Comments on: How To Give an Impressive Handshake

By: Austin

Austin — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 02:19:34 +0000

@Mauricio Yes, I completely agree.
As for everyone else and the author, I find it great when you’re at a restaurant, and you shake your waiter or waitresses’ hand and tell them your name. They provide better service, are more friendly, and they will most definitely remember you. Just think- how many people do you think shake the waiter’s hand? My mother used to be a waitress, and she used to always say if waiters liked a customer, then they’d basically fight over that customer and try to be a better waiter, ha ha. But trust me guys, it really helps.

By: Mauricio

Mauricio — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 17:15:47 +0000

Perfect!
I’m in the automotive business, working as a project manager in a german car maker, and I’ve always paid attention to the hands-shaking rules. I do pretty much what you said, except for the strengh of the grip. I usually shake male hands with more strengh then it would be usual (in fact, some of my dpt colleagues used to call me ‘wrench’ when I got here).
In the other hand (and forgive me for the pun), when I shake a woman’s hand, I’m do it firmly (and stronger then her), but not too strong, and I noticed how that gives them a good impression about me. Actually, it’s usual here in Brazil to kiss cheeks when you are introduced to a girl in a casual occasions (at a party, club, bar, etc), but I’ve been changing that for a kind and firm handshake, plus a discrete smile and eye-to-eye glance, with impressively good results. The main pros are: The grip shows strengh and confidence, the smile shows kindness and the gaze can give an impression of honesty and transparency. All these things help to create comfort, which is a prior stage to the attraction.
Some guys would say the basic kissing cheeks tradition would be better if you are wearing a good perfume, but I believe it’s more important to create confidente and comfort first, and then she’ll pay more attention to your perfume, your voice, your clothing, etc…

Congrats for the excellent article.

By: How to Make Introductions Like a Gentleman – Art of Manliness « Gloria Filiorum Patres

Wed, 11 Aug 2010 09:58:46 +0000

[...] are always the time to shine, so when being introduced to someone, look them in the eye, offer a good handshake (when meeting a woman, wait to see if she extends her hand first), and say something [...]

By: How to Make Introductions Like a Gentleman | The Art of Manliness

How to Make Introductions Like a Gentleman | The Art of Manliness — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 03:48:42 +0000

By: SKM

SKM — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 15:15:10 +0000

Women will never be 100% equal with men, no matter how we might wish it so.

Wow. OK, just a general reminder: equal doesn’t mean identical; it never has. Moving on.

Like Laurie, I have small hands and (more than a tendency to) arthritis and tendonitis. I still deliver and appreciate firm, web-to-web handshakes. I do not like it when a man gives me a finger-shake; I have no way of knowing if he does that to everyone or if he views (and will thus treat) me as weaker than the men around him. A man who assumes I am weak or generally an alien species is not someone I want to work with and I would certainly never go out him.

Does a good firm handshake hurt my arthritic hand? Some days, yes. And you know what–so does just about everything else I have to do with my hands. Rest assured; I am used to it, so don’t sweat it. I imagine a man with rheumatoid arthritis might tell you the same, though of course I don’t speak for everyone.

As for hand-crushers: bone-crushing shakes strike me as a sign of insecurity. Please avoid them. Maybe practice with a friend to get your pressure calibrated?

When I do get attacked by a bone-crusher, I find that turning the handshake into a two-hander by putting my other hand on the back of the shaker’s often causes him to let up a bit.

Finally, never underestimate the power of the respectful nod-in-passing. You may come across someone who you have seen, say, in a meeting but don’t really know well enough to stop and talk and shake hands. Do still acknowledge this person with brief (never flirtatious!) eye contact and a polite but friendly nod. A little respect goes a long way.

By: Laurie

Laurie — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 02:01:16 +0000

This was an interesting read. I am gunshy when it comes to handshakes. I’m a woman with small hands and a tendency toward tendinitis and arthritis, even though I’m not currently wearing a brace on my hand. I’m going to have to remember that palm down maneuver.

By: Reality check

Reality check — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 08:04:07 +0000

Women are biologically different from men. The different handshake for m to w is an acknowledgement of this reality, and there is nothing wrong or demeaning about it. Women will never be 100% equal with men, no matter how we might wish it so.

By: Keith Ford

Keith Ford — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 17:19:51 +0000

Can anyone offer a suggestion to those perverse men who steadfastly avoid the thumb-in-thumb firm handshake, and instead latch on to just to the fingers, then give them a crush? It makes you feel like you were the one who flubbed the handshake, and you can’t grip them at all, because they have your fingers. It makes me want to ball up my handshake into a fist, then use it.

I also find it very interesting to have some guy try to crush my hand. I am a big man (6’3″, 260 lbs) and it often seems to come from much shorter men, and they try to see if they can make me wince with their bone-crusher handshake. I try to maintain a firm, even pressure despite their efforts to break my hand, but it still irritates the heck out of me. If I wanted to hurt someone shaking their hand, I could, but that is not the point of the handshake. I generally do no offer to shake hands with someone I want to hurt.

By: CANGEO

CANGEO — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 05:19:41 +0000

hello does anyone know what the handshake guys in Ireland is about? as in the meaning?

By: Kile

Kile — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 18:00:14 +0000

…and make SURE you take ahold of the ENTIRE hand when shaking, y’all…
Most irritating when a novice does the voice and firm handshake thing, then grabs only the fingers….GET THAT PALM!

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