Comments on: A Gentleman Never Arrives Empty-Handed

By: Ben

Ben — Fri, 31 May 2013 18:42:20 +0000

Excellent article, thank you very much for posting this. It has challenged me to be a better guest and friend.

By: Isaac

Isaac — Thu, 09 May 2013 11:39:45 +0000

I know I’m jumping on this one a little late, but there’s one point I disagree with in your article. There is generally some expectation that if you bring food gifts they will be shared if appropriate. If I bring a nice bottle of wine to dinner I don’t necessarily expect my hosts to open it there but if it were a fruit platter I’d be surprised not to see it at dessert.

By: John

John — Sun, 14 Apr 2013 20:21:21 +0000

I’m glad to see this conversation continuing. Last night I had supper at the home of an accomplished writer, her husband and three other friends of theirs. Although my writer friend and I for years have thought fondly of each other, this was my first invitation into their personal sphere. And after thinking about what I am going to wear, yes, my next thought was what I will bring as a hostess gift.

Saturday night supper: casual. That’s easy. Wine is out even if she and Joe were to enjoy it later because Mary knows that I can’t drink alcohol, and I don’t want my gift to put the focus on me. Fortunately, I remembered I can bake amazingly delicious chocolate chip cookies, and they will match the informal tone of the evening. After I tie a bow on the Ziploc container, I’m set. “This is for you and Joe,” implying this is for later.

By the way, I had a wonderful evening — making new friends, lively conversation, and savoring a marvelous dinner that Mary and Joe prepared together.

By: Xenos

Xenos — Wed, 10 Apr 2013 18:17:09 +0000

I think the reason that Jägermeister and other Liqueurs are a somewhat unacceptable gift lies less in the cost/quality of the hooch, and more in the reputation those drinks have in certain circles.

Jägermeister, for instance, is known as a massive “Party Favorite,” because when mixed with certain energy drinks, it becomes quite intoxicating, in addition to the fact the term “Jägerdrunk” refers SPECIFICALLY to the dramatic difference between being “Regular Drunk,” and drunk off of, as James Hetfield put it, “The Sweet Nectar of Life.”

Now, if you know for a fact your host is a fan of any of those Liqueurs, I personally would see nothing wrong with making a gift of a decent sized bottle.

Here’s a for-instance: My buddy is a major fan of Bärenjäger. I think it’s currently running $25 for a pint (don’t quote me-prices are in flux in my state all of the time because of the damn vice tax). I know that, or a quart of ol’ Granddad’s Finest’d set JUST RIGHT with him, regardless of the formality of the occasion.

My parents, on the other hand? They’re a dry house, but are quite fond of hot teas.

In fact, if the person drinks coffee, you should probably see how they feel about hot teas, and get some of those fancy loose-leaf teas that are out there. Killer gift, and fairly well unique.

Anyway, that was quite the bunny trail-Too Long, Didn’t Read? It’s the reputation of the drink, not the quality of it. Drinks that are considered a “Party Drink” would probably be fine for a pool party, but if it’s a formal dinner party… You may want to bring coffee/tea.

By: Noah

Noah — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 08:45:25 +0000

Is Goldschlager Private Stock acceptable? What about Ice 101 Black Label?

By: Rob

Rob — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 02:27:57 +0000

What’s all the hoo-ha about “Jagermeister, Goldschlager, and flavored schnapps” ? Doesn’t everyone know that those liquids are for sorority drunks and the booze-hungry sophomores trying to bed them? Seriously, even a pint of something higher end would almost certainly go over much better. Cuz even if your guests honestly love it, SOMEone will crack a Jeagerbomb joke at your expense.

By: Uncle Jefe

Uncle Jefe — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 17:39:55 +0000

While I appreciate you giving advice on gents bringing wine, and especially giving a shout-out to the Alexander Valley, I must protest the term ‘unusual’ in reference to one of the most respected (in terms of history and quality) California appellations.
Alexander Valley is home to Souverain, Jordan, Silver Oak, Simi, Clos du Bois, Sausal, Murphy Goode…and on and on.
It is also the place where hospitality (especially tours and tastings) in the wine industry was born.
The winery at Asti (the historic Italian Swiss Colony) was founded in 1881 (130 yrs ago this year) and put California winemaking on the map.
The original ‘Bottle Shock’ happened in 1911 (100 years ago this year) when the Golden State Champagne of Asti Winery beat the French at the Torino Wine Exposition (the largest and most prestigious in that era), winning the Grand Prix award for best wine of the entire show, and shocking the wine world and drawing attention to the quality and potential of California wine.
Awesome stuff.
Prior to the Exposition, the Petit Journal du Paris said that “up to this point, California has produced wines fit only for German troopers.” (This was during the run-up to WW1.) After the Grand Prix win by Asti, they published an amazing crow-eating article on the incredible Asti wines.
Those same vineyards (although now long-since replanted to other varieties) continue to produce wines that rival any on the globe.
Alexander Valley is not unusual; however, it is a bit of an “in the know” secret amongst wine folks, and is quietly seeing a resurgence of recognition and tourism, especially since Francis Ford Coppola has moved into Alexander Valley and opened up his winery, complete with pools, bars and restaurant, and movie memorabilia.

By: Jim Z

Jim Z — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 16:55:53 +0000

Please don’t bring me kitchen gadgets. It’s a constant battle to rid my kitchen of mono-tasking doodads.

A safe gift is a small container of homemade guacamole or hummus. They’re dead-easy to make, most people like it, does not have to be served at the function – but if it is it shouldn’t eclipse the host’s fare.

By: Monsar

Monsar — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 09:25:22 +0000

Great post. Where im from tradition and culture states the dame, never come emptyhanded, when visited. A little box of chocolate or coffee will do just fine. Its the thought that matters.

By: Darren

Darren — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 11:59:05 +0000

Interesting observation about foreign grad students…I have never invited a foreign family over without having them bring something, even a small little gift. Same with Hawaiians…it’s not about expecting anything as a host, it’s about a small thank you.

Right on, Therese. You know the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?

Beer Nuts are $3.95 a can.

Deer Nuts are under a buck.

:-)