Preventing Swamp Crotch: 10 Products “Scientifically” Tested

by Brett on August 13, 2013 · 214 comments

in Dress & Grooming

swampheader

It’s a problem that has plagued men ever since Western society decided the male of our species had to wear pants instead of breezy togas or kilts.

I’m talking about swamp crotch: an uncomfortably moist nether region in which irritating chafing and stickage become commonplace and a distinct vinegar odor permeates from your groin.

Outbreaks of swamp crotch typically occur during hot and humid summers. Men who spend hours working hard in hot conditions — like soldiers and construction workers — are most susceptible to swamp crotch, though it can also strike men who spend a lot of time sitting — like motorcyclists, delivery truck drivers, and even office workers.

As a lifelong resident of perpetually hot and humid Oklahoma, I’ve had to battle swamp crotch every summer for most of my life. And I know that there are millions of men out there who are suffering silently from this summertime plague.

The problem is that while there are plenty of products out there designed to prevent swamp crotch, nobody has really taken the time to test how effective each one is. As a result, men end up wasting money on products that offer sub-par results.

So this summer as a service to men everywhere, I decided I would scientifically test various swamp crotch prevention products and offer my unbiased findings. And by “scientifically” I mean I applied all of these products to my balls.

Below is my report.

The Line-Up

all

Yes. Yes, I did apply all of these products to my groinal area. For science, of course.

Over the past month I personally tested the following 10 swamp crotch prevention products:

  • Gold Bond Powder
  • Gold Bond Powder Spray
  • All-Natural Cornstarch
  • Fresh Balls
  • Jack Black Dry Down Friction-Free Powder
  • Anti-Monkey Butt Powder
  • Balla Powder
  • Baby Powder
  • Pinaud-Clubman Body Powder
  • Dry+Goods Spray

General Observations

scientists

  • Talcum-based products offer longer wetness protection than cornstarch-based products.
  • The big downside with all powders is mess. If you’re not careful, it can get everywhere; if you put too much powder on, it can seep through your clothing, leaving behind a white powdery butt-print on whatever you were sitting on.
  • Never underestimate the soothing, cooling, and tingling pleasure of medicated powder.
  • Sprays are uncomfortably cold on your sensitive man parts.
  • There are lots of companies taking regular old talcum powder, slapping a label on it with a silly name referring to a man’s genitals, and charging you an arm and a leg. Or an arm and a nut. Don’t be fooled.
  • While talcum-based products last longer and are completely safe for men (despite websites and emails from your Aunt Nancy that say it causes testicular cancer), there are some studies that indicate talcum powder may increase the risk of ovarian cancer in women. Granted, the studies are inconclusive, but most doctors play it safe and recommend that gals use a cornstarch-based body powder instead of talcum powder when dusting their lady parts. If you plan on getting intimate with a woman, you’ll probably want to rinse off before you chaka chaka or at least forgo using talcum powder just to be on the safe side. We don’t want any deaths by Snu-Snu on our watch.

Gold Bond Medicated Powder

goldbond

An anti-swamp crotch standby since 1908. This is how Gramps powdered the balls of steel that stormed their way up Normandy. I’ve used Gold Bond Medicated Powder since my high school football days to keep a cool crotch during hot and humid Oklahoma summers. Gold Bond is triple medicated to keep you cool, dry, and itch-free. It’s talcum-based so it has long-lasting dryness protection. What sets Gold Bond apart from the rest of the products on this list is its trademark cooling menthol. When you first apply Gold Bond, it sort of burns…in a good way. After the initial invigorating cooling sensation, for the next few hours, the menthol leaves your crotch feeling like it’s cocooned in a cooling, wintergreen wonderland even though the thermostat outside says it’s 100 degrees. AoM commenter Mark aptly described Gold Bond as “Altoids for your nuts.” Indeed, Mark. Indeed.

The only downside I’ve found with Gold Bond Powder (and all body powders) is the mess. The stuff has a tendency to end up everywhere even though you were only aiming for your nether regions. My two-year-old, Gus, got his hands on the shaker one day, gave it a firm squeeze, and in two seconds it looked like Tony Montana sneezed all over my closet. Another mess factor that all body/ball powder has is that they have a tendency to sift through cotton fabrics, causing the user to leave behind white butt imprints on whatever piece of furniture they happened to be sitting on.

Pros

  • Menthol gives you that classic Gold Bond Powder cooling/burning sensation
  • Keeps you dry all day
  • If you already have skin irritation down there, this helps soothe it

Cons

  • Powder can be messy, especially if your toddler gets his hands on it

Gold Bond Medicated Powder Spray

gbspray

Recently Gold Bond came out with an aerosol spray that applies their patented triple-medicated powder without the mess of the traditional shaker. It’s being sold as a solution to the drawback mentioned above — a tidier alternative to the traditional powder that we all know and love.

Applying Gold Bond with a spray is definitely less messy than shaking it on — you only hit what you aim for. The powder comes out of the can wet, but then quickly dries. Make sure to hold the can well away from your danglers. The spray comes out strongly and is painful if you have the nozzle too close to your junk. The spray propellent (HFC -152a) is a refrigerant so it comes out cold, too. Consequently, the usual cooling/burning sensation you get with Gold Bond Powder is much more intense with the spray. Uncomfortably intense.

Potential crotch sensitivity aside, I’m a big fan of this 21st century Gold Bond update. It keeps you dry for just as long as the original powder and has the same classic menthol smell and sensation — all without the cascade of ball-soothing snow.

Pros

  • Less mess than the powder
  • More directed coverage
  • Same classic Gold Bond menthol cooling/burning sensation
  • Lasts all day

Cons

  • The propellant intensifies the usual cooling/burning sensation.  That could be a good thing for some people. It was a little too much for me.
  • Cost (7-ounce can is $7.79 compared to $7.79 for a 10-ounce bottle of the powder)

Cornstarch

cornstarch

I learned about the secret swamp crotch preventing capabilities of cornstarch when I lived in Tijuana over a decade ago. Because I spent most my days walking from sun up to sun down in the hot Baja California sun, swamp crotch was a big problem. On a particularly hot day, I ran out of Gold Bond Powder and wasn’t looking forward to the chafing I would be encountering. I mentioned it to my Mexican friend and he suggested I sprinkle on some cornstarch.

