Seriously, to bellyache about how fathers are cut out of the equation allegedly by the support single women get for raising families is pathetic narcissism. What’s better, that such families go poor and hungry so their forced to stay with abusive, distant, self-centered, or otherwise awful excuses for a father and human being?

I’ve just dutifully attended a Father’s Day gathering at my father-in-law’s house. This man has spent his life starting and falling out of families. He didn’t do so great of a job ‘providing cash from afar’ (as you lament). He didn’t bother for years to meet his daughter’s and my children.

And his complaints about society and fatherhood sound eerily like yours. You’re not a cynic, you’re a narcissist.

My father was 18 when I was born, my mother only 16. After she ran away when I was about six months old, leaving her mother and my dad to take care of me, I’m sure my dad faced a tough decision. He could have bolted. My grandmother gave him the chance, knowing he was young, had no money and would probably take off anyway. He stayed, living with his mother-in-law and attempting to raise his son. My mother’s older sister was sent in from out of state to help take care of me, and eventually, my father married her in an effort to solidify custody going forward (an interesting story on its own but I’ll spare the details). He toughed out that “arranged” marriage the best he could for twelve years.

I mention this because as much as I go out of my way to avoid my father at times, and as often as I think, “I can see I am like him in many ways, and I’m not always happy about it” I have to remind myself of the sacrifice he made. His failure in life was getting a girl pregnant as a teenager. His success in life was taking responsibility for it. Thanks Dad. I don’t have the courage to tell this to your face. Maybe someday I will.

I just celebrated my first Father’s Day as a new dad, as my wife and I have a seven month old son. Since I am well established and in my mid-thirties, I don’t face the same challenges my father did. Even so, I think about the challenges I will face in my relationship with my own son down the road. I hope my boy will someday appreciate my own sacrifices while forgiving my faults. Maybe he will have an easier time expressing his feelings about it to me as well.

Nothing lasts forever, especially good things. That’s why everyone should respect and love mom and dad, because one day you’re going to realize they’re not here anymore, and by then even if you DO want to thank them, it’s too late. They’re gone forever.

I don’t know if I would call you cynical so much as “calling it as you see it” kinda deal. I read your comment and understand what you’re saying.

Still a few good men out there.. Still a few good fathers out there.

I’d also like to say as far as this article goes… Its very sad situation. But to achieve greatness in life you have to sacrifice things. That’s the thing the boy chose to sacrifice. You have to be a man about the choices you make in life, even if they are painful.