{"id":137657,"date":"2021-07-21T09:27:12","date_gmt":"2021-07-21T14:27:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/?p=137657"},"modified":"2026-09-14T08:33:40","modified_gmt":"2026-09-14T13:33:40","slug":"the-curse-of-the-self-podcast","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/character\/self-improvement\/the-curse-of-the-self-podcast\/","title":{"rendered":"Podcast #725: The Curse of the Self"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>What a gift the human self is. It enables you to sense and reflect upon your own existence; examine the past and plan for the future; check certain impulses in order to reach for other aims; and conceptualize how others see you, allowing you to better connect with them.<\/p>\n<p>But, my guest says, the blessing of the self also comes with a curse, one we need to get a handle on if we&#8217;re to live flourishing lives. His name is Mark Leary, and he&#8217;s a professor emeritus of psychology and neuroscience and the author of<a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/3eEyiGa\"><em> The Curse of the Self: Self-Awareness, Egotism, and the Quality of Human Life<\/em><\/a>. Today on the show, Mark unpacks exactly what the self is and its vital benefits, before delving into the downsides that also come with having a self. Mark then shares how people can make the most of the advantages of the self, while mitigating its disadvantages, including the practice he most recommends for quieting the kinds of self-related thoughts and ego-driven behaviors that can make us miserable.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What a gift the human self is. It enables you to sense and reflect upon your own existence; examine the past and plan for the future; check certain impulses in order to reach for other aims; and conceptualize how others see you, allowing you to better connect with them. But, my guest says, the blessing [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":195117,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[502,156,42388],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-137657","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character","category-podcast","category-self-improvement"],"featured_image_urls":{"large":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/725-538x280.png","medium_large":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/725-768x432.png","aom":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/725-372x230.png","reactor-320":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/725-320x180.png","reactor-640":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/725-640x360.png"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v28.4 (Yoast SEO v28.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Podcast #725: The Curse of the Self | The Art of Manliness<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Interview with psychologist Mark Leary about his book The Curse of the Self. He shares the benefits and downsides of having a sense of self.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/character\/self-improvement\/the-curse-of-the-self-podcast\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Podcast #725: The Curse of the Self | The Art of Manliness\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Interview with psychologist Mark Leary about his book The Curse of the Self. He shares the benefits and downsides of having a sense of self.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/character\/self-improvement\/the-curse-of-the-self-podcast\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Art of Manliness\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"http:\/\/facebook.com\/artofmanliness\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-07-21T14:27:12+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-09-14T13:33:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/725.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1280\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"720\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Brett &amp; Kate McKay\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@artofmanliness\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@artofmanliness\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Brett &amp; Kate McKay\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/character\\\/self-improvement\\\/the-curse-of-the-self-podcast\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/character\\\/self-improvement\\\/the-curse-of-the-self-podcast\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Brett &amp; Kate McKay\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/e4ed6cc1b40b6de48739267a953ef2b3\"},\"headline\":\"Podcast #725: The Curse of the Self\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-07-21T14:27:12+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-09-14T13:33:40+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/character\\\/self-improvement\\\/the-curse-of-the-self-podcast\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":183,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/character\\\/self-improvement\\\/the-curse-of-the-self-podcast\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2021\\\/07\\\/725.png\",\"articleSection\":[\"Character\",\"Podcast\",\"Self-Improvement\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"copyrightYear\":\"2021\",\"copyrightHolder\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/#organization\"}},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/character\\\/self-improvement\\\/the-curse-of-the-self-podcast\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/character\\\/self-improvement\\\/the-curse-of-the-self-podcast\\\/\",\"name\":\"Podcast #725: The Curse of the Self | The Art of Manliness\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/character\\\/self-improvement\\\/the-curse-of-the-self-podcast\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/character\\\/self-improvement\\\/the-curse-of-the-self-podcast\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2021\\\/07\\\/725.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-07-21T14:27:12+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-09-14T13:33:40+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/e4ed6cc1b40b6de48739267a953ef2b3\"},\"description\":\"Interview with psychologist Mark Leary about his book The Curse of the Self. 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