Dubiously, I dusted my huevos with some cornstarch that we had in the pantry and set out for a day of work. And, I’ll be darned, the stuff worked. I was completely dry and chafe free…for a few hours. In my experience, cornstarch just doesn’t last very long as a swamp crotch subduer compared to talcum powder. If you really work up a sweat, really fast, the cornstarch has a tendency to clump — not a very pleasant feeling to have in your pants.

Another potential downside to cornstarch (depending on your viewpoint) is that there’s no scent. Personally, I like to have a bit of fragrance in my swamp crotch tamers.

On the upside, cornstarch is cheap, readily available, and all-natural.

Because of its short life span and clumping tendencies, I only use cornstarch when I’m in a pinch.

Pros

  • Cheap
  • Readily available
  • Scent-free (some people like that)
  • All-natural
  • Can also be used to make gravy

Cons

  • No scent
  • No nice, tingly “I feel fresh” sensation
  • Doesn’t last long
  • Tends to clump if you get really sweaty

Fresh Balls

dryballs

I first heard about Fresh Balls after watching Morgan Spurlock’s documentary Mansome, in which I also make an appearance (really, really briefly).

While most of the products on this list were designed to be used on multiple parts of the body, Fresh Balls was specifically designed to keep a man’s stones fresh and dry. The guy who started Fresh Balls experimented for years in his home in Las Vegas (a place notorious for swamp crotch) to find the perfect solution to the age old problem of sweaty balls and batwings (when your scrotum sticks to the side of your leg due to excessive sweating). He was tired of messy powders so he looked for another medium with which to apply his swamp crotch-quelling compound.

His answer: use a lotion instead of a powder.

When I saw Fresh Balls on Mansome, I remember thinking, “How can a lotion keep your junk dry?”

I’m not sure exactly how it works, but Fresh Balls lotion goes on wet, and then dries immediately. Magically, it leaves behind no residue.

When you first apply Fresh Balls, you’ll experience a gentle, warming sensation on the skin. I believe that’s the tea tree oil in the product working its magic. The lotion has a subdued fresh and masculine scent. Another bonus is that Fresh Balls dryness protection goes the distance. I was dry all day from just one application in the morning. It somehow does this without using talc.

One thing that really stood out to me about Fresh Balls is how testosterone-friendly it is. Unlike many lotions, it doesn’t contain any testosterone-reducing xenoestrogens like parabens.

It’s hard to take a product called Fresh Balls seriously. I’ll admit I was dubious about its effectiveness when I first tried it, but this lotion lives up to its name. I’m a fan.

Pros

  • Absolutely no mess
  • Surprisingly keeps you dry even though it’s a lotion
  • Has a nice, warm feel right when you put it on
  • Fresh, manly scent
  • Testosterone friendly — contains no parabens or aluminum

Cons

  • Cost ($12.99 for a 3-ounce tube)

Jack Black Dry Down Friction-Free Powder

jackblack

Jack Black has been making men’s skin care products since 2005. They’re a favorite of AoM style writer Antonio Centeno. Their Dry Down Friction-Free Powder is an all-natural wetness prevention powder made from cornstarch, lavender, and organic green tea.

My initial reaction to Dry Down was, “This smells great!” The lavender scent definitely harkens to old-school barber aftershaves and the green tea gives a pleasant tingle when you first apply it.

While Jack Black smells and feels great, I found that its wetness protection couldn’t stand the heat (literally). Things were fresh and dry for just about an hour. I think the cornstarch base is to blame for the short dryness protection.

The other downside of Dry Down is the cost; $20 for a six-ounce shaker. That’s a little too much for my tastes for what is effectively just scented cornstarch.

Pros

  • Smells good (green tea and lavender)
  • Green tea gives you pleasant tingly feeling
  • All-natural

Cons

  • Expensive ($19.99 for a 6-ounce shaker)
  • Doesn’t last very long

Anti-Monkey Butt

monkeybutt

I’ve had several readers over the years recommend Anti-Monkey Butt to me. “Monkey Butt” is a term used by motorcycle riders to describe the soreness, itching, and redness that comes from sitting and sweating on a motorcycle for hours. Anti-Monkey Butt is designed to cure and prevent such maladies. The calamine in Anti-Monkey Butt soothes irritation you may already have, while the talcum keeps you dry to prevent further irritation. The scent is light and fresh, but I wouldn’t describe it as manly. Unisex I guess.

Dryness protection is great with Anti-Monkey Butt. Lasted me all day even though I was doing a lot of outdoor chores in the heat. I wish the calamine was a bit stronger, however. I like my swamp crotch powders to burn a bit so I know they’re working.

Pros

  • Great wetness protection
  • Affordable ($8 for a six-ounce shaker)

Cons

  • The calamine could be stronger and the scent is nothing to write home about

Balla Powder

balla

Balla Powder is basically a talcum powder with a cheeky name that hints at its intended use. First thing that stuck out to me about this product was the price tag — $13 for 5.6 ounces of talcum powder. I’m guessing the added price is for the mediocre fragrance.

Balla Powder did provide decent wetness protection. But then again I could have gotten the same effect with another talcum powder for 1/3 the price.

My recommendation: you’re better off using something else.

Pros

  • Lasted all day like any other talcum powder

Cons

  • Expensive –$12.99 for just 5.6 ounces
  • No invigorating tingling sensation
  • Smell is…okay

Baby Powder

babypowder

Your mom dusted your little dangly bits with baby powder to keep things fresh and dry, so it must have the same effect as an adult, right? Yes, with a caveat. I’ve used baby powder a few times over the years to fend off swamp crotch and it works pretty swell. Smells great — like baby powder. (Bonus: It’s a scent that research has shown women find attractive. Not that you’ll have women bending over to smell your crotch during the day. Or maybe you will. You never know these days.) It’s also insanely cheap. A giant 15-ounce bottle will only set you back $4 (put that in your pipe and smoke it Balla Powder!)

