Comments on: Overcoming the Barriers to Mentorship: The Retribing Giveaway

By: A. J. Rippo

A. J. Rippo — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 20:54:49 +0000

A comment on Jay’s post:
“I understand the desire/need from people, but in a way I admire the guys that want to find it out by themselves – maybe tougher and slower route, but then, learning the hard way is usually the best way…”

Becoming and being a man is very much an individual journey that we undertake on our own. In this regard, I agree with Jay. However, being mentored does not mean that we don’t “find it out by [our]selves.” Mentors are like tools that help each of us individually build ourselves into men (or to improve the men we are).

If a man desires to build himself a house, I recommend he use a hammer, saw, drill, and wide variety of other tools. Such use does not diminish the value of the lessons learned, nor his contribution to the finished product. A man could certainly build himself a house without using any tools, but as Jay points out the process will be “tougher and slower.” Life is short – there is so much to enjoy, experience, accomplish, share, etc… I believe a man should use tools. A mentor is a tool that helps an individual build upon himself.

By: Carl Muthman

Carl Muthman — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 06:20:02 +0000

At my last job I had a mentor when I started my apprenticeship and he was sort of an ornery fellow. He had a wealth of knowledge and was real good. He was accused of being slow but when the job was finished it was done right and completel. He didn’t tolerate bad work habits and he wasn’t politcally correct about informing others if they did. I took it upon myself to learn beyond my course of study and there were several times I saved his rear. After that he took me under his wing and passed on alot of info and treated me very well. I guess I just had to prove I was worthy.
It kind of came full circle years later when I worked an apprentice and he was struggling. He was on loan to our area from another part of the state. I had to sit down with him and simply explain what was expected of him and why he was given certain duties. Along with his work ethics, knowledge and skills his attitude was being formed and tested at the same time. He made it through his apprenticeship when he got home. Knowing the expectations of everyone involved makes the mentorship so much better.

By: Jay

Jay — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 23:16:29 +0000

Interesting post – I understand the desire/need from people, but in a way I admire the guys that want to find it out by themselves – maybe tougher and slower route, but then, learning the hard way is usually the best way…

Are you going to publish the winners? Personally I like Beau’s post best – thanks for sharing!

By: AGT

AGT — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 03:01:42 +0000

The best mentor I ever had was purely accidental. I found myself working for a person from whom I learned a great deal. Sometimes, the key is to be observant, and accept unscheduled, un-arranged, natural mentoring when it presents itself.

By: Beau

Beau — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 15:13:18 +0000

I’d like to share something that I routinely use in being a mentor to struggling boys. I’ve had wonderful results; and the boys (even their mothers and sisters) are interested immediately and want one of their own. If brief description, here is what I have done:

1.) I have read and put to use the book, “Raising a Modern Day Knight” by Robert Lewis. In it he points out these essential points to being a man.
A.) Reject passivity
B.) Accept respsonsibilities and duties
C.) Lead with courage
D.) Anticipate joy or expect the greater reward
2.) I had these principles stamped on official military dogtags; completed with a chain.

3.) I hand these out to the boys (and family members) that I work with as an ever present reminder of a code of conduct to follow when difficult decisions arise or old habits sneak back in. One only needs to pull the dogtag out from their collar and ask themselves these questions: Am I rejecting passivity, am I accepting my duties, am I leading with courage or giving in to peer pressure, am I anticipating joy and will things get better if I can just hold on?

A dogtag can be a manly object to possess. I often will display and share with those I mentor my own Army issued tags from 20 years ago while relaying lessons of diligence, determination, and discipline.

Among the hundreds of boys that I have worked with over the years, not even one has had a “strong” male figure consistently present in his life. Where have all the “MEN” gone? Chances are if you are reading this, you might BE an authentic man; or would LIKE to be one. In that case; please find just one struggling boy to mentor. Your efforts will not go unnoticed.

By: chris

chris — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 23:12:00 +0000

The problem that many may have with finding a mentor is commonality. I have found many men through out my life that I respected their opinion, but after I got to know them it was not what I would consider a mentor. Most were good men but due to contrasts in our personality or core beliefs it is not what I imagine a mentor to be. Unfortunately I have not found that great sage or shaman to help guide me through this difficult world in which we live. So I have tried to take bits and pieces of admirable qualities that I have found in men past and present. Though this doesn’t help in the day to day situations I hold out hope that it will help in being a mentor for my son as he grows in to a man. So if you are discouraged in your quest to find a mentor, don’t worry the goal is what is worth your effort not the trials you face in getting there.

By: Robert Nakayama

Robert Nakayama — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 19:42:55 +0000

Where do you find a worthy mentor?

By: Scott Erwin

Scott Erwin — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 19:21:05 +0000

Barrier: Making the time amid both our busy lives to meet and really talk.

By: Stridar

Stridar — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 16:40:13 +0000

Finding out who your mentor or role model is a big step, as it requires a great deal of humility. Once you have decided who your mentor will be, get out a pen and list the qualities you admire most about them

By: Don

Don — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 16:34:13 +0000

The person I would like to have as a mentor is a great distance away, and is also a busy man. I don’t know how to ask him, and what value I could get out of phone conversations.