Comments on: Our Disembodied Selves and the Decline of Empathy

By: Pete Hamilton

Pete Hamilton — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 23:15:03 +0000

This is a fantastic article, and I say that as one who lived it first hand. In my first years of high school I lived on AIM and online games. I had little social life and I was awkward in face-to-face situations. Thankfully I had some good friends who started inviting me out and broke me from my shell. I quickly realized what I had been missing. To this day, however, I have some minor trouble dealing with difficult situations. My empathy is sometimes forced and stiff. This could, however, be attributed to the opposite. Since graduating high school, I’ve spent 5 years in the military and being crammed into a ship for any extended period of time with people can wear at the most patient man’s empathy. It’s interesting to look at it from both view points.

I’m seeking balance now. With good friends in several states and countries, it’s difficult to maintain meaningful relationships. Technology is allowing me to stay in contact and find opportunities for more meaningful encounters. There’s nothing better than meeting up in some unknown wilderness and exploring it with a good friend you haven’t seen in a while. You learn a lot more than just the lay of the land. Again, great article, and I look forward to reading through the rest of this site. (I just found it this evening.)

By: Bill

Bill — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 16:52:39 +0000

…and yet our President was lambasted by the right for daring to think that a Supreme Court Justice should have empathy.

Atticus Finch likley rolled over in his fictional grave.

The Right attempted to portray empathy as far less than “manly”; they tried to protray it as Unamerican.

A sad, sad time.

By: Steven Kippel

Steven Kippel — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 23:58:40 +0000

I have started a “gentlemen’s club” just to get a bunch of guys together once a month for a cheap, manly activity. It’s great.

By: Nataraj Hauser

Nataraj Hauser — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 21:25:32 +0000

Those of us who practice contact improv(isational) dance know this, observe it, and see the obvious disconnect that comes from an extreme lack of routine physical contact. Contact among adults is pretty tightly bound into a little box that permits sex, handshakes, and sports. Pretty much anything else is off limits for most adults. Men hugging men? Unlikely in America. Women hugging women? More, but their feet are two feet apart and they lean in so that only their shoulders touch. Contact improv BLOWS past all those limits and reconnects the dancers to their body and to the body(ies) of their partner(s). Empathy is a natural consequence. Very few social a-holes last in contact improv.

Allyssa (#49) also makes an interesting point. Surely there are more than a single cause, but I see individualism (magnified by the isolation and relative anonymity of the Internet), and lack of common interpersonal physical contact as significant contributing factors. Of course, the 2000′s also witnessed a massive schism between political factions here that created an Us vrs. Them mentality. For some, that Them list is getting pretty damn long.

By: Allyssa

Allyssa — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 05:26:13 +0000

Because I have been exposed to other cultures aside from that of American culture, I have observed that in contrast to collectivist cultures, there is less empathy in the American culture due to the values of capitalism and individualism.

By: Mike

Mike — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 21:02:45 +0000

Excellent article. Our culture is becoming much more narcissistic and “me-oriented.” If you want proof, look no further than the popularity of Facebook, Twitter, etc. There’s no need to broadcast the mundane, boring details of your life to the world, yet millions of people do it every day.

By: Joe

Joe — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 02:33:54 +0000

Excellent thought provoking article. I’m also impressed with the quality and content of the responses. I will definitely be recommending this article to my friends and acquaintances.

If anyone doubts that there is a decline in empathy, look no further than the rampant bullying in our schools. Look at how much of what passes for “entertainment” on TV consists of laughing at the misfortunes of others, from tone deaf people thinking they can sing to countless hours of video footage of males getting hit in the groin. Obviously, people who enjoy these kinds of things don’t ask “how would I feel it this were me being bullied or laughed at?” Instead, they’re thinking “better them than me.”

I’ve seen people lash out on internet forums because someone expressed a contrary opinion about an athlete or sports team. I’ve even seen people upset over things as trivial as which is the best roller coaster. Does the anonymity of the internet contribute to this anger? Would people have the same reaction if they were told the same thing face to face?

A decline of empathy has troubling implications. How could we maintain civil discourse, or operate our government if opposing opinions are not only considered wrong, but the people who hold those opinions are evil? If people are unable or unwilling to empathize with others, whatever the cause, individuals and society as a whole will continue to suffer.

By: Bob Giraldi

Bob Giraldi — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 02:28:52 +0000

Brett, this is an excellent article and I applaud you for tackling this subject. I also agree with many of the comments and find it encouraging that so many people are concerned about this.

Bob

By: Jim

Jim — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 13:52:11 +0000

Haven’t read all of the comments but I’ve noticed a big jump in popularity of “cruel humor” in advertising. I see people getting put down, embarrassed, and physically injured, as a form of comedy and catchiness in order to sell products. I’m turned off by this kind of advertising and make a mental note to avoid purchasing any products from the companies that engage in this sort of selling tactic. I do attribute that style of advertising to the over drop in empathy we’ve seen this last decade. People are evolving, or, devolving for whatever reasons, including the ones Brett outlined above.

Good luck out there. It’s a mean world we’re heading into; it’s up to us to change course.

By: Gilles

Gilles — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 09:18:04 +0000

I have just finished reading a book from Leonard Shlain, “The alphabet versus the Goddess”, and it does confirm your point quite well. To sum up a bit his theory, when a civilisation have its litteracy rate increasing, people starts to rely increasingly more on abstraction and on left brain thinking, and a lot less on their empathic right brain which is more stimulated by pictures, and concrete human relationships. Their empathy will start to decline, and they will grow more violent, more misogynistic. Leonard Shlain was expressing a quite utopian idea at the end of his book : according to him the “Internet revolution”, with its reliance on pictures, and right brain skills, could foster people to go back to their lost right brain models. Obviously, it is not that simple, and anyone who has used internet fora for quite a time will testify how those areas are often litterally polluted by people completely lacking in empathy, spilling their venom on anyone unlucky to cross their paths, often with the complicity of the moderators. If one day a better human being emerges on this earth, he will not appear on the Internet.