There has lately been a definite dearth of articles on every pundit’s favorite thoroughly beaten dead horse of a subject: “What’s wrong with men?” But Dr. Peggy Drexler fills the void with an article on the Huffington Post.
The article actually starts out with some interesting facts. To wit:
- A study of 5,000 American adults found that more men are interested in attachment and commitment, while more women wanted to preserve some of their independence in a relationship.
- Half of single men 21 to 35 wanted kids, where for women in that age group, the number was 46 percent.
- A 2007 survey by the employment website Monster.com found that 70 percent of fathers would consider being a stay at home parent if money were no object.
Good fodder for discussion there, but the rest of the article is blather about how being committed in a relationship and being more involved as fathers can either be seen as men become more feminized or more liberated and humanized. Leaving out the third option: being committed to your wife and kids makes you more manly, not less so.
And then the doctor includes the requisite insult towards men always found in this type of article by saying:
“While some wail over the declining state of manhood implied by the statistics, there is also the very real possibility that men are evolving from swaggering through life in some cartoon interpretation of what men are supposed to be — to becoming more fully-formed human beings free to find out what they can be.”
As always, the authors of these article locate manliness in superficialities as opposed to character and virtue.
But anyway, I actually wanted to post about this because there were a couple of real gems in the comments:
“The problem is twofold: masculine energy has to be “curved” to be accepted by society and men have gone along with it. We’ve allowed this sorry idea to be a social paradigm: masculine energy = rape, mayhem and ignorance while female energy = love, nurturing and intelligence. The shadow-side of one VS the evolved side of the other. Women want men to be more like women and then complain there are no “real” men out there. The whole thing is ridiculous.”
A very insightful point here: so often we compare the best of women to the worst of men. And of course men then always come out the losers.
And I loved this quote from a user named “Tresco:”
“A society that despises its men gets despicable men.”