Comments on: 30 Days to a Better Man Day 20: Perform Service

By: P.D.

P.D. — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 02:13:04 +0000

I’m a bit disgusted that anyone is disagreeing with this at all. Yes, people get satisfaction from serving others. You act like that is wrong. Frankly, it’s people with that attitude who are harming society. Service to others is good. People do it because they want to serve. They feel good afterwards because they DID what they know to be RIGHT. I would think substancially less of a man who refuses to serve or scorns others who do for the very reasons you’ve all just given. Okay, sure. Sometimes people serve because they want to feel good, but why do they feel good about it? Because they know it is the morally right thing to do.

By: Jerry

Jerry — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 14:37:54 +0000

I have taught Lutheran Confirmation classes to teenage youth for more years that I care to remember. We have our base course of instruction but each teacher has a little lee way as to what “extras” are taught. My “extra” has been teaching “service before self”.

In teaching “Service before self” I explain that we are all Gods children and it is our duty to help our fellow man. At the end of every lesson I challenge the youth with the following challenge.
PART 1

1. Go out into the world (our community or where ever) and do a kindness by helping someone.
2. Don’t get caught. By Don’t get caught I simply mean that the youth should do a kindness anonymously. The youth should do something like clear the sidewalk of snow for a neighbor or the like. The goal is to silently encourage others to help others…sort of a “force multiplier” if you will.
3. Do not tell anyone about this kindness you performed. There should only be three people initially that know the kindness was performed. God, You, and the person you performed the kindness for. Any “advertisement of the kindness” should be done by the person receiving the kindness. they will probably tell others that someone anonymously helped them.

Part 2

1. Find someone that needs help, a lifting up so to speak. Find out what they need help with and then help them if you are able. DO NOT accept payment (that would simply miss the whole point of the exercise)
2. Join a service group that actually performs a service.

Over the past several years I could not tell you how many youth took me up on my challenge but I suspect the vast majority did because I noticed that almost all had a change in attitude and a better understanding of what John 15:13 is all about.

All this talk of getting a “good feeling” from service is interesting. It seems to me that if you go into the performing of a service just for the “good feeling” then you have missed the mark. If you go into the performing of a service just for the “plain goodness” or honor involved then you have hit the mark dead on.

Just my .02 I could be wrong and your mileage may vary

By: Cardo

Cardo — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 12:16:55 +0000

Volunteering service to another by means of fraternal organizations, service clubs, community groups, church organizations or just by doing it of your own free will of course carries the side result of feeling good about yourself and I can see where some would do it out of the NEED for self-interest. I.e. the need to do something to get that pat on the back or chance to say “see what I did, now tell me what a good person I am.” This by no means a valid reason for doing so. Performing Service for your fellow man should have been part of your upbringing as taught by your parents, mentors, teachers and clergy. As for Frank and Jake’s comments, duty to respond to the aid of others should have been included in your rearing as well.

I admit that I do get satisfaction out of the many things I do both as a volunteer and as a passerby in life that takes the time to help others, but by no means is this the reason I do it. My satisfaction comes from knowing that my one step or action when multiplied by all the people that are doing the same, help make this a better place to live in and raise my kids.

The actions I perform are the actions I saw my Father perform, the things that made a real man and a real father. I do my best to emulate his actions to try to live as a good man and a good father for my children. I have been brought up and have joined an organization where part of our obligations includes this duty to our fellow man, to the length of my abilities and to the point of no injury to myself. By helping others, I hope to pass these values onto my daughters so that there are three more people helping others.

As for not joining a large group out of fear that they are corrupt, treat the volunteers wrongly or not joining and those worried about duplication or services. There are many people that, out of lack of knowledge, fear of asking or just too much pride to ask for help, need people that are just willing to strike out on their own and offer help.

By helping your fellow man, there is no reason you should not be able to sit back at the end of the day and feel good about the way you choose to live your life.

By: Christatos Aristad

Christatos Aristad — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 18:49:52 +0000

To reinforce the argument in favor of charity allow to reference some relatively modern literature. Camus would say that as human beings we are all members of a Solidarity of Men against death. Even as an existentialist, he believed that the responsibility of every man as to stand alongside his fellow man and join together in the preservation of life in opposition to unjust and unnatural death and suffering. This can be seen in the judgment in the Strange, the release in the Guest, and the growth of hope in the Plague. Now if an Existentialist can reject the idea of self interest, despite the sophist concepts underlying the idea that permeates the philosophy, how can we choose otherwise?

