Comments on: Building Your Resiliency: Part III – Taking Control of Your Life

By: Luiz Ferzam

Luiz Ferzam — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 23:30:11 +0000

HOLY DAMN F***!!
It’s like a message from some god or God you’ve sent me now! Time and place in life, that’s exactly what I needed to hear!

Thank you!

By: João Garcia

João Garcia — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 00:35:29 +0000

Superb article and that last poem was just the killing shot!

After some thinking my most recent phrase is

“I make my enlightenment.”

-J

By: Rob

Rob — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 17:41:38 +0000

I’m really enjoying these articles on resilience – they certainly resonate with me. I am reminded of one of my favourite quotations:

“Circumstances? Hell I make circumstances!” – Bruce Lee

By: Rick S.

Rick S. — Fri, 07 May 2010 16:48:53 +0000

I have, in the past, taken control of my life and have subsequently let that control go. At different times in one’s life one takes control and then lets that control slip. The thing is, you can’t let that happen. I was most happy when I, finally, took control and did something I wanted to do for a very long time. I attended college. Since then, 9-11 has happened, I’ve lost a job, I took a step backwards, found another job, lost my mother, moved 1500 miles for another job, got married, found another job, GWII happened, retired from the Air Force Reserves, moved departments, had a child (and step children), bought a house and bought cars. During this time I’ve lost or let go of control over many important aspects of my life. Most of the time controlling or not controlling is not an all or nothing deal, we let go total control over some aspects and maintain total control over others. This is natural especially with a wife and children. What is most important is the realization that you are relinquishing control over an aspect to another person. If the aspect is important to you then don’t relinquish control. If you’ve lost control over an important aspect, then take back control over it, don’t apologize just do it.

Now it’s time to take back control of the important aspects in my life… again.

By: Good Dave Hunting

Good Dave Hunting — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 15:42:01 +0000

Awesome article! I’m at a crossroads in my life right now and at times find myself following the path of person with an external locus of control. This article has definitely given me a new outlook on my future. Thanks so much.

By: TheModeration.com » Resilience, the bounce back effect!

TheModeration.com » Resilience, the bounce back effect! — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 00:14:33 +0000

[...] taking control of your life [...]

By: Resiliency Part VII: Building Your Children’s Resiliency | The Art of Manliness

Wed, 14 Apr 2010 05:35:35 +0000

[...] Part III, we discussed how important having an internal vs external locus of control is when it comes to [...]

By: Modern Maturity: Create More, Consume Less | The Art of Manliness

Modern Maturity: Create More, Consume Less | The Art of Manliness — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 23:06:39 +0000

[...] we’ve mentioned many times, men desire to be the captains of their destiny, to feel in control of their life. We want to be free agents and be able to turn our ship in any direction at any [...]

By: Todd Kashdan

Todd Kashdan — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 00:38:29 +0000

This has been a great exchange to read. Of note, there is plenty of research to show that there is a paradox in attempting to be in control. All of that effort trying to control our emotions, our thoughts, our actions eats up our limited supply of attention and energy such that there is less left over to simply do what matters. The ability to be aware, open, and flexible appears to be more valuable than any particular skill or personality trait. Can you adapt to the changing demands from one situation to the next?

As a professor of psychology, this is a topic that I have researched and written about for years. You can download the science:
http://psychology.gmu.edu/kashdan/publications.php

and read a book on the topic:
http://toddkashdan.com/

thanks for a great exchange. your blog has been bookmarked.

gratefully,
Todd

By: Jesse

Jesse — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 06:06:28 +0000

Nice. Thanks for this one.