But, this time, I want a romantic proposal, not a discussion. I’ve been with this guy for almost two years and I want the surprise element and for him to go to some effort to make it special. Lately, I feel like he is testing the water in our conversations over the phone (we have a little distance between us) but I don’t want to talk about it over the phone, and I don’t want a ‘discussion’. At the same time, I don’t want to have to tell him that I want a more traditional proposal…kinda spoils it, having to ask. Sigh.

We had done our homework and both of us realized that we were moving toward marriage. I had already asked her dad. But to make it a surprise, I led her to believe that it would happen in a month at her parents house at Easter by asking somewhat pointed questions. Then I surprised her by proposing at the lovely Dow Gardens next to the Frank Lloyd Wright sprite statute.

The first words she said after “Yes!” were, “but you lied to me!”

That was 26 years ago. I’ve been lying when appropriate ever since.

So, we started compiling information to go forward with a fiancee visa petition, even though she was still in Brazil. That summer, I went to visit her for a few weeks, and I brought a copy of the binder that we sent into the US government as proof of our relationship for the visa. After about 2 weeks, I finally got to take her out to a nice restaurant (we didn’t have the luxury of having our 1st meeting place proposal, since I had never been there–and the weather was very rainy for weeks on end). I brought the binder to the restaurant, because she hadn’t actually seen it completed. In the binder was the story of our relationship–our emails, message, even phone bills that showed how much we talked since we’ve been dating… And also a picture of the ring, but I turned in backwards. And when we got to the page with the backward picture of the ring, I said, “Why is this picture backwards?”

I pulled it out, and showed it to her, and her eyes lit up. As she was admiring it, I stood up, pulled out the ring, and knelt down and said “It looks much better in person.” Then, I told her how much I loved her and wanted to have the honor of spending the rest of my life with her. She loved it so much! It was somewhat cliche with the restaurant, but because of the weather, there were only a few people, and it was very intimate. Also, the binder was very personal as well because it represented not only our relationship’s history, but also its future, as we are petitioning a visa to be able to get married. I love her so much!

Best of luck to all you out there!

After waking up together in the morning I pulled out my guitar and played to her a few verses of a song that we both like, our romantic song. She liked that soooo much! Then I pulled out a big bouque of red roses, got my ring ready and knealed down in front of her, still sitting on a bed.., asked the question. At first she was quite confused, could not believed what was happening, I had really surprised her and she was still sleepy. But she said YES!

We then went to the balcony, brought the table and chairs there. It was early in the morning, and a beautiful summer day was in the making. There were only the two of us and birds singing. I then brought out the food (breakfast), that I had already prepared yesterday and poured ourselves a glass of strawberry champagne. We then had a short prayer, blessing this situation, food and ourselves, made a toast. We were both so happy and enyoyed the peacefull morning.

I think it was the right kind of proposal for us. It was simple, what we booth like, but still very romantic. I also wanted to do something so nice which she would never forget!

** And here is one more tip. Guys, learn to play the guitar or sometnihg.. really! It is so good to know something like that and then use it in such situations. Women just love it!

Now the Second one I’m still debating on. With this one I already have 4 kids, 2 biological, I still want to make it awesome as hell and deffo memorable.. Next month we are taking a flight back to Texas for a couple of Days, and I think during that time would be the best time to do it. Now, I’m trying to either wait until we get there, OR do an inflight my version, my written material mock up of The Wedding Singer… Its not one of common methods, but I would like the opinion of everyone here…

Why did you settle then? I do have to agree that every woman should be made to feel special by her man at all times. Even by just a meanful look that he gives her. As women, whether admittedly or not, we fantasize from an early age about our wedding and our engagement (some go a bit overboard with it, and others just randomly dream of what it will be like). It is just in our nature to want a guy to take the time to think about us and how we would want to be proposed to. You don’t have to be a hopeless romantic to want these things. Just know that it is never too late to have romance in your marraige, and worry not, because to be romantic does not necessarily mean to be materialistic. My adivce to you is to talk with him on a mature level about your feelings and desires. In a marraige you should both feel that you can freely discuss these things. If you are having trouble with opening up to one another, try marraige counseling, or suggesting this website to him in a kind manner. Some men are either misinformed or uninformed on their responsibilties and duties as a man and as a husband. I truly hope that things turn around for you, and that you and your husband are able to find joy together.