Comments on: Being a Gentleman at the Office: The Dos and Don’ts of Business Etiquette

By: bobo

bobo — Wed, 15 May 2013 00:58:59 +0000

I’d like to add as a “Don’t”, don’t get into personal relationships with members of the opposite sex (or same if you’re not straight). Just don’t. You’ll mess things up in the long-run.

By: bobo

bobo — Wed, 15 May 2013 00:57:37 +0000

Ok, I’m guilty of coming back to an old office. I didn’t know that this could be so bad. No problem just ditching them at this stage.

I do have one question. What about meeting friends that still work at your old place outside of work? Like social functions (unrelated to the company) or personal get-togethers?

By: Paul R

Paul R — Sat, 04 May 2013 16:36:59 +0000

Great article. I would make one exception to the “don’t visit your old workplace rule”, however. In an office environment, that is perfectly acceptable and actually expected by most firms, typically because these places are not open to the public, and when you stop working there, you become a member of the “public”. The exception I speak of is for the retail worker. Most retail businesses with storefronts are open to the public, and you may want to shop in the business if it sells products you need/want to use (And I imagine it most likely does, as why would one work somewhere that has no products that interest them?) Visiting your old place of employment can never hurt in this instance, your old coworkers are usually pretty pleased to see you, your old boss will definitely appreciate your contribution to his profits, and shopping there may make your old employer more inclined to speak favorably of you when future potential employers call for a reference. I would just say do not make yourself a nuisance, and take care of your business in a timely manner that does not distract your former co-workers from their work. A little friendly association is ok, especially if you were “work-buddies” with any of the folks you worked with, but keep in mind the business needs of the company, and as always, be courteous and polite

By: David

David — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 16:37:18 +0000

You can win a girl in your office if you’ll just follow these styles, plus of course with a little self confidence.

By: Patrick

Patrick — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 19:52:20 +0000

I agree with Jennifer. Thisa article has some pretty dated advice. I stopped reading when it got to the part about when to rise when a woman enters the room in work vs. social settings. What’s the difference? I think another facet of our new information age is that such habits are dying out, and hopefully being replaced by more universal signs of respect. Showing respect for a man is the same as showing respect for a woman. End of discussion.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 00:47:13 +0000

In response to Harold. You’re right in that it would be rude to deny you the right to show common courtesy. However we’re not talking about courtesy here, but chivalry. The basic premise behind chivalry is that women need assistance in whatever they’re doing wherever they go. Chivalry and gallantry were born in a time when women were not considered autonomous, independent beings. You may think you’re being polite and respectful when you pull out her chair in the boadroom or stand up at the table during dinner but it implies that you are not equals. Furthermore, if she doesn’t want to be treated in that way then she is deemed ungrateful. This would be an issue of courtesy if women were permitted by society to pull chairs out for men or pay for the first date (or even ask for the first date). I know many men are aware of these points but I feel that this side of the debate is lost in this particular arena. I have respect for those who treat me with courtesy but allow me to reciprocate in the same manner.

“So for example, while in a social situation you would want to stand when a woman entered the room, at work you should rise from your desk when receiving visitors of either sex, and you shouldn’t stand up every time a female secretary or assistant walks in and out of your office.”
There is a lack of logic to this sentence. If you are to rise from your desk to any visitor regardless of sex then why wouldn’t you rise to your female or male secretary? I find the differentiation between the social sphere and the workplace to be puzzling. If both are based on systems of courtesy and respect then why does gender play a role in one of them? If being chivalrous is deemed inappropriate for the workplace then why is this logic not applied to the social sphere? It’s inappropriate for a reason and I think this needs to be applied to all settings of human interaction.

By: Barry

Barry — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 01:33:34 +0000

All excellent points. I have found that in a position of leadership, people will work for you because they have to. However, people will work with you because they want to. A line must be drawn between a supervisor and those one supervises. That line does not need to be carved with a dull blade into the soul of the employee. People are more productive than required when they respect their leader and not fearful of the leader. We have all worked in situations where the fear of mistakes actually produces more mistakes. How wonderful it is to have employees that work cheerfully because they are part of your team. But then again what do I know.

By: Mike

Mike — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 12:27:15 +0000

These are all pretty on point. George P.H. brings up an important point too, about getting too close to your co-workers. This becomes an issue every time someone gets promoted. Suddenly your friends are your subordinates and end up undermining your authority. I had to learn that lesson the hard way. After being promoted, I still tried to be friends with all of my subordinates and just ended up getting thrown under the bus constantly. Do yourself a favor and cut ties, making them understand that you are now their boss and not their friend.

By: Joe

Joe — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 03:15:42 +0000

Like I already posted above, this was an excellent article with alot of helpful hints for acting in a professional and dignified manner. But I didn’t want to see this article land in the AoM Trunk, before mentioning how pleasantly surprised I was by so many of the other posts regarding this article. In an age when the majority of people feel that good manners and being a gentleman are a thing of the past, never to return, and not a timely topic, really need to see this article and the posts that go along with it. The variety of scenarios and the interest of women in this topic were also an eyebrow raiser. Until now, I neither took notice nor paid attention to just how many truly good men that are out there working everyday, who DO give alot of thought and attention to acting with integrity day in and day out on the job. Until now, I never thought about just how hard of a task that really is!

By: Curtis

Curtis — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 18:38:17 +0000

I am a big fan of this article! Well written, and excellent to use for reference on office etiquette. I try to act as close to this outline as possible, however in my place of employment, it can be hard at times to say the least. My situation is unique, in that I work for my company’s corporate office but am stationed in a local terminal (freight industry). Since I am the only one from this department, no one at my location is over me or under me, which makes it easy to stay out of the gossip circle, and common complaints about certain supervisors or managers. It is frustrating however, as I see so much that needs to change, but don’t really have a place to say anything about it, since it doesn’t directly effect me or my job. I guess the bottom line is, as long as I am acting with integrity, it doesn’t matter how my co-workers act, even when the majority of them have no professionalism, respect, or understanding of even what I am doing there in the first place!! The joys of working on a freight dock!!