Comments on: Heading Out on Your Own — Day 8: Living With Roommates

By: KT

KT — Sat, 12 Jan 2013 03:12:15 +0000

I really like this i think it will help me, and my future roommates! :)
I like the “Donuts” rule ! ahah

By: Tyler G.

Tyler G. — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 21:36:02 +0000

I’m lucky to have my own dorm room, although rooms here are arranged in a suite style, with 2 rooms and a sliding door between them. You can talk to your roommate as much or as little as you want, but noise issues can sometimes come up, especially if they have a significant other over and they start getting intimate. To that end, our hall has declared what we call “the donuts rule:” if you hear someone else having sex, you can yell “donuts,” and the offenders are obligated to buy you donuts. This makes things a little more fair; they get sex, you get free donuts.

By: Saurabh Mandar

Saurabh Mandar — Sun, 25 Nov 2012 06:13:31 +0000

I have always had this problem, be it with my housemates or friends that I often hang out with.

Couldnt find a good solution so decided to build something on my own with a few friends – BillPin (www.billpin.com).

Its a very simple application to manage finances between friends/housemates and we have an iPhone app to go with the webapp. We will also be launching an android app this december. Hope you like it and do feel free to write to us with feedback!

By: RM

RM — Tue, 21 Aug 2012 05:45:56 +0000

Here’s my question for you guys: I’m 47 years old and my roommate is 46. I’ve known him for quite a number of years through church and we decided to get an apartment together 5 years ago. I’ll cut to the chase: there have been a number of things I’ve had to remind him of since we moved in (re. keeping the kitchen clean; dropping/spilling things on the floor; etc.) and he’s improved on most things with the exception of this last issue: hygiene. I’m talking about smelling like a dirty diaper hygiene. Since it’s an embarrassing subject, I mentioned it to him in a roundabout way so he understood what I was saying, but here we are again…and baby’s diaper needs changing again. I’M NOT THE ONE TO DO IT EITHER. I feel like a 46 year old grown man should know when he needs to take a shower/bath and I shouldn’t have to tell him. Next conversation we have, I’m not going to sugarcoat it; I’m going to have to be blunt, but do so in a respectful way. What are your thoughts on this?

By: Daniel

Daniel — Sun, 19 Aug 2012 08:10:37 +0000

First of all, great post!! I’m entering into my 3rd year of college and have experienced nearly all the issues that you have addressed here, and I gotta say, you really hit the nail on the head!

One thing I would definitely add is to not become/let your roommate become dependent on you for basic needs. Last semester I moved into an apartment with some guys from my dorm, one of which was one of my good friends. The only problem was, this guy didn’t have a car!!! We didn’t think that this would be a major issue because, my other two roommates and myself all had vehicles… WE WERE WRONG!

It got to the point that my roommate believed that it was our responsibility to get his lazy @ss to school multiple times a day, and caused a great deal of tension in our place. By the end of the semester we were all went our separate ways, and our friendship was lost. Please learn from my mistakes!!!

By: Steve

Steve — Fri, 17 Aug 2012 13:13:34 +0000

I’m not sure if this works elsewhere, but when I’ve previously rented a shared house in London, a lot of landlords have been happy for someone to move out, provided they find someone to replace them first. Clearly, you should check this with the lettings agent/landlord, and I am sure that your co-tenants would appreciate vetting the potential new roommate, but it has got me out of an uncomfortable situation before now.

By: Ryan

Ryan — Tue, 14 Aug 2012 03:50:09 +0000

Facebook group is very helpful too. Add everyone to it to easily disseminate information on rent, upcoming plans, “Can somebody get take the trash out, I wont be home”, etc…

By: Ahmad Halis

Ahmad Halis — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 07:42:19 +0000

Brett & Kate, awesome timing with this!

I am moving out soon. It will be my first time living away from home, and with other people I don’t know. I have been sweating about all the possible drama that can happen, but all this advice is perfect in trying to avoid it and make the best of the situation.

Thank you!

By: Peter

Peter — Sun, 12 Aug 2012 15:03:47 +0000

I have lived with roommates for over 8 years now both in University and in shared accomodation.

I currently share a house with 2 girls and the dyamic is great.The key is following, as you say, the golden rule of mutual respect with a healthy dose of tolerance.

However, I was once in a nightmare situation. I shared with 3 peopleI knew, 2 guys and a girl. One of the guys was the long term boyfriend of the girl. However, they eventually grew apart and the girl went running to the other guy. There were often violent arguments every night and a horrible cordon sanitaire between everyone. Being the one stuck in the middle I was often approached to try and sort out arguments and just act as someone who would listen to them all bitch about each other. It was not a time I will ever yearn for.

However, the experiences I have had have been positive. As the article suggests, sharing accomodation is not only good for saving money. It will help you develop tolerance, assertiveness and how to develop trust with people. It will also broaden your social and cultural horizons.

@Roland – I didn’t meet my new roomates until my first day at University. Everyone is in the same boat so there is a very understaning atmosphere during those few days. Offer them something to break the ice such as a drink and just get to know them, you will be fine.

By: Roland

Roland — Sun, 12 Aug 2012 02:35:09 +0000

I’ll he heading to college soon and I’ve tried to get in touch with my roommate but have had no sucess. Any advice on what to do if the first time we meet and talk is on move-in day?