If you want decent swamp crotch protection, make sure to spring for a talcum-based baby powder. Cornstarch-based powder didn’t last that long… for me anyways.

Pros

  • Smells fresh
  • Cheap
  • Lasts long (if you’re using talcum-based powder)

Cons

  • Doesn’t last very long (cornstarch-based)
  • No invigorating tingle

Pinaud-Clubman Powder

pinaud

One of my favorite parts of getting a haircut is when the barber uses a straight razor to shave my neck and the hairline behind my ears. After he’s done, he gives me a light dusting with some manly smelling talc. The talcum helps soothe the skin after its close encounter with the blade. For decades, the talcum of choice for neighborhood barbers has been Pinaud-Clubman. It has a very masculine smell. Somewhat similar to the Pinaud-Clubman aftershave, but much more subtle.

I figured you could also use this talcum-based powder as a swamp crotch defender and I was correct. This was one of my favorite powders during my tests. It kept me dry down “there” all day and best of all, my crotch smelled like a barber shop. Bully!

 Pros

  • Makes your crotch smell like a barber shop
  • Slight invigorating tingle
  • Cheap

Cons

  • As with all powders, it can get messy

 Dry+Goods Athletic Spray

drygoods

Dry+Goods Athletic Spray is a no-mess powder spray that keeps you dry and cool all day long. It was one of my favorite products throughout the testing period. The type I bought doesn’t have much of a scent, which was fine. Dry+Goods does offer a menthol version to give you that nice, tingling feeling when you apply it. Wetness protection was fantastic. One application in the morning was all I needed.

As with the Gold Bond Powder Spray, you’ll want to be careful when applying Dry+Goods. The spray propellent comes out cold and strong. Make sure to hold the nozzle the recommend 6 to 9 inches away from your bird’s eggs when applying.

Pros

  • Direct application
  • No mess
  • Long lasting

Cons

  • Feels very cold when applied (could be a good thing)
  • Cost ($16 for a can)

Concluding Thoughts

Based on my highly scientific research, I can heartily recommend almost any talcum-based body powder as an effective swamp crotch slayer. Which one you go with will depend on 1) how much you want to spend and 2) what you want your groin to smell like.

But if you’re looking for my personal recommendations here are the five that I would recommend, in order of preference:

  1. Fresh Balls 
  2. Gold Bond Powder Spray
  3. Dry+Goods Spray
  4. Gold Bond Powder
  5. Pinaud-Clubman

What’s your preferred swamp crotch preventer? Let us know in the comments!

{ 214 comments… read them below or add one }

101 JJ August 14, 2013 at 6:49 pm

Saxx underwear feature a hammock for your crotch basically, they have a variety of underwear some with wicking and provide an alternative.

102 Pete August 14, 2013 at 7:57 pm

@Nicholas: Nope, no powder or spray works for any of those. Any powder or spray comes off immediately upon your first water insertion. Best thing for those is to either go commando or wear one of the hi-tech boxers. I wear the Under Armour boxer briefs for the Challenges. Work great. Some of the guys wear “ranger panties” and swear by those but I never tried a pair.

Another product not mentioned here is Caldesene baby powder. Has a little more horsepower than the regular stuff. That’s what I use, works awesome in the hot San Joaquin Valley oilfields.

103 Jon August 14, 2013 at 8:12 pm

Despite spending lots of time in Florida and living in SC, I’ve never needed this stuff. But I loved the article just to see all the… synonyms Brett could come up with. Great reading!

104 Tony Ricketts August 14, 2013 at 8:29 pm

I live in Gold Bond extra strength! I can live with the mess because in HUMID North Alabama it is necessary in order to survive.

105 Pappy August 14, 2013 at 8:50 pm

You mentioned how you like to feel the remedy… Let me tell you a story that happened 45 or so years ago when I was playing on my high school football team. I had a bad case of jock-itch and back in those days medications were not advertised for such unmentionable ailments and I certainly did not want to ask the druggist. I figured Asorbine Jr. would work. Fungus is fungus, am I right? I applied the evil smelling elixir, careful to not get anywhere near my “sensitive” areas. Well the fumes alone just about set my cods on fire with a burn that rivals Willie Pete. The Asorbine Jr. worked so well that I have not had a case of jock itch since…

106 Jeff August 14, 2013 at 9:05 pm

Brett,

Thanks for enduring this scientific experiment! Your article was informative and hilarious.

Jeff in Kalamazoo

107 Brucifer August 14, 2013 at 9:05 pm

be advised that some studies have pointed to Lavender as another possible testosterone sapper.

108 Grizzly August 14, 2013 at 9:11 pm

Thank you for the review.

One more potential drawback regarding the cornstarch-based products: I have heard reports that cornstarch-based powders can have a tendency to promote fungus growth, whether it be for baby bottoms or manly bits. Jock-itch is the last thing we want to encourage when using such products.

109 Hunter August 14, 2013 at 9:32 pm

In south Louisiana we experience literal swamp crotch on a regular basis. I think the most popular go to for me and a lot of my cajun buddies is Boudreaux’s Butt-Paste. I grew up using this stuff and the way I see it, if it is good enough to keep a baby from crying then it sure is heck will keep me from crying.

110 Rocky August 14, 2013 at 9:43 pm

I’ve had this issue for a long time and the only thing that really, consistantly works for me is Zeasorb. +++++

http://www.zeasorb.com/

It is a powder but you dont need to use much. Has worked for 5 years in many different climates (Houston to Perth).

111 Doc G August 14, 2013 at 10:42 pm

It might be too simple, but if you carry a small hunk of alum in each front pocket you won’t chafe. Just a piece the size of a pea works just fine. I don’t know why, but you don’t smell and you don’t chafe. Learned this from my dad, and living in Texas I have had LOTS of chances to test it out. I have never chafed when carrying a lil bit of alum in my pockets. You can buy lump alum from many canning supply houses as it is used in making preserves, too.

