| May 19, 2017

Dating, Relationships & Family

Legendary Bodybuilder Joe Weider’s Advice on How to Make Women Like You

Editor’s note: As one of the fathers of modern bodybuilding, Joe Weider founded the International Federation of Bodybuilders, created the Mr./Ms. Olympia contests, and published numerous fitness magazines. He also developed several weight training programs in the 1950s, many of which were available by mail-order. Weider was interested in helping his clients build the whole man, and along with the booklets on bodily development he sent out to subscribers, he sometimes included pamphlets on how to strengthen other aspects of their lives like dating and career.

Below you’ll find one of these pamphlets on “How to Make Women Like You.” (It has been condensed from the original, but the ellipses do not indicate cuts — that was just Weider’s writing style.) Once you’ve been successful in getting a woman to like you, you’ll want to read up on Weider’s tips for a healthy sex life.


It’s the night of the Senior Prom — and suddenly at your side is the one girl you’ve been wanting to meet all evening! The introductions are made, and then — poor you! You stand there, clinging to her hand like an octopus, unable to think of a blessed thing to say! Your Adam’s apple churns up and down like a roller-coaster! As she first waits expectantly, then at last turns away toward someone with more pre­sence of mind, you say to yourself: “What’s the matter with me? Why can’t I turn on the old charm and get girls to like me?”

Does that sound familiar to you? Then stop building up that inferiority complex! There’s only one thing wrong with you — you’re just unprepared to meet girls! And if you’re unprepared to meet them, you’re certainly unprepared to talk to them and date them. So what can you do about it? Well, that’s why I am sending you this important bonus lesson — to teach you the fine art of being popular with girls.

You’ve been doing a fine job building your physique through my course — but that’s only part of my job! Now I want to help you enjoy life to the fullest — take advantage of your new-found strength and power!

And, frankly, one of the most enjoyable things in life is — women!

The first thing you should understand is that wanting to meet a girl and to date her is a perfectly normal, healthy emotion — as natural as breathing! Ac­cept it just that way — the truth with no pretenses. Don’t hide the fact that you are attracted to someone, and don’t be ashamed of it even though you are kidded un­mercifully about it by those who are less mature than you.

Remember this: it’s your life, and it’s up to you to handle it with skill, knowledge, freedom, enthusiasm and joy. You are the captain of your ship. You can steer it skillfully or bungle the job and crash upon the rocks. Therefore, it’s important to you to have at your fingertips the basic rules of social intercourse.

The second thing to understand is that it is just as natural for girls to want the company of boys! So you should remember that the girl you admire is looking for a boy she can admire. And if you have all the qualities of that kind of young man, you can be sure that she will not only be glad to date you, but will be quite disappointed if you don’t ask her for a date!

Just as you have a “dream girl” in your mind, so she has an ideal — the kind of young man she wants to date. And you’ll get your date if you are prepared to show her that you are just the guy she’s looking for!

What does a girl look for in a man? What does she look for in you?

1. First of all, she wants you to be physically fit — to have a well-built, well-cared-for body.

A body that you’re proud to own. A body that looks good when seen at the beach or in business clothes.

A body she won’t be ashamed to be seen with!

She doesn’t expect a muscular monster, and you don’t have to continually flex your muscles, nor spread your lats from Maine to California, nor expand your chest till the buttons on your shirt burst off. The secret is to be natural!

At the same time, you can be sure that she will not tolerate a man of sloppy posture — the human willow-tree. Nor will the man who is skinny or scrawny, who has no pep and ambition, win her regard. She wants no “Johnny-sit-by-the-fire.” She’s young and vital and radiant with good health, and she expects you to meet her point for point in this respect.

Of course, as a pupil of mine, you have been building your body to just the specifications she desires — and so on this point you can’t very likely go wrong. Just follow the instructions in my course, as I send them to you each week.

I have continually coached you on building handsome, shapely, well-defined muscles. I’ve given you pointers on posture. I’ve taught you how to have useful muscles as well as “showy” ones. The only thing you now will need in the “muscles department” is to maintain your present gains, and to work for ever-greater symmetry and classical proportions. This, I know, I can count on you to do.

2. She wants you to be clean and well groomed.

Shining from glossy, healthy hair and sparkling white teeth, right down to his well-shined shoes.

Never let yourself “offend,” as the deodorant advertisements read. Bathe at least once a day…and certainly bathe before meeting your date. But for some men bathing is not enough. Just because you may use a soap absolutely guaranteed to kill body odor does not mean that it’s guaranteed in your case.

Get a good men’s deodorant, such as Mennen’s or Odorono…something that stops the odor but not the perspiration. Don’t use “anti-perspirants” which block the pores…just use something that blocks the odor. Don’t be “half-safe.”

