Comments on: Road Map to the Perfect First Date

By: Nathan H

Nathan H — Wed, 22 May 2013 02:26:57 +0000

How would one decline her if she does invite you in? I understand the gentlemanly intention but I am confused on how to deliver without offending.

By: Miss D

Miss D — Fri, 10 May 2013 19:46:31 +0000

I have no allergies and no problems with things smelling nice so I would much rather you have some good smelling scents than the last person who posted about migraines (which I agree is a perfect way to end a date). The only thing that I would suggest is calling ahead and asking her if she has any sensitivities to fragrances! I think that’s not only the most considerate thing to do but it also shows you’re smart and not afraid to talk to me before a date! It should be easy to ask and then maybe she may even drop some hints as to what her favorite scents are, or favorite flowers (or if she’s allergic to them)

I should be a gentleman :)

By: Grace Mary

Grace Mary — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 22:11:09 +0000

This is an amazing article. Many of this might seem like common sense to some people. It is definitely sense, however, I can say from experience that it is not at ALL common.

I have one thing to add. If a woman invites you in and you decline make it clear to her that it is not because she is unattractive. Most women, even the stunningly beautiful, could be a model, ones have low self-esteem. Be nice.

By: James

James — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 17:22:08 +0000

Assuming date #1 consists of drinks and is basically just a meeting, should date #2 really consist of dinner? Isn’t that too soon?

Also, is a movie really that bad for the first real date? Why else would it be such a timeless classic date idea?

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Sun, 31 Mar 2013 00:25:48 +0000

I agree with the lion’s share of the above, but do have a couple cents to throw in from one lady’s perspective…

Women, just like men, are all unique individuals. By all means, have a structured plan of attack for how to approach dating us, but also allow that you are going to have to be flexible enough to tailor your approach to the woman at hand. If you don’t make the effort to do so, any woman worth your time is not going to find you worth hers.

Ex 1- I personally find it kind of arrogant if a man tries to plan what a *first* date will consist of without consulting with me as far as what I would like to do, and then mutually agreeing upon what we would both enjoy. It shows that he respects me, and that we are showing signs of being able to communicate effectively even at such an early juncture. I mean really, if two people can’t even agree on what to do on a first date, they really have no business dating each other in the first place.

Ex 2- I have an absolute rule that on a *first* date, if you want to pay for a drink or a cup of coffee, that’s fine, but I pay my own way at dinner and you pay yours. For one thing, that means I can order whatever I want (Yes, I will take the filet and 12 year old islay single-malt scotch and not the blended rail swill, thank you very much!) without feeling like I am possibly overburdening my date’s wallet or coming off as some high-maintenance princess nightmare. For another, there are plenty of men out there who think that, because they have made a financial investment in the date/woman, they are entitled to a return on that investment, be it sexual or otherwise. I am not a prostitute, and even the swankiest meal does not imbue you with eminent domain over my affections. By shutting the possibility of that expectation down, I assert that I am an independent, functional adult who determines her destiny and clearly draws her own boundaries so as to respect herself and others.

Maybe that makes me a little difficult. But if you are seeking a partner, not just a hookup, would you really rather she be that easy?

By: Chris

Chris — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 11:06:28 +0000

Its called Role Revision! I have female do all that with with..** Female please take note: If you want a date with a nice genuine guy, you better read this article

By: Bella

Bella — Thu, 10 Jan 2013 16:06:25 +0000

Love it! Any guy who does this for his first date is definitely a winner in my book!

By: Rune

Rune — Sun, 23 Sep 2012 10:22:32 +0000

Homemade letter: If you want to thank the lady for the date or ask her out on a date, you can also make a homemade letter. Many ladies love it to see that you actually spent time making a letter instead of writing it on the computer and print it out.

The recipe is as follows:
- Use 3 to 4 teabags in a deep roasting pan and add hot water.
- After the tea has mixed inn with the water put plain white writing paper into the water and make sure it is completely soaked.
- Let it stay in the water for about 20 min and then take it out and hang it up so that it can dry.
And there you go! A paper with a nice colour on it pluss if you then use some time to write the letter in a way so that she can understand what you are writing, that is big bonus. Also if you paint symbols or markings on the edges to make it look more smashing, go for it. Nothing says “I like you” more than a homemade letter that one can clearly see you used a lot of time on ;).

yep… that should be it if I can remember correctly.

By: Honda Enoch

Honda Enoch — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 20:54:12 +0000

One question about flowers is this. We always use the word “flowers” but what if you just take one flower? A single rose, or carnation. Would that make any difference in the “your trying too hard” vs the” it’s a romantic thing to do” debate?

By: Jonathan D

Jonathan D — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 10:01:37 +0000

I love this article and AOM, please keep on writing to teach me and the newer generations! The situation is, I want to date this girl I went to my senior Prom with, my question is what type of first date should it be for a girl you know pretty well?
Please and thank you.