112 ben August 14, 2013 at 11:12 pm

A lot of the could use better names. Gold Bond or Pinaud I think are the winners.

113 Krakalaka August 14, 2013 at 11:36 pm

Laughed my balls off. I just keep a tube of cortisone cream on the counter. Don’t know the longterm effects of that, but have been using for twenty years with no ill effects.

114 Aaron Weiss August 14, 2013 at 11:38 pm

I’ve been using store brand version of Gold Bond for years and it’s done the trick. For a time, I too was concerned about the possible links to cancer, but with more research, it just doesn’t seem accurate.

I’ve been curious about Fresh Balls, which I too learned about from Mansome. Your review has piqued my interest again. Thanks for doing all the dirty work.

115 Michael August 15, 2013 at 1:35 am

“This is how Gramps powdered the balls of steel that stormed their way up Normandy.”

One of the funniest lines I’ve ever read. Thanks, Brett! Brilliant article.

116 Paul August 15, 2013 at 5:57 am

Great article. I tried it yesterday and it was the perfect occasion because I had to stand for six hours at a county fair doing a table, plus it was a “beautiful summer day in the Pacific Northwest” (read: it rained again). So my nether region would have been sweaty, itchy etc., but I applied some Gold Bond in the morning and had no issues throughout the day,

117 Fred August 15, 2013 at 6:40 am

Try a wipe with boric acid in alcohol. The boric acid kills bacteria and fungi and the alcohol cools and cleans. Good for jock itch, athlete’s foot and makes a good deodorant if you are allergic to the commercial products..

Boric acid (powder form) is cheap at any good drugstore. It is soluble in alcohol (I use ethanol).

118 Tom August 15, 2013 at 8:06 am

By far the best, I venture, is baby diaper cream with zinc oxide. It can leave white residue on underwear, but it creates a barrier to moisture, instead of absorbing it, which has its limits.

119 alvault August 15, 2013 at 9:25 am

Brett, thanks for a great article on a touchy subject. I was happy to see my decades long choice of clubman made the grade. One negative I would point out about cornstarch is that it is a food product and any bacterial yammies that want to colonize a naturally warm and moist environment could decide that dinner is being served and your manly parts may be subject to a yeast infection (yes, men can get those too, we just usually call it athletes, er, foot).

120 Glenn August 15, 2013 at 9:32 am

For the last couple months I’ve been going to the gym regularly and working up quite a sweat. By the time I am done it is a mess down there and smells even worse.

This article was found at the perfect time for me for sure. Hell I just finished placing an order for the Fresh Balls.

121 George August 15, 2013 at 11:09 am

According to my dermatologist, jock itch
begins to affect men of a certain age and will occur periodically.
Of course, in humid conditions it can affect anyone…
Apart from that, it also seems to be a man thing that we itch down there.
An itch doesn’t necessarily indicate a fungal infection.
Over-the-counter Hydrocortisone, a couple of times, will take care of it.
If it persists, that may be an indication of a fungal infection and an anti fungal is necessary.
The secret is constancy in application–twice a day for two weeks. These infections are benign but they take their time going away.
Clotrimazole , generic, is cheap and does the job.
There are others–Miconazole, etc.
One may be more effective on certain strains than another.

Talc–I use it everyday–mineral..
I don’t see what the fuss over the mess is about–there doesn’t have to be any.
I sit on the toilet, put some in the palm of my hand and apply to groin and bum—simple and no mess.

I use Gold Bond and Clubman, but any will do.

Talc, even medicated, will NOT do away with a real fungal infection; it just minimizes your chances of getting one.

A persistant itch is the indicator.

My pharmacist was not big on the medicates sprays–better to rub in the medicated cream (Clotrimazole, etc.)

122 shawn August 15, 2013 at 11:20 am

I never use any of this stuff. I have used talcum powder in the past and yes it’s wonderful stuff but I no longer have problems with crotch rot. All I did was changed my underwear. I now wear the boxer briefs that are made of polyester. I haven’t had any more problems. I had some of the Patagonia underwear but they are way too expensive and they don’t last long. I tried Under Armour and several others. The best I have found so far though I got at Target and I think they are called Champion. They are mostly polyester and they feel good. Don’t ever wear anything cotton! Ever! I hope this helps.

123 Mark August 15, 2013 at 12:56 pm

Great review! I nearly laughed my nuggets off! Good writing. I’ve been using baby powder for years because it’s cheap and it’s NOT cornstarch. I don’t really like it because it smells like…well…a baby (and my wife likes to give me hell about that too). Saw the Pinaud for the first time yesterday on my barber’s bench. Never thought about using it for dingle dust but I will now. It’s pretty cheap and I’d rather have the boys smelling like a barber shop than a baby girl’s bottom. Thanks again for a good review. Way to take one for the team, bro.

124 ace August 15, 2013 at 1:42 pm

What a hoot of an article, enjoyed it … however, you mentioned a ‘pro’ for cornstarch in that it can be used for making gravy, I would assume that would not be after the wearing of same …

125 Buesing August 15, 2013 at 2:06 pm

I have used Gold Bond Powder for years!

126 Halls of Steel August 15, 2013 at 3:19 pm

Just a few more tips to add:

1. Wash down there every shower with an anti-bacterial soap. (Regularly hand soap works fine). It helps reduce the bacterial colonies that can produce odor.

2. A good trim will also help. You don’t have to go full out Brazilian here. But taking the clippers down there to your short and curlys will give sweat, bacteria, and odor less of a place to hide.

3. I know at least one guy who uses underarm deodorant down there. Not sure how effective (or safe) it is but that could be a solution to your problem.

127 Rob August 15, 2013 at 3:58 pm

I enjoy this site as it is my retreat from our estrogen-dominated culture. You’re aces at my card table.

