I worry too much before i start to talk to people. I worry too much about what to say and afraid that i will mess up, but again, that is mostly when i’m interested in getting to know a nice lady. For example a young lady working at the snackbar here. She’s very friendly and down to earth and i’m really really liking her. I’d love to have a great conversation with her while i’m awaiting my order. I’ve tried, but i just simply have no idea what’s a great conversation starter. Some of my friends, man i just envy how easily they can spark up a conversation and keep it going. I was thinking of simple things like ‘it sure was some nice weather outside today’ but i find that a bit corny.

I am glad about one thing though, instead of simply ordering food and waiing for it, i made a small change to that today. I went there and gave her a compliment about the nice meal she had made me like two weeks ago and she even remembered that. She also asked me what kind of dessert i wanted with my meal but i told her i never get to eat the dessert, so she can have it, i said..my gift to you. Of course this could have been a conversation opener but she didn’t say very much about it and neither did i. It definitely gave me a good feeling briefly…cause i am pretty sure she has apreciated that compliment, but if i really want to get a conversation going with her, also in the hopes of getting to know her a little better…i sure need to do something.

The thing is, it really depends on the situation and location that could make small talk so much easier. I mean out in the park with nice weather it’s easy to start talking about the weather and going from there. Talking about that with a nice lady working at the snackbar….nah!

Any advice for this? What could be some good things to talk about in this situation?

“I’m going to get another gin and tonic, would you like anything?”
“Have you had one of those crab puffs yet? I think I need to give them a try. Would you like one?”
“Oh, there’s the host. I haven’t said hello to him yet. We should go say hi.”

Very few people will ask you to bring something back to them because they won’t want to sit there alone waiting for you to return — if they want another drink or snack, they will instead accompany you. Once you’ve relocated, it’s easy to engage new people in conversation, either together or individually. But if the person also wants to end your conversation, they can say no thank you, and they’re free to wander off to talk to someone else. If they DO take you up on a drink offer and just sit there, find someone to bring back with you to refresh the conversation.

If I’ve just bumped into someone on the street or in a store and the chit-chat is winding down, I say, “Well, I don’t want to keep you. Are you going to the game-watch at John’s next weekend? Great, I’ll see you then!” Basically, give them a gracious out, but then make it clear that you’re not trying to get away from them.