Comments on: Crazy Stuff Your Dad Has Said: The $#*! My Dad Says Sweepstakes

By: jedediah burger

jedediah burger — Sun, 03 Oct 2010 05:02:38 +0000

I was at a car show with my dad when I was a kid and I caught him checking out a foxy car model. I asked him “what about mom”?

He said “Son, it doesn’t matter where you get the appetite as long as you go home to eat”.

Amen.

By: Amyd

Amyd — Sat, 02 Oct 2010 15:35:41 +0000

My dad has always had diarrhea of the mouth…especially when I was a teenager and my friends were hanging out at my house. (picture the Skipper from Gilligan’s Isle crossed with Archie Bunker, btw).
Some gems:
“Never marry your first lay”, to my cheerleading squad, sophomore year in high school.
“You’ll get the Ebola”, in reference to Ecoli which despite his concern, wasn’t present at a fundraising barbecue.
Whenever he was mad at the news, he’d yell at Tom Brokaw…and more times than not the term “ape sh**” would come up…as in “I could throw ape sh**”.

By: Tom

Tom — Fri, 01 Oct 2010 20:18:41 +0000

“Hurry up! We have places to go and people to see…”

“Hit the bricks”

Me wearing a baseball hat at the dinner table.
My Dad: “Take your hat off. We are not Jewish”. For years I wondered why Jewish kids were allowed to wear baseball hats at the table. It took me a while to figure that out.

By: Steve

Steve — Fri, 01 Oct 2010 13:11:36 +0000

This one isn’t from my dad, but from my uncle.

He was known as a pretty gruff man, although with a soft heart underneath it all. At a family gathering celebrating his 40th anniversary with his wife, one of his daughter’s urged him to tell his wife that he loved her, as none of us had ever heard that before.

He looked at her and said, “I told you I loved you 40 years ago, and if anything changes, I’ll let you know.”

By: Scott Hartmann

Scott Hartmann — Fri, 01 Oct 2010 06:54:07 +0000

Dad:

“I always take new girls to the beach. You get to check out the goods and see what her face really looks like when the makeup washes off.”

By: Tim

Tim — Fri, 01 Oct 2010 03:27:21 +0000

My Dad tried to tell my gf at the time he’d taught me much of what I know. Not only false but also something I spent the rest of our relationship trying to get her to realize was false as he made a major jabroni of himself throughout our Christmas dinner.

By: ShellieAndBrutus

ShellieAndBrutus — Fri, 01 Oct 2010 03:01:01 +0000

After my husband asked for my hand in marriage infront of my parents, my Dad said, “Here’s $20. Go out and have a good time.” He thought a little, opens the fridge and pulls out a 6 pack of Miller beer and adds to my fiancee, “You’ll need this too.” in refernece to him getting me for a wife. To this day my husband tells people my dad paid him to take me off his hands.

By: Adam

Adam — Fri, 01 Oct 2010 01:38:54 +0000

I went to visit some friends in college recently and the only advice my dad gave me was to “lay on my side so I don’t choke on my own vomit.”

By: Jamie

Jamie — Fri, 01 Oct 2010 01:19:34 +0000

My dad never went to college but did well for himself. He is a Jack if all trades. Cars, carpentry, plumbing, etc… He always resented the fact that I didn’t show an interest in these things (to my regret). However, he always excused it because I was a really good student and felt tht was important. However, anytime I asked him a “common sense” question and he would get annoyed that I didn’t know so he never missed an opportunity to say, ” You ate the dumbest smart person I know.”

Thanks Dad. “How ’bout them Cowboys!” (Our normal greeting inthe phone.)

By: Anthony

Anthony — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 23:15:52 +0000

My Dad once (and has still) told me:

Do something, even if it’s wrong!

So simple, so true.

I’ll never forget it!