white dress shirts are always opaque.

I believe you mean “are NOT always opaque” or perhaps “are always semi-transparent.” This, Steve, depends very much upon the quality of your white shirt, including the thickness of its fabric. A manly man knows he will receive the quality of goods in which he chooses to invest (a rule which takes in dictionary purchases as well).

The only purpose of tucking in a shirt is to prevent its visibility of you wear a jacket on top,

Incorrect. The original purpose of tucking in a shirt? The tail of a shirt served as a man’s underwear. Although this is, one hopes, no longer the case, there is still excellent reason for tucking: it creates a smoother line, controls unsightly flapping and quite frankly distinguishes the slob from the man who is man enough to dress well. Try managing your shirt tails by a) buying a slimmer cut and b) pulling out a slight amount of slack (flat on the front and back, gathers on the sides) when you first get dressed and c) wearing a belt. What you so inelegantly refer to as a “pear shape” should actually be a slight, consistent widening of the silhouette just above the waistline – which will also make your waist appear trimmer.

Long sleeve shirts always have big, thick puffy sleeves

No, they don’t. You’re either selecting poorly-designed merchandise or mistaking sport shirts for dress shirts.

As expensive as they are you’d think dress shirts would be designed so that their waist circumference is different from their chest diameter.

Good news: hundreds upon hundreds of styles of dress shirts are designed in precisely this way! If you are fortunate enough to have wider shoulders and a narrower waist, look for shirts marked “athletic cut.” If you are, perhaps, slightly exaggerating the breadth of your top half, look for “slim cut” or “European style.” Meanwhile, enjoy your triangle shape while you can, and understand that not every manly man shares your particular silhouette.

If your waist circumference is larger than your chest circumference then you will look like an unprofessional slob no matter what you wear.

Forgive my previous surprise at your lack of sartorial knowledge. I did not realize that your intelligence, empathy and penile measurements were in all probability so small. I sincerely hope this is due solely to lack of years and is not a permanent condition. Please accept my sincere wishes for an increase in experience, manliness and simple decency… with a corresponding decrease in your own rather obvious insecurities.

Ties died with the invention of the lightbulb and many have realized this. Collars need to be redesigned for modern styles.

Oh PeeWee. Bless your heart. No, they didn’t. Now go Google “collar styles” and be amazed.

Or simply continue to trumpet the camp shirt as the apotheosis of centuries of shirt design and development. When you figure out why that hastily-smothered laughter seems to be a constant presence in your life, you can apply all the money you’ve saved by purchasing inappropriate, poorly-fitting shirts to your therapy and wardrobe revamp.

Antonio: brilliant as always. Long live the manly, well-dressed man.

First off, white is the most popular color but white dress shirts are always opaque. This forces you to dress in a shirt that proudly displays whatever is underneath. If it’s skin then you see flesh-tone divided by the white two-ply boundaries of the clothing. If it’s an undershirt then you see an undershirt. And, yes, we do notice. I always feel bad for women who go around with their bras completely visible under their blouses.

Second: the shirts turn their hosts into a pear. Since we have this idea that formal shirts must be tucked in, and this idea that formal fabric much not stretch every man looks like a pear. When a man sits the shirt pulls out from under the belt since it cannot stretch and when they stand up they look like a pear. The only purpose of tucking in a shirt is to prevent its visibility of you wear a jacket on top, and most of the time you are not.

Third: Long sleeve shirts have no place in business attire unless the host is forced to wear a suit (another “EPIC FAIL” of clothing). Long sleeve shirts always have big, thick puffy sleeves that look more like the sleeves of a winter jacket or a poofy princess dress than as an appropriate article of indoor clothing. Cut the sleeves at the elbow and you eliminate those big, puffy billowing waves of fabric. A long sleeve shirt basically tells your coworkers that you are covering up forearm tattoos.

Forth: As expensive as they are you’d think dress shirts would be designed so that their waist circumference is different from their chest diameter. The waist needs to be tight while the chest (already larger than the waist) needs to be baggy. The differences in circumference of these two regions forces dress shirts to have ridiculous waves of fabric around the lower back and stomach of the host.

Forth Addendum: If your waist circumference is larger than your chest circumference then you will look like an unprofessional slob no matter what you wear. Forget the Big and Tall store and hit the gym.

Fifth: Most dress shirt collars are designed for a tie. Ties died with the invention of the lightbulb and many have realized this. Collars need to be redesigned for modern styles.

Sixth: Likewise it’s the 21st century and we no longer need to wear high maintenance fabrics. Anything that’s not wrinkle-free or says “dry clean only” should be returned to the rack or the 19th century (if possible).

Compare these to modern camp shirts. They aren’t tucked in so the fabric hangs clean and neat without the pear-effect or fabric billows. The collars are designed for a modern world without ties and look much better. The sleeves are short so I don’t have massive “Princess Dress” looking puffs on my arms. I’m even wearing one right now that’s not only machine washable and wrinkle-free, but made from modern moisture-wicking material too. This shirt looks far better than any traditional dress shirt I’ve ever seen.

Brett – Kudos on AoM, I’ve been reading it for a while (my husband showed a few articles first) and I found it extremely useful even for myself… Love the site!

A glass of bourbon or scotch and a ball game on TV make it WAY more enjoyable. Although it will take a few minutes longer.