faster! I think it’s pretty funny that they’d even think of this haha
Racing stripes, dragon flames, and smiley faces. Well played sir. Well played.
And the stylish bullet proof cod wonder — excellent touch.
Codpieces for women are widely available in San Francisco and New Orleans. Of course, you never really know if they are women or hybrids.
I recently read a short story called “The Masculinist Revolt” written by William Tenn (pen-name of Philip Glass, a great 19th century satirist). It’s basically about a time when mostly women have come to hold all the top positions in the world, and the actual “revolt” starts through the coming-back of the codpiece. I’d like to relate the ending here:
It was almost as if Masculinism had never been. If we discount the beery groups of men who, at the end of a party, nostalgically sing the old songs and call out the old heroic rallying cries to each other, we have today very few mementos of the great convulsion.
One of them is the codpiece.
The codpiece has survived as a part of modern male costume. In motion, it has a rhythmic wave that reminds many women of a sternly shaken forefinger, warning them that men, at the last, can only be pushed so far and no farther. For men, the codpiece is still a flag, now a flag of truce perhaps, but it flutters in a war that goes on and on.
Although this article is an April Fools prank, some of us Manly Men do in fact wear a codpiece from time to time. I have a leather one that I wear with button fly (open underneath) jeans when I go out for scotch and cigars with the guys. And on leg day in the gym I often wear a codpiece over my gym tights. You definitely want your man-parts up and away when you’re pumping iron with your legs.
no.