Comments on: The Writing on the Door

By: Amy

Amy — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 10:23:55 +0000

Without intending to you have highlighted with manifesto-esque quality the feminism’s offspring, hideously turning out not to be a female liberated from woman, a person purged of a tumour, but a deformed newborn, that is, new woman, half woman and half female, with no concept of either complete woman-ness or female-ness, no sense of the wrongness of her own state, and as a result sexism in two distinct forms: woman-hating sexism, represented by the desire for classlessness, and female-hating sexism, represented by the desire for class (i.e., to be woman). Deluded into the belief that you are neither deluded nor require liberation, like so many examples through history, you are able to write articles such as the one above and convince yourself that you have not made a declaration of self-hatred, that your woman urges are natural, not an abomination, not a tumour to be removed with extreme prejudice. This is the failure of feminism. How obscene that after decades of revolution woman emerges triumphant and anesthetises the female into Orwellian compliance, nay, compulsion. You believe that the intellect can not surpass the physical (forgetting that the mind creates the physical, not the other way around), and in that instant resign yourself to the subservience that you now attempt to fortress. How absurdly grotesque.

By: conflicted

conflicted — Tue, 19 Feb 2013 02:31:43 +0000

I feel very conflicted about the steriotipical men and woman of old

If I am supposed to open the car door in the rain, is this some implicit way of saying that my physical well being (case in point: getting wet/getting a cold) is less important than hers ?

More proeminently, if I am supposed to defend a woman in a altercation, are my physical integrity and continued life less important then hers ?

It may seem that this is a rethorical point, but it is not. I really want to understand/get opinions and answers

By: Steve Boucher

Steve Boucher — Tue, 01 Jan 2013 22:00:22 +0000

as per Barney Stinson (the bro code) if they can have their own basket ball league they can open their own door, it is not that heavy.
If my hands are full or I am incapacited in some manner then yes I like someone to hold the door for me but othewise I DESPISE it when someone does that. I dont want to feel I owe then something and having them do that for me means I owe them next time. I always feel I need to speed up to get to the door so they dont have to wait for me etc. I have two hands and a heartbeat. I can handle a door myself and expect others to do the same

By: Utsav

Utsav — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 06:51:30 +0000

Is there a woman out there that can open the car door for me?

By: Viktor Khersonski

Viktor Khersonski — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 00:07:07 +0000

I agree wholeheartedly with this post! The one thing I feel you missed out on, is that a man should not only hold the door for a women, but also for other men and even random strangers.

Think for a second about how rude it would be if a guy we re holding a door for his gal, then as you walked up he let it drop and slam in your face… That’s just being courteous, not chivalrous. Which is, lest we forget, equally important.

By: Anon

Anon — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:41:33 +0000

To me a real man will support and encourage my career aspirations.

By: Tasha

Tasha — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 18:40:42 +0000

I’m a 18 yearold female, first off I’d like to say I completely agree with this blog , metaphorically and non,
I adore this site as well, I was raised to be feminine and sincere, and to love and obey, but I would never to anything less than a gentleman, at my age although I am young it seems all chivalry has be lost and forgotten ,

I would also like to say , without meaning any drama, I very much agree to that tom fellow being a rather big jerk

By: Michael

Michael — Wed, 13 May 2009 22:58:51 +0000

I think something to consider is the idea that the feminist movement may not have happened or been necessary if there had been a “men-imist” movement. I do not believe it was as much a matter of women being dissatisfied with the state of women as being a matter of men not being men. This forced women to fill the gap.

My experience is when a man behaves like and assumes the responsibilities of a real man, and treats his lady like a real woman. The woman feels less of a need to take charge or seek independence, and is happier in her feminine role. I believe women should be treated as equals, but at the same time viva la difference!

By: James

James — Wed, 06 May 2009 09:46:31 +0000

People seem to forget that being a TRUE gentleman does not involve putting women on a pedastal. A true gentleman will get that door whether you are a man or a woman. For some reason, though, the idea of a gentleman got skewed as putting women on some kind of pedastal.

By: Indiana

Indiana — Wed, 06 May 2009 03:17:35 +0000

As a (female) child of the 70s, this article puzzles me. Never have I encountered the door-opening anxiety the author refers to – whoever gets there first opens the door. That’s just good manners, male or female. Why should it be otherwise?

I also don’t understand the example the writer gives of the supposed modern female confusion:

“We roll our eyes at macho posturing even though a man’s bold strength and courage make us feel safe. We complain endlessly about the audacity of the male ego, but it’s a man’s confidence that gives us faith in his wherewithal. And while it’s fashionable to sing the praises of a sensitive guy, I believe most of us prefer men who are thick-skinned and resilient..”

How is ‘macho posturing’ similar to ‘strength and courage’? Surely it’s the sign of someone attempting to feign qualities precisely because they lack them? And how is egotism related to confidence – don’t empty bottles make the most noise? Can I not reject an arrogant, posturing man in favour of one who is quietly strong and confident? Likewise, can I not hope for a man who is ‘sensitive’ enough to be aware of my feelings, and sufficiently in tune with his own feelings to be resilient? These are false dichotomies.

Besides, none of these qualities are gender specific. Opening doors or being confident does not make me a man anymore than cooking dinner and nurturing a child makes my brother a woman.