{"id":107357,"date":"2019-11-11T12:10:42","date_gmt":"2019-11-11T18:10:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/?p=107357"},"modified":"2026-09-22T11:28:04","modified_gmt":"2026-09-22T16:28:04","slug":"handle-difficult-conversations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/handle-difficult-conversations\/","title":{"rendered":"Podcast #559: How to Handle Difficult Conversations"},"content":{"rendered":"

Asking for a raise. Disagreeing with your boss. Telling your neighbor that their dog’s barking is bothering you. Talking about money with your spouse. Debating politics with a friend. These are all difficult conversations fraught with anxiety, anger, and awkwardness. Many people just avoid them, but my guest says that with the right framework, you can handle even the most pitfall-laden exchanges. Her name is Sheila Heen<\/a>, she’s spent twenty years developing negotiation theory and practice as part of the Harvard Negotiation Project, and she’s one of the co-authors of the book Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most<\/em>.<\/a> Sheila starts things off by sharing the most common difficult conversations people encounter professionally and personally and the most common unhelpful ways people deal with them. She then explains how every difficult conversation actually has three hidden conversations going on, how people confuse the impact of what others say and do with their intentions, how you can acknowledge your contribution to a problem without assuming the blame, how to share your emotions without being emotional, and how to generally move a conversation from being about combative confrontation, to being about exploring each other’s stories. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Asking for a raise. Disagreeing with your boss. Telling your neighbor that their dog’s barking is bothering you. Talking about money with your spouse. Debating politics with a friend. These are all difficult conversations fraught with anxiety, anger, and awkwardness. Many people just avoid them, but my guest says that with the right framework, you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":195257,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[156,42379,42293],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-107357","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-podcast","category-social","category-social-skills"],"featured_image_urls":{"large":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/559-538x280.png","medium_large":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/559-768x432.png","aom":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/559-372x230.png","reactor-320":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/559-320x180.png","reactor-640":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/559-640x360.png"},"yoast_head":"\nHow to Handle Difficult Conversations | Art of Manliness<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Difficult conversations are fraught with anxiety, anger, and awkwardness. Many people just avoid them, but with the right framework, you can handle them.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/handle-difficult-conversations\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Podcast #559: How to Handle Difficult Conversations | The Art of Manliness\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Difficult conversations are fraught with anxiety, anger, and awkwardness. Many people just avoid them, but with the right framework, you can handle them.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/handle-difficult-conversations\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Art of Manliness\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"http:\/\/facebook.com\/artofmanliness\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-11-11T18:10:42+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-09-22T16:28:04+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/559.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1280\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"720\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Brett\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@artofmanliness\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@artofmanliness\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Brett\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/handle-difficult-conversations\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/handle-difficult-conversations\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Brett\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/84a51044fb965564cde35d18f7e0a832\"},\"headline\":\"Podcast #559: How to Handle Difficult Conversations\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-11-11T18:10:42+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-09-22T16:28:04+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/handle-difficult-conversations\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":208,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/handle-difficult-conversations\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2019\\\/11\\\/559.png\",\"articleSection\":[\"Podcast\",\"Social\",\"Social Skills\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"copyrightYear\":\"2019\",\"copyrightHolder\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/#organization\"}},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/handle-difficult-conversations\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/handle-difficult-conversations\\\/\",\"name\":\"How to Handle Difficult Conversations | Art of Manliness\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/handle-difficult-conversations\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/handle-difficult-conversations\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2019\\\/11\\\/559.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-11-11T18:10:42+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-09-22T16:28:04+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/84a51044fb965564cde35d18f7e0a832\"},\"description\":\"Difficult conversations are fraught with anxiety, anger, and awkwardness. Many people just avoid them, but with the right framework, you can handle them.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/handle-difficult-conversations\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/handle-difficult-conversations\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/handle-difficult-conversations\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2019\\\/11\\\/559.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2019\\\/11\\\/559.png\",\"width\":1280,\"height\":720},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/handle-difficult-conversations\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Podcast #559: How to Handle Difficult Conversations\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"The Art of Manliness\",\"description\":\"Men's Interest and Lifestyle\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/84a51044fb965564cde35d18f7e0a832\",\"name\":\"Brett\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/artofmanliness.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/author\\\/brett\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO Premium plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How to Handle Difficult Conversations | Art of Manliness","description":"Difficult conversations are fraught with anxiety, anger, and awkwardness. Many people just avoid them, but with the right framework, you can handle them.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/handle-difficult-conversations\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Podcast #559: How to Handle Difficult Conversations | The Art of Manliness","og_description":"Difficult conversations are fraught with anxiety, anger, and awkwardness. Many people just avoid them, but with the right framework, you can handle them.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/handle-difficult-conversations\/","og_site_name":"The Art of Manliness","article_publisher":"http:\/\/facebook.com\/artofmanliness","article_published_time":"2019-11-11T18:10:42+00:00","article_modified_time":"2026-09-22T16:28:04+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1280,"height":720,"url":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/559.png","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"Brett","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@artofmanliness","twitter_site":"@artofmanliness","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Brett","Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/handle-difficult-conversations\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/handle-difficult-conversations\/"},"author":{"name":"Brett","@id":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/#\/schema\/person\/84a51044fb965564cde35d18f7e0a832"},"headline":"Podcast #559: How to Handle Difficult Conversations","datePublished":"2019-11-11T18:10:42+00:00","dateModified":"2026-09-22T16:28:04+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/handle-difficult-conversations\/"},"wordCount":208,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/handle-difficult-conversations\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/559.png","articleSection":["Podcast","Social","Social Skills"],"inLanguage":"en-US","copyrightYear":"2019","copyrightHolder":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/#organization"}},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/handle-difficult-conversations\/","url":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/handle-difficult-conversations\/","name":"How to Handle Difficult Conversations | Art of Manliness","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/handle-difficult-conversations\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/handle-difficult-conversations\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/559.png","datePublished":"2019-11-11T18:10:42+00:00","dateModified":"2026-09-22T16:28:04+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/#\/schema\/person\/84a51044fb965564cde35d18f7e0a832"},"description":"Difficult conversations are fraught with anxiety, anger, and awkwardness. Many people just avoid them, but with the right framework, you can handle them.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/handle-difficult-conversations\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/handle-difficult-conversations\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/handle-difficult-conversations\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/559.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/559.png","width":1280,"height":720},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/handle-difficult-conversations\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Podcast #559: How to Handle Difficult Conversations"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/","name":"The Art of Manliness","description":"Men's Interest and Lifestyle","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/#\/schema\/person\/84a51044fb965564cde35d18f7e0a832","name":"Brett","sameAs":["http:\/\/artofmanliness.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/author\/brett\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107357","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=107357"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107357\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/195257"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=107357"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=107357"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=107357"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}