Comments on: Personal Responsibility 102: The Importance of Owning Up to Your Mistakes and How to Do It http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/19/how-to-own-up-to-mistakes/ Men's Interests and Lifestyle Fri, 24 May 2013 22:38:22 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 By: Skweekah http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/19/how-to-own-up-to-mistakes/comment-page-1/#comment-349469 Skweekah Mon, 18 Mar 2013 00:46:22 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=30468#comment-349469 Another great motivational. Im gonna print this one out, read it, re-read it, read it again, and then again.
Cheers for writing this.
Skweekah

]]> By: Jay http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/19/how-to-own-up-to-mistakes/comment-page-1/#comment-337662 Jay Sun, 03 Mar 2013 22:53:11 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=30468#comment-337662 Great article. And I gotta say, AofM is hands down my favorite site on the web. From the honest and well-researched articles to the honest and well-thought out comments…thank you guys for making this site so meaningful.

]]> By: Don't worry about it. http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/19/how-to-own-up-to-mistakes/comment-page-1/#comment-336706 Don't worry about it. Sat, 02 Mar 2013 22:18:18 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=30468#comment-336706 Like Matt, I too as a young child was told I was really smart, and really talented all the time by my teachers, parents, and friends. I figured I must be since everyone keeps saying that. It made high school a struggle for me. I got way too upset when I didn’t know something or couldn’t figure it out on my own. I felt stupid and pressured to get everything right. I had to really humble myself and admit, I need help sometimes, I don’t know all the answers, but no one knows everything. Also I see what ARP is talking about too. Lots of parents blame everyone and everything except themselves when their child has a problem.

]]> By: ARP http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/19/how-to-own-up-to-mistakes/comment-page-1/#comment-334254 ARP Mon, 25 Feb 2013 19:58:11 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=30468#comment-334254 What do you think is the causes of the increasing narcissism? It seems as if parents are projecting their own inability to admit their mistakes (i.e. they weren’t a perfect parent) when it comes to raising their kids. Therefore, they’ll complain about a teaching giving bad grade, rather than talking to the child, say their child has a learning disability, autism, etc.when they may not in order to “externalize” the issue (i.e. it’s not my fault, my child has X disease, the teacher is bad, etc.). But kids see this behavior by their parents, and hear about how smart they are despite some objective measures that say they are not, When they grow up, they are unable to accept their own mistakes.

]]> By: KierO http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/19/how-to-own-up-to-mistakes/comment-page-1/#comment-334175 KierO Mon, 25 Feb 2013 17:01:22 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=30468#comment-334175 There is no one in the world that can get my back up more than my mother.

If she phones me with a problem (which she often does) but happens to be in a bad mood, then I am almost always gonna be in a bad mood very soon.

The other day, I asked her to describe the problem to me in more detail. She got annoyed with me an hung up. Then I realised something…It was the way I was speaking to her. My wife has pulled me up for talking to her in the same way.

I was being patronising. I don’t do it with the people I work with, even if they are being vague. So I phone her back and fessed up, and apologised. Instantly she was calmer and apologised for hanging up on me.

Normal circumstances means we wouldn’t have spoken to each other for the next few days.

I’m glad that I was able to see what I had done and take responsibility for it.

]]> By: Shristi http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/19/how-to-own-up-to-mistakes/comment-page-1/#comment-333586 Shristi Sun, 24 Feb 2013 07:45:05 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=30468#comment-333586 Hi Brett,

My mother, who has struggled in life, and my religious friends both believe that decisions in their lives ultimately reflect decisions by God/luck. I feel they do this for solace. I also think that when a person chooses to let go of control of so many aspects of their lives, they are less stressed. It seems psychologically beneficial.

There is a quote that goes, “Some times we must simply let go because it’s heavy.”

These people would look to the external world as their locus of control yet many of these people feel more bliss and happiness, in my opinion. What’s your thoughts on religious ideologies that promote less control and dependence on God?

]]> By: Brett McKay http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/19/how-to-own-up-to-mistakes/comment-page-1/#comment-332371 Brett McKay Thu, 21 Feb 2013 22:16:41 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=30468#comment-332371 @Andrew-
It is long been thought that a hallmark of true leadership is taking responsibility for everyone under your charge. That’s your stewardship, and even if you didn’t directly participation in a failure, you’re responsible for it as the leader. If the soldiers didn’t have enough discipline, then maybe their commanders didn’t instill it enough, and that reflects poorly on who the general chose as commanders. If players perform poorly, then the coach did not prepare or motivate them well enough. If they didn’t try, then he didn’t instill a culture where such shirking was unacceptable.

These days what you see a lot is that leaders are willing to take credit for the wins and rewards that those under them earned, but will not take responsibility for their failures. From corporations to the military, when wrongdoing is discovered, it’s the little guy, the grunt on the ground who gets blamed, while the higher ups get off scot free and say they didn’t know what the little guys in their charge were doing. Yet if the little guys had succeeded, they would have been happy to take the bonuses and promotions that came with that success. That’s not leadership.

]]> By: Andrew from Canada http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/19/how-to-own-up-to-mistakes/comment-page-1/#comment-332295 Andrew from Canada Thu, 21 Feb 2013 15:17:30 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=30468#comment-332295 Brett,
I’m all for taking responsibilty but I’m curious, should we be taking responsibilty for everything? In the Robert E. Lee example at the beginning of part one, he says he, “Asked more of my men than should have been asked of them.” But couldn’t the remaining solidiers from the Pickett Charge loss also say they were responsible because they couldn’t follow Lee’s orders? Who’s really at fault? It reminds me of sports when the coach gets sacked: Was it their fault for not motivating the team or was it the team’s fault for not performing?

]]> By: Bea http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/19/how-to-own-up-to-mistakes/comment-page-1/#comment-332159 Bea Wed, 20 Feb 2013 23:40:28 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=30468#comment-332159 The last part about students really resonated with me
What can I do if I’m only now noticing I’ve been struggling with my studies because I’ve been constantly told I’m so bright and special despite nearly no studying?
Please note I’m not trying to shift blame, I’m just asking what can I do to correct this after the damage has been done

]]> By: Matt http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/19/how-to-own-up-to-mistakes/comment-page-1/#comment-332155 Matt Wed, 20 Feb 2013 23:20:06 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=30468#comment-332155 Great article as always McKays.

You actually have great timing with these two for me, as I just watched “Good Will Hunting” yesterday, and just about everything you cover here relates to the struggles Will goes through. I found it interesting to read up on this stuff so quickly after seeing it in action.

More importantly, I can see myself in several of the potholes self-justification causes, and am glad for the advice on how to face my flaws and overcome them.

Thanks!

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