128 Matt August 15, 2013 at 4:15 pm

I’ve always used Gold Bond powder and I’m very happy with the results, my biggest qualm is I don’t know if I’m applying it in the most efficient way possible. Usually I just shake a little into my boxer-briefs and have done with it, but should I apply it to my hands first and go manual? Maybe stand over the bottle and give it a good squeeze with my feet? That one sounds a little extreme. Any thoughts guys?

129 Dave August 15, 2013 at 5:29 pm

Eating lots of garlic killed my jock itch. Two cloves a day…then you may end up with garlic breath, but the itch is gone.

130 Taylor August 15, 2013 at 6:53 pm

I wear brief boxers and regularly use gold bond during the hot dry summers of california. to prevent the mess I first dry everything as much as possible. Then put on my brief boxers and then apply the powder. This helps prevent the mess and then from there i “shake and bake” my nether region to evenly disburse it!

131 Paleo Bon Rurgundy August 15, 2013 at 7:00 pm

After your morning shower slather coconut oil on tour twins and inner thighs. Problem solved. Coconut oil also cures jock itch.

132 AJ August 15, 2013 at 10:06 pm

Saxx underwear combined with Gold Bond powder for me. I’m a welder by trade and wear jeans and sometimes Carharrt overalls as well as a leather welding coat at work, even on the hottest summer days. The family jewels stay cool and comfortable all day. Can’t say the same for the rest of my body though…

133 Glen August 16, 2013 at 12:48 am

I have tried talc and then moved onto A&D ointment (not dry but helps the chafing) when the heat gets bad. Neither of those worked well for me. I bought some merino wool undies and they work great. The wool is very cool in the summer, it wicks better than the synthetics and does not hold smells like the synthetics do. I got some from Minus 33. They run small and are a bit tight in the thigh but they do feel great and wear well and no swamp crotch.

134 Serafin Nunez August 16, 2013 at 5:33 am

How about just a shot of spray deodorant? Mine is mostly talc.

135 Steveareno August 16, 2013 at 2:01 pm

+1 Zeasorb. I use the “Prevention” version. Smells great. Never clumps up. Keeps the area smooth and dry. I step into the shower to apply before dressing. No muss, no fuss.

136 Eric August 16, 2013 at 3:13 pm

I would have to agree with your finding on the spray Gold Bond. I wear uniforms to work, Black pants, blue top, and it is very difficult to do without some how always getting some on pants or top.

137 Oeuf Frais August 17, 2013 at 4:49 am

Found some really good talc based powder from Thailand called St. Luke’s Prickly Heat Powder.

138 Dave Wash August 17, 2013 at 6:58 am

First, I have to say.. this website is awesome! I needed some tips on unclogging a toilet and got hooked. Actually, that’s all I wanted to say.

139 m.cast. August 17, 2013 at 6:18 pm

I have worked in construction for a long time and have always been bothered by sweaty ass and balls, who wouldnt. Reading this i went out and bought gold bond powder spray with menthol. sprayed some on in the morning ( its true its like certz for your balls) Dry all day! thanks.

140 Gage August 18, 2013 at 11:44 am

The trick with goldbond is to pull your boxer briefs 75-80% of the way up, pour in some powder, then from the outside pull down on the crotch and release slingshotting the powder to your grundle and surrounding areas.

141 Mike August 18, 2013 at 12:26 pm

I work in the humidity and homicide capital of the Midwest, Saint Louis, Missouri (Causal relationship? Discuss). The many hours I spend in the great outdoors investigating the latter, while suffering from the former, along with a slide into my forties (Hello, Long Balls!), have led me to an unscientific inquiry of swamp crotch. I won’t bore you with all the data, but here are my conclusions: #A. Cotton is rotten, go for polypro boxer briefs. They’re a sweat wicking bra for your boys. #B. Aloe Vera gel. I don’t know how it works and maybe it only works for me, but I thoroughly dry my junque after showering and liberally slather my nether regions with the salve of the ancients, and et voilà, no more crotch rot.

142 Bill August 18, 2013 at 3:00 pm

Bought a 10 oz container of body powder at Dollar store for a buck. Same color container, same ingredients as Gold Bond; made in USA- don’t seem likely, but it works!

143 Phil August 18, 2013 at 10:14 pm

If the cause is fungal (evidenced by little ring-type markings on your upper inner thighs), Tinactin creme for the first week, spray after that. Also, if possible, lose the shorts at night and shower twice daily, paying special attention to the affected area. If it persists, and this sounds weird, boil your drawers for 10 mins after laundering but before drying.

144 Kent August 19, 2013 at 8:00 am

Thanks for the humor and the great info.

145 Ryan August 19, 2013 at 8:50 am

I tried the Gold Bond spray…It was like napalm on the boys! Yahhhhh!!!!!
Ordered Fresh Balls to try.

146 Jackson August 19, 2013 at 12:13 pm

1- Sprinkle Gold Bond into a bowl
2- Dip your danglers into said bowl
3- Go about your day

147 Chris August 19, 2013 at 7:47 pm

Can I just say: the first picture (under The LIne Up) is quite the possibly my fave picture on the site. And THAT’S saying something!

148 AdamV August 20, 2013 at 8:48 am

Highly recommend any talc made by Caswell Massey

Their Number Six was a fragrance George Washington wore http://www.caswellmassey.com/number-six-talcum-powder.aspx

And Jockey Club was reportedly a favorite of JFK
http://www.caswellmassey.com/jockey-club-talc.aspx

149 SixDegrees August 20, 2013 at 10:58 am

I’ve used Gold Bond for quite a while, and I like it. But no powder/lotion/spray works as well as a pair of wicking underwear. It keeps the moisture moving away from your skin, spreading it over a wider area that evaporates quickly. I like Wickers brand, and use their undershirts as well for the same reason.

150 TnSig August 21, 2013 at 7:43 pm

Never had a need for any of these things, and I live in warm, humid Tennessee. I guess I’m blessed…judging from the comments I had no idea how common this is.

151 KudzuHighlander August 22, 2013 at 12:22 pm

You forgot the manliest swamp cooler, wear a kilt!
Fresh air keeps it cool and dry.

