Trust. It certainly makes life easier when it exists. Instead of having to craft complicated contracts for a business deal, a simple handshake will do. Instead of surveilling your spouse like the NSA, you take them at their word.
But trust, it seems, is in short supply these days. We’re afraid of trusting people and we have a hard time getting people to trust us. How can you establish trust in even the most toxic environments?
My guest today thinks he has the answer to that question. His name is Robin Dreeke, and he’s spent his career working in a field where trust is hard to get but important to have — doing counterintelligence for the FBI. Robin’s recently published a book sharing how he has been able to gain the trust of people who aren’t very keen on trusting others. It’s called The Code of Trust.
Today on the show, Robin shares the five rules of building trust with anyone — no matter how suspicious they are of you. While these rules may seem like they’re an invitation to become a human doormat, Robin explains why that’s not the case, and how they actually make you more influential.
Whether you’re working with spies, like Robin, or just want to build more trust in your office or relationships, you’re going to find plenty of interesting and actionable advice in this podcast.
- Why trust was so important in Robin’s career as a counterintelligence expert
- The importance of seeking out others’ thoughts, opinions, and dreams
- Why has establishing trust become so hard?
- How trust makes life much easier
- Suspending your ego and vanity in order to establish trust
- How to validate people
- How to be non-judgmental, even when you don’t approve of someone’s choice
- What it means to “honor reason”
- Being emotionally detached in the heat of the moment
- The importance of being more generous
- Why this isn’t a formula for being a human doormat
- “Never argue context” — what this means, and why Robin thinks it’s so important
- Why the platinum rule is more helpful than the golden rule
- Applying these principles to digital communication
- Is it easy to gain and maintain trust?
- What to do if you’re in a toxic workplace
Resources/People/Articles Mentioned in Podcast
- Why and How to Offer More Compliments
- Want People to Hear Your Message? Let Them Overhear It
- How to Build Relationships That Don’t Scale
- Podcast: Ego is the Enemy
- Podcast: Extreme Ownership
- How to REALLY Be Alpha Like the Wolf
- How to Be More Assertive
- The Platinum Rule by Tony Alessandra
- The 15 Maxims of Being a Reliable Man
- How to Deal With Bad Coworkers
Connect With Robin
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Art of Charm Podcast. One of the few podcasts I listen to when not recording my own. Check out all they have to offer at www.artofcharm.com. Don’t miss one of their recent episodes with R. Douglas Fields.
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Last updated: November 17, 2017