This may sound crazy, but I hope it’s possible – Do we allow Indian style funerals, where a body is placed on wood and cremated outside? Or like old style viking funerals? Or like Darth Vader in Return of the Jedi?

Is this still legal?

The one thing i stress out there is to make sure you get what YOU need and don’t worry about tradition. Most families i deal with aren’t religous and find no meaning in a traditional service. I’ve done funerals with harleys leading the procession out of the funeral home, i have carried a casket out of the home to the musical stylings of Eminem, Being a funeral director we will always try and make this event in your life special, this is what it is all about, this is why we do it!

On a personal side note: funeral directors DO NOT make good money, in Canada the average salary of a funeral director before taxes is 30,000 dollars a year. which translates into about 21,000 dollars take home. I went to college for three years and apprenticed for 2 to have this job. Every single person who works in my funeral home has two jobs, the only suit i own was bought by the funeral home, the only Cadillac i drive is the funeral coach. I love my job but when people come in and accuse me of swindling or lining my own pockets with their grief it just breaks my heart. I don’t set the prices, i will let you know who offers these services cheaper because i am a professional. Just ask…

Also, if pre-paying, make sure you can get a refund of the difference if something beyond your control happens. In the case of my relative, she had been dead for 5 days before we found her, and that meant no viewing. Had she pre-paid for a traditional funeral, I don’t know if her estate would have been able to recover that money.

And be prepared to deal with other relatives who will second-guess your decisions and be angry with you over things you have no control over. At least a dozen relatives criticized the cremation — they felt they needed to see the body to achieve “closure”. I would have gladly traded my months of nightmares (I’m the one who found the body) for their “closure”. An aunt requested that we give her an heirloom quilt that she had given the relative. When we couldn’t find it, I called the coroner, described the quilt, and he checked the photos he had taken, and it had been on the bed. All the bedding got cremated with the relative, because it was considered biohazard. When we told the aunt, she was furious, threw us out of her house, and hasn’t spoken to us since. I heard from other relatives that she thinks we’re lying and that we “stole” the quilt. My spouse and I have considered not informing that branch of the family right away if one of us dies.

That will probably depend on the medical school; let Herr Doktor be frank: You have left a gift, they can do what they want and that usually means they want the whole enchilada intact. Call around and check, but make sure the institution is local as to make pick-up quick and easy. Herr Doktor thinks it’s important to remember that just because your left an anatomical donation, doesn’t mean that they have to take it. There are exclusions like traumatic injuries, homicide, suicide and certain wasting diseases that will preclude an institution from taking the the donation.

I’m interested in achieving maximum use from my remains. Whether for organ donation, medical studies, or science. Is there a way that I can prioritize the use of my remains? For example, can I donate to science after having needed organs removed?

For most people in most places, a simple will that leaves everything to either your spouse or kids will cost probably $300 or less. For people with larger estates or who wish to do something fairly complicated (setting up a trust, for instance) a good estate planner can advise you of the tax advantages and consequences of drafting a will in a certain way.

Bottom line, having a will gives you a certain peace of mind in knowing that everything after your death will be taken care of in the way that you want, and it gives your survivors a certain peace of mind in knowing precisely what you want done with your stuff. Keep it in a safe place and look over it every five or so years to make sure you don’t want to change anything.