152 Chris Z.``````````````````````````````````````` August 22, 2013 at 3:58 pm

I sit for long periods of time and also run, a double whammy for swamp crotch. There have been times when my wife has been ready for to kick me out of the bed due to the sweaty ball odor. I bought Fresh Balls and it has really helped. Even after a 3 mile run in the middle of July, my balls are dry and odor free.

153 Scott S. August 22, 2013 at 7:07 pm

I’ve tried it all (powders, lotions, A&D ointment, zinc oxide). Swamp crotch – or squish ass I call it – is the worst for me after motorcycle rides or long runs. Gold Bond Friction Defense has changed my life.

http://www.goldbond.com/friction-defense.html

154 Frank Gucciardo August 22, 2013 at 8:44 pm

Beware gentlemen…extra strength gold bond is not to be fooled with…handle with care.

155 Mark August 23, 2013 at 2:44 pm

George said: “Talc, even medicated, will NOT do away with a real fungal infection”

Correction: Nystatin powder will; however, it requires a prescription.

156 byron August 23, 2013 at 2:57 pm

“Shower to Shower” brand “Sport powder”, Has a good manly smell contains both corn starch and talc a good price too. Hard to find, I Get mine off of Amazon.

157 Jared August 24, 2013 at 7:24 am

I’ve spent my entire life living in humid (or ridiculously hot) places around the world serving in the military. I’ve owned most of the products tested above and a few others from various countries. My conclusion is the same as Brett’s: most of the talc based products work best, and the difference among those are minor (scent/medication).
The biggest improvement I’ve had after using talc powders is wearing the correct underwear. Polyester or nylon briefs work the best for staying dry. Do not wear cotton or similar fabrics! I’ve found ExOfficio’s give-n-go briefs the most comfortable, but that comes at a high price.

158 chewielj August 28, 2013 at 12:09 pm

Gentlemen I use the gold bond then I sprinkle some babypowder to cover the scent. Best of both worlds.

159 Phil August 29, 2013 at 8:13 pm

Try big airy linen trousers

160 Mike Raether August 29, 2013 at 8:28 pm

After a week or more in a Montana elk camp, the region under my dew flap can get pretty odorous even with a daily change of wicking, anti microbial underwear. I use Scent Shield’s Hair and Body Deodorant on my pits and around my umpaloogras and it works wonderfully. It’s a scent-free, non greasy lotion and lasts and lasts. And it doesn’t take much to do the job. I’ve been using the same 12 ounce bottle for two hunting seasons now and I still have over half a bottle left.

161 Flava-Dave September 2, 2013 at 2:31 pm

I work in the oilfield so things can get real swampy real quick. When you’re in a bind Old Spice powder based deodorant works. The one when you twist the bottom it pushes out through the screen like top. Just grab a dab with 3 or 4 fingers and apply.

162 Michael September 2, 2013 at 9:18 pm

Welded for many years – think leather jacket, gloves, heavy boots etc. in Wash DC area – hazy,hot and humid. Corn starch kept things sliding around but while wearing shorts when at outdoor shooting matches got asked “What’s that white stuff running down your leg?” Fungus would set in sometimes and Lotrimine or Climatazol for a few days clears it up. Got to thinking maybe the fungus was feeding on the corn starch, Momma got complaining that it was gettting everywhere and folks stepping on the bath mat were leaving ghost prints around the house. She also complained about having to vacuum the bed and the dust drifting around at inopporturne times. Think aabout powdered donuts in teh bed. I used to apply it in the shower after drying. Well then it gets rinsed down the drain at the next shower. What happens to corn starch when you use it in gravy? Imagine that in the shower drain – keep the plumbers helper handy!
This summer I tried Gold Bond Friction, as Scott S mentions above, didn’t like it at first and went back to the corn starch but after the next itch I tried the Friction again just running up and down the smooth hairless fold between the jewel box and my leg – hey that worked. No more pulling pubes!
http://www.goldbond.com/friction-defense.html
Buy it at the grocery store.
.
.

163 lush September 4, 2013 at 4:45 am

i spray NIVEA Dry straight away both inside, pits and feet after shower.

164 Jonathan Cooper September 5, 2013 at 2:00 pm

Pre work or Workout I use degree gel deoderant down under. It prevents 100% Swamp crotch. I’ve waited tables for 8 years and this was the only thing that prevented it. Gold bond and such are only good for tratment afterward.

165 Adam September 6, 2013 at 3:19 pm

Okay gents, the most effective way to apply goldbond is to sit on the throne. Shake the powder into your best hand. Grasp your boys with the other hand and lift them out of the way. Press you powder hand against your anus and pull forward with very gentle pressure. Then release your boys pulling your powder hand forward. Keep in mind that you do not need alot of pressure. So at this point everything from the back is covered. Except now you lift your ***** and using whats left of the powder in your powder hand, tilt your powder hand and move down to cover the front of your boys. If done correctly, any access powder will fall into the stool and not on the seat or floor. Give yourself a good pat to release the extra powder from your soft and squishies and stand up. The only cleanup is a quick rinse of your powder hand and a flush of the toilet. Just enough powder is applied to last all day and nothing shakes through your clothes. I have used goldbond for almost 15 years. Its always great to share this tip with younger enlisted men in my unit. It has solved alot of problems. Its a breathmint for my balls.

166 logan September 7, 2013 at 5:43 am

lol my grandpa’s always used cornstarch, i always thought it was something weird he did. but i guess a lot of other people powder their bag with the stuff too.

167 Ben G September 9, 2013 at 11:37 am

Didn’t know other guys had this problem too. Well, ya learn something new every day.

The Gold Bond extra strength spray is awesome. Yes, the first few times were a little…..intense for the goods, but once you get used to it no problem. Keeps everything nice and cool, and no more smells either. Just one word of caution: follow the can’s directions and hold the can a respectable distance from the familily jewels. Especially with a new can it comes out with plenty of pressure. Use your imagination.

