Comments on: Coming of Age: The Importance of Male Rites of Passage

By: David L

David L — Tue, 14 May 2013 15:56:10 +0000

I think it is important that people realize that being an adult male is not the same as being a man. Manhood means responsibility, character, leadership, and many other things. An adult male going to college or living at home at 25 is not a man. Based on my personal experience (Military – Career – College degree – Marriage) I believe I crossed the bridge to manhood when I met the following criteria:

1. Fully self-sustained financially.
2. Proficient in my profession – trade.
3. Embraced and practiced the importance of citizenship, personal responsibility, and character (respect for others, integrity, mercy).
4. Transitioned from apprentice, student, follower TO leader (not supervisor), mentor, teacher, counselor.

I appreciate everyone’s insight in this issue and in some respects I think everyone’s experience contributed to their current status as a man, but ultimately manhood is a deep transformation that is not easily obtained with one act.

By: Konrad

Konrad — Mon, 13 May 2013 18:24:00 +0000

Oddly enough, the moment I remember most, and that I think of being my rite of passage, was the first time I was included with my father and older brother in a dirty joke.
My father had a house building hobby, We would build a house, move into it and sell the old one. Or sometimes buy an old house (100 years old) and renovate it. This happened about every four years.
I was about 14 and we were just finishing the last details on the house. We were all standing around in the garage with some cold drinks (soda for me) and my dad told a dirty joke. We all shared a laugh and at that point neither my old brother or my father treated me like a boy anymore. They could cuss and talk about women and such. I will never forget it.

By: Tim Bateman

Tim Bateman — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 18:58:06 +0000

In Singapore, every boy, upon reaching the age of 18 are to be enlisted into either the Army, the Police force or the Civil Defence force(Firefighters/urban search and rescuers/hazmat/marine firefighting etc). In school, boys are subconsciously drilled into their minds that they will never be looked upon as a man until they have served their two years of duty in the abovementioned forces. Even among peers, for example in a tertiary education school, there are men who have finished their national service and have continued education, he is looked upon differently amongst the rest simply because he has gone through 2 years of strict regimentation and discipline. Even in a family environment, the elders will start to acknowledge the fact that this is not their babyboy anymore but their son.

By: patrick

patrick — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 16:20:33 +0000

My Quest was a rite of passage.
Fantastic experiance!!

By: Joe

Joe — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 03:28:30 +0000

I really had two major ones I think. The first was getting Eagle Scout. The second one was graduating seminary and moving from Texas to take my first pastorate in the Boston area.

By: The Masks Men Wear | The Art of Manliness

The Masks Men Wear | The Art of Manliness — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 01:54:22 +0000

[...] that marked a tribe’s most important celebrations and transitions. Men wore masks during rites-of-passage, to ensure a bountiful hunt and harvest, to escort recently deceased spirits into the afterlife, [...]

By: Reflections of a Paralytic » What is Manliness?

Reflections of a Paralytic » What is Manliness? — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 06:27:18 +0000

[...] good manly articles at AOM: So You Want to Become a Man Coming of Age: The Importance of Male Rites of Passage Get the AOM Book July 22nd, 2010 at 12:24 [...]

By: Losing Dad: How a Man Responds to the Death of His Father | The Art of Manliness

Tue, 15 Jun 2010 03:53:05 +0000

[...] Up the Mantle. In many ways the death of a father serves as a right of passage, though a painful and difficult one. This is due to the fact that for many sons their inheritance [...]

By: L.T.

L.T. — Tue, 18 May 2010 22:57:14 +0000

For me it was only this year when I went through pledging.
While the comment above suggests that all fraternity pledging is watered down and meaningless I can assure you there still exist organizations willing to have a difficult and meaningful program. Only half of my pledge class were able to man up enough to make it through the process but those of us who did can attest that it was worth way more than we ever could have thought going into it. My pledging experience lasted 6 grueling weeks and in that time I watched one of my (now) brothers over come the anxiety attacks that modern society had simply given him pills for and every single one of us unlock hidden potentials. We are men; chivalrous, intelligent, strong and above all determined.

By: What Is Manliness? | The Art of Manliness

What Is Manliness? | The Art of Manliness — Sun, 16 May 2010 21:39:39 +0000

[...] have attained manhood despite the odds, all have one thing in common: They sought and completed a rite-of-passage. They went looking for a challenge when others hid from [...]