Comments on: The Importance of Roughhousing With Your Kids

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Sun, 19 May 2013 20:45:59 +0000

I agree that roughhousing to some degree is good… I think one thing more to keep in mind is the temperament of the child. I read a quote one time about how to handle teasing in a family, and I think it applies here: “If it isn’t fun for everyone, it isn’t fun.”

What I mean is some kids have sensory issues that make the SEEK that kind of physical stimulation, where other kids have sensory issues that cause them to AVOID. The one who can’t handle too much stimulation shouldn’t be made fun of or taunted for not being able to handle it. I think roughhousing is still good for this child, but the parent needs to realize that they have to build the child up with very minimal roughhousing until they can handle more and more….

Also, when parents tease to the point of tears or do something that purposely brings tears, they need to realize that they are also setting up a stumbling block in their relationship with that child, making it hard to trust them.

And, parents who roughhouse more seriously really need to talk to their kids about not tackling other people’s kids, as I have seen some bad situations come from kids who did not seem to understand that it was meant to be something between them and their dad.

By: RFB

RFB — Fri, 17 May 2013 20:48:15 +0000

Good article with well expressed ideas. We roughhouse with our 2 girls and it is some of our favorite time together. There are also some daughter specific benefits beyond those listed. As part of our rules, if one of the girls says, “Stop,” we stop. I want them to know they have a right to insist on a halt any unwanted touching. In other readings on raising daughters, the research shows that girls who engage in horseplay with their fathers are less likely to be victims of sexual violence later.

By: tim_lebsack

tim_lebsack — Tue, 07 May 2013 15:07:21 +0000

Very good article and video. As the child grows, roughhousing should develop or come to include other activities such as camping, fishing, sports participation, study, vocational guidance etc.

By: Jacob

Jacob — Sun, 05 May 2013 17:52:03 +0000

Unfortunately…..my 3 year old Son can already take me! I gotta start working out.

By: Bruce Egert

Bruce Egert — Sat, 04 May 2013 12:39:44 +0000

I used to rough-up my two sons all the time when they were pre-K and beyond. Jumping, throwing, twisting, turning–you name it, I did it. Today both of them are practicing lawyers in NYC who go into courtrooms and conference rooms, never afraid to speak their mind or take on a challenge. Was I intuitively correct? I don’t know, but it sure sounds like I was !!

By: BearClawz

BearClawz — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 15:26:12 +0000

It’s not a father’s role exclusively. My wife and I tussle with our kids.
Also, at a certain age, and our wife can tell us, that you need to be careful how we tickle and touch our developing daughters.
The girls will be uncomfortable and too scared to tell dad that he touched her chest.

By: Lonamis Group

Lonamis Group — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 19:33:39 +0000

Loved this article!… One thing I noticed that was highlighted by Bill in his comment, is the benefits of rough housing for the parents, which was touched on but not emphasised in the article.

My dad rough housed a lot with me when I was a kid and he is in his 60′s and still looks like he’s in his 40′s…. same goes for my wifes father, she loved wrestling with her dad, and they are both still enjoying the benefits of that time to this day.

By: Toni

Toni — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 20:19:02 +0000

I agree that roughhousing is beneficial to both son and father, but at what age does can a boy understand that it’s not appropriate to roughhouse with other kids, particularly at school?

By: Keri

Keri — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 15:35:15 +0000

When I was little, I roughhoused with my uncle (appropriately nicknamed “Bubba”) and my Dad. I can remember my Dad tossing me up in the air and catching me and putting me on his shoulders and riding me around. And my older step-brother and I constantly wrassled and smacked each other around; we stayed bruised and scraped up.

Despite commenter Lisa’s fear that such violence will lead to adults who want to hit or accept being hit, neither my stepbrother or I grew up to be violent people. Neither of us has ever seen the back of the police car–for any reason. In fact, my stepbrother got his Master’s degree and became a Methodist minister and I went to private school and was the first person on my side of the family to get a 4-year degree.

The fact that I know how to fight with someone larger and stronger than me, I think, keeps me from having a victim mentality. If I was ever attacked by a man, by God, I’d make him hurt. He’d certainly rethink his career as a rapist–probably because he wouldn’t come out of the fight with his tackle still attached.

Just as the article says, I know quite well the difference between playing and true aggression. And because I’ve played (aka practice), I can respond seriously if I need to. So, Daddies, wrassle with your little girls; it may be the best thing you ever do for them.

By: Ian

Ian — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 04:45:33 +0000

Great article. I am a father of four, 2 girls, twin boys. They have all enjoyed roughhousing and I swear my twin 2 year old boys seem to be pulling out some BJJ moves when they roughhouse play with each other.