To kick off Movember, the month-long mustache growing contest for charity, we’ve put together this list of the manliest mustaches in history. Enjoy!
When pre-pubescent mustaches grow up, they want to be Tom Selleck’s mustache. It’s a modern mustache masterpiece. Magnum P.I. wouldn’t have been the same with some dude with a naked upper lip.
Walter Cronkite’s mustache was the most trustworthy mustache in all of news history. And that’s the way it is…
During the 1980s and early 90s, no mustache was funnier than Eddie Murphy’s. We won’t hold Eddie Murphy’s mustache responsible for Daddy Day Care or Norbit.
I’ll take game show host who lost major manliness points when he shaved his mustache for $800, Alex.
Daniel Plainview’s mustache will drink your milkshake. And then bludgeon you to death with a bowling pin.
Hussein bin Talal
The King of Jordan’s mustache had an uber-manly lineage; it can be be traced all the way back to the Prophet Muhammad. Today, his son Abdullah II carries on his father’s peaceful policies and the manly mustache.
Australian film star Errol Flynn had a swashbuckling mustache that could make even tights look manly.
Rollie Fingers brought back the waxed handlebar mustaches rocked by the baseball players of yore. Diamondbacks relief pitcher Clay Zavada carries that torch today.
Scientists have proven that the secret to Steve Prefontaine’s record-setting running times was the aerodynamics of his mustache.
Wyatt Earp is a Western legend. Some sources say he killed up to 30 men during his time as a lawman in the American frontier. He didn’t even have to use bullets; his mustache knocked em’ over cold.
Ron Burgundy is the manliest fictional news anchor to ever live. He loves scotch (scotchy, scotch, scotch), leather-bound books, and the smell of rich mahogany. And of course, he had a kick ass mustache that injected the news with testosterone.
Clark Gable’s mustache doesn’t give a damn.
Nietzsche’s mustache can provide meaning to the life of even the most strident nihilist. Look at that thing. Awe inspiring.
Not only did Genghis Khan grow a manly mustache and rule over the largest empire in history, he also rocked the flavor saver way before it was cool. Wait, was the flavor saver ever cool?
Mark Twain had some strong words to say about beards: “It performs no useful function; it is a nuisance and a discomfort; all nations hate it; all nations persecute it with the razor.” Guess that’s why he decided to go with an awesome mustache instead.
Martin Luther King Jr.
I have a dream, a dream that all men will grow a mustache as magnificent as MLK’s.
Michael Phelps may now have more medals, but Spitz’s mustache could beat Phelp’s any day of the week.
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