Comments on: Craft the Life You Want: Setting Up Shop, or The Importance of Where You Live

By: Lola

Lola — Sat, 18 May 2013 21:42:33 +0000

Thank you for this article. I am one of those that can’t decide. Here is my current dilemma:

I work in City 1, live in City 2 and my family (elderly parent and siblings) and friends live in City 3.

City 1 is urban but in a very pretty region, surrounded by beautiful and accessible countryside. The cost of living is not too bad and the quality of life okay for shopping and eating, arts and entertainment. My job is also great with opportunities for growth and development. However, I find it a bit lonely here.

City 2 is a small and very pretty provincial place, friendly, intimate, with a decent cost and standard of living but very little to do in terms of leisure without family or friends. I love my home there but find the city boring after a while.

City 3 is a capital city and has all of the diversity and dynamism, expense and noise that goes with that…I love it!

To summarise: I love my job in City 1, but I also love my home in City 2 and of course my family in City 3.

The question is: where shall I live? I now need to make a decision for the medium to long term.

Do I stay in my beautiful home in a pretty but boring city – I don’t think this is an option;
do I move to where I work and have a good standard of living but might perhaps be lonely – this will be good for me financially but not so good emotionally if I am lonely

do I move back to where my family is and have a lower standard of living and a have a weekly commute to work? This will be good for me spiritually and emotionally but given the cost of living and travel potentially disastrous financially!

Any suggestions/ thoughts on how to decide will be gratefully received! Thanks :)

By: JamieL

JamieL — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 19:02:13 +0000

I’ve been moving cities every 4 years since I was 18 and loving that feeling of “adventure.” But all of a sudden, this year I got tired of moving my stuff, keeping track of storage lockers and traveling to see family and friends all over the map. So I picked a city. Now looking into buying a place. Feels strange but sort of like a new kind of adventure. This article confirms my decisions so found it to be a great read.

By: jamie

jamie — Sat, 12 Jan 2013 01:00:27 +0000

This was so incredibly helpful. I have been agonizing over this. A job offer in my Native, MN has me torn up because of deep closeness to my family, but I moved to N.Cali 2 years ago and love the environment so much here. I struggle w/feeling slefish for enjoying the sunny days, the mountains, ocean and flowers I have such close access to. The only thing missing has been finding Mr. Right to make it feel like home. I kept thinking, reading your blog that anything feels like home if you have your heart at home with someone.

By: Julie in Hilliard

Julie in Hilliard — Sun, 02 Dec 2012 13:21:52 +0000

Hi Brett and Kate,

Thank you for the added perspective on making what feels like such an important and challenging decision on where to move, particularly when you are not only deciding for you and your spouse, but children as well.

My family and I are outgrowing our 2-bedroom condo and dream daily of where we would like to move. This article has really helped me to realize what is important to me and adds stability to our decision.

We currently live in the suburbs. I would like to remain near our families, even though we are in the middle of Ohio in Columbus and my family is 1 hour north with my husband’s family being 2.5 hours east. We both have good jobs here and feel that there is great opportunity for our children. I continually dream of allowing the boys some room to breathe outside the confines of the city though.

This has been a real part of the difficulty of our decision is whether we would be happy to live in the suburbs and be a bit closer to work or to break free of the city and have to invest more driving time in getting to work. It seems the commute would be worth it.

Thanks again.

By: Donna

Donna — Sat, 10 Nov 2012 23:38:21 +0000

Please explain how to see the locations on a map for different personality traits.
I’m interested in coastal areas- I crave the openness of expansive water.

Thank you.

By: Mr Rui

Mr Rui — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 17:11:56 +0000

Hi, we teach english as foreign language here in Portugal.
I’m in my former bedroom, a tube trip away from my bachelor condo, wich I haven’t paid for and can’t sell without parents’ permition.
If I move to any place exiting, I’m still alone and fragile. It seems that married men can get into trouble, in familys and neighbourwoods new to them, but women don’t.
It’s a trade for some time alone, private entertaining, but I’m no widow, I’m no pervert and I’m sick of this experience.
I try to respect places with fame, mind my own buisness, with my family, enlarge it maybe.

By: Christina

Christina — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 02:52:18 +0000

I had to laugh at the Pocatello, Idaho remark as that is where I grew up. Being away from family has been a very big sacrifice. I have missed and will miss lots of important thins. On the other hand I know that I would not have been able to become the person I am had I stayed in my hometown. I’ve been blessed with opportunities and experiences that just wouldn’t have come my way in Pocatello. I love where I live and I’m happy. When I go back to visit I have no desire to stay or move back. Missing family life is just something I’ve had to make peace with.

By: aj

aj — Thu, 03 Mar 2011 18:14:10 +0000

I love the thought of living somewhere else…the country is full of wonderful places that are brimming with possible adventures…new people to meet, experiences to experience…but I Love, love, love living in our small hometown.

Before my husband & I bought our house, we sat down and discussed whether we wanted to move somewhere else. I had just recently graduated with my BSBA in Accounting, and hadn’t gotten a “good” job yet. He hadn’t really started down his career path either. It would have been the perfect time to relocate.

But when we sat down & had a true heart to heart conversation about what meant the most to us in the end it was staying close to family. And raising our children in a rural area does have its advantages. It is a little annoying sometimes when everyone knows everyone else’s business, but it helpful when dealing with teens :) It is much easier to know all about their friends, and their teachers, and all the people & things that they are exposed to.

It is hard enough just getting enough quality family time when we live within a 3 mile radius, let alone if we lived hours away. I think the trade off is well worth it.
We may have been able to make more money elsewhere, but it is not all about money.

By: Jaime Anderson

Jaime Anderson — Thu, 03 Mar 2011 06:44:15 +0000

I moved from my hometown in Virginia to northern California as a single mom with two young children. I left my extended family and network of friends behind to start over in a new place because Virginia was never a good fit for me and I wanted to raise my children in a diverse, inclusive community. You have to match your location with your current life stage. That is, I don’t see myself staying here once my kids are grown. By then I’ll be ready for a log cabin in the Southwest. Great article!

By: Corinne

Corinne — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 16:27:00 +0000

I’m in a similar situation. My husband and I live in central Indiana we do not feel like we belong here at all. Cornfields depress me, and we love the outdoors and hiking and would like to not have to drive for hours for a decent hike. We plan on moving to Maine in the future, but it will be hard to leave both sides of our family behind. In the end though, we will be happier.