168 Kenney September 12, 2013 at 9:05 am

Before using any powder I splash some witch hazel all around the groin area, it’s cool, nice smell and I don’t have any burning sensation. Then finish off with the Clubman powder or Baby powder. Clubman on days not working, Baby on work days where I don’t want to offend but dont really care.

169 Chris D September 13, 2013 at 7:30 am

I think the proper term is swamp nutz and I think that all weather channels should have The SNI (Swamp Nutz Index)

170 Billie Rubin September 14, 2013 at 9:54 pm
171 Adam P September 18, 2013 at 11:22 am

I recently started using Gold Bond Friction Defense and I am a big fan. In my experience, it has worked just as well as the old Gold Bond powder I used for years, and it is easier to apply in stick form and doesn’t leave behind dust where you have been sitting. As for sweltering heat experience, I grew up in southeast New Mexico and now I live in West Texas. Hot is normal.

172 G.B.Duncan September 19, 2013 at 9:34 am

I’m a rather sizable chap and have spent the majority of my life in West Texas where swamp crotch may as well be a member of the family. Close kin to to Harry, the uncle that no one invites to holidays because he just stares at your daughter and eats all the rolls, I think. I’ve developed a technique that’s 100% successful at preventing swamp crotch and can avoid problems like powder migration through cotton garments. Pinaud Clubman is my powder of choice. Any talcum powder will do really, I just like the scent. The trick is in the application. Don’t set about it like a mad pastry chef rolling out dough. You don’t need to blanket the landscape in it to prevent adhesion. Instead, transfer to powder to a tin or bowl of some sort (Altoid anyone?) and use a very fine bristled brush. Since the advent of CSI there’s apparently a civilian market for fingerprint brushes… a brush what’s sole purpose is to apply a fine, even layer of powder. I picked one up on Amazon for $12 and it works flawlessly. No mess, no clumping, no seepage, no worries. I’ll admit it does feel a bit silly twirling a soft little brush about on your manly bits, but it’s certainly not as embarrassing as smelling of sweatsticles or leaving a white powdery ass-print on your bosses new ox-blood leather chair. For you other rotund fellows, a light application of invisible solid anti-perspirant and deoderant in the crevices isn’t a terrible idea either.

173 Steve Payne September 25, 2013 at 9:15 am

Loved all the advice, except for that Fred fella. Fred, the mention of “acid” associated with anything nearing the boys scares the hell out of me. Please, never place those two words (balls & acid) in the same sentence ever again.

174 Brandon September 29, 2013 at 4:55 pm

Cornstarch based baby powder works as well for me as anything ever has. It didn’t at first, though. I used to use talcum powder but the wife wanted me to switch. Cornstarch powder wasn’t doing the job for more than an hour so I gave up. I gave it another try later and found that the trick was switching to cornstarch powder at the coldest possible time of year. I don’t know why that made the difference, but it did. Now I use only cornstarch based baby powder (Johnson & Johnson) and it works great all day even in the summer.

Incidentally, I was able to switch to deodorant and ditch the antiperspirant by making the move during the winter as well.

175 Nathan October 12, 2013 at 8:15 pm

Moisture wicking underwear-

Pros- no itch/rash, no scent nothing to be applied to your crotch, cant be washed off, no mess

Cons- price, still moist, still smell like sweaty balls.

Highly recommended for sports, and daily use.

176 jasteil October 13, 2013 at 7:58 pm

I used to use a combination of the Under Armor Boxer Jock and Gold Bond Powder while deployed to the Middle East. It was an amazing combination. The boxer jocks are like most other compression shorts, but have a mesh front so your junk can breathe and not get crotch rot.

177 Michael October 19, 2013 at 5:14 am

I found the following to work best for me:
- shaved junk
- fresh lemon juice, lemon juice kills bacteria, is chemical/aluminum free and acts like a anti perspirant
- 95% + cotton underwear
- wear natural breathing pants (cotton, linen) avoid wearing denim in the summer

178 Matt October 26, 2013 at 7:11 pm

I use to use Shower to Shower brand powder but it was never easy to find. I ended up ordering from a supply company. I then went to my local Dollar Tree store and found a similar product but much cheaper, $1. Same size bottle, same type of power. One other thing that seems to help me, While in the shower I give a good once over in the anus and after getting out of the shower I would wipe that area with toilet paper.

179 Van October 28, 2013 at 11:37 am

I’ve been using my underarm deodorant for several years now…works for a long time except in the summer months, when it lasts about 5 or 6 hours.

Gotta say, though…you’ve got me curious to try Gold Bond or the Fresh Balls. lol

180 Phyllis November 6, 2013 at 2:39 am

I’ve had this problem since I hit puberty (2010) and I was too ashamed to ask anyone or mention it to anyone because I thought it was just me who went through it. I started reading AOM last year and I’m so happy I came across this today after just a random thought triggered a Google search for a ‘cure’. Currently as a student I spend many hours a day at a desk or in a chair sitting and studying and I can just feel the heat radiating from the crotch due to the pants pressing against my groin. Seriously you do not understand how excited I was to find the opening lines of your article PERFECTLY describe exactly what I was going through. Thanks so much AOM! Going to take your advice ASAP!

181 Dani November 8, 2013 at 3:08 pm

hahaha, what is it with the “nice tingly sensation” ?? hahaha , good article btw.

182 Dalton November 12, 2013 at 6:09 pm

I loved this article! I have been a staunch supporter – some might say “evangelist” or “advocate, due to my constant and enthusiastic recommendations – of this manly necessity to all of my testicle-clad co-workers throughout my career in the US Navy. Whether standing a post in the sweltering heat of southern Texas, or toting excess gear through the humidity of the Middle East, Gold Bond has never let me down!

Regarding the mess, I try to apply it while seated on the “throne” so that the mess is easily flushed away.

Originally from Oklahoma myself, I unfortunately didn’t discover this wonder powder until I after I had left the state.

I’ll have to give a couple of your other recommendations a shot! I’m particularly interested in “Fresh Balls” as it might be easier to pack while traveling.

Thanks for the great site and the great comparison!

