1) When one person shouts, the other listens! If someone is THAT wound up that they have to shout to feel that they are being heard, than you have probably missed the signs already – so pay attention!
2) NEVER go to bed without finishing the argument! Even if you have to stay up all night and call in sick the next day. There should be nothing more important in your life than your marriage, so put everything off until the air is cleared! That is not to say you cannot take a break and maybe have a coffee in different rooms. (If you have any cups left!)
3) If you realise you were wrong, ADMIT IT! If you’re not prepared to do this, then it was all for nothing. The chances are you were aggravating your spouse without even knowing it. (On the flip side, do you honestly believe he/she is deliberately hurting your feelings?) You need to learn from your mistakes, and be prepared to adapt your habits to accommodate the love of your life. If not them, then who?

My wife and I have played massive influential roles in each other’s lives; if we hadn’t then the relationship probably wouldn’t be moving forward. Yes there are compromises! Of course there are, you have gone from being a single guy to having someone else to consider, on nearly every decision! Some people seem to think of compromise as a negative, when in fact it is finding the happy medium between two people that is the very essence of a partnership. Frankly, if you’re not ready to consider someone else, then maybe marriage is not for you.

Two resources that are incredible and will revolutionize the way you look at your spouse (and members of the opposite sex all around you). 1) Love and Respect by Emerson Eggelrich (the first half of the book just sounds like he is saying how great his material is, and the second half really is that great). This is a religious resource, but is worth it even if you are not religious. 2) Remember the Golden Rule (treat others as you would want to be treated). Many times we men say things to our wives the way we would as if they were men, and women speak to men as if children (we know you want the trash out, but tell us once not 30,000 times).

These two things have helped my wife and I’s relationship go from good to great (even with a 2 year old and six week old, no sleep, and busy).

I love the comments some of you made. Alicia and Samantha if your husband is working on a car, or mowing the lawn, or whatever he is doing around the house (even watching a game): grab a chair, sit 2 to 4 feet away facing him, smiling, and study the man you married. He may not notice you are there, but you can remind yourself why you love him. Then at a really good stopping point (commercial, when he is switching to the weed eater, when he is really confused about what to do next on the car) tell him you were thinking of 3 reasons why you really appreciated him, then walk away (and you must walk away). Good chances are he will follow you and ask why (then tell him the truly positive reasons you appreciate him).

Please read “Created to be his HelpMeet” for a wake up call on how you do have power to effect your husband. The number one need he has is to be respected, whether he deserves it or not. Sounds like his need is not getting met either.