I learned Sprezzatura from Rev. Dr. Norman Nagel. He could skewer a phony at a 100 yards, but, was invariably polite and genuinely helpful to those who were seeking to learn. He could weave a tale (seemingly pointless) that would keep your attention until he revealed the crux of the matter, followed by an question that kept your mind busy for days. Conducted the Liturgy with a genuine reverence with hair mussed from putting on the surplice. From Australia through Germany and England was always dressed as a Dr. Professor ought: three piece suit or sweater vest and jacket, tweeds in the spring and summer. Only dressed down in his own back yard. Smoked thick black cigars, pipes and drank Foster’s from the can. Never shared, but spoke when he needed and was silent when he listened.

As an aside, I find it interesting that the Victorian gentleman and the Edo-period samurai both found restraint to be the most telling demonstration of proper behavior: note the similarities in the colors of fabric – subdued dark blues, browns, blacks, sometimes with subtle pin-stripes. Fascinating.

This may not have been the wisest move but having watched interviews with Sir Ranulph Twisleton-Wykeham-Fiennes, i can attest that he is a true gentleman, who considers all the risks before he sets out to do anything. His is also a man of honor who lives by his conscience. I highly recommend looking him up.