Comments on: The Virtuous Life: Tranquility

By: Matthew

Matthew — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 14:12:01 +0000

Thanks for the post. The little things get to me sometimes. And instead of saying something I would regret, I try to step away and process it, sometimes shutdown. I agree that the best way to tackle unwanted anger is through prevention, which means changing my ideas (thoughts). My thinking is what produces my emotions and certain ideas are the triggers. Either accepting I cannot change or control something or simply not wanting to expend the energy to get mad also works. Getting mad can be so draining. Thanks for the mention of breaking an internal rule. That is somebody not living up to my expectation, not acting according to my plan.

By: Pranav

Pranav — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 12:39:38 +0000

Wonderful. Just so true and logical.

By: [转] Benjamin Franklin’s List of 13 Virtues - As the deer

[转] Benjamin Franklin’s List of 13 Virtues - As the deer — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 20:05:54 +0000

[...] Tranquility: Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable. [...]

By: kevin

kevin — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 23:10:11 +0000

Man this hits close to home .I’ve had a bad temper for years . I’ve destroyed furniture, cars and walls over stupid crap like not being able to find something or spilling something or hitting my hand on something . Thankfully I have not done that in a few years , Im in my 40s now and mayby I’m mellowing with age . Looking back on it I still feel stupid about it . Now if you’ll excuse me ,,,,,,, I’m gonna go kick my own ass .

By: Gary Slaughter

Gary Slaughter — Tue, 13 May 2008 21:56:19 +0000

Anger is a brief madness. – Horace, 20 B.C.

By: Alex

Alex — Tue, 13 May 2008 05:53:45 +0000

I’m amazed at how curbing my anger has changed my life. Emotional intelligence and rational emotive behavior therapy works wonders! Basically, knowing your emotions, and how to influence them. For example, let’s say you get yelled at for no apparent reason from somebody just because they were having a bad day. Maybe they were attacking you or your integrity. Whatever the case, most people would react with a fair amount of anger back. One of the things REBT teaches you is that it’s not the actions/events that cause your emotion it is the irrational beliefs that cause them (i.e. I should never be yelled at.). Great read all around, might want to proofread before you post though…

By: Gary Slaughter

Gary Slaughter — Tue, 13 May 2008 02:31:40 +0000

I used to have the same problem. Crisis, calm and level-headed. Stuck drawer or tangled coat hangers, raving lunatic. I partly blame Disney cartoons, giving personalities to doorknobs, cars, hats, etc.

As a survivor of the Baby Boomer generation, I think many of us were led astray by the pop psych matra, “It’s better to vent your feelings or they’ll explode like a pressure cooker.” Some years ago I found a better way, stop applying heat to it!!!!” Get over it. It’s a disappointment, not the end of the world.

Around the same time my father gave me some good advice when I was obsessing about something shortly after my divorce. He told me that every Alcoholics Anonymous meeting begins with the Serenity Prayer. After I thought about it, I realized there is a great deal of wisdom in those three lines:
Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things that I can;
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

I think one sure way to learn to keep your temper is see a video of yourself when you’re in full rant. Once you realized what you look like you’d never lose it again. Remember, James Bond (by this I mean Sean Connery) never lost his cool. For that matter, neither did Dr. Lecter.

By: Rodney Hampton

Rodney Hampton — Tue, 13 May 2008 01:38:41 +0000

Tony Robbins says every time you are overcome by anger it is really because some internal rule you have has been violated. I find this to be true.

By: derek markham

derek markham — Mon, 12 May 2008 22:55:19 +0000

Just found you.

Lots of good stuff here – I’ll be back.

By: Brett

Brett — Mon, 12 May 2008 19:57:36 +0000

@Mark-I have the same problem….I get angry at the little things, but I can be surprisingly calm when there are big issues to deal with. It’s kind of strange, that the little annoyances in life are what can really make you lose it.

I’d like to hear more about what you have in mind for re-visiting the BF virtues. Feel free to email me: brettmckay@gmail.com

I think I might start doing “Lessons in Manliness” posts on Mondays. Different snapshots of men in history doing the right thing. We’ll see.

@Santa-I actually always think the same thing about the “nails” story. True forgiveness can patch up the holes, almost like they were never there.