Comments on: 14 Red Flags to Look Out for in a Relationship

By: Dino

Dino — Sat, 08 Jun 2013 19:50:35 +0000

In my opinion, nobody is perfect. Ill bet my life that every single women possesses at least a little of at least one of these red flags. Same applies for men too. If it is not on here, then there are other so-called “red flags”. It’s just a matter of how much or how long you can tolerate it. Another thing to add as well, I consider myself a perfectionist and I admit that can be a personality flaw so any one that thinks you can find a girl / guy without any flaws is delusional. Now don’t get me wrong, this list is a good list and I wouldn’t want to be with someone that has two of these (I’ll let one pass!), but in general, unless you can find your exact opposite sexed clone, you are going to have to compromise and give and take in any relationship. Feeling has to be mutual, remember that!

By: Seth

Seth — Fri, 31 May 2013 19:23:01 +0000

It’s unfortunate to read all the comments about domestic violence and spousal abuse that seem to be out there but it’s A LOT more common than it seems. Violence by women against men is rarely discussed and rarely reported. According to the Domestic Violence Resource Center, 1 in 6 men have been or are being abused and only 1 in 10 abused men ever report it to anyone. If any of you guys who need help read this, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233. You also find support groups: Safe4all.org and BatteredMen.com. If you need help, please get it now. That’s the responsible thing to do.

By: Chaos

Chaos — Thu, 30 May 2013 18:11:33 +0000

It’s very sad and ironic how as human beings designed with 2 sexes can’t tolerate each other in this day and age due to societies’ short comings. One individual’s experience is completely augmented by the political, social interpersonal and environmental factors that inevitably influence us every day at the subconscious level. Everyone was born with a “clean slate” during birth, yet down the road have completely warped relationship experiences due to social structures of greed, power, hate, and pride…what on earth happened to fostering the honorable and goodness in mankind when we’re born? Yet we as individuals are constantly programmed at birth in order to be easily manipulated and controlled down the road, what a “brave new world” we live in…

By: Craig

Craig — Tue, 28 May 2013 04:03:50 +0000

^Tino 204^

That’s really terrible man. My parents didn’t have this bad of a relationship but there were clearly problems and manipulation happening. I am fortunate that I saw them get separated when each kid finally graduated high school (I am the youngest). Both of my parents are better people, both of them are happier, and I’m a better person because I got a chance to see the functional and dysfunctional things about both of my parents when they got into relationships afterwards. If I didn’t get that chance I wouldn’t have nearly as clear of an idea of what I’m looking for in a partner.

Look at it this way. What is better in your mind; Staying together in a dysfunctional marriage and the children seeing the mistreatment of both of their parents OR getting a divorce and your children having an opportunity to see at least one functional relationship?

By: Drood

Drood — Sun, 26 May 2013 23:59:27 +0000

Hmmm…let’s see…4, 5, 7, 9, 10, and 14. Why couldn’t I have read this 20 years ago?

By: Sam

Sam — Sat, 25 May 2013 15:57:44 +0000

i was in a relationship with my
partner for 2 years the red flag was
always up but i was blinded by love i used to come home from work
tired sit down and catch up with the telly
she was very violent at every chance she
had she started arguing over little things
and she hit me a lot am talking slapping
punching kicking her family was very violent but i thought she was not like them but she was worse one time i had a coffee
mug smashed on my head all sorts..!!
funny thing is she left me after 2 years
of our relationship..!! and told her family
i was the violent one and i hit her just to cover up her story and i was too ashamed to admit to anybody not even
my close friends that she hit me a lot..!!

i was blinded by love after all her violent
behaviour when she left she still messaged me being all sweet n nice saying am sorry for the break up and i
fell for it so many times but she never changed once we got back together
she started where she left off..!!

now i have changed my number and slowly am trying to move forward with my life but i still have feelings for her
which i hope will die out in time..!!
thank you for reading i had to let it out..!!

By: wiser and happier

wiser and happier — Thu, 23 May 2013 19:56:31 +0000

Wow, I could have used this advice really well when I entered my first serious relationship. It’s been over for a few years now and I’ve been in a very different, committed, happy relationship for the past couple years, but there are still things that I kick myself for about my ex.
I wish I had had these spelled out to me then – I would have gotten out of that relationship a lot sooner and dodged a bullet! She treated waitstaff terribly! She was often rude or cold at best – I always try to be grateful and polite, so I’d be saying, “Thank you,” while she gave them the icy eyeball.
I admit to having making mistakes in the relationship, but she was the sort to put the blame anywhere but on herself, even though some fault lay with her too. And she had SUCH princess attitude – totally unwilling to compromise. At the end of the day, we did have core value differences, but she never wanted to admit to them… she’d say she wanted the same things as me and then act like she didn’t – which was true.
I think if I had known these “things to watch out for” sooner I might have had a lot more fun and a lot more friends in my first couple years at college.

By: kee kee

kee kee — Wed, 22 May 2013 06:07:42 +0000

Re: Tino
First off, imy heart goes out to u cause no-one deserves to be treated the way your wife treats u & the kids… 9 times outta 10, w/ u being so miserable, trust that ur kids are too! I think u shud go behind the wife’s back & go talk w/ a counselor,lawyer & also child services seeking advise on taking custody of ur kids…file for divorce once u get that going. Depending on how u feel thekids will react & their ages, maybe talk to them & ask how they’d feel to live w/ u & also divorcing their mom. I think u shud start keeping journal dates & times of anything that u feel is wrong for court when it comes. I wish u the best, hope this mite help. If u stay n it I’m afraid once kids r older it mite back fire & they resent u for not getting them out! This will show them u r willing to do whatever & fight 4 them! Gud luck & may god bless ur household…also PRAY about it :-)

By: tino

tino — Sun, 19 May 2013 05:32:05 +0000

I’ve been in a co dependent relationship for 20 yrs. I just want out. There’s so much things wrong with it I dont know where to begin. I also have 8 children to this woman. It’s because of them why I still stay with her. My heart is broken every other day because of the bad behaviour she displays as a so called caring mother. Swearing at the children and calling them and me f……. idiots… is ruining our family. She has got me on DV notice yet she instigates/provokes me till I cant stand it no more and retaliate, and yes I do regret hitting her the times I have. She has also hit me on a number of occasions. I live in fear of losing my kids which is why I’m still in the relationship. I’m also a lonely person who never ventures outside the family unit so physical intimacy with her is very powerful she often uses to her advantage. I feel so weak not being able to stand on my own 2 feet and walk away. I love my children with all my heart and I’m a practical man so I not only tell them I love them. I show them. Whether its taking them on outings in the weekends or attending their performances at school I try my very best to accomodate their needs.My forgiveness with regards to the other half of my childrens life has fast depleted from existence and I’m now looking in other fields for greener pastures. I’m too scared to tell her how I really feel. I love my kids too much to see them suffer, but not to do anything is just as worse. I’m so frustrated I cant think clearly at times and end up crying spontaneously during the day. Can someone help me?

By: Sergio

Sergio — Fri, 17 May 2013 00:47:03 +0000

I think maybe another red flag, is that She wants to hang out & party with her friends very often. I’m laid back, so in a past relationship this didn’t bother me. I would want to go out, usually spontaneously or only planned a few days before, but she’d already have plans with her friends many times. No biggie, until it turned out she was cheating on me. Only caught her kissing one other dude, but I’m pretty sure she may have been getting around lol.