Furthermore, the suggestion that every human action is selfish is so absurd as to be laughable. It is not only lacking in generosity it is asicienttific. Altruism is a well defined natural phenomenon and instinct that defies self interest, and exists in mammal as low as rabbits in the individual.

I recognize that was somewhat unkind, and I apologize for the tone, but I grow a little ungentlemanly when people make these kinds of specious and sweeping arguments in opposition to something as simple and positive as charity. There is simply no excuse for arguing against helping other people. No real gentleman can make such an argument.

By: Jake

Jake — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 17:36:03 +0000

So where would I fall? Yesterday, after a full day of work in the Florida heat, I saw (and had to drive around) a stalled vehicle in the turn lane on the way home. I didn’t even think twice that the right thing to do was to see if they needed help. I parked my car and went back and pushed the car safely to the side of the road without asking for anything, even thanks in return.

I certainly didn’t get any rush out of doing the right thing, but it was what I felt had to be done.

By: Randy Hauer

Randy Hauer — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 17:13:34 +0000

It seems to be that one of the great truths in life is “you always get what you give.”

If you give (volunteer or serve) out of self interest alone then you are not truly serving or volunteering. In other words, if you are giving to get something out of it, then you aren’t truly giving.

I’m not saying that there is any such thing as true altruism…but I am saying that authentic service is more like a self-expression, a generosity of spirit than just some kind of watered down emotional potlatch ritual.

Service implies a stand for something bigger than yourself…if you are serving simply “to become a better man” you won’t . If you truly serve you might become a better man, but that judgment won’t be your call to make.

jcard21′s posts arguing for self interested motivation has some truth in it (derived from Ayn Rand such as it is). I’m sure many people operate this way. Clearly he wouldn’t have posted if it wasn’t so for him.

By: Jason Y

Jason Y — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 16:43:14 +0000

@Darrell
You said, “Our philosophy will dictate our actions.” That’s not to say that our actions line up perfectly with our creeds, correct? Many debates over, e.g., the importance of doctrine in a church are confused by failure to recognize the difference between doctrine _on paper_ and actions. Actions reveal our _real_ beliefs, which might or might not line up with ideals we say we hold to. But I digress.

By: Darrell

Darrell — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 16:06:23 +0000

Good article.

Our philosophy will dictate our actions. If you come from a Christian world view then that is the meta-narrative which guides what you do.

Loving your Neighbor as yourself is part of the greatest commandment. We should do it because it’s the right thing to do. Protecting the weak and giving generously of our time, talent, and treasure is not a self-serving action. In fact, from the Christian perspective doing these things solely out of a hope for reward ruins the entire process.

That’s not an incompatible idea with personal responsibility or individual freedom.

A great book that I’d recommend is Magnificent Obsession by Lloyd C. Douglas. In it, the author explores the idea of anonymous and selfless giving. It’s well worth a read.

By: Dave

Dave — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 15:49:19 +0000

I happen to believe that there are selfless people who help others out of love for God and/or neighbor. Part of becoming a mature person is to accept that the world does not revolve around you. Serving others is a good way of learning this lesson.

By: Randy

Randy — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 15:47:41 +0000

I just want to add a quick point. I started volunteering early on in my college career – all for the wrong reasons. The reasons for doing service seem to be, as both the article and many posters mention, 1) it makes you feel good, 2) having service looks good on resumes. The problem with coming into service thinking that you are “changing” something, or helping someone that needs helped, is you are putting yourself above the problem.

I now work in a non-profit clinic. The problems of health care are consuming the news daily – I won’t spend time addressing them here. What I will mention, however, is that the danger of being above the problem is that your perspective is skewed and you isolate those you are trying to serve. Service is a two way street. While you are working to help others, successful service allows the opportunity to destroy barriers between social classes. Brett alludes to this in his article, but it’s important to understand that breaking down social barriers includes both lifting others up, and lowering yourself.

I will conclude with one final point. A life of service is nothing without a form of spirituality. When your heart is broken, you need something to heal it. While I pursue my service from the life of a devout Christian, it’s not to say that meditation, Buddhism, or any other kind of spirituality (not even necessarily a religion) has potential virtue to those living a life of service. If curious, research the life of Oscar Romero, or the writings of Ignacio Ellacuria.