183 Patrick Mitchell November 15, 2013 at 12:17 am

I wonder how many men realize that crotch rot is a yeast infection. The skin has natural yeast on it and we eat a lot of sugars. Add moisture and heat and you get fermentation in your privates. The best way to get rid of it is acidophilus. You can take a pill or you can just eat some yogurt with live cultures. And yes eat less sugar,

184 Darcy December 2, 2013 at 9:21 am

After many a long summer prospecting in the wilds of northern British Columbia I have found that wearing synthetic silk boxers works wonders on eliminating swamp crotch. Another method to reduce chaffing is to liberally apply Bag Balm to the chaffed area at night. By the morning it is all cleaned up. This method allows for you to build up certain calluses to the point where you no longer require anything for chaffing. Bag balm is technically not for human use but it is a true life saver, allowing a man to hike all day everyday.

185 Dan December 10, 2013 at 4:42 pm

Since most of my chafing/pain comes from my inner thighs, (I’m not fat, I’m big boned), my girlfriend suggested doing what she does: Antiperspirant.

I just use the 4.99 Old Spice stuff and I have never been happier. Use it on your balls, thighs, or wherever.

186 Ron December 21, 2013 at 6:45 pm

As a motorcyclist and former factory worker I can assure you that Gold Bond powder makes hot humid days tolerable.

187 Allison December 30, 2013 at 3:33 pm

My fella has resorted to the cornstarch trick for decades. After reading this article, I slipped a tube of Fresh Balls into his Christmas stocking which he appreciated very much. It’s definitely an upgrade!

188 Joel January 8, 2014 at 3:21 pm

As a factory worker in Florida, wearing polyester and having no air in work areas it gets pretty swampy down there especially in the summer, I have tried powders in the past but didn’t like the powder stains and the feeling of the clump of powder. Going to try Fresh Balls and see if that is better.

189 wugi January 8, 2014 at 4:28 pm

try a kilt

190 Nelson January 10, 2014 at 11:57 pm

Hüppo powder pocket gives you the comfort of talc and cornstarch, without the mess! It is time released too! Place Hüppo in the fly pocket of your briefs or boxer briefs. Powder is released every time you move. There is no spraying on cold sprays or rubbing lotion or powder on yourself. Say goodbye to messy floors, cold sprays, and lotions. Check it out for yourself http://www.gotyourhuppo.com.

191 Smed January 18, 2014 at 1:54 pm

A better idea is to use a product called “shower to shower” its basically talcum and a tiny amount of baking soda mixed with scent. But if that dont work, than use my tried and tested method, use weightlifting chalk. Its called magnesium carbonate and used in weightlifting chalk and rock climber chalk. It keeps human sweat from occuring and its proven to work for long hours keeping sweat away. Dont know why the industry hasnt tried it out yet.

192 AL January 20, 2014 at 9:04 pm

You missed gold bond friction defense roll on. It beats the crap out of everything he tried.

193 Cupcake January 22, 2014 at 1:18 pm

Stick with the Goldbond Powder men, it’s affordable, it’s got a good scent, it lasts long and can easily be sink-washed off in case of intimate activities – as for the application being rather messy – two things. A good man should always keep a handy little hand vacuum in the bathroom or nearby (beard/mustache trimmings, hair trimmings, man-scaping if you’re into that). Second, there is an applicator for just such a need – the Cosmetic Powder Puff, while generally used by women – it does highly cut down on the mess made by applying powder by hand. Also, a bathroom rug is far easier to vacuum than sweeping a porous and often wet floor.

194 Blake J January 24, 2014 at 6:44 am

Medicated gold bond has worked for me during the hot summers to maintain dryness. However, nobody has talked about remedies for when swamp crotch turns into nasty crotch rot. For me, in Texas, I have fought this since high school. The only thing that has cured this is a combination of Blue Star Ointment and vaseline………the Blue Star burns….sometimes awful (depending on the severity of your situation). So the vaseline helps dilute it some. Heck, I’ve even had to lay down and put my wife’s hair dryer on it to help cool my boys after one episode. If you go this route, start out heavy with the vaseline and slowly add the Blue Star……trust me. But, after I get a bad case, it will take 3 days and it is gone. Now I do carry swamp crotch with me almost daily…..on the verge of crotch rot………so Gold Bond and Blue Star are a part of my daily grooming.

195 MP January 24, 2014 at 11:09 pm

Zeasorb AF, powder your donuts with that and your business is in business. I was a Gold Bond Believer once , but this wins with less burning, dryness duration, and kills jock itch.

196 Logan January 25, 2014 at 7:48 am

As a long time owner of monster thighs and nuggets I have had both swamp ass and crotch rot. I prefer Zeazorb, green bottle Gold Bond, and on occasion Baby Powder. My trick for powder is to use an extra shaving brush and powder it on, like the barber does with the powder on my neck. For the rot, Tinactin or its generic work the best.

197 bob bolin January 26, 2014 at 7:54 pm

I New Orleans, swamp crotch is a reality most of year. My friends and I have tested most of these products and have rated them. Gold Bond Blue Label is my personal favorite but the regular GB is preferred by most other friends. But the big secret?? No matter what product you like….PUT IT IN THE FREEZER. Ahhh….so good. Y’all can thank me later.

198 Jade January 29, 2014 at 7:13 am

Advice from a female here… If talcum powder makes too much of a mess, use a large powder brush (please don’t borrow one from your woman) to apply instead of just going straight from the bottle. It’ll make less of a mess.

199 fnds February 1, 2014 at 10:09 am

My itching issue happens on dry and cold weather. Moisturizer works well. But in my case I found out that I was allergic to the soap. I changed it to Dove, and take shorter showers, keeping soap to crotch contact to the minimum necessary. It may be a rare situation but I thought I would share here in case someone else has the same issue.

200 Dolbert February 5, 2014 at 10:44 am

Despite the silly name, I can enthusiastically recommend Fresh Balls. Also, it might seem expensive, but a very small amount applied the night before will carry you through much of the next day. I’ve been using the same tube for months.

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post:

Site Meter