Comments on: Listen Up! Part II: 15 Techniques to Improve Our Listening

By: Daniel

Daniel — Wed, 03 Oct 2012 18:54:18 +0000

Fantastic post! I really want to learn to listen and this has given me so much good information… I really can’t wait until tomorrow to read about asking a good question, as I too feel that a good question is sometimes more valuable than the answer.

By: Ara Bedrossian

Ara Bedrossian — Fri, 01 Jun 2012 12:57:14 +0000

My saying is: “Stare and Share. Connect, don’t convince.”
A lost art, I’m glad you addressed this. Cheers.

By: Don

Don — Fri, 18 May 2012 23:17:59 +0000

There are some aspects of listening that vary from culture to culture. I am married to a wonderful Hispanic woman. I have found that, in the Hispanic culture I have been exposed to, jumping in to a conversation before the speaker has finished is a sure sign that the listener is engaged. In fact, waiting for the speaker to finish can be interpreted as disengagement or boredom. This is completely contrary to my upbringing where you let someone finish before you spoke. Keeping this in mind can help you hone your techniques if you are communicating with someone with a different cultural background.

By: Greenham

Greenham — Wed, 16 May 2012 14:11:14 +0000

Fantastic Post, I have always had trouble with point nine; Its deceptively easy to give a speaker the impression you aren’t paying attention. I also second Lindsay’s point, some people don’t seem to leave any natural breaks in their conversation for anyone to respond.

By: Jason

Jason — Tue, 15 May 2012 07:55:40 +0000

I have found sometimes that I dismiss what a person has to say because I have some preconceived notions about them. When a person does not “appear” intelligent, or speak in a way that demonstrates a high level of education don’t be deceived, that doesn’t mean that they are not knowledgable or wise. This really hurts listening in a cross-cultural context because the speaker may have a limited knowledge of English but be a rocket scientist in their own language. What I am trying to say is don’t miss the wisdom in the book because of the quality or condition of the cover. Some of the wisest people I have ever met dressed in laborers clothes, and don’t be deceived some of them just did it to shock or gain the upper hand. Listen like every person has something to say that you might benefit from, and you will.

By: Lindsay

Lindsay — Mon, 14 May 2012 21:16:45 +0000

What about people who don’t let you get a word in edgewise? Listening to them is no problem, but some people don’t give you a chance to make any response, and you almost have to interrupt them if you want to contribute anything to the conversation. This can be really bad in meetings, when someone may take over the conversation, and I’ve heard it get ugly with someone talking louder to be heard over someone else!

By: Odak

Odak — Sat, 12 May 2012 01:57:25 +0000

I always appreciate the image of the silent chief. The kind of stern, stoic man who waits and lets everyone give their piece before making the final decision. That’s the classic masculine style.

Read somewhere that women need 1000 words to say how their day went, whereas a man only needs 100.

By: Frans

Frans — Fri, 11 May 2012 21:02:36 +0000

Thank you for a great Part 1 and 2 on listening skills!
I’m from a very international background; my father being Swedish, and my mother Finnish. Also, I grew up in Spain and Germany.
Hence, listening skills, and the development of those, have always interested me. It can be a source of much unnecessary conflict.
I think all the points raised in the article are important for everyone (both men and women) to take the time to internalize.
Personally I feel that ‘Semantic distractions’ can often times be the most relevant, as discussions (or arguments) can break down when both people/parties assume the other understands the ideas discussed in the same way they themselves understand it.
Other than that, I believe the development of (or perhaps awareness of) etiquette in regards to ‘Technologic distractions’ needs to be stressed more. Both at home, in the work place, and in other personal relationships.
Thanks again for a great article. I’ve enjoyed AoM articles for quite a few years now, and log in every week to read some more. Keep up the great work!

By: Ronald Gerard

Ronald Gerard — Fri, 11 May 2012 19:03:25 +0000

I appreciate being reminded by Daryl J. Yearwood, above, that listening is basic to civil discourse. I have worked with men for many years, and the flip-side to being attentive to whomever is speaking is to be able to speak. I find that many men do not have an easy time of this, especially when speaking of themselves, what they want, believe, hope for, fear.
Thank you for the post.
RG

By: Sudo koo

Sudo koo — Thu, 10 May 2012 23:39:07 +0000

James, at least the always cutting in person is listening somewhat. They have to in order to “top” whatever you say. Even worse are the people that completely ignore your words, don’t acknowledge anything you say and just ramble on with their own self-absorption. My wife has a friend who does this, and after dealing with her doing this repeatedly, I just completely avoid the b**ch!