Comments on: How to be the Perfect Houseguest

By: Zelda

Zelda — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 18:44:32 +0000

Expanded perfect house guest suggestions:
As we journey through the summer we may have opportunity to stay with friends and family. If you ever want to make a return visit, these are some common courtesies you should remember to employ. Remember you are disrupting their household for the so be a gracious guest. The hostess is not your personal maid!
Don’t just invite yourself to come for a week-end! Chances are your hosts have plans and that would be an imposition to have you staying with them. Wait to be invited.
Most people work during the week, so do not show up on a night when they need to be at work the next day unless they have invited you. Weekends are usually better. It’s very true that fish and house guests stink after three days!
Never, ever, gossip about or criticize your hosts, their homes or family members, especially during your stay. It’s disrespectful and rude. You’ll only declare yourself an ungrateful guest, unlikely to be invited even by those with whom you gossip.
Ask if you may take a shower, and keep it short, others may need to use the washroom. If towels are not placed out don’t presume that the towels in the bathroom are for you. Ask what towels you can use. Keep the bathroom neat and always hang the towels up in an orderly manner. Don’t through damp towels in the hamper as they may not get washed immediately and it risks mildew ruining the towel and all things in the hamper.
Make your bed/fold your blankets, and put your belongings in one organized, out of the way pile.
Do not set your suitcases on the clean guest bed. Chances are it may be dirty or may snag the material of the bedding.
When you’ve been wearing sandals all day, remember to wash your feet before going to bed to avoid dirtying their sheets.
Do not have sex in your host’s bed. Most civil people can restrain themselves. It is consider very ignorant to do so…get a room instead.
Remove make up before going to sleep so your host doesn’t have a picture of you on her good pillowcases.
If you shower before bed, don’t sleep with your wet head on their pillows, it causes mildew and will ruin the pillow. Don’t use the pillow shams…they are for decoration and probably need to be dry-cleaned. I’m sure your host will give you an additional pillow if you need it, or bring your own!
Don’t stay up late watching TV loudly or rummaging through their fridge or cupboards for food.
Don’t eat in bed. Nobody wants to find cheese puff stains on their good duvet!
Don’t make assumptions. Unless you are specifically told to “help yourself to anything” in the refrigerator or pantry, always ask before taking something, and never take the last of anything. This is especially true of left-overs which are not easily reproduced, or expensive items.
Offer to make contributions. Even if you’re not eating at your host’s home, offer to purchase the groceries (after all, you still need their toilet paper!). This is usually the most burdensome additional cost for your hosts. Remember that they have probably already been shopping for extra groceries and spent a considerable amount of time and money to get ready for your visit.
B.Y.O.B. Liquor is not cheap and it is just bad manners to drink all of your host’s booze.
Don’t sleep late. If you hear your hosts are up, get out of bed as well. Chances are they want to get on with their busy day and may worry about waking you. By the same token, don’t wake up and disrupt the sleeping household. Find something quiet to do until your hosts arise.
Help out. If you’re living with others and contributing to the mess you should help out with the house chores or watching their children while they run errands.
Don’t put your dirty feet up on their couch or coffee table, you may do this at home, but this is not your home! I’ve actually seen house guests sprawled out on the only sofa in the living room leaving no room for additional guest who had arrived.
If you follow these tips chances are it will make for a pleasant stay for both you and your hosts. If you don’t, you probably won’t be welcome back!

By: Babs

Babs — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 15:56:16 +0000

A friend of mine has often stayed at my house for a couple of weeks at a time.
He lacks any manners and drives me crazy.

*Sleep where you are told to sleep and don’t expect to make your self comfortable in the hosts bed!

If you spill drinks on carpets, tell the host so they can clean it. Don’t put a chair over it to hid it. Say you are sorry!!!

Don’t leave you clothes draped all over the house and case contents spread all over the floor in the main area of the house.

Don’t move furnishing to accommodate yourself.

Don’t sit a wait for your host to cook your meals. Give a helping hand.

Don’t expect the host to keep you occupied and drive you everywhere.
Remember, it’s you that is on holiday not the host!

