Comments on: Meet the Parents

By: Trust me, I'm trustworthy

Trust me, I'm trustworthy — Mon, 20 May 2013 00:05:43 +0000

@Another Dude

Seriously? First, people don’t always look like their parents as they age. Lifestyle plays an important role in aging and it’s unfair to assume that your girlfriend will look like her mother as she ages. It’s also rather shallow and I’d be curious to learn where you learned this tidbit of armchair geneticist insight.

Second, your prediction about how a woman will act and expect you to act based on how she loves her parents seems rather naive. Indeed, it sounds like you’re projecting and attempting to make universal your family dynamic. Maybe you have your own Oedipus complex to work through.

@Gabe

Authority and standard of manliness? Is this 1950? Good question: how does your girlfriend talk to and relate to you already? That is a good picture of how she’ll relate to you. What you all are doing is the equivalent of casting horoscopes; you can project your expectations and look for external confirmation of what you want to happen, or you can be a grown-up and make your own opinions based on relevant and rational information.

If you like your girlfriend, stop looking for signs that something is amiss in her familial genetics or dynamics. Stop pretending you can predict things about how a person will act with you and look in old age based on third parties. Stop trying so hard to be manly and just be a person.

By: Gabe

Gabe — Tue, 08 Jan 2013 14:31:00 +0000

@Another Dude
Great comment. So true. Also, how does she talk to and relate to her dad? It’ll be a good picture of how she’ll relate to you. Right now, her father is the authority and standard of manliness in her life. When you get married, you will be the authority and primary standard of manliness. How she reacts to that authority figure will not change overnight, if at all.

By: Another Dude

Another Dude — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 07:53:10 +0000

Before meeting the parents, check to see how she feels about them. If she loves her mother, she’ll emulate her. If she loves her dad, she’ll expect YOU to emulate him, as he is her standard for manliness.

Look closely at her mom. She’s a living breathing fast forward look at what you’re attaching yourself to.

If she doesn’t love and respect her dad, RUN.

By: Spencer

Spencer — Mon, 31 Dec 2012 04:33:06 +0000

I always clear the table and help with the dishes after meals. I also always make my bed/leave the room in which I’m staying in the same condition that it was when I arrived. Little politenesses go a long way.

By: Peter Kirsop

Peter Kirsop — Fri, 14 Dec 2012 10:01:08 +0000

Good advice when you are the father of the groom about to meet your prospective daughter in law’s parents for the first time. Thank you kindly for the suggestions which are noted

By: Jake

Jake — Sun, 07 Oct 2012 02:39:48 +0000

My girl’s dad and I were good friends even before meeting his daughter so all that pressure was relived early, my suggestion is to try to make friends with the father so he respects you and trusts you with his “baby-girl” so to speak.

By: Benjamin

Benjamin — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 16:23:20 +0000

@ Jay – Assuming that you’re serious about the girl, I say it’s up to her. When my girl is ready for me to meet her parents, I will. If it’s been a year, I haven’t met them, and they live on the same continent, I might start to worry.

Next weekend, I’m meeting my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. We’ve only been seeing each other for a month and it’ll be a weekend trip to their home. It’ll be an experience! Especially since I’m an aforementioned Yank in the great South.

By: Jay

Jay — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 04:17:01 +0000

My girlfriend and I have been dating around three months now and I think it’s getting to be that time to Meet The Parents. Is three months too soon? We like each other a lot. This article has great tips on what to do when the time comes, but no advice on how soon that sort of stage is reached in a relationship!

By: Ami

Ami — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 11:49:12 +0000

@James:
How about something like dessert? You can get stuff ranging from cheap supermarket all the way to incredibly expensive luxury items, so something that falls in the middle, in your budget, could be good.
Or maybe if you have a local favourite, you could bring that along, to show them a little about where you come from.
Dessert always makes people happy, so it’ll be hard to go wrong. (Check for allergies just in case though.)

By: Eamon

Eamon — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 20:48:34 +0000

@John, there are quite a few things that I could discuss about your post, but as for the rather tasteless pregnancy comment, haven’t you ever heard of birth control? And people can be committed to each other and be living together without being married, both for reasons given by others who commented here, and for a host of others.