Comments on: Want to Feel Like a Man? Then Act Like One

By: Toby Barnett

Toby Barnett — Mon, 13 May 2013 21:03:25 +0000

As a man who turns 35 next month I can relate to the sentiment of not acting like a man till feeling like one. Throughout my twenties it was a continuously haunting thought - I'm just kid, I'm just a kid. Well my actions portrayed that thought. I'm not sure where it happened, sometime in the last year of college, but something clicked. I felt as if I needed to act like a man and then life started to change. I appreciate the TR reference and how he wanted to be a courageous man and did so by acting courageously. It makes perfect sense.

By: Ben

Ben — Mon, 13 May 2013 20:34:18 +0000

As Hemingway once to say, ” Go to war!” Learn to box or even simple things like learning to hunting or woodworking skills have all seemed to help. Fishing is one American past time where a guy can relax away the day and still say he caught his own meal. Men need to motivated to WANT to learn new things and not be scared of what we look like or how we do it.

By: Jeremy

Jeremy — Mon, 13 May 2013 20:01:27 +0000

Jrobertlysaght,

Your comment moved me. I understand what you are saying. You are a hard worker and yes the business culture today abuses their low level laborers. No, you do not need a college degree to make a decent living. However, you DO NEED skills. A skill of some kind. Something that sets you apart. You can spend your time debating the right or wrong of this necessity or you can except it as a reality and figure out “What has your life equipped you to do well?” Then you go out and get what you are worth. You do that by providing value. Look for ways to improve your bosses business save them money and make them more. Make yourself an asset. Just showing up to work every day doesn’t make you an asset any 18 year old without skills can do that. If you can’t identify a skill set (I’m sure you have them find some one you know to help you). Then you must identify the skills you want to have THEN GO GET THEM! You can learn on the job. Also, you can feel like a man in you Carola and studio apt as long as you are GOING AFTER SOMETHING you are passionate about. With you 300,000 mile carola and your studio apt. You have it better than 90% of humanity does right now and live like a king compared to our ancestors. Got get it man chase a passion down and make it yours. Then you will feel like a man.

By: distributistdad

distributistdad — Mon, 13 May 2013 18:12:46 +0000

This essay properly identifies an issue in society and it’s clear enough for just about anyone to grasp and see.

Perhaps the truth is a little more difficult to swallow that many would be willing to admit. The root cause of this lack of manliness is a lack of true fathers. I would like to offer that it is of course true that in bygone days this issue was nonexistent. Why? Because the vast majority of boys had fathers. Their fathers were men, and boys wanted to emulate them. There is too a parallel that corresponds with the direction family life in general has strayed from what it had been for many centuries before, but alas the comment box of a blog isn’t the best place to discuss this.

I’d suggest a book — it’s one of the best I’ve ever read. I’d suggest it to anyone, but particularly to men who either find themselves identifying with the subject of this article or men who have sons:

http://www.amazon.com/Successful-Fathers-Powerful-Childrens-Characters/dp/1889334375/?tag=audiosancto-20

By: Chris Fowler

Chris Fowler — Mon, 13 May 2013 18:11:17 +0000

I read some quote “When in doubt, get really, really strong.” That has been my moto for the last year. I think part of being a man is being strong. Taking care of your body. For me it is not about luring the opposite sex or being vane. It is about being able to move heavy stuff, do yardwork, etc without littl risk ov injury due to a weak back. At 38 I’m in better shape than I was at 18.

By: Gary

Gary — Mon, 13 May 2013 18:10:10 +0000

There are some good opportunities out there for training or providing a rite of passage. It’s easy to discount these as “chanting in the woods” but unless you’ve experienced something you aren’t in a position to make a value judgement. That said, any workshop will likely fade to memory unless there is a regular opportunity to practice what was learned.

There are many mens groups around where men get together and model mature masculinity for each other. Open discussions about being a man need to happen regularly and men need to be challenged when they appear to be hiding behind BS.

Mens groups provide the forum for men to behave like mature men, get honest feedback, get challenged, and find mentors.

By: Vanessa

Vanessa — Mon, 13 May 2013 18:09:27 +0000

Although his site is not intended for the likes of me, I have been creeping around here lately and I’m so pleased to see so many men take the time to reflect on so many important issues. It really does seem that real men are hard to come by these days. And by real men I mean the type to do what needs to be done without GAF about what anyone thinks. I was raised by a real man- the kind who did any kind of physical labor necessary to support his family, the type who within 2 weeks decided that we would travel to America for better opportunities, a man of few words and big actions. Never asked for permission. We need more men like that. This website is great and you guys are freaking awesome.

By: Noah Revoy

Noah Revoy — Mon, 13 May 2013 18:08:40 +0000

Jrobertlysaght: “So, when exactly do I start feeling like a grown man?”
Answer: When you fully reject the victim mentality, take full and personal responsibility for your all choices and your current situation. Once you do that, you will be free to create the life you want.
I wish you success!

By: rico567

rico567 — Sun, 23 Dec 2012 17:52:58 +0000

Another excellent essay. I had to move into manhood by sheer emulation of adults and just allowing Providence to take care of the rest. And maybe a small minority of twisted souls who never find the path decide, in the end, that the only way to feel like a man is to commit some spontaneous and horrid act of violence. I believe it was Evelyn Waugh who said (speaking specifically of the U.S.) “It begins with bad manners and ends with random shootings in the streets.” Looks like we’re there.

By: Rob

Rob — Wed, 24 Oct 2012 22:08:22 +0000

Wow…I’m 40 years old and I don’t feel like a man. I’m glad I read this and stumbled on this website. Never been through a rite of passage, never played sports or even follow them. Never even really been hunting/fishing. No wonder my mental image of manliness is so out of wack. But I think He’s trying to tell me something because I had never heard act until you become until this week, and now I’ve heard it twice. Went on TED.com for the first time and listened to Amy Cuddy’s presenation….said the exact same thing as what has been presented here…but with more scientific backing. Again, great article.