By: Bryce

Bryce — Tue, 09 Apr 2013 14:40:24 +0000

Just as an extra tip, whenever I stay with friends or family, I always like to take the time to write out a “Thank You” letter. Most recently I wrote a letter to my girlfriend’s parents who let me stay at their house for a few days in order to visit. This was the first time I had met them, and they live rather far away. The letter merely included that the same offer was always extended to my girlfriend, and that they are always welcome to visit. The fun that I had with them, and telling them that I felt extremely welcome (after I got over the initial nervousness of meeting an ex-marine). However, I’ve done this a few times, and that extra “Thank You” always does your host some good.

By: Alexander Connell

Alexander Connell — Sun, 24 Feb 2013 19:18:17 +0000

If you’re sharing a bathroom with other members of the household, be respectful of their work or school schedules. If you must take an hour long bath every morning, let them get in and out first.

By: Hans Verhoog

Hans Verhoog — Sun, 17 Feb 2013 10:41:31 +0000

There seems to be a lot of fuss over tip umber 1 and I have to admit, it would make me somewhat uncomfortable for the following reasons :

1. As a European I don’t use checks, so I can’t send a check, so I would have to ask my friend for his bank account number, and I would have to disclose what I need that for.

2. My friend could get the impression (maybe i’m thinking too far) that I put a price tag on our friendship “What am I? Worth $ 100.- in groceries?”

What works out GREAT for both us and our friends in New York is that we go shopping together, and I squeeze in at the register and say “I got this”. They appreciate the gesture, and they pick up on my sincerity so they don’t feel the urge to decline.

By: Simmie

Simmie — Sun, 13 Jan 2013 09:01:27 +0000

Ok, here’s a curly one related to point 8: 8. Do not ignore your friend altogether.

What if the invite says immediately family only and the person you are staying with is extended family ? Should you invite the extended family member to the event, even though the extended family member was not invited ?

By: Riva

Riva — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 04:16:46 +0000

Please help;
What do you do when you have family that comes unannounced to your home,
Without making a phone call, to let you know that they are coming, how can I resolve this once and for all, I had asked my cousin to give me a courtesy phone call, she does this deliberately just to be nosy,
What do I do,
Thank you,
Riva

By: Sara

Sara — Wed, 21 Nov 2012 17:07:47 +0000

My issue is with my son and his wife. They have four small children(9months to 5 years) two with special needs. They go to Disneyland once a year either at Thanksgiving or Christmas- they stop to vist family ‘on the way’ for three or four days.. almost as soon as they arrive the d-i-l usually disappears all together-shopping for one thing or another or whatever excuse she can use to ger away from her kids- the children are allowed to use our home as their playground-nobody picks up, nobody help prepare meals,nobody offers to wash up the dishes, nobody does anything but mimi-the house is total chaos the whole time they are here-mimi is 70 years old and children and grandchildren or not I do not want the extra work involved required to having them visit.. I do not invite them, they just say they are coming I encourage them to stay in a motel, but of course the stock answer is its too expensive– might cut into the $3,000 they plan on dropping at Disneyland during their 4 or 5 day stay there- I am not intersted in helping them pay for their vacation- if they have that kind of money to spend at Disneyland I say they can cut one day off the Disney trip and use that money to stay in a motel while visiting us. They are NOT good family houseguests, and I am getting more and more resentful each time they visit. I love them and love getting to see them and visit with them- but cannot continue the way things are going.Any advice.. thanks

By: SwBratcher

SwBratcher — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 14:23:55 +0000

Great advice but never #1. Don’t send money. Bring money. On your first day or the first morning if you arrive at night, arrange to hit the grocery store with your hosts and buy provisions for the whole group in some capacity to help ease the burden of food cost.

This is also a great chance to plan meals at home as guests and hosts preparing and dining together while avoiding the expense of dining out. (I would encourage going out to their favorite restaurant too).

If they are still enjoying your wine and remains of your grocery shopping for a couple days after you’ve gone they’ll think quite fondly of you in your absence. (Unless you broke to many of the other rules above).

By: links of london

links of london — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 05:45:08 +0000

First of all, don’t assume your friends or relatives that just bought a vacation home (or own a primary home in a tourist area) intend it to be for YOUR vacation. If they bought a second home to relax and get away, the work involved with having house guests may not be welcomed.