I also would suggest not to be to eager to cutting clear bounderies between hetero or homo. There is a component of homoeroticism in most friendships among young person (admiration for the strongest, the cleverest, the winner etc). This does not entail being homosexual or adopting a “gay” life-style ( a construction of middle class white anglos: In many cultures male friends walk hand in hand, without being necessarily homosexuals.)

On the other hand, there is a lot of homoerotic complicity in two friends that chase women together, and even more when they share the same woman in bed. In the country I come from, sharing a woman is meant to reinforce the male to male friendship…

Probably in the USA in general people should train themselves in seeking more the spirtual component of life, and therefore see friendship not as a way “to do things together”, but a way “to feel together”. After all, the world sympathy is from ancient Greek “to feel together” (sin + pathos)…This is a more general discourse that involves family relation as well. But the wise man is the rested man. And most Americans work too much, or in too stressful conditions, to have the possibility to really enjoy the leisure of friendship, that requires time, dedication and sense of duty (sense of duty means in this case: to do things that one does not always like, and doing them for the sake of keeping a good friend). A friend is not a toy. He is someone we can confront too, We can even quarrell with a friend, but if there is a core of affection, common values, and patience, the friendship remain.
The subject is huge, but huge is also the bibliography…Enjoy nice readings…and forgive my typos, I am not a native speaker

One thing I’m noticing on the site is this automatic linkage of “manliness” with strict heterosexuality, which I just cannot accept. As a gay man myself, I understand this linkage, but in the modern era it just seems to be artificial and limiting. Indeed, this article refers to “the fear of being called a homo” as a major factor in heterosexual men not connecting with other men in honest friendship. Such a sad state of affairs, but hopefully one that is starting to change. I have several very strong, personally important friendships with heterosexual men (in fact, one straight friend made me godfather to his two sons!) and these friendships are based on shared experience, trust, good humor, and simply being there when a friend needed a helping hand or good right arm. Trust, loyalty, honesty, judgment, discretion…these are not exclusively heterosexual traits. I’d argue they’re traits found in all the best of HUMAN friendships. Rather than focusing on what a person does in bed, maybe the better course is to judge a man by his actions, temperament, and individual qualities. Seems to me that any man can find the friends he needs if he just looks around with honesty and openness.

Per today’s topic, my family and I just moved cross country to reconnect with old friends.

Thanks to everyone who contributes here.

Of the two, Adams was the better man–and woefully underappreciated and unknown in our modern day. A good start is the HBO miniseries about him (available through Netflix).

I think the comparison between Facebook and the old calling card is pretty right on, and a great observation. Because you used to leave your calling card and then it was up to the person as to whether they wanted to make contact with you and have you visit. Although these days, sometimes people “friend” you on Facebook with no intention of initiating a deeper relationship, which with the calling card, would have been a real breach of etiquette.