Another thing that will cost you the second date with your dream girl is to be overly generous in using cologne or after-shave lotion which is rather “loud.” Remember…when you are squiring your girl to a dance or party she is also dressing to please you. Now if she is wearing a heady perfume that set her back about $20 an ounce, and you arrive on a wave of spicy cologne or after-shave lotion that cost about two bucks, your scent will over-power hers, and the combination will be so “noisy” that both of you will find yourselves in a little island of your own on the dance floor with your friends at a safe distance away!

Rather than use any toiletry, make sure you don’t smell of anything. Let her shine in the cosmetics department…you be the showcase that sets off her beauty. If there is one supreme consideration you can offer Miss Dream Girl, it’s to be self-effacing in such matters. Believe me, she’ll love you for it!

It should be unnecessary to remind you that clean, well-pressed clothes are a “must” for a satisfactory courtship. This doesn’t mean that you have to stock up your wardrobe with $100 suits. But whether you are wearing an especially-tailored creation or a $35 suit from the “ready-to-wear,” the principle is the same…be neat, be clean, be well-pressed.

Even if you’re going on an outing, or roller-skating, or bowling, instead of to a formal dance, and you’re wearing dungarees and a T-shirt, be sure they’ve been freshly laundered…and, of course, that you’ve been bathed and deodorized.

No matter what the occasion, good grooming is most important, for it tells your girl more about your personal habits than any words could ever speak!

Women don’t want “fashion-plates” for dates, but they do want their men to look so good that they can be proud to be seen with them.

3. She wants you to treat her with respect…like a lady.

When you are introduced to a girl, don’t grab her hand and shake it like a rat terrier manhandling a mouse. Don’t even reach for her hand until she offers it to you.

If she does extend it, take it — press it firmly for a moment, then let go. Don’t try to send her messages in Morse Code by clinging, fondling and pressing her hand. She’ll get the message, but the answer will be “NO!”

Respond to her greeting in the same manner. If she gives you a bear-hug of a handshake (if that’s how hearty she is), respond in kind. Don’t be weak if she is strong. If she is more delicate, be more gentle yourself.

When you’re out on a date with her, know that she does not want to be pawed right away. She does not want you to assume that she is “easy.” She’ll have more respect for you and more eagerly want your attentions if you are not too free with them. She will enjoy being won more if you let her believe that she is winning you!

Don’t do all the selling yourself…be a bit reserved, a bit cautious, not so headlong…let her do some of the work. There’ll be a mutual respect if you do.

4. She wants you to be able to hold your own conversationally as well as physically.

It is quite possible that the girl who has bowled you over is some­what shy herself. Not every girl has perfect poise and self-possession. Maybe she needs a bit of conversational “priming” to get her going.

If this is the case — or if she is so darned self-confident that she can tell you off at fifty paces — you can keep her interest in you growing by leaps and bounds by getting her to talk. To do this, you will have to learn the simple art of ending the first few introduc­tory sentences with a question which she has to answer. And, chances are, if you get her verbal “pump” started, she’ll be a gushing Niagara in a few moments. From then, you can talk about anything.

5. She wants to know that she has been noticed.

Vain? Perhaps, but human.

You will win her favorable attention if you let her know that she has attracted you. You can assure her of this by using sentences like these:

  • “I’m so glad to meet you. I noticed you when you came in, and hoped that we’d have a chance to get acquainted.”
  • “Didn’t I see you on Main Street this afternoon? I noticed you in front of Jefferson’s.”
  • “Just what color would you say your dress is? It’s such an unusual shade and I wonder what it is.”

In every case you have said that there is something unique about her which attracted your attention. Everyone likes to think he or she is different. In this way you are subtly flattering her. She’ll eat it up, too!

6. She wants you to be charming — not only to herself — but to her friends.

She relishes the opportunity to “show you off” to them, to have them admire her good taste in choosing you.

You can be charming. No matter how shy and awkward you may think your­self, you can make yourself charming and attractive.

Arthur Murray, the famous dancing teacher, was so much taller and more unattractive than all the other boys that he never dared to show up at a high school dance. He was miserable and had a terrible inferiority complex until after he graduated. Then he learned the greatest prin­ciple of being charming and gracious. It has made him the successful man he is today…and the delight of every feminine student in his vast classes.

He learned that the secret of true charm is not to think of yourself, but to think of the other fellow first and to make it easy for him to you, and then to respect you and enjoy you.

What is charm, then? It’s simply consideration for others. For when you consider another’s feelings, desires, and needs above your own, how can he or she fail to respond generously? Who could turn you away? Who could say “no”?

TRY IT AND SEE!

Sincerely Yours,

Joe Weider

“Trainer of Champions”

Last updated